What's the story today?

Double-secret detention, general elections, specific rap contests to choose the path forward for the new UPN.

Will the new Mouth-Face be a DJ Chauffeur-Usher-Butler, or an MC Satan-Baby? The choice is yours western man: are you the Batman or the Robin in your on the low gay hookups?

Or are you a wildcard agent of chaos, AKA the Joker?

Only time and taste will tell.

So, start your engines, lose your son, find him again, remember you're an auteur, and rush to the theater to win hearts and minds with that mysterious, community-unifying golden ticket known only as Rush Hour 4!

What's the story today? The TV is on the radio, and the radio is on TV! Everything is everything, and nothing is worth anything!

Lose your mind, grab your son, and escape the whimsical death-bed reveries of your boss on a goofy daytrip to the ol' ilicit movie theater.

It's an experience that will widen your eyes until you're no longer the (chinese) man you once were!

Lose yourself in the music, the moment; you own it, you better never let it go -- your weapon, that is. Because Nicki Minaj's ass won't abide cowards.

Nut up. Then, shut up and enjoy the sidewalk strolling trip to the cinema known only as Rush Hour 4!

What's the story today? It's not easy directing comms, but it is easy to beat your coworkers ex-wife with a golf club. Learn the finer points of responsibility with Carl Winslow, find out about Big Son's new album, and get excited for an age of holy terror.

When the war ends, the election begins!

Vote with your dollar and struggle to hang onto your sense in this: the Adam Sandler cohosted insanity-simulator (featuring Jim Carrey) known only as Rush Hour 4!

Catch it simultaneously on the new Nickelodeon and the new UPN. Because we deserve nice things. And if we can't have those, we'll have to settle for this instead.

What's the story today? Heart-pounding escapes, Weezer mixtapes, how to abandon your son, and how not to lose your mind in the treacherous terrain of new media!

Hello DJ Mush-face, goodbye Dave Grohl.

RIP.

We hardly knew ye.

It's out of the frying pan and into the Presidential campaign, in this, everyone's favorite New-Nickelodeon property: Rush Hour 4, part 8!

It's the summer of holy terrorism all year long, so have a nice time, why don't you?

(Don't get dragged by a chariot out there!)

What's the story today? Solo broadcasting, shadow-warfare, endless advertisements in your Bible, and Stephen King-style dark energy in your flagging Simpsons episode! All that and more while you wait in the queue of the ice cream truck known only as Rush Hour 4!

What's the story today? The difficult intricacies of a bombing campaign, psychological warfare via Ska, being ab-ducted, spiraling your tits into a chain link, and Simpsons-style indoctrination! Everything that's halal, and nothing that's haram (that's the impression I get)! In this, the solemn sixth installment of the scholary religious text we like to call Rush Hour 4!

What's the story today? Having a catch, throwing a bomb, weapon-dicks, rap-style beef, eccentric industrialists, and Kramer's motorcycle! All that and more -- if you don't get blown up by a tooth bomb first -- in this: the fifth fantastic voyage into the chasms beneath the monolith we like to call Rush Hour 4!

What's the story today?

Dungeons and divorces, new family matters, having a catch, electric motorcycles, truckstop economics, and other experimental industries.

all that and more in this, the fourth mind-bending installment of Gods favorite storybook: Rush Hour 4.

The end of the most horrific of the audio issues, but you have to squeeze through the eye of the needle. Busted mic cable plays nice after about 40 minutes. So...there's that, I guess...