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There are siblings who love spending time with each other as often as possible, some tolerate it once or twice a year, and there are others who would rather eat glass than have to speak to each other.

Why? What happens to their relationship? Is there something we parents can be doing to set our kids to be the ones who love and support each other as we age and after we die.

When one listener asked for a deep dive on siblings who don’t talk to each other later in life it came at the same time as another, Helen, who said she'd noticed lots of her female friends are struggling in their relationships with their sisters.

In this episode I talk with Susie about the factors in our own family setups that affect sibling relationships long term and whether there's a secret to making sure your kids don’t hate each other some day. We also try to help Helen with some ideas about how she can ameliorate her own situation with her sister.

BOOK:
Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343433834_Sibling_Relationships_in_Adulthood_Research_Findings_and_New_Frontiers
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7399693/Findings
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-04983-006

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a text

MAKING RESOLUTIONS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/70-new-years-resolutions-love-them-or-loathe-them-the-question-is-how-can-we-make-them-work-for-u/
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/Be-the-person-you-want-to-be-not-the-person-others-think-you-should-be/

PARENTING STRESS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/109-parenting-stress-is-now-a-major-health-issue

TOO MANY CHOICES: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/concentration-and-the-troubling-effect-of-too-many-choices/

NAGGING: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/nagging-reducing-the-friction-using-the-magic-of-routine/

10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People by David Yeager
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/

The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids by Elaine Taylor-Klaus
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/108-how-to-support-struggling-complex-kids/

Sexism and Sensibility by Jo Ann Finkelstein
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/116-girls-beauty-standards-entitlement-and-misogyny/

When Girls Fall Out by Andrew Hampton
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/

Hold on to Your Kids by Dr Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate

Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

Failing our Future by Joshua Eyler
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/104-how-grades-harm-students-and-what-we-parents-can-do-about-it/

Exam Nation by Sammy Wright
https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/102-why-our-obsession-with-grades-fails-everyone-an-interview-with-exam-nation-author-sammy-wright/

Of Boys and Men by Richard V Reeves
Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax.

MOST DOWNLOADED EPISODES OF 2024:
80: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/79-taking-things-personally-coping-with-adversity-teen-love-and-changing-our-minds-when-we-get-ne/

110: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/

77: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/standards-setting-high-expectations-without-the-pressure/

88: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/nagging-reducing-the-friction-using-the-magic-of-routine/

93: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screen-time-for-tweens-and-teens-the-latest-on-what-works-and-what-doesnt/

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a text

Connection is at the root of human happiness, but staying connected through the turbulent teens and keeping family traditions and gatherings positive can be a challenge.

In this episode we help Helen with her question about how to stay connected with her daughter who's on the brink of becoming a teenager.

We also talk about hosting gatherings, drawing on advice from the expert, Priya Parker. How to put nutrients back into our family earth; avoid straying into topics that cause problems, move away from stale family tropes, and create an atmosphere that sets us up for positive connection.

Help for Helen:

• Incorporate traditions or rituals that mark transitions and changes in your relationship with your teenagers, like a special one-on-one trip or creating a photo book.
• Communicate openly about the changing nature of your relationship with teenagers and reassure them that you are still a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
• Be open and clear about how they can tell you anything and you will not tell a soul, to encourage trust and a sense that they can open up to you.

Episode 2 covers how to stay connected
Episode 3 how to talk so they’ll listen
Episode 13 is great ways to spend time with your teen
Episode 41 covers conflict resolution

Family parties without the fireworks:

Episode 70: Giving presents. Is your teenager ungrateful?
Episode 69: Festivities or fights?

1. Focus on being proactive and setting the tone for gatherings by approaching them with positivity and an intention to connect, rather than just trying to get through them.
2. Be intentional about creating spaces and activities that bring your family together, such as having everyone bring a game to play.
3. Identify and highlight the unique quirks or interests of family members to spark engaging conversations and connect on a more personal level.
4. Deputize unexpected guests or assign roles to family members to mix up the group dynamics and prevent the same people from dominating conversations.
5. Channel any argumentative or competitive energy into structured activities or games that allow for healthy expression and bonding.
6. Seed new conversation topics that encourage sharing stories and personal experiences rather than just opinions, such as asking about the best new food tried or songs discovered.

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk