2024

I’m going to start all over, this year I’ve been too nice to point where I let everyone walk all over me. Putting the dark shit I had to go through first, before I put out the healed version of me. I waited for you to finish, but now I got my headphones on and I can’t hear what you said. If you don’t like what I say, don’t ask for my opinion, I will be straight and straightforward to the point. Next year will be more of tropical era. I used to be someone who had to hide my feelings just keep the peace. No more keeping the peace, because all it got me was getting hurt even more. I would apologize even when I know I didn’t do nothing wrong. I hate compliments, because I always had targets on my back. No matter what I did, I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I’m living on my own terms, no more people pleasing or feeling useless. I found peace with speaking my mind, being blunt and straightforward. If you don’t like it not my problem or issue. There is door, you can leave, I’ll open the door. I’ve made my mistakes, but half the shit I went through I didn’t deserve. You won’t change me or blame me for your own actions either. You live and learn, but you also learn to forgive yourself as well. Next year will be a brand new me, no longer holding back or caring. Since no one cared when I was being walked over.

Being judged for my own health problems, people thinking I am making it up for attention or it’s not real. Listen to yourself, you are talking about things that you don’t even understand or know about. If you put yourself in other people's shoes maybe you will understand, but you are too arrogant to care. Wait until you have health problems and others treat you the way you treated me, then give you a view from my perspective. Being in pain, sick and dizzy all the time wasn’t what I chose. This was a battle given to me, I have no cure but at least I still show up to help others. I always put others before me, and I always go out of my way to help others and make sure their day is better. I don’t have to do that, but I love helping other people and just doing God’s work. I am not about the popularity or what comes back to me, I could care less. Every good deed that is done is out of helping others, you never know you have made their day. Nowadays everyone is about themselves or trying to tear everyone else down. It's a sad world we live in and we need to do better. Long story short, I could have given the ones who hurt me the same treatment, but I walked away. I gave them the cold shoulder as well. Two classy ways to be, without falling to the same level as them. This is why many people don’t like me or always have a problem with me, when they have a problem with themselves. I will never change or think I am better because I am not. I am thankful to be who I am and be where I am today. I am thankful for the support and that I get to do what I love. Long story short it was a tough fight, but it’s a fight I am glad I kept fighting.

When someone is envious they can no longer hide it. I can't relate to desperation. A kid who never grew up, a grown adult who acts like a kid. An adult who throws tantrums when they don't get their way. Blaming others for your problems, saying you're not about drama, but your DNA was built on drama. A grown adult twice my age can't even keep their anger in or act like an adult. Can't even handle the stress and make the environment miserable to work in. You are only dragging yourself down and burning every bridge. Having the mindset that you are above the law or no one can go after you. You were wrong, your narcissism and ego will catch up to you. Once you lose your job, it's not on me. Of course, you will blame one because it's easier than to admit your mistakes. How well is that working out for you?

You can make a year a living hell, but what you put out will come back twice as hard. Karma isn't something that should be messed with. Someone who says one thing, but their actions say another. You are manipulative and can't be trusted. 1 year/10,000 bad moments didn't keep me down for long, but it destroyed your career. You can't say I won't break someone's confidentiality and so easily do it behind their back. Then have a fun time learning your lesson on why you break HIPPA violations. You will have to deal with several lawsuits. You didn't think your decisions through, of course, you will blame the one who didn't do anything. You will find anything to feed you and make yourself the victim. Even though you say you're not about the drama. Funny how your words even mean something different than how you act.

Everyone thinks you're an angel while covering yourself with a mask. Pretending to be someone you're not or pretending to be a good person when underneath you are cruel. Everyone has a different version of you, but every one that is close to you doesn't know the dark side of you. They say that can't be you or you are lying, even with the evidence in front of them they are still in denial. Denial will only make you an idiot and stupid. I know you love them and want what is best for them, but eventually, you will have to face the truth. That the person you knew wasn't all that it seemed.

Some people can't stand to see the individuals who are winning, they run to who is winning. Keep that smile on your face, keep spreading the light. Everything done in the dark will come to the light. I realized being an adult is like high school 2.0. Some people haven't grown past high school, while others are beyond their age. No storm lasts forever, it's okay to be angry for a little while, but eventually, you'll see the wisdom in it. Funny how life can teach very important lessons while keeping you patient.

If there was one thing I learned, I learned to remain humble but also to stand in my strength. People will be envious of you and will do anything to wreck your image. I would always say let everything go in one ear and out of the other. Sometimes the storm we go through teaches us a lesson or shows us our strength. That doesn't mean to treat others the same way they treated us, but to be humble about it. We do show how we want to be treated and it can be an advantage point or point to back off. We are allowed to share what we went through and no one can silence us. Sharing what you went through can help someone else.