Showing results for "Wellness" in Satire

If we were as tiny as ants to another being, what would they make of our philosophies? The great satirist Voltaire imagines alien visitors who have opinions. Bedtime stories are narrated by the world's most celebrated voices and written with no beginning, middle, or end so you don't stay up to hear what happens next. They're interesting enough to give your mind something to focus on, but delivered in a way that encourages sleep.

It’s the year 2000 in a city aglitter with wealth and possibility; what could be so terribly wrong? Our narrator has many of the advantages of life: young, thin, pretty, a recent Columbia graduate, she lives in an apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan paid for, like everything else, by her inheritance. But there is a vacuum at the heart of things, and it isn’t just the loss of her parents in college, or the way her Wall Street boyfriend treats her, or her sadomasochistic relationship with her alleged best friend.

For years bros, meatheads, and gym rats around the world have posed pressing questions: What can you bench? Can I skip leg day? What goes in this protein shake? And, importantly, do you even lift, bro? At long last, answers to these questions and more can be found in one handy volume - The Swoly Bible, written by the Internet's favorite gym expert/literary genius, Dom Mazzetti. In it, Mazzetti lays out the truth about how to make gains in the gym and in your life.

This lighthearted month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife - the main role of expectant dads - will handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor, what to buy, how many and when, maintaining work-life balance, and maintaining work-life-wife balance.

Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That's right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won't have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book....

Krystal Heeling is the CEO of Verdant Corpora, a boutique wellness brand, and when she writes an email to her brand ambassadors, she doesn’t pull her punches. Heeling’s underlings fall like flies as they unwittingly fall short of the Paltrowian ideals to which Heeling so ardently aspires; principles that she herself cannot consistently achieve. Yours in Wellness is a short, incisive, humorous take on the wellness industry that you will be sure to enjoy while sipping an $11 acai-wheatgrass kombucha. As we say in the land of coffee enemas, “Bottoms up!”

It's a proven fact that people who eat a raw vegan diet live longer, never age, and make approximately a million dollars or more each year (eat more greens, make more green). Now you, too, can learn the secrets of the perfect human diet in The Raw Vegan Bible by esteemed author (and super cool musician), Dr. David "Greens" Connor. Learn why enzymes are the key to increasing vitality and raising your Kundalini energy.

Self-help books offer solid, beneficial techniques, but they really only work for the young. Award-winning comedy writer Gene Perret reveals that more mature devotees must adjust these techniques, tweak them, alter them, and in some cases, ignore them completely. New Tricks for Old Dogs points out some of the flaws in the self-help philosophy. It tempers the advice with common sense. The battle cry of this volume is do it, but don't overdo it.

Definitely not for the faint-hearted or the easily offended, The Spiritual Slob is, perhaps, the most entertaining and straight-forward book of its kind - the perfect antidote to those of us who are tired of flapping our wings so hard to get to heaven.

In Book 3, Johnny Dongle continues his full-frontal assault on the terrible names given to children by modern parents.

Johnny Dongle returns with more real-life, awful names given to children by even realer-life, awfuler parents. Tresco: Child or Discount Pharmacy Chain? Pacey: Child or Race Horse? Annora: Child or Medical Condition? You be the judge. Bascom: Child or Secretive Government Agency? You be the judge. Advisory: This audiobook is even more vile, vulgar, and hilarious than Volume I.

For years, millions of us have murmured under our collective breath about the descent of modern children's names into the depths of the ridiculous, and now those millions have a voice. Teachers, nurses, parents, students: If you've ever rolled your eyes at a child's name and fantasized about ridiculing his/her parents for their self-serving pretentiousness - or simply their ability to spell correctly - this is the audiobook for you.

Dave Barry exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960's that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. His new book gives parents-to-be the hard facts they need. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prison - to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.

A humorous and sometimes spot-on guide to the secrets of aging, from an author who, unlike consultants and bureaucrats, has been there and done that.

Did you know that an evil group of men has kept the healing qualities of corn a secret for hundreds of years? These men - the same men who pollute our skies with chemtrails, poison our bodies with microwave and cell phone radiation, and tell us that Teflon is safe - have suppressed the information of our heritage, our birthright. What is this birthright? Real corn.

The hilarious new spoof diet book from New York Times best-selling author Chris Dolley. It's a fun, quick listen, covering everything from "the science of possession" to "Crapper Clinic's Demon Dating Service", while ensuring "clients" are possessed by the demon most compatible with their slimming needs. This is the diet book that everyone is talking about.

A little pocket guide of how and why smoking cigars is the new "healthy" option for any busy lifestyle. It is really just a quit/stop smoking satire written by a lover of smoking and fine cigars.

This is a brief guide to penis health and some tips surrounding penis-related issues.