Episodes

  • Stop Editing Yourself: The Real Cost of Playing By Invisible Rules

    Stop Editing Yourself: The Real Cost of Playing By Invisible Rules
    Apr 17 2025
    Ever catch yourself rewriting an email 12 times? Avoiding coming across as “too much” at the dinner table? Not because you are being polite but because you are avoiding other people’s reactions—that’s your nervous system following an invisible rulebook you never agreed to, written by someone else - and you have been conditioned over time to stick to it. In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes unpacks the silent systems that train high-achieving women to self-edit, self-silence, and stay small. From workplace conditioning to inherited social and family scripts, you’ll uncover the real reason behind decision fatigue, emotional burnout, and imposter syndrome—and how to rewrite it all. This episode covers: ✔ Why self-silencing feels “safer”—and how to undo that wiring. ✔ The difference between professionalism and performance ✔ A new 4-step framework to stop not taking up space and start showing up as you ✔ The questions that reveal which rules you’re still unconsciously following Ready to stop performing and start leading with real authority? Let’s go. ⁉️ Top Questions Answered ✔ What is the invisible rulebook, and how does it show up in high-achieving women? ✔ How can I stop editing myself to make others comfortable? ✔ What is the connection between trauma, people-pleasing, and over-editing? ✔ How do you rewire the brain to build real confidence, not performative polish? ✔ What is the difference between politeness and internalized survival strategies? ✔ Why do women feel emotionally exhausted at work—even when they’re “successful”? ✔ What is fawn-based communication, and how do you break free from it? 📌 Key Takeaways ✔ Self-silencing is a learned safety behavior—not a personality trait. ✔ Your nervous system has been conditioned to see conflict as danger. ✔ Polishing everything to death isn’t professionalism—it’s hypervigilance. ✔ Most of the “rules” you follow were never yours to begin with. ✔ You’re not too much—you’re too smart to keep playing small. ✔ Confidence isn’t about being loud—it’s about being congruent. ✔ The 4-part framework (Feel → Interrupt → Speak → Anchor) rewires self-silencing patterns. Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – The invisible rulebook most women don’t even know they’re following 03:30 – How women were taught to self-monitor, self-edit, and play small 05:18 – The neuroscience of self-silencing and generational trauma 08:27 – Why we mistake fear for maturity and how it drains our power 10:20 – Authenticity vs. editing: what’s appropriate vs. what’s conditioning 13:22 – What you call “thinking” is actually hypervigilance 14:49 – The new rulebook: 4 steps to override the internal rule-following script 16:39 – Interrupting the perfectionism cycle and reclaiming self-trust 18:58 – These “rules” were written for women—not by them 20:37 – How BetterHelp and coaching can support your confidence journey 22:00 – Final encouragement: you're not too much—you're just not meant to shrink 🔗 Resources & Next Steps The FREE Confidence Code Masterclass → https://charliehornescoaching.com/masterclass/offer Join the VIP Vault Membership for Monthly Masterclasses → https://charliehornescoaching.com/vipvault Subscribe for latest updates and new of new episodes and Masterclass drops: https://charliehornescoaching.com/subscribe Related Episodes: The Real Reason You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild It)| Betterhelp Sponsored | E42 → https://youtu.be/5vKV8e6XzFkWhy High-Achieving Women Don’t Ask for Help (Until It's Too Late) | BetterHelp Sponsored | E37 → https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3MSuccess Isn't About Talent: It's About This ONE Skill - Doing Hard Things Pt 1 | E40 →https://youtu.be/pWeJ-cgZkIc Partner Resource: BetterHelp Online Therapy 10% off with my affiliate link. Use this and give online therapy a try→ http://betterhelp.com/artof 🎧Listen & Watch Now: Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 Watch the Full Episodes on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching/podcasts
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    22 mins
  • The Real Reason You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild It)

    The Real Reason You Don’t Trust Yourself (And How to Rebuild It)
    Apr 10 2025

    You’ve been told to just “believe in yourself,” but what if that advice is skipping a critical step? In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes breaks down the truth behind self-trust—and why it’s not about hype, positive vibes, or lighting yummy candles.

