This week we are hanging out with annoying coworkers in dank tunnels while we discuss “Alone”! We’re talking how Doggett was ruined by the X-Files in only a few short months, how regifting really loses its charm after the fourth or seventh time, whether there’s a radon leak in the basement office, that Leyla easily could have been another Krycek, how Doggett is always getting himself into Looney Tunes situations, and how we’re mostly excited that we are continuing the travel expenses storyline. It’s what the people truly want! We are bankrolling Images of Mulder, this summer’s hot new coming-of-age drama, getting excited about the lizard turning people into juice boxes, enjoying funemployed Mulder, and how there’s only so much more passing the baton that we can take. Mostly we’re just thrilled at the confirmation that Mulder and Scully do need to be dragged away from work by their fingernails. Canon!

Note: Please submit Season 8 and The Lone Gunmen questions by Saturday November 23rd!

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This week we are for some reason breaking into maximum-security prison and hunting down grizzly bear poachers while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Maximum Byers” and “Diagnosis: Jimmy”! We’re talking Jimmy being put on death row for impersonating Elvis, how we didn’t know Byers was capable of bullying anyone, our favorite character Stronk, Steve Martin’s possible culpability in this evil scheme, and that Jimmy would definitely be a wife guy, and it’s strange that he hasn’t been snatched up already. He’s hot and dumb and rich! We worry about Langly getting frostbite through his 42 t-shirts, get into a death match over candy, get put off by Marilyn the sexy evil nurse, laugh at Byers’ super-serious bear trauma, and how messed up it is to let your eyebrows fall off into your patient’s open wounds. And just a PSA: if candy is literally falling out of your pockets, you know you have a problem.

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This week we are jumping off an oil rig in slow-motion while we discuss “Vienen”! We’re talking the show’s triumphant return to Boat X-Files, Bo Crowder’s surprise appearance, whether or not the Zodiac Killers is an open X-File, how much Mulder and Doggett hate each other, Skinner not being able to resist eating some delicious caramels off Kersh’s desk, Mulder’s undeniable cat energy, and whether Scully is busy doing a bunch of pranks when she’s teaching at Quantico. We wonder why nobody seems to notice that Mulder does not give a shit anymore, enjoy Mulder and Doggett’s matching outfits, worry about Scully going into labor as a result of dismay at Mulder’s actions, explore Amanda’s troubling work situation, and yet again wonder about Kersh and Skinner’s whole deal. New drinking game: take a shot every time Scully flips that sheet off the body to shock somebody.

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