Disclosing to our children the truth about their conception story is now (thankfully) seen as practice within our communities - however, deciding who else to tell, whether other family members, friends or even our children’s school teacher or caregiver can be a more complex choice.

In this episode Becky and Hayley talk about their own personal experiences of talking to others about how they built their families. The decision of who else to tell (and when) and how these conversations can differ depending on your family make up. During this episode Becky and Hayley’s offer some helpful tips and direct to resources that can help families navigate this topic with more confidence and support.

Links

Links mentioned in the episode are:

Friends and Family/Supporting Your Loved One FREE resource

https://pathstoparenthub.com/friends-and-family-resource-sign-up/

Donor Conception: Connecting Through Conversations London Event Tickets

https://pathstoparenthub.com/friends-and-family-resource-sign-up/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:

https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Paths to Parenthub Instagram

page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: https://www.instagram.com/definingmum

In this episode, Hayley and Becky discuss a topic that is currently in the media due to the new Netflix Documentary, 'The Man with 1000 Kids'. This has raised questions and discussions about a number of donor siblings and the differences between worldwide family limits and UK family limits. Hayley, with personal experience dealing with donor sibling groups both as a DCP and RP, is extremely knowledgeable about current practices and what intended parents need to know. Knowledge is power, which is why we've recorded this episode to help you understand what questions to ask your clinic/bank, the implications of larger sibling numbers and to dispel some of the misconceptions that may be out there, particularly in the UK.

This is an important listen for anyone involved in donor conception - intended parents, recipient parents, and professionals - including those working in clinics/banks.

Thank you to our sponsors for this episode, Apricity Fertility - https://www.apricityfertility.com/uk

Join Paths to Parenthub:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Follow us on Social Media:

Paths to Parenthub Instagram page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum

Free resource mentioned in this episode: Top Questions to Ask Your Clinic/Bank - https://pathstoparenthub.com/top-questions-to-ask-about-donors/

Donor Siblings: Connect with Confidence

https://pathstoparenthub.com/donor-sibling-course/

In this episode, Becky and Hayley dive into the topic of ‘Attachment and Bonding’, a complex subject that many parents of donor-conceived children are understandably concerned about. Questions such as ‘Will I bond with my child born through egg donation?’ or ‘How will I feel about my baby if we don’t share genetics?’ are all addressed in a compassionate and validating way, whilst also offering some practical advice around how to overcome these feelings. Becky and Hayley draw on their own lived experience as parents through donor conception to offer comfort to the listener, whilst simultaneously looking to the research on this fascinating topic to find some answers regarding this commonly held fear.

Have a listen to the Top Questions To Ask About Donors Episode here

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details

Hayley’s Instagram page

Becky’s Instagram pages:

@definingmum

@paths_to_parenthub

Research mentioned in the episode:

Golombok, S (2011) Children conceived by gamete donation: Psychological adjustment and mother-child relationships at age 7.

Choosing a donor can feel like a huge and momentous decision, with lots of emotions involved, information to consider, and steps to take as you move towards becoming a parent through donor conception. Hayley and Becky talk about their own personal experiences of selecting their donors, the smaller decisions that led them to go ahead with their decisions, and how they feel as they reflect on their choices now. They chat about what they wished they'd have known, and consider the different types of donor options and matching processes, as well as the transparency and support they'd like to see more widely as an industry.

Links mentioned in the episode are:

Paths to Parenthub LIVE Summit 2024 - Tickets available here: https://pathstoparenthub.com/virtual-summit/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://pathstoparenthub.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Paths to Parenthub Instagram page: www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum

Early disclosure within donor-conceived families is thankfully now considered best practice, however, that doesn’t mean that the process of ‘telling’ is as easy as child’s play. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a closer look into the practicalities of discussing conception stories with our donor-conceived children, whilst also exploring some of the complex emotions that may arise for parents when attempting this process. Becky and Hayley provide some helpful examples of how they have tackled these discussions and share some of their favourites children’s story books, tips, and resources that have helped their families along the way.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub LIVE Summit 2024 - Tickets available here: https://pathstoparenthub.com/virtual-summit/

Paths to Parenthub Membership details: https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details: https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page: www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages: www.instagram.com/definingmum www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Book Titles mentioned within the episode:

What Makes A Baby https://wwwcorysilverberg.com/

Happy Together https://www.happytogetherchildrensbook.com/

We Are Family https://www.wearefamilybooks.co.uk/

My Donor Story https://www.mydonorstory.com/

Our Story https://www.dcnetwork.org/our-bookshop/

Robo Babies https://www.owletpress.com/product-page/robo-babies

Secret Code Inside of Me https://www.rajanilarocca.com/picture-books/the-secret-code-inside-you/

Research article mentioned in episode Telling donor-conceived children about their conception: Evaluation of the use of the Donor Conception Network children’s books. Harper, J et al (2022) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2405661821000150

Managing feelings and emotions around ‘Genetic Loss’ can be a challenge for many parents who have used a donor to build their family. In this episode, Becky and Hayley take a deep dive into the complexities of the emotions surrounding genetic loss, how they can present themselves, and why it’s so important for us to validate and speak up about this often unspoken topic.

During this episode Becky and Hayley discuss how Genetic Loss has personally impacted them, both as parents who do not share DNA with their children, and in Hayley’s case as a donor conceived person too. Both hosts offer reassurance, validation and practical advice about how to best tackle this nuanced topic - and also explore how an initial ‘loss’ has also brought about a significant ‘gain’ within their families.

As always, we love to hear from you so do feel free to reach out to Hayley or Becky through Instagram, your comments and questions can help us shape future episodes, all designed to open up conversations that previously haven't been openly discussed.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page:

www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages:

www.instagram.com/definingmum

www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Family by Co Article

Handling Resemblance Talk

https://www.cofertility.com/family-learn/navigating-comments-about-your-donor-conceived-childs-resemblance-a-guide-to-responding

In a recent social media post Becky talked about 'acceptance' being key as a recipient parent through donor conception, specifically around accepting that there is another person who holds a 'parent' title in the scientific, genetic sense, as opposed to the day-to-day parenting role. This sparked a discussion within the comments thread, which is why Hayley and Becky decided to record a spontaneous podcast to discuss this further, with more content and nuance that this topic needs.

In this episode you'll hear our own thoughts and opinions, how we approach terminology with our kids, the thoughts of the community who generously shared their insights with us, and research into terminology from a survey of donor conceived individuals.

As always we love to hear from you so do feel free to reach out to Hayley or Becky through instagram, your comments and questions can help us shape future episodes, all designed to open up conversations that previously haven't been openly discussed.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page:

www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages:

www.instagram.com/definingmum

www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub

Research Study by Donor Sibling Registry:

https://dsr-static-files.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/485cc3a945adcfb7

In this episode Hayley and Becky discuss some of the phrases that can be used by recipient parents in speaking to their children, specifically 'You are a gift' and 'You were so wanted'. We discuss how these phrases can sometimes be contentious in social media forums, the different perspectives that people may have, why we as parents might use these phrases, and how important context is when these are shared.

With Hayley's experience as a donor-conceived person and both Becky and Hayley's experiences as recipient parents, they explore the nuances, intentions, and potential impacts of using these terms in different scenarios.

Links of note that are mentioned during the episode:

Paths to Parenthub Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com

Paths to Parenthub LGBTQ+ Membership details:

https://members.definingmum.com/lgbtq-paths-to-parenthub/

Hayley’s Instagram page:

www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp

Becky’s Instagram pages:

www.instagram.com/definingmum

www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub