EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m an elite copywriter. Agora-trained. With a client roster that includes Tony Robbins, Ramit Sethi, and Neil Patel. If you would like to work with me to help you craft a powerful message, you can book a consultation here.Dear Permission to be Powerful Reader,My words are lethal weapons. As a professional copywriter, I’ve persuaded millions with my words. I’ve spent over a decade studying the finest intricacies of persuasion. I’ve learned from some of the best communicators of our age. I’ve also read volumes about psychology and communication. All of that adds up to a pretty lethal skill set. Few people compare. Now and then, I forget about all the energy I’ve put into being a great communicator. And on a few rare occasions, I’ve deeply hurt people with the weight of my words. Some were traumatized, either intentionally or not, on my part.I feel responsible for tempering some of the advice I’ve given you here in this book — to contextualize it further so you don’t hurt people you love. I want to remind you that I filter the world into two categories — safe people and unsafe people.I treat each category much differently.I don’t want to treat safe people like they’re unsafe. I’ll lose people I care about very quickly if I do that.But, in reality… I want unsafe people far away from me, so I don’t care that much how they receive me. With that said, I tend to temper my response to an unsafe person to how egregious I think that person is being. If I’m getting a threat of violence, for example, you will receive my full wrath, and I’m not going to feel sorry about it. If you are actively belittling me… perhaps I’ll tone it down, but I’ll still be a little savage if the situation calls for it. Most of the time, it won’t.I grew up under very unusual circumstances that most people cannot relate to. So, you might find it difficult to accept why I am so steadfast about how I approach people. As I’ve said before, I paid a high price for these lessons. I purged a lot of people from my life. Some were my flesh and blood. I must come across as a little jaded. Maybe so. Perhaps it’s because, to this day, there are parts of my personality that still attract some toxic people to me. Usually, when they arrive, I can spot them and get rid of them, but still, there’s a sweet, sensitive side of me that attracts wolves predictably.One of the significant insights I’ve had recently concerns attraction. When I feel attracted to someone, I don’t take that as a sign that I should pursue them anymore. I first have to ask myself why. Why am I attracted to that person? I may very well be attracted to that person because of their negative traits, not despite them.I may like you BECAUSE you are avoidant, controlling, manipulative, and abusive. That’s what I know. That’s my default setting. That’s what’s familiar. So, I must be careful.But, in either case, I only reserve my hyper-assertive treatment for situations where I’m being devalued. And, even then, I may not go all out on a person.You may have noticed my brutally honest style and approach to my writing. This is something that developed over time. I believed in many lies growing up. I fell for ruses that complete idiots wouldn’t have fallen for. I kept the company of many pathological liars. After a while, I decided to go the opposite direction. I became a straight shooter. I was a Radical Honesty buff then, and I’ve only grown more in that direction. It’s very unsettling to some people. And it’s very comforting to others. Either way, it is a potent tool.Funny, I got bullied so much by so many people growing up that I became a bully’s worse nightmare — able and willing to give the brutal honesty that could f**k a person up in the light of day.I want to warn you to be cautious when following my advice. If people have been walking all over you for your whole life, it’s unlikely that you’re going to go for the nuclear option… but if you’re not aware, you might hurt yourself or someone else.Most people are afraid of the cold, hard truth. Some people can’t handle the truth. Too much of it all at once can mess with a person’s identity.That said, be careful and discerning. If you have been paying attention, I’ve shown you the best skill sets for each end of the spectrum. I’ve also shown you how to use boundaries even in toxic situations. But I’ve also talked about how to be a great listener and empathizer. One skill set lends itself more to safe people, while the other will be more useful when dealing with unsafe people.The post on listening will help you dramatically enhance the good vibes among your core group. And, 9 times out of 10, you won’t have to use things like silence to assert yourself. Understand that with the people I love and care about, there are lines that I would never cross, and I’m very clear about that. But, simultaneously, the world is filled with ...
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