Emily and Dan discuss tech boundaries, modeling good device behavior, internet safety for kids, and more in this season’s final episode.

Social media, cell phones, and all things electronic couldn’t be more important to pivotal children and teens. In this final episode of the season, Emily and Dan unpack today’s issues around tech and kids. 

Most parents give their children iPads to entertain or educate them while they are busy, but at what point does the device become the babysitter or crutch and your child addicted to the screen? Emily and Dan’s children currently have flip phones, not iPhones, and iPads and they go into why. 

As parents, we also need to look at our own tech boundaries to see how we are modeling our electronic relationships. Most people aren’t honest with themselves about screen usage and Emily and Dan offer suggestions for modeling good device behavior with your kids. 

Internet safety for kids on social media and apps has never been more important. Emily and Dan discuss a controversial answer to this problem, that kids do not deserve the right to privacy, where they each land on the issue, and how exchanging privacy builds trust. They then discuss how to establish ways for kids to practice privacy.  

Ultimately being clear, setting expectations and guidelines around the devices is the best way to create tech boundaries. Dan wraps up by offering great mindset shifts around how we approach phones, both in terms of their immense power and possibilities and the destruction they can cause.

Episode Outline:

(03:18) Modern kid phone problems

(08:27) What gets measured gets managed

(18:15) Internet safety and the right to privacy

(22:09) Installing tech boundaries, expectations, and guidelines

(28:05) Is it the parents or the tech company’s job to keep kids safe?

(39:18) Building skills to interact digitally 

(40:54) Pros and cons of the current generation’s technology

(46:10) Do this before giving a kid a device

(51:00) First season wrap up

Connect with Dan and Emily: 

Great Job! Website

Great Job! Twitter 

Great Job! Facebook 

Great Job! LinkedIn 

About Dan and Emily: 

We’re Dan and Emily Mall, the parents behind Great Job! We’ve known each other since 5th grade, been together for over twenty years, and have spent the last 12 years raising our two daughters, Sidda and Charlie. We started this space after we noticed a lot of our friends and teachers (and our kids’ friends’ parents) coming to us for advice or to compliment the way our kids sometimes show up in the world. We wanted a way to share our stories of what’s worked and hasn’t for parents and caregivers, who, like us, struggle with raising amazing humans.

In this episode, Emily and Dan break down goal-setting and habit-building for families. For many parents, the beginning of the new school year can feel more monumental than the new year, so they recommend focusing on intentional goals and habit-building over resolutions.  

Emily and Dan emphasize that successful habits are rooted in identifying a clear destination. Drawing from his experience assisting corporate teams, Dan shares three goal-setting strategies that can be seamlessly adapted to family dynamics. Other business tools, like the 10-year strategy, can also be used to craft a visionary roadmap for your family's future.

Identifying that goal in the first place may feel difficult, however. Knowing if you tend towards being a visionary or implementer can be helpful. Emily and Dan offer examples of each and then give practical suggestions to help each type improve their ability to identify goals.

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Episode Outline:

(03:16) Favoring habits and goal setting over New Year’s resolutions 

(05:40) Emily and Dan’s habits

(09:14) Better boundaries around technology and scheduling

(16:13) Destination planning + goal setting

(24:42) Visionaries and implementers

Resources Referenced:

When by Daniel Pink

Greenlight family banking app

The Vision Driven Leader by Michael Hyatt

Traction by Gino Wickman

Connect with Dan and Emily: 

Great Job! Website

Great Job! Twitter 

Great Job! Facebook 

Great Job! LinkedIn 

About Dan and Emily: 

We’re Dan and Emily Mall, the parents behind Great Job! We’ve known each other since 5th grade, been together for over twenty years, and have spent the last 12 years raising our two daughters, Sidda and Charlie. We started this space after we noticed a lot of our friends and teachers (and our kids’ friends’ parents) coming to us for advice or to compliment the way our kids sometimes show up in the world. We wanted a way to share our stories of what’s worked and hasn’t for parents and caregivers, who, like us, struggle with raising amazing humans.

Emily and Dan dig into how parents can co-create healthy boundaries with and for their children so that kids learn to take responsibility for their lives and choices.

In the previous episode, Boundaries, Part 1, Emily and Dan defined boundaries, how to have them, and what they can look like. In this episode they hone in on boundaries with kids. 

Boundaries are so important in all people because they instill behaviors of self control, responsibility, freedom, and love. Without good boundaries rooted in childhood, issues with impulse control, addiction, and irresponsibility have been shown to arise later in life.

Boundaries are a learned skill, and a child’s first experience of them is within family. Emily and Dan remind us that children essentially don’t know what they’re doing, which is why they have parents to love them, provide structure, and guide them to maturity. 

How a child handles their own boundaries directly reflects a parent’s relationship to their own boundaries. Dan shares four ways that people learn boundaries: modeling, coaching, directing, and mentoring. Emily then layers on top the ten core tenants of Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Robert Townsend.

Stay in the loop and sign up for the Great Job! newsletter.

Episode Outline:

(00:45) Boundaries are a learned skill

(04:22) Caretakers help the external become internal

(06:56) Boundaries for the the pivotal years

(09:26) Dan’s 4 ways people learn boundaries

(16:46) The power and normalization of cursing

(26:55) Responsibility, power, and respect

(30:26) Motivation, commitment and accountability for the pivotal ages

(34:53) Evaluation, productivity, envy, activity, and exposure

Resources Referenced:

Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Robert Townsend

Dr. Becky’s Instagram

Good Inside with Dr. Becky podcast

Connect with Dan and Emily: 

Great Job! Website

Great Job! Twitter 

Great Job! Facebook 

Great Job! LinkedIn 

About Dan and Emily: 

We’re Dan and Emily Mall, the parents behind Great Job! We’ve known each other since 5th grade, been together for over twenty years, and have spent the last 12 years raising our two daughters, Sidda and Charlie. We started this space after we noticed a lot of our friends and teachers (and our kids’ friends’ parents) coming to us for advice or to compliment the way our kids sometimes show up in the world. We wanted a way to share our stories of what’s worked and hasn’t for parents and caregivers, who, like us, struggle with raising amazing humans.