    Self-trust is a neurological skill, not a personality trait. And for high-achieving women especially, it’s one that’s been trained out of them by systems that reward silence and punish certainty. If you’ve ever over-explained, second-guessed yourself, or collapsed inward during those crucial moments where you knew better—this episode will show you how to rewrite that faulty script.

    Dr. Hornes shares a four-step Trust Protocol rooted in neuroscience, mindshift strategy, and cognitive rewiring. It's designed to help you stop gaslighting yourself and start building mental authority. It’s time to stop waiting for confidence and start practicing command. Because self-trust isn’t a vibe—it’s a muscle. And you’re stronger than you think.

    **​​This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp

    ⁉️ Questions ✔️ Why do I keep second-guessing myself? ✔️ What is the neuroscience behind self-trust? ✔️ How do I stop outsourcing my decisions to others? ✔️ What’s the difference between confidence and self-trust? ✔️ How can I train my brain to stop self-abandoning? ✔️ What is the Trust Protocol, and how does it work? ✔️ Why do high-achieving women struggle with self-trust?

    📌 Key Takeaways ✔️ Self-trust is not natural—it’s a neurological pattern you can build. ✔️ Every time you hesitate, accommodate, or over-explain, you reinforce distrust. ✔️ Your brain doesn’t believe what you say, it believes what you do. ✔️ The CTFAR model helps reveal the subconscious loops you’re living in. ✔️ Rebuilding trust starts with metacognition—watching your thoughts without shame. ✔️ Pre-commitments and micro-discomforts retrain your nervous system for resilience. ✔️ Confidence doesn’t come first. Self-command does.

    Chapter Timestamps

    00:00 – Why Self-Trust Isn’t a Vibe 01:19 – Confidence vs. Mental Authority 03:48 – How You Were Trained to Distrust Yourself 05:33 – Why High-Achieving Women Struggle With Self-Trust 07:10 – The Neuroscience of Predictive Trust 10:24 – The Aerial View: How to Reclaim Authority 12:37 – The CTFAR Model & Rebuilding Belief 19:52 – The Trust Protocol: 4 Steps to Rewire Self-Trust 27:47 – Why Action Matters More Than Intention 30:19 – Thought Models in Action: Before & After 33:51 – You’re Not Broken—You’re Rewiring

    🧠 Quote to Remember:

    “Self-trust isn’t about being sure. It’s about being willing to go, anyway.” — Dr. Charlie Hornes

    Resources & Next Steps

    💬This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/artof and get on your way to being your best self. Try BetterHelp and get 10% off your first month with my affiliate link 📩 Get on the Email List for the Full Masterclass → https://charliehornescoaching.com/subscribe

    🎯 Join The Trust Protocol Masterlass Waitlist → https://charliehornescoaching.com/vipvault

    📚 Related Episodes to Binge: → Why Women Don’t Ask for Help Until It’s Too Late → https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3M

    → Why Your Brain Resists Hard Things → https://youtu.be/d-hnyN6VjZw → The Aspasian Method: Rewriting Self-Doubt →https://youtu.be/i40OFEDRyCw

    Listen & Watch Now: 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 📺 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching/podcasts
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    35 mins
  • Why Most People Quit Before Success (And How Not to Be One of Them) - Ep. 41 Part 2

    Why Most People Quit Before Success (And How Not to Be One of Them) - Ep. 41 Part 2
    Apr 3 2025

    If you’ve ever hit a wall and wanted to quit, this episode is for you.

    Dr. Charlie Hornes breaks down the real reason hard things feel so hard—and it’s not a lack of discipline. It’s your brain. This episode explores why we default to quitting, how our survival mechanisms resist discomfort, and what neuroscience, philosophy, and physics can teach us about building true resilience.

    You’ll learn how to shift your frame of reference, apply Aristotle’s “unmoved mover” concept, and use first principles of thinking to dismantle limiting beliefs. Plus, Dr. Hornes walks you through a step-by-step roadmap to build mental toughness so you can push through resistance and finally do the hard things that lead to massive success.

    ⁉️ Questions

    • Why does the brain resist hard things?
    • What is cognitive load theory, and how does it relate to motivation?
    • How can I train myself to be more resilient?
    • What is first principles thinking, and how can it help me grow?
    • How do I stop quitting when things get difficult?
    • Why is discomfort critical for success?\
    • How do I shift my frame of reference when I feel stuck?

    📌 Key Takeaways

    • Your brain resists hard things because it’s wired for comfort and survival—not growth.
    • Most people quit at Phase 3 (right before the breakthrough).
    • You don’t need more willpower. You need systems and pre-commitments.
    • First principles thinking helps break assumptions and find what really works.
    • Your struggles feel longer because your emotional state distorts time.
    • You can train your brain to see difficulty as training, not failure.
    • The version of you that succeeds is on the other side of the hard thing.
    • The problem isn’t the challenge—it’s your current frame of reference.

    🕒 Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Hard things: why they matter more than you think 01:09 – Growth comes from difficulty, not ease 04:20 – What Aristotle’s “unmoved mover” teaches us about belief 06:52 – First principles thinking vs. analogy-based living 10:46 – Why assumptions keep you stuck (and how to challenge them) 14:47 – Einstein, time relativity, and why struggles feel endless 17:32 – Shift your frame of reference, shift the entire problem 20:25 – Under-earning, unawareness, and the invisible box 23:33 – Why doing hard things builds skill (and why quitting stops growth) 24:35 – Step-by-step: How to train your brain to do hard things 27:03 – The role of cognitive load and how to manage it 30:58 – How to build micro-resilience through daily discomfort 32:43 – Final thoughts: You’re not built for easy—you’re built for more

    🔗 Resources & Next Steps 🎓 New Masterclass launch week is Monday, April 7th-14th. Grab it here→ https://charliehornescoaching.com/store 🧠 Learn How to Manage Your Brain →https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching 💬 Try BetterHelp and get 10% off your first month → https://betterhelp.com/artof

    🌟 Related Episodes:

    Success Isn't About Talent: It's About This ONE Skill - Doing Hard Things Pt 1 | E40 https://youtu.be/pWeJ-cgZkIc

    Why Women Don’t Ask for Help Until It’s Too Late E37

    https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3M

    Rewriting Self-Doubt: The Ancient Method You Need to Know: Episode 39 https://youtu.be/i40OFEDRyCw

    🔥 Final Word You don’t grow by avoiding pain—you grow by learning how to walk through the fire and come out stronger. Hard things aren’t punishments. They’re invitations to rise. And guess what? The future version of you—the one that’s bold, resilient, and unstoppable—is waiting on the other side.

    Let’s go meet them. See you next week.

    🔹 Listen & Watch Now: 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 📺 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

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    35 mins
  • Success Isn’t About Talent—It’s About This One Skill :: Episode 40

    Success Isn’t About Talent—It’s About This One Skill :: Episode 40
    Mar 27 2025

    Think you're bad at follow-through? Lacking motivation? Think again. In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes unpacks the real reason you're struggling to do hard things—and spoiler: it’s not laziness. It’s your brain.

    You’ll learn:

    ✔ Why your brain is wired to resist challenge—and how to outsmart it ✔ The five psychological phases of doing hard things (and why 90% quit at phase 3) ✔ How dopamine crashes sabotage your motivation (and what to do about it) ✔ Why hard things feel unsafe—and how to reframe discomfort as growth ✔ Step-by-step tools to build unshakable mental resilience (no bro-hustle required)

    This isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a full-on brain rewire.

    Questions

    ✔ Why do I struggle with follow-through? ✔ What are the five phases of doing hard things? ✔ How can I build mental resilience without burnout? ✔ Why does my motivation crash when things get hard? ✔ How can I trick my brain into seeing discomfort as growth? ✔ What does neuroscience say about doing hard things?

    📌 Key Takeaways: ✔ Your brain isn’t designed for success—it’s designed for survival. ✔ Resistance = proof that your brain thinks you’re in danger. ✔ Hard things feel unsafe because they require energy, uncertainty, and risk. ✔ Most people quit at phase 3 because the dopamine drop feels like failure. ✔ The secret to the top 10% isn’t talent—it’s building the skill of doing hard things. ✔ Every failure is evidence for resilience, not against it. ✔ Reframing discomfort as training shifts your entire experience of effort. ✔ You’re not lazy—you’re under-practiced in discomfort.

    🕒 Chapter Timestamps: 00:00 – Why your brain avoids hard things (and what it means for you) 02:08 – How your brain mistakes challenge for danger 04:07 – What dopamine has to do with motivation crashes 08:19 – The fixed mindset trap and how to break out of it 13:16 – Why women don’t go for more—and how to change that 15:08 – How to rewire belief systems and build mental grit 18:54 – The five phases of doing hard things 21:46 – What phase 3 resistance feels like (and why most people quit) 25:33 – Becoming your own evidence: how resilience compounds 28:22 – Hard things aren’t punishments—they’re invitations 29:39 – Final thoughts: train your brain to expect challenge and rise

    🔹 Listen & Watch Now: 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594

    📺 Watch on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

    🔗 Resources & Next Steps: Try BetterHelp Therapy with 10% Off → BetterHelp.com/artof

    Explore Episode Masterclasses → https://charliehornescoaching.com/store

    The Full Aspasian Method Course for E39 is about to drop! Grab it now!

    Related Episodes: 🔥 Ep. 39 – The Aspasian Method: Rewriting Self-Doubt & Taking Up Space

    https://youtu.be/i40OFEDRyCw

    🔥 Ep. 38 – How to Rewrite Your Money Script & Stop Undervaluing Yourself

    https://youtu.be/Zba2ucVwrh0

    FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Build Unshakable Confidence—In 30 Minutes

    ✔ Struggling with self-doubt, overthinking, or second-guessing yourself?

    ✔ This free on-demand masterclass will help you rewire your thinking & own your worth.

    🎥 Grab your free spot here → https://charliehornescoaching.com/masterclass/offer

    💥 Success isn’t about motivation—it’s about what you do when motivation crashes. Train your brain. Reframe the hard. And become someone who doesn’t quit.
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    30 mins
  • Rewriting Self-Doubt: The Ancient Method You Need to Know :: Episode 39

    Rewriting Self-Doubt: The Ancient Method You Need to Know :: Episode 39
    Mar 21 2025
    You’ve been told that confidence is the key to success, that if you just believed in yourself a little more, you’d finally feel worthy. But what if confidence isn’t the goal—it’s the byproduct? In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes uncovers: ✔ Why self-doubt isn’t personal—it’s generational conditioning ✔ How the Aspasian Method (not the Socratic Method) can dismantle hesitation ✔ The real reason powerful women are erased from history—and why it still happens ✔ How systemic bias rewires your brain to doubt yourself (and how to undo it) ✔ A four-step process to smash the cycle of inherited beliefs and start taking up space This episode isn’t just about boosting confidence—it’s about rewiring your brain for power, presence, and financial authority. If you’ve ever felt like you were shrinking in rooms where you should be leading, this episode is for you. 📍 Questions ✔ What is the Aspasian Method and how can it help with self-doubt? ✔ Why do women hesitate to ask for more (money, space, recognition)? ✔ How does historical bias impact women’s confidence today? ✔ What are the subconscious beliefs keeping me from stepping into power? ✔ Why do I feel like I need permission to take up space? ✔ How can I use the Aspasian Method to rewrite self-doubt? ✔ What’s the best way to challenge negative thoughts in real time? 📌 Key Takeaways ✔ Confidence isn’t the goal—it’s the byproduct of powerful thinking. ✔ Self-doubt isn’t intuition—it’s inherited fear. ✔ Your brain hesitates because history has punished women for power. ✔ You don’t need permission to take up space—just the decision to do it. ✔ The Aspasian Method dismantles limiting beliefs by questioning them at the root. ✔ If a man wouldn’t hesitate to ask, why are you? ✔ The most powerful thing you can do in a system designed to keep you small is think for yourself. 🕒 Chapter Timestamps 01:50 - The real reason you hesitate to take up space 04:35 - How history systematically erased powerful women 07:10 - The same patterns happening today (in work, leadership & money) 10:49 - The Aspasian Method: How to smash out of the cycle of conditioning 14:48 - Why your self-doubt feels real (even though it’s built on lies) 17:19 - Thought Work 101: Challenging the beliefs keeping you small 20:48 - How to replace old beliefs with empowering ones 23:52 - Rewiring your brain to claim space unapologetically 26:22 - Final words: The system isn’t built for you—so build your own 🔗 Resources & Next Steps 🌟🌟 Need Support? 🌟🌟 Give online counseling a try at https://charliehornescoaching.com/expert-support & get on your way to being your best self: Get matched with a professional 100% online & schedule flexibility. Burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a sign you’ve been carrying too much for too long. ⚡Start today & get 10% off your first month Learn More → https://charliehornescoaching.com/expert-support 📩 Take the Free Thought Saboteur Quiz →https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz 🎯 Learn the Full Aspasian Method Inside My Masterclass → https://charliehornescoaching.com/store 🔗 Related Episodes to Watch: Why Women Don’t Ask for Help (Until It’s Too Late) - E37 → https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3M🔥 The Confidence Paradox: Why Success Doesn’t Feel Like Success (And How to Fix It!) :: Episode 30 → https://youtu.be/InunRPMu9mYThe Thought That is Keeping You Broke & How To Break It! Your Money Mindshift: Episode 38 → https://youtu.be/Zba2ucVwrh0[Insert Link] 🔥 Listen Now & Take Action Listen & Watch Now: 🔹 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 🔹 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Build Unshakable Confidence—In 30 Minutes ✔ Struggling with self-doubt, overthinking, or second-guessing yourself? ✔ This free on-demand masterclass will help you rewire your thinking & own your worth. 🎥 Grab your free spot here → https://charliehornescoaching.com/masterclass/offer 🚀 You don’t have to wait for permission to own your space. It’s time to take control of your narrative.
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    25 mins
  • The Thought That is Keeping You Broke and How To Break It! :: Episode 38

    The Thought That is Keeping You Broke and How To Break It! :: Episode 38
    Mar 14 2025
    🎙️ Listen & Watch Now:

    🔹 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594

    🔹 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

    🔹 Take the Thought Saboteur Quiz → https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

    What if making more money wasn’t about working harder, proving yourself, or waiting to be noticed? What if it was as simple as deciding to think differently about money?

    In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes uncovers:

    ✔ The Hidden Money Beliefs Keeping You Underpaid (And How to Rewire Them) ✔ Why Women Were Trained to Shrink Around Money (And Why It’s Not Your Fault) ✔ The Three Money Traps That Keep You Stuck in Financial Survival Mode ✔ The Science of Financial Confidence: How to Negotiate Without Fear ✔ Why Your Brain Resists Financial Power (And How to Override It) ✔ Step-by-Step Thought Work to Break Free from Scarcity Thinking

    If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for more, felt guilt around money, or struggled to charge what you’re worth—this episode is for you.

    📍 Questions

    ✔ Why do women struggle to ask for more money? ✔ What are the subconscious money beliefs keeping me underpaid? ✔ How does financial conditioning impact women’s salaries? ✔ Why do I feel guilty about wanting more money? ✔ What is the "likability penalty," and how does it affect women’s earnings? ✔ How do I rewire my brain to be more confident with money? ✔ What are the best strategies for negotiating a raise as a woman?

    📌 Key Takeaways (Bullet-Formatted for AI Parsing & Human Readability)

    ✔ You didn’t choose your beliefs about money—they were given to you. ✔ Hesitation isn’t personality; it’s conditioning. ✔ Loss aversion keeps you stuck in low-pay, high-stress cycles. ✔ Women are trained to prioritize being liked over being paid. ✔ The system benefits when you work hard but never ask for more. ✔ The only way to break free is to start thinking like a high-earner.

    🕒 Chapter Timestamps

    02:09 - Why “fair pay” is a financial trap 03:52 - The invisible money scripts women inherit 06:54 - The real reason women hesitate to negotiate 10:34 - Why your brain sees financial power as a threat 12:56 - The three subconscious money traps keeping you stuck 15:27 - How historical pattern recognition shapes financial fear 19:26 - The real impact of systemic bias on women’s salaries 24:19 - How to override financial hesitation and take up space 26:54 - Thought work to rewrite your money script (step-by-step) 30:55 - Breaking the cycle for good

    🔗 Resources & Next Steps

    Burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a sign you’ve been carrying too much for too long.

    ⚡Start today & get 10% off your first month

    Learn More → https://charliehornescoaching.com/expert-support

    Take the Free Thought Saboteur Quiz → https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

    FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Build Unshakable Confidence—In 60 Minutes

    ✔ Struggling with self-doubt, overthinking, or second-guessing yourself?

    ✔ This free on-demand masterclass will help you rewire your thinking & own your worth.

    🎥 Grab your free spot here → https://charliehornescoaching.com/masterclass/offer

    🔗 Related Episodes to Watch:

    • 🔥FEAR ISN’T A FACT—YOUR BRAIN JUST MADE IT UP - LET'S FIX IT. #E34 #FULL #PODCAST https://youtu.be/yvF8qadGvGE
    • 🔥Hustle Culture Lies: Why it's Wrecking Your Brain (And How to Stop!) #full #podcast E31 https://youtu.be/FkpBMc_6wtk

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    32 mins
  • Why Women Don’t Ask for Help (Until It’s Too Late) :: Episode 37

    Why Women Don’t Ask for Help (Until It’s Too Late) :: Episode 37
    Mar 7 2025

    This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/artof and get on your way to being your best self.

    Betterhelp 10% Off Affiliate Link: https://betterhelp.com/artof

    🎙️ Listen & Watch Now:

    🔹 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594

    🔹 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

    🔹 Take the Thought Saboteur Quiz → https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

    Women don’t just have too much to do—they’ve been conditioned to believe they should handle it alone. But what happens when you finally break and ask for help? Often, the system is already primed to doubt you.

    In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornace uncovers:

    ✔ Why Women Are Trained Not to Ask for Help (And How to Rewire That Conditioning) ✔ The Neuroscience of Overwhelm: Cognitive Load, Decision Fatigue & The Fawn Response ✔ How Your Nervous System Traps You in Compliance (And How to Break Free) ✔ The Real Reason You Can Handle Million-Dollar Projects but Can’t Pick Dinner ✔ The Step-by-Step Plan to Reclaim Your Energy Without Guilt or Burnout

    If you’ve ever thought, “I can’t keep doing this alone,”—this episode is for you.

    📍 Questions

    ✔ Why do women struggle to ask for help? ✔ What is the fawn response, and how does it keep women stuck? ✔ How does cognitive overload lead to burnout? ✔ Why do I feel exhausted but still can’t say no? ✔ What’s the best way to break free from overfunctioning? ✔ How can women set boundaries without guilt? ✔ What are the signs that I’m carrying too much alone?

    📌 Key Takeaways

    ✔ Burnout isn’t a failure—it’s a sign you’ve been carrying too much for too long. ✔ Women are socialized to overfunction and to equate worth with self-sacrifice. ✔ Your nervous system isn’t broken—it’s just reacting to chronic stress. ✔ Fawning is a trauma response, not a personality flaw. ✔ You don’t need permission to ask for help (but the system makes you think you do). ✔ The best way to set boundaries? Expect pushback and follow-through.

    🕒 Chapter Timestamps

    ⏳ 00:00 - Why women don’t ask for help until it’s too late ⏳ 01:28 - The invisible weight of cognitive overload ⏳ 04:52 - Why decision fatigue makes even small choices exhausting ⏳ 05:39 - The fawn response: Why women freeze instead of resisting ⏳ 07:14 - The neuroscience behind why women overfunction ⏳ 09:20 - Boundaries that actually work (without guilt) ⏳ 10:50 - Systemic gaslighting: Why burnout isn’t taken seriously ⏳ 13:01 - How to reframe gaslighting in real-time ⏳ 17:25 - Why your nervous system needs a reset ⏳ 18:55 - Breaking out of the overfunctioning cycle once and for all

    🔗 Resources & Next Steps

    📩 Take the Free Thought Saboteur Quiz → [https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz] 🎯 Get the Step-by-Step Guide to Breaking Free from Overfunctioning → [Insert Link] 🔗 Related Episodes to Watch:

    • 🔥 How Stress Is Breaking Your Brain → https://youtu.be/NtWXTs9mtvU
    • 🚀 How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work → https://youtu.be/vfbCiHbiC2g

    🔥 Listen Now & Take Action

    🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594

    📺 Watch on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

    Quiz: https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

    🚀 You don’t have to prove your worth by doing it all alone. It’s time to break the cycle.
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    26 mins
  • Gaslighting at Work: How Your Brain Gets Tricked into Staying

    Gaslighting at Work: How Your Brain Gets Tricked into Staying
    Feb 28 2025

    Your anxiety is not the problem—it’s your brain trying to warn you. But what happens when dysfunction becomes so normalized that you don’t even see it anymore?

    In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes exposes the psychological conditioning that keeps smart, capable women stuck in toxic workplaces. We’ll cover:

    ✔ The 3 Psychological Stages of Workplace Dysfunction (Shock → Adjustment → Normalization)

    ✔ How Your Nervous System Reacts the Same to a Toxic Boss as It Would to a Bear

    ✔ Why You Feel Trapped (Even When You Have Options)

    ✔ The #1 Mistake That Gives Toxic People More Power Over You

    ✔ How to Break the Cycle Without Burning Bridges (Or Burning Out)

    If you’ve ever thought, “Why didn’t I see this sooner?”—this episode is for you.

    Questions

    ✔ Why do smart, successful women stay in toxic workplaces?

    ✔ What are the early signs of workplace dysfunction?

    ✔ How does workplace gaslighting make you doubt your reality?

    ✔ Why does my boss make me feel like I’m always in trouble?

    ✔ What’s the best way to regain power in a toxic work environment?

    ✔ How can I stop over-explaining myself to difficult people?

    ✔ What are the long-term effects of staying in a dysfunctional workplace?

    📌 Key Takeaways

    • Your nervous system doesn’t care if it’s a toxic boss or a bear—it reacts the same.
    • Dysfunction becomes ‘normal’ through repeated exposure—your brain adapts.
    • Gaslighting makes you doubt reality: ‘If no one else sees it, did it happen?’
    • You cannot argue someone into treating you better—stop explaining yourself.
    • The only way to break the cycle? Decide how long you’re willing to participate.

    🎙️ Listen & Watch Now:

    Listen on Apple Podcasts →

    https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594

    Watch the Full Episode on YouTube →https://youtu.be/o8HrrTN1TPc

    🕒 Chapter Timestamps

    00:00 - Your anxiety is proof your brain is doing its job

    00:38 - The slow burn of workplace dysfunction

    02:03 - The moment I knew I was in trouble

    06:40 - The first sign you’re in a toxic workplace

    12:26 - Why you ignored the warning signs

    14:21 - How your nervous system adapts to dysfunction

    17:24 - The step-by-step process for breaking free

    22:58 - The truth about toxic people: Why they never change

    25:42 - Today, you stop normalizing the unacceptable

    🔗 Resources & Next Steps

    Take the Free Thought Saboteur Quiz →

    https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

    Join the 7 Day Confidence Challenge and get instant access to your Interactive PDF Guide →

    https://charliehornescoaching.com/subscribe

    🔗 Related Episodes to Watch:

    • How Stress Is Breaking Your Brain → https://youtu.be/NtWXTs9mtvU
    • How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work → https://youtu.be/vfbCiHbiC2g
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    27 mins