4-1. F**k off.

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England's new blonde toy with the gold chain gives Aussies a look into the next decade of pain. And Slug's in the side now, right?

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Is Australia England's Dad right now? It's not for us to say.

V.

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Root finally gets his deserved red ball ton in Australia before Stokes and Marnus find themselves in some kind of scuffle.

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Now we're all curators all of a sudden as we step in and replace what should be the gentle hum of a soundtrack filling your living rooms during this otherwise meaningless time of year.

Don’t Miss a Thing this summer of cricket. Watch the Ashes ad-break free during play and live in 4K on Kayo Sports.

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Well done to England for winning one of the worst games you will ever see, Bazball is back.

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