You’ve been told to just “believe in yourself,” but what if that advice is skipping a critical step? In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes breaks down the truth behind self-trust—and why it’s not about hype, positive vibes, or lighting yummy candles.

Self-trust is a neurological skill, not a personality trait. And for high-achieving women especially, it’s one that’s been trained out of them by systems that reward silence and punish certainty. If you’ve ever over-explained, second-guessed yourself, or collapsed inward during those crucial moments where you knew better—this episode will show you how to rewrite that faulty script.

Dr. Hornes shares a four-step Trust Protocol rooted in neuroscience, mindshift strategy, and cognitive rewiring. It's designed to help you stop gaslighting yourself and start building mental authority. It’s time to stop waiting for confidence and start practicing command. Because self-trust isn’t a vibe—it’s a muscle. And you’re stronger than you think.

**​​This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp

⁉️ Questions ✔️ Why do I keep second-guessing myself? ✔️ What is the neuroscience behind self-trust? ✔️ How do I stop outsourcing my decisions to others? ✔️ What’s the difference between confidence and self-trust? ✔️ How can I train my brain to stop self-abandoning? ✔️ What is the Trust Protocol, and how does it work? ✔️ Why do high-achieving women struggle with self-trust?

📌 Key Takeaways ✔️ Self-trust is not natural—it’s a neurological pattern you can build. ✔️ Every time you hesitate, accommodate, or over-explain, you reinforce distrust. ✔️ Your brain doesn’t believe what you say, it believes what you do. ✔️ The CTFAR model helps reveal the subconscious loops you’re living in. ✔️ Rebuilding trust starts with metacognition—watching your thoughts without shame. ✔️ Pre-commitments and micro-discomforts retrain your nervous system for resilience. ✔️ Confidence doesn’t come first. Self-command does.

Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – Why Self-Trust Isn’t a Vibe 01:19 – Confidence vs. Mental Authority 03:48 – How You Were Trained to Distrust Yourself 05:33 – Why High-Achieving Women Struggle With Self-Trust 07:10 – The Neuroscience of Predictive Trust 10:24 – The Aerial View: How to Reclaim Authority 12:37 – The CTFAR Model & Rebuilding Belief 19:52 – The Trust Protocol: 4 Steps to Rewire Self-Trust 27:47 – Why Action Matters More Than Intention 30:19 – Thought Models in Action: Before & After 33:51 – You’re Not Broken—You’re Rewiring

🧠 Quote to Remember:

“Self-trust isn’t about being sure. It’s about being willing to go, anyway.” — Dr. Charlie Hornes

Resources & Next Steps

💬This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/artof and get on your way to being your best self. Try BetterHelp and get 10% off your first month with my affiliate link 📩 Get on the Email List for the Full Masterclass → https://charliehornescoaching.com/subscribe

🎯 Join The Trust Protocol Masterlass Waitlist → https://charliehornescoaching.com/vipvault

📚 Related Episodes to Binge: → Why Women Don’t Ask for Help Until It’s Too Late → https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3M

→ Why Your Brain Resists Hard Things → https://youtu.be/d-hnyN6VjZw → The Aspasian Method: Rewriting Self-Doubt →https://youtu.be/i40OFEDRyCw

Listen & Watch Now: 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 📺 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching/podcasts

If you’ve ever hit a wall and wanted to quit, this episode is for you.

Dr. Charlie Hornes breaks down the real reason hard things feel so hard—and it’s not a lack of discipline. It’s your brain. This episode explores why we default to quitting, how our survival mechanisms resist discomfort, and what neuroscience, philosophy, and physics can teach us about building true resilience.

You’ll learn how to shift your frame of reference, apply Aristotle’s “unmoved mover” concept, and use first principles of thinking to dismantle limiting beliefs. Plus, Dr. Hornes walks you through a step-by-step roadmap to build mental toughness so you can push through resistance and finally do the hard things that lead to massive success.

⁉️ Questions

• Why does the brain resist hard things?
• What is cognitive load theory, and how does it relate to motivation?
• How can I train myself to be more resilient?
• What is first principles thinking, and how can it help me grow?
• How do I stop quitting when things get difficult?
• Why is discomfort critical for success?\
• How do I shift my frame of reference when I feel stuck?

📌 Key Takeaways

• Your brain resists hard things because it’s wired for comfort and survival—not growth.
• Most people quit at Phase 3 (right before the breakthrough).
• You don’t need more willpower. You need systems and pre-commitments.
• First principles thinking helps break assumptions and find what really works.
• Your struggles feel longer because your emotional state distorts time.
• You can train your brain to see difficulty as training, not failure.
• The version of you that succeeds is on the other side of the hard thing.
• The problem isn’t the challenge—it’s your current frame of reference.

🕒 Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Hard things: why they matter more than you think 01:09 – Growth comes from difficulty, not ease 04:20 – What Aristotle’s “unmoved mover” teaches us about belief 06:52 – First principles thinking vs. analogy-based living 10:46 – Why assumptions keep you stuck (and how to challenge them) 14:47 – Einstein, time relativity, and why struggles feel endless 17:32 – Shift your frame of reference, shift the entire problem 20:25 – Under-earning, unawareness, and the invisible box 23:33 – Why doing hard things builds skill (and why quitting stops growth) 24:35 – Step-by-step: How to train your brain to do hard things 27:03 – The role of cognitive load and how to manage it 30:58 – How to build micro-resilience through daily discomfort 32:43 – Final thoughts: You’re not built for easy—you’re built for more

🔗 Resources & Next Steps 🎓 New Masterclass launch week is Monday, April 7th-14th. Grab it here→ https://charliehornescoaching.com/store 🧠 Learn How to Manage Your Brain →https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching 💬 Try BetterHelp and get 10% off your first month → https://betterhelp.com/artof

🌟 Related Episodes:

Success Isn't About Talent: It's About This ONE Skill - Doing Hard Things Pt 1 | E40 https://youtu.be/pWeJ-cgZkIc

Why Women Don’t Ask for Help Until It’s Too Late E37

https://youtu.be/fOxpwdqOh3M

Rewriting Self-Doubt: The Ancient Method You Need to Know: Episode 39 https://youtu.be/i40OFEDRyCw

🔥 Final Word You don’t grow by avoiding pain—you grow by learning how to walk through the fire and come out stronger. Hard things aren’t punishments. They’re invitations to rise. And guess what? The future version of you—the one that’s bold, resilient, and unstoppable—is waiting on the other side.

Let’s go meet them. See you next week.

🔹 Listen & Watch Now: 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594 📺 Watch the Full Episode on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

Think you're bad at follow-through? Lacking motivation? Think again. In this episode, Dr. Charlie Hornes unpacks the real reason you're struggling to do hard things—and spoiler: it’s not laziness. It’s your brain.

You’ll learn:

✔ Why your brain is wired to resist challenge—and how to outsmart it ✔ The five psychological phases of doing hard things (and why 90% quit at phase 3) ✔ How dopamine crashes sabotage your motivation (and what to do about it) ✔ Why hard things feel unsafe—and how to reframe discomfort as growth ✔ Step-by-step tools to build unshakable mental resilience (no bro-hustle required)

This isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a full-on brain rewire.

Questions

✔ Why do I struggle with follow-through? ✔ What are the five phases of doing hard things? ✔ How can I build mental resilience without burnout? ✔ Why does my motivation crash when things get hard? ✔ How can I trick my brain into seeing discomfort as growth? ✔ What does neuroscience say about doing hard things?

📌 Key Takeaways: ✔ Your brain isn’t designed for success—it’s designed for survival. ✔ Resistance = proof that your brain thinks you’re in danger. ✔ Hard things feel unsafe because they require energy, uncertainty, and risk. ✔ Most people quit at phase 3 because the dopamine drop feels like failure. ✔ The secret to the top 10% isn’t talent—it’s building the skill of doing hard things. ✔ Every failure is evidence for resilience, not against it. ✔ Reframing discomfort as training shifts your entire experience of effort. ✔ You’re not lazy—you’re under-practiced in discomfort.

🕒 Chapter Timestamps: 00:00 – Why your brain avoids hard things (and what it means for you) 02:08 – How your brain mistakes challenge for danger 04:07 – What dopamine has to do with motivation crashes 08:19 – The fixed mindset trap and how to break out of it 13:16 – Why women don’t go for more—and how to change that 15:08 – How to rewire belief systems and build mental grit 18:54 – The five phases of doing hard things 21:46 – What phase 3 resistance feels like (and why most people quit) 25:33 – Becoming your own evidence: how resilience compounds 28:22 – Hard things aren’t punishments—they’re invitations 29:39 – Final thoughts: train your brain to expect challenge and rise

🔹 Listen & Watch Now: 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-managing-your-brain-science-backed-mindshift-tools-for-women/id1750638594

📺 Watch on YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@charliehornescoaching

🔗 Resources & Next Steps: Try BetterHelp Therapy with 10% Off → BetterHelp.com/artof

Explore Episode Masterclasses → https://charliehornescoaching.com/store

The Full Aspasian Method Course for E39 is about to drop! Grab it now!

Related Episodes: 🔥 Ep. 39 – The Aspasian Method: Rewriting Self-Doubt & Taking Up Space

https://youtu.be/i40OFEDRyCw

🔥 Ep. 38 – How to Rewrite Your Money Script & Stop Undervaluing Yourself

https://youtu.be/Zba2ucVwrh0

FREE MASTERCLASS: How to Build Unshakable Confidence—In 30 Minutes

✔ Struggling with self-doubt, overthinking, or second-guessing yourself?

✔ This free on-demand masterclass will help you rewire your thinking & own your worth.

🎥 Grab your free spot here → https://charliehornescoaching.com/masterclass/offer

💥 Success isn’t about motivation—it’s about what you do when motivation crashes. Train your brain. Reframe the hard. And become someone who doesn’t quit.