From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter.

The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage:

1. Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations.

2. Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

3. Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set.

4. Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester.

5. Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided.

6. Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.”

7. Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics.

8. Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release!

Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes:

5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs

How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence

When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected.

Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions.

But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds.

Key Takeaways:

1. Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It
2. Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them.
3. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think)
4. Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book, Tried and True, releases in January 2026! Learn more at danache.com/triedandtrue.

For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect.

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Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I’m joined by my husband, Shaun, to discuss the sometimes complicated world of gift-giving in a relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself debating with your spouse or partner over how much money you spend on gifts, how much is “too much,” or how to honor each other's money habits, this conversation is for you.

Shaun and I get real about our different financial personalities—me as the frugal saver who values experiences over things, and Shaun as the generous giver who believes in creating smiles through thoughtful presents. We share how our upbringings shaped these perspectives and how they lead to “spirited” conversations around the holidays, birthdays, and everyday giving.

Key Takeaways:

• Value and respect each other’s approach to giving

• Don’t go into debt for holiday gifts—find ways to bless your loved ones within your means

• Set a simple holiday budget or gift limit to relieve stress

• Recognize when old money stories (like scarcity thinking) are influencing your present

• Focus on connection—sometimes a heartfelt note means more than any wrapped package

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book, Tried and True, is releasing in January 2026! Get on the list to get your FREE 5-day devotional companion at danache.com/triedandtrue.

Still looking for simple ways to build connection with your mate? Get my "Ultimate Couple's Playbook" here.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's the most wonderful time of the year—unless your relationship is in trouble. We're taking an honest look at how affection can ebb and flow in your relationship—especially during busy seasons like the holidays. Whether you consider yourself naturally affectionate or not, you'll learn why intentionally nurturing closeness matters for every couple. We're discussing real-life reasons affection can dip, ranging from plain old busyness and fatigue to unresolved wounds and letting family drama in. Plus, you'll hear practical tips to help your relationship not only avoid these "affection dips," but actually grow stronger and more connected in your marriage or relationship—no matter what time of year it is.

Key Highlights:

• Why Affection Dips

• Signs You’re Losing Connection

• Intentional Steps for Growth

• Forgiveness & Healing

• Family Drama & External Voices

Resources Mentioned:

• Ultimate Couples Guide
  Get practical tools to strengthen your relationship: danache.com/ultimatecouple

• Infidelity Intensive
  Are you dealing with infidelity in your relationship? Get the help you need to recover from betrayal: danache.com/infidelityintensive

• Episode on Forgiveness:
  A step-by-step guide inspired by Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu’s “The Book of Forgiving.” Find the episode at Episode 150.

Listener Review Spotlight:

A longtime listener shares her thoughts on how the Rebuilding Us podcast has helped her and her husband to have more direct and meaningful conversations.

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Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you struggling with bouncing back after hardship? Are you often tempted to quit things when they get hard? This episode highlights the critical role of resilience in relationships and personal growth. Resilience isn't just about enduring hardships but also becoming stronger because of them. I introduce the 'Seven Cs of Resilience,' which include competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Listen in as I share personal anecdotes and biblical references to show you how resilience can be developed and applied in various aspects of life, particularly in marriage and relationships. Finally, this episode concludes with a prayer for those struggling to embrace resilience in their lives.

Takeaways

• Resilience is essential for thriving relationships.
• Resilience can be built through overcoming hardships.
• How resilience builds character
• Why authentic connection with others strengthens resilience
• Why resilience is a learned skill, not an innate trait

This episode previously ran in October 2024.

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Gratitude isn’t just for the easy, feel-good times in your marriage. In this episode, we discuss how to practice real thankfulness—especially when things feel tense, unresolved, or even painful—and some simple, down-to-earth ways to reframe complaints into thanks and spot those tiny moments of hope. If you and your spouse are feeling disconnected or just need a little perspective shift, you’ll find encouragement and super practical advice to help you rebuild, reconnect, and start seeing the good even when life gets messy.

Key Takeaways:

• Real vs. Superficial Gratitude:
  Gratitude is more than mere positivity or “Instagram thankfulness.” Find gratitude that heals.

• Why Gratitude Matters in Hard Seasons:
  Even when it feels like your relationship is "a dumpster fire,” you can intentionally seek out the little things worthy of appreciation.

• Complaints Reveal Needs:
  Instead of shaming negative feelings, complaints often signal unmet emotional needs.

• A Practical Reframing Exercise:
  A step-by-step practice to move from complaints to gratitude

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Take the How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz

• Need marriage coaching? Join Covenant Connections

• Heal from betrayal with my Infidelity Intensive Program

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I know p*rn isn't a topic that we like to discuss. It brings guilt, embarrassment, pain, and shame. But it's a topic we MUST discuss if we want to have authentic and whole relationships. Parents, your kids are looking at it. Wives, your husbands have it on their phones. Husbands, your wives are secretly into it. Of course, not all, but the numbers are staggering within both faith-based and secular realms. So we're talking about it.

I invited Sathiya Sam back on the podcast (he was a guest four years ago) because he's the real deal. He's got a personal story of being chained to p*rn for many years before he finally got free. And so can you (or the person you love). Parents, listen to this conversation with your children (both boys and girls!) I'll be listening to it with mine. Together, we can bring this conversation out of the dark and into the light so all who want freedom can get free.

Sathiya shares his personal journey and insights on healing from shame and building emotional regulation. Though women engage in p*rn too, Sathiya feels a burden for men, and so together, we unpack the root causes behind the struggles that affect men, women, and the impact on marriages and families. Sathiya also shares practical steps for how to have open communication both at home and in faith communities. Listeners will find hope, resources, and real-world strategies for supporting themselves and loved ones in breaking free from p*rn and restoring authentic connection in their relationships.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Man Within Podcast:
  Find over 1,000 episodes of practical insights for men at Man Within Podcast.

• Free Book – The Last Relapse:
  Get Sathiya Sam's free book and learn more about the Deep Clean system at thelastrelapsebook.com.

• How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz:
  Dana Che's free resource to gauge connectivity in your relationship: danache.com/partnerquiz.

• Recover from Infidelity
  Learn about Dana Che's program, Infidelity Intensive.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this special episode, you'll learn how to heal your broken heart and rebuild your marriage after infidelity. Many affair-recovery programs are run by those who never experienced infidelity first-hand. Not this one. I share candidly and compassionately our story of how infidelity ransacked our marriage and how we overcame it. If you're feeling embarrassed, ashamed, isolated, or abandoned, you don't have to be. You need a guide to get to where you want to go. I am your guide. Infidelity Intensive is your solution.

Learn more about Infidelity Intensive and get started today at danache.com/infidelityintensive.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.