Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy.

I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens—even in marriages that appear “just fine” on the outside. Sometimes it’s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice—five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse.

Key Takeaways:

• Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus

• The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls

• How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up)

• The “big five” behaviors that damage emotional safety—including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment

• Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love

• Straightforward actions you can take today—even without a marriage coach—to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected

If you’ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage—even if everything looks good on the outside—this episode is for you. I’m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True

How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection

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Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out!

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What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain.

If you’re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough.

Key Takeaways:

1. Pressure reveals our hidden potential.
2. Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see
3. Purpose makes it all worth it

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!

Tried and True is a marriage guide for couples facing pressure—disappointment, unmet expectations, seasons of delay, or conflict. Drawing from twelve flawed biblical couples, this book helps you understand what your trials are revealing—and how God can use them to strengthen your covenant and your connection.

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From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter.

The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage:

1. Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations.

2. Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

3. Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set.

4. Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester.

5. Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided.

6. Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.”

7. Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics.

8. Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!

Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release!

Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes:

5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs

How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence

When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected.

Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions.

But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds.

Key Takeaways:

1. Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It
2. Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them.
3. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think)
4. Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book is set to release on January 15! Get Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples wherever books are sold!

For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

I’m joined by my husband, Shaun, to discuss the sometimes complicated world of gift-giving in a relationship. If you’ve ever found yourself debating with your spouse or partner over how much money you spend on gifts, how much is “too much,” or how to honor each other's money habits, this conversation is for you.

Shaun and I get real about our different financial personalities—me as the frugal saver who values experiences over things, and Shaun as the generous giver who believes in creating smiles through thoughtful presents. We share how our upbringings shaped these perspectives and how they lead to “spirited” conversations around the holidays, birthdays, and everyday giving.

Key Takeaways:

• Value and respect each other’s approach to giving

• Don’t go into debt for holiday gifts—find ways to bless your loved ones within your means

• Set a simple holiday budget or gift limit to relieve stress

• Recognize when old money stories (like scarcity thinking) are influencing your present

• Focus on connection—sometimes a heartfelt note means more than any wrapped package

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book, Tried and True, is releasing in January 2026! Get on the list to get your FREE 5-day devotional companion at danache.com/triedandtrue.

Still looking for simple ways to build connection with your mate? Get my "Ultimate Couple's Playbook" here.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

It's the most wonderful time of the year—unless your relationship is in trouble. We're taking an honest look at how affection can ebb and flow in your relationship—especially during busy seasons like the holidays. Whether you consider yourself naturally affectionate or not, you'll learn why intentionally nurturing closeness matters for every couple. We're discussing real-life reasons affection can dip, ranging from plain old busyness and fatigue to unresolved wounds and letting family drama in. Plus, you'll hear practical tips to help your relationship not only avoid these "affection dips," but actually grow stronger and more connected in your marriage or relationship—no matter what time of year it is.

Key Highlights:

• Why Affection Dips

• Signs You’re Losing Connection

• Intentional Steps for Growth

• Forgiveness & Healing

• Family Drama & External Voices

Resources Mentioned:

• Ultimate Couples Guide
  Get practical tools to strengthen your relationship: danache.com/ultimatecouple

• Infidelity Intensive
  Are you dealing with infidelity in your relationship? Get the help you need to recover from betrayal: danache.com/infidelityintensive

• Episode on Forgiveness:
  A step-by-step guide inspired by Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu’s “The Book of Forgiving.” Find the episode at Episode 150.

Listener Review Spotlight:

A longtime listener shares her thoughts on how the Rebuilding Us podcast has helped her and her husband to have more direct and meaningful conversations.

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you struggling with bouncing back after hardship? Are you often tempted to quit things when they get hard? This episode highlights the critical role of resilience in relationships and personal growth. Resilience isn't just about enduring hardships but also becoming stronger because of them. I introduce the 'Seven Cs of Resilience,' which include competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. Listen in as I share personal anecdotes and biblical references to show you how resilience can be developed and applied in various aspects of life, particularly in marriage and relationships. Finally, this episode concludes with a prayer for those struggling to embrace resilience in their lives.

Takeaways

• Resilience is essential for thriving relationships.
• Resilience can be built through overcoming hardships.
• How resilience builds character
• Why authentic connection with others strengthens resilience
• Why resilience is a learned skill, not an innate trait

This episode previously ran in October 2024.

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Gratitude isn’t just for the easy, feel-good times in your marriage. In this episode, we discuss how to practice real thankfulness—especially when things feel tense, unresolved, or even painful—and some simple, down-to-earth ways to reframe complaints into thanks and spot those tiny moments of hope. If you and your spouse are feeling disconnected or just need a little perspective shift, you’ll find encouragement and super practical advice to help you rebuild, reconnect, and start seeing the good even when life gets messy.

Key Takeaways:

• Real vs. Superficial Gratitude:
  Gratitude is more than mere positivity or “Instagram thankfulness.” Find gratitude that heals.

• Why Gratitude Matters in Hard Seasons:
  Even when it feels like your relationship is "a dumpster fire,” you can intentionally seek out the little things worthy of appreciation.

• Complaints Reveal Needs:
  Instead of shaming negative feelings, complaints often signal unmet emotional needs.

• A Practical Reframing Exercise:
  A step-by-step practice to move from complaints to gratitude

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Take the How Connected Are You? Partner Quiz

• Need marriage coaching? Join Covenant Connections

• Heal from betrayal with my Infidelity Intensive Program

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.