• Permission to be Powerful Podcast

  • By: Anton
  • Podcast

Permission to be Powerful Podcast

By: Anton
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  • Summary

  • “Permission to Be Powerful” is your battle cry for breaking free from self-doubt, reclaiming your voice, and living life unapologetically on your terms.

    www.antonvolney.com
    Team Healthy LLC
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Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology
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Episodes
  • How I Took Back My Power

    How I Took Back My Power
    Mar 1 2025
    Growing up, I was bombarded with the message that I was supposed to do what I was told…Bow to authority.From watching my mother stay in a relationship long past its expiration date.From watching her complain endlessly about him without seemingly doing anything about it.From living in a home with a tyrannical father. That oppressive energy left its mark.I never received the required love and validation to become a healthy adult. Bad role models surrounded me. There are so many reasons I could explain how I became this way. I could spend all day just itemizing all of that.Long story short, I was raised to become a doormat.I Call This Version of Myself The ChauffeurThis was because I was reduced to becoming my ex-wife’s chauffeur for many years. I had to become very used to a certain kind of oppression to feel at home in it for so many years.It’s so funny. After I broke up with her, my ex acted like she tried to salvage our relationship. That’s certainly not what I saw. I saw a person with an addiction who felt threatened that someone was going to take away her favorite drug — control. My ex could not function without a truly extreme amount of control over the people around her.There were reasons why I went along with it. Trying to peel back all of the layers to explain my dysfunctional relationship is complex. The whole dynamic was so absurd. And my ex-wife refused to respect my version of reality, so there wasn’t much I could do about her.For my whole life, I have always had low self-esteem. I see it so much more clearly now. I was so comfortable playing the supporting role. I was so comfortable giving and giving. And so uncomfortable receiving.Being the chauffeur was a massive insight that I gained in therapy. It truly changed the game. Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. I looked at my entire life through this chauffeur lens. There was chauffeuring in everything in my life.I took on a career as a freelance copywriter. It’s taken me many years to feel deserving of a decent income. You’re willing to work for peanuts and false promises when you believe you’re nothing. My entire business model hinged on me playing a supporting role for other people’s businesses. And, in that dynamic, the client was like God. They had all the power. All the control.In the early days, I jumped through so many hoops for my clients that it was ridiculous. I could spend hours painting this dynamic. I’m thinking about one 3 a.m. call I once had with Neil Patel. Yikes. Indeed, I was willing to compromise my values for a buck at a moment’s notice.Why on earth would somebody even ask for a call at that hour? More importantly, why would I agree?I Grew Up in an Unfair HouseholdMy father controlled us like puppets, and there were severe consequences for stepping out of line. Meanwhile, he got away with murder.Remarkably, the brain can be attracted to the familiar. Never forget that. Let’s say you grew up in a loveless environment. In a place where people invalidated your feelings constantly…Twenty-five years later, I’m still turning my nose up at anybody who likes me, but the person who doesn’t like me—the emotionally unavailable one. The ones who won’t give me their approval — they’re the ones I want.I don’t even realize that those are the people I’m obsessing over. But I’m blind to all of the secure, healthy people. They’re not even on my radar.I think about the girl I dated most recently and a new love interest I have. I wonder what kind of man I must be to attract these healthy, beautiful, successful women… That person is so far from the person I’ve been all my life. I have been repelled by people with those healthy traits all these years.It’s wild.Sometimes, I think… I can’t believe I’ve pursued women’s approval my whole life. Like… I told this girl I have a “friends first” dating policy. And her eyes lit up. I’d never put up a boundary like that. Not ever?I’ve always wanted to pursue intimacy as fast as possible. There was no stopping to evaluate. There was no selectivity whatsoever. Even wondering if someone else likes you is a bridge too far. It’s backward. It’s always about how you feel about them.NEVER let a person define youNever let them say they know what you’re thinking or feeling. Run. Nobody has the right to represent you. This is a significant boundary violation, and it’s also catastrophic for your mental health and well-being.I’m re-reading Controlling People by Patricia Evans right now. And, funny enough, this isn’t the first issue I would think to discuss when talking about a controlling person… But for the expert, this is it.This is the defining trait of all controlling people. Defining someone says, “I know what you’re thinking better than you.” Or, “I know what you’re feeling better than you.”Going along with this dynamic means gradually surrendering your identity to the other person. This is how you wake up one ...
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    12 mins
  • I Could Be Miserable -- Like The Rest of Them.

    I Could Be Miserable -- Like The Rest of Them.
    Feb 28 2025
    I’m really weird.Some would say crazy.I’m one of those people I keep talking about.I’m crazy, but I pass for normal.Or at least…I used to be.One would have to be crazy to be in the one-sided relationships I was in for as long as me.Let me clue you in on something:Sometimes, there are people who are emotionally dependent on others.They NEED other people to solve their problems.They EXPECT it.DEMAND it.And they’ve been this way a LONG time.The WHOLE time.And they’re expecting YOU to be THEIR savior.I noticed that they’re always so good at identifying new problems they want me to solve.And going to work rousing me into action.With claims of the great injustice committed against them.Only I can right that wrong.And you’re all wrapped in THEIR problems.Which seem to materialize like clockwork one after another.I can barely keep up.It’s ALMOST like they’re manufacturing new problems on a schedule.I haven’t found myself in a situation like that in a long time.However…When this was a common event, I was healed enough to see the manipulative behavior for what it was.It still drained the daylights out of me.People who drain me absolutely must go.I’m already exhausted as it is.That’s why the Zen Center is such a Godsend right now.It’s a healing space.It heals old wounds that most people have long forgotten.There was a time in my journey when my suffering was so acute it created a thirst for spiritual freedom.To be unburdened from all of this suffering.I can’t believe I manifested becoming a real Zen monk.That’s me living my dreams.But I’m getting carried away — this troublemaker in your life…I noticed something really eye-opening.Sometimes people are trying to enlist you to solve their problems…And you take note that there’s a crisis.A new problem someone wants to gift me.But if I stop and assess myself in that moment.I stop and ask…But wait… where in all of this chaos do I benefit?Do I get anything at all out of getting this new problem foisted on me?If I don’t benefit from playing rescue…Then I have no business being involved at all.That’s so weird.Problems are personal.Just because there are millions of people out there who are all too happy to have you fix their life…That doesn’t make it any less crazy.Accountable people tend to keep their problems to themselves.They’re not always trying to rope you into their drama.I made this particular mistake too many times.Too severely…To ever make this mistake again.I’ve had to work SO HARD to break the cycle of codependency.I kept attracting people who just took, and took, and took, until I was exhausted and depressed.Why was I so comfortable in that space?Because I’d been living this way my whole life.It was my norm.But why?Ah, yes.The answer to that question, some would rather you not know.Because it might force you to re-evaluate the people around you.It might make you see that you’re investing in people who don’t deserve you.Then what?Who likes being in that awkward place of having to confront reality…That could mean having to cut people out from your life.Talk about upsetting the applecart!Secrets keep you glued to trauma.Ignoring your better judgement…That’s a recipe for disaster.For me, that meant coming to terms with the reality that I was raced in an abusive home.This is not a reality that almost any of my family will admit to…But that doesn’t mean it’s not accurate.It doesn’t mean I don’t have to live with the effects of growing up in a place like that.Instintively, I knew something was wrong with my family.I wanted to be different.That thrust me onto the road less traveled.Filled with almost a decade of therapy.Thousands of books.Becoming a Buddhist.Confronting many demons.Ultimately, it led to me burning my whole life to the ground and starting over.It was a painful place to be.But undoubtedly worth it.After going my whole life abandoning myself...The joy of finally feeling self-love…I was hooked.Worth almost any price.Until next time,AntonDancer, Writer, Buddhist.Permission to be Powerful is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Permission to be Powerful at www.antonvolney.com/subscribe
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    5 mins
  • THE LAST ELECTION

    THE LAST ELECTION
    Feb 27 2025
    Luigi Mangione pressed his back against the damp alley wall…His breath short, controlled bursts.The air smelled of burning plastic…The scent of a city suffocating under its own corruption.Above him, a drone hovered, its infrared scanner sweeping the streets.The Board’s Enforcers had every corner of this city locked down.Facial recognition systems, neural ID trackers, AI-driven predictive policing—all designed to ensure men like him never made it this far.But he had.And tonight?Another billionaire was going to die.Luigi checked his pulse pistol. One charge left. Enough. He didn’t need firepower—he needed precision.Across the street, a penthouse loomed above the city like a golden fortress. High above the slums, untouchable. That’s what The Board always thought. That’s what they all believed.They thought money was power.They thought the system would keep them safe.They were wrong.A name burned in Luigi’s mind.His next target…Elon Musk.First, Elon Musk bought Twitter.And ran it into the ground.Then, he bought the presidency.Not with votes. With money.Like he was buying another sports car.And he used his limitless wealth to dismantle the federal government…While he lined his pockets.While he destroyed democracy.While the people sat—Helpless.Powerless.Hopeless.Or so they thought.They say to have an abundant mindset.They say, don’t hate the player, hate the game.But when the game is rigged from the start?When one man can buy a nation’s future?When a handful of billionaires decide who lives and who dies?It was a strong argument for the guillotine.Nobody should be powerful enough to buy the presidency.To Trojan Horse themselves into power.To put their interests above an entire nation.And this motherfucker wasn’t even American.SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?It was years before the torches came out.Before we made guillotines great again.Elon MuskNet worth: $1.9 trillion.Official title: Chairman of The Board.Unofficial title: The Man Who Killed America.Mangione had studied Musk’s financials like a hitman.He knew where his money came from.Where he funneled it.Where he spent his nights.And tonight, Musk was at his penthouse, guarded by a dozen Enforcers.The year was 2036, and democracy was a memory.The resistance wasn’t an army. It wasn’t a movement.It was a single name, whispered in the dark, scrawled on walls, passed from one desperate hand to another.Luigi Mangione.Everyone knew who he was.Everyone knew what he did.And everyone knew he found… The List.Rumors of a document so powerful it could bring down The Board in a single day.Some said the names on that list were identical to those on Jeffrey Epstein’s flight logs.If only Trump had released The Epstein List like he said he would.Twenty thousand executive orders in four years…But the most important one stayed buried.Why?Because the list was a who’s who of global power.The men who dictated the markets.The men who controlled the wars.The men who owned the police.The men who never, ever got caught.The law didn’t touch them.One day, the truth came out—Donald Trump had been bought and paid for.By the Saudis.By the Russians.By everyone.Let’s not forget:Trump went bankrupt multiple times.And bankrupt men are always desperate.The perfect pawn for those with real power.ABOVE THE LAWBack then, people thought the rich couldn’t hide under public scrutiny.That nobody was powerful enough to assassinate a billionaire in federal custody—And get away with it…Without anyone even asking questions.I used to joke that the rich hunted people for sport.But later… we found out it was true.Makes sense.It was no less outlandish than a child sex-trafficking cult run by the world’s elite.The Board denied its existence. The Enforcers executed anyone who dared to search for it.Then, one day, the list surfaced—and so did Luigi Mangione.A nobody.Mangione didn’t just escape prison.He found The List.And now?For the first time in decades, The Board was afraid.The illusion was breaking.The torches were coming.The guillotines were being rebuilt.And if Luigi Mangione succeeded?It would be the last election The Board ever rigs.Luigi glanced at the stolen security tablet in his hand. His access codes—ripped straight from The List—still worked. The override would disable every alarm for exactly 32 seconds.That was all he needed.Because the moment Musk saw him…He was already dead.Until next time,AntonDancer, Writer, Buddhist.Permission to be Powerful is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Permission to be Powerful at www.antonvolney.com/subscribe
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    5 mins

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