Showing results by narrator "Phil Blechman" in All Categories

As one of Santa’s Elite Fixers, Jing spends most of his time waterboarding greedy toy manufacturers or responding to terrorists holding Rudolph for ransom. While not on the job, he relaxes in the North Pole, a paradise where he could forget all the killing and bloodshed and curl up to some Christmas music and hot cocoa. Until a rogue group of elves betrays Santa and threatens what should have been a pleasant Christmas. Every time a bell rings, an elf gets his Glock.

My mother-in-law, Diane Newby, zombified by accident. She still volunteers at her church bake sales and cooks pot roast for her daughter and son-in-law, Ron Yardley. What ticks her off is when people don't treat her like a normal human being - with glowing red eyes and super strength and speed. And if she doesn't get her own way, look out. She explodes and leaves broken plaster and body parts in her wake. Nothing stops her: not brick walls, the federal government, or middle-aged spread.

This sci-fi thriller explores the possibility that when we dream we're merely glimpsing into an alternate reality. Three strangers bound together by a shared dream fight against the current of fate. Can they come to terms with the truth? Are we the only versions of ourselves? Are you the best version of you to exist? They must find each other without losing themselves. Two universes hang in the balance as external forces vie for control of their ability to peer into an alternate reality.

Ace zombie reporter Sam Melvin has been fired - by his wife, Lisa. Their paper, The Midley Beacon, is barely surviving. How will they make ends meet? Sam decides to give being a detective a try. He advertises his business - but his zombie experience comes with it. All across the country, people bring their zombie problems to Sam. Squirrels? Bulls? Sam's on the case. But can his experience with zombie turkeys transfer? Sam finds out in a series of deadly adventures - and so will you when you listen to this audiobook. See if you can keep from dying from laughter.

Zombies charge first, ask questions later. Middle-aged, overweight, and undead, Diane Newby leads the paranormal privateers against criminals and corruption. Sailing to trouble spots too sensitive for the US government, with zombie strength and regeneration they beat bullies into submission. Aided by zombie turkeys, corgis, and bulls, vicious criminal geniuses fall before them. If Diane gets overwhelmed by foes, her lovely zombie bodyguards and romantic zombie husband come to the rescue.

Olson is trapped in a city that is on the hunt for him. He has nowhere to run as the whole place is sealed from the toxic atmosphere. Nobody wants to help him until he meets a scientist who knows his true origins. Meanwhile, back home, his friends are caught under the thumb of a brutal regime, until they decide to fight back.

Americans should be able to carry some sort of protection because you never know when you'll have to use it. To me as the author, I feel like a handgun is protection for yourself and your family. I mean, I don't have to give ya'll any examples, you see it all the time on TV. You never know when someone is going to try to break in your home and try to rob you. It's very important you have something you can respond with in a situation like that because if you don't, the intruder can take complete control of the scene and you won't be able to do anything for your family and home.

Orion is dead again. Whether death comes from a stab wound, a bullet to the brain, or just plain dumb luck, he always comes back. He is glad to have the second chances because there is a princess in each life who seems to be in trouble. Whether she's a nurse in the Vietnam War or medieval English royalty, Orion is determined to win her over.

A mysterious world is discovered with a massive, miles-wide pit torn through one continent. The planet is strewn with the remains of a fallen civilization. What happened to the locals, and what were they digging for so desperately? One young intern is about to find out.... When the expedition sent to explore inside the Pit meets with disaster, Prometheus Jones finds himself impossibly stranded on another, even stranger world, a mysterious planet in an altogether different part of the galaxy.

The prison system in the US is in crisis. We have far too many prisoners and spend far too much on housing them and building more prisons. We have far too harsh penalties for less serious nonviolent crimes, so we are unnecessarily incarcerating people who could be productive citizens, and destroying families in the process. In The Costly U.S. Prison System, author Paul Brakke provides a careful, close-up look from a conservative perspective of what’s wrong with the prison system and how to fix it.

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Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won't stay dead. You can shoot 'em, chop 'em, burn 'em — they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. As Sam tracks down the zombie turkeys and how to eradicate them, his editor, Lisa Kambacher, nags him to turn his stories and expenses in on time.