If you're focusing on fixing the emotional or relational problems in your marriage but haven't addressed your spiritual disconnection, your efforts won't go as far or last as long. In today's episode, we're getting to the heart of why so many couples struggle in their marriages.

From my experience coaching couples, I see marriage problems like poor communication or emotional distance are often symptoms of a deeper problem—spiritual disconnection. I believe marriage is about more than just connecting physically or emotionally; it requires an ongoing, strong spiritual bond as well.

There are three main ways we connect in marriage:

• Physical connection - good, but it isn’t strong enough to sustain a marriage.

• Emotional connection - better, but still incomplete

• Spiritual connection - best...the truest foundation that brings the deepest unity

In order to close the emotional gap in your marriage, you have to build a stronger foundation than feelings alone.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding the cross and how marriage is a reflection of God

• How personal responsibility allows you to become more resilient through trials

• Becoming aware of how distractions keep you away from your real power
• The triangle analogy and why growing closer to God automatically grows you closer to your spouse

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

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Do you sometimes struggle with how to pray for your marriage? In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the five powerful ways you can cover your marriage in prayer—and how to actually pray with confidence, intention, and results. Whether you're a seasoned prayer warrior or just starting out, you’ll leave with a super-practical template that makes praying for your spouse simple and heartfelt.

In today’s “sweet repeat,” I guide you through the acronym COVER: Compassion, Oneness, Vigor, Expectation, and Readiness, and show you how to apply each one as you pray over your relationship. Get ready to move beyond the typical “help my spouse have a good day” and into deeper, more meaningful prayers that can transform your connection.

Key Takeaways:

• Why prayer is essential for your marriage: It’s not just about doing all the right things or attending another marriage conference, but about inviting God to truly work in your relationship.
• How COMPASSION sets the tone: Start from a place of humility and empathy, not judgment or resentment.
• The power of ONENESS: Discover how unity in marriage is a living witness to the world and why praying for oneness is so important.
• Why VIGOR matters: Bring energy, enthusiasm, and genuine effort into your prayers, even when you feel weary.
• Praying with EXPECTATION: Approach God believing He hears you and wants to respond to your faith-filled prayers.
• The importance of READINESS: Prayer isn’t a monologue; prepare to hear from God—and be open to what He might ask you to do!

I’ll also share practical prayer topics—like unity, wisdom, protection, strength, resilience, and peace—to help you get started or go deeper in your prayer life.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, is available now! Visit triedandtruemarriagebook.com to grab your copy and get the FREE 5-Day devotional to start you on the right foundation.

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It's story time! Come and listen to how an ancient story about Deborah the judge can teach us to break free from traditional gender roles and society's expectations. I’m excited to share an excerpt from my brand-new book, “Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples,” which highlights Deborah's incredible leadership, her secure identity in God, and her husband Lappidoth's quiet strength and support.

Key Takeaways:

• Why women are NOT second-class citizens in God’s kingdom and how our calling matters

• How men can champion their wife’s gifts and leadership without comparison and competition

• Practical tips on honoring one another’s unique roles, shaking off cultural pressures, and letting your relationships be Spirit-led.

Why You Should Listen: This episode isn’t just for those struggling with gender roles in marriage—it’s an invitation for everyone to reflect on what God has called YOU to do. If you’ve ever felt pressured to fit a certain template or questioned your role, you’ll find comfort, inspiration, and practical encouragement here.

Quick Links:

• Pre-order the book: Triedandtruemarriagebook.com

Purposeful Quote:
“We were created equal in the sight of God. The irrevocable call of God applies to women and men alike.” – Dana Che

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Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy.

I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens—even in marriages that appear “just fine” on the outside. Sometimes it’s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice—five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse.

Key Takeaways:

• Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus

• The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls

• How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up)

• The “big five” behaviors that damage emotional safety—including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment

• Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love

• Straightforward actions you can take today—even without a marriage coach—to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected

If you’ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage—even if everything looks good on the outside—this episode is for you. I’m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True

How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection

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Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out!

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What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain.

If you’re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough.

Key Takeaways:

1. Pressure reveals our hidden potential.
2. Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see
3. Purpose makes it all worth it

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

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From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter.

The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage:

1. Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations.

2. Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

3. Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set.

4. Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester.

5. Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided.

6. Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.”

7. Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics.

8. Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!

Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release!

Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes:

5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs

How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence

When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected.

Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions.

But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds.

Key Takeaways:

1. Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It
2. Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them.
3. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think)
4. Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!

For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I’m joined by my husband, Shaun, to discuss the sometimes complicated world of gift-giving in a relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself debating with your spouse or partner over how much money you spend on gifts, how much is “too much,” or how to honor each other's money habits, this conversation is for you.

Shaun and I get real about our different financial personalities—me as the frugal saver who values experiences over things, and Shaun as the generous giver who believes in creating smiles through thoughtful presents. We share how our upbringings shaped these perspectives and how they lead to “spirited” conversations around the holidays, birthdays, and everyday giving.

Key Takeaways:

• Value and respect each other’s approach to giving

• Don’t go into debt for holiday gifts—find ways to bless your loved ones within your means

• Set a simple holiday budget or gift limit to relieve stress

• Recognize when old money stories (like scarcity thinking) are influencing your present

• Focus on connection—sometimes a heartfelt note means more than any wrapped package

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book, Tried and True, is releasing in January 2026! Get on the list to get your FREE 5-day devotional companion at danache.com/triedandtrue.

Still looking for simple ways to build connection with your mate? Get my "Ultimate Couple's Playbook" here.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.