On Episode 249, Emily Kircher-Morris chats with Diane Dempster and Elaine Taylor-Klaus from Impact Parents, hosts of the Parenting with Impact podcast. They talk about the challenge of motivating neurodivergent kids, and break down why it’s challenging. The chat includes a framework called PINCH, a way to remember and think about important elements of motivation. You’ll come away with practical strategies for parents to foster a supportive environment that encourages engagement, and ways to move away from fear and stress as motivators.

Takeaways

• Traditional parenting advice often doesn't apply to neurodivergent kids.

• Motivation can be misunderstood; it's not always lack of interest.

• Executive functioning skills play a crucial role in motivation.

• Dopamine is essential for engaging in non-preferred tasks.

• Fear-based parenting creates stress and is not sustainable.

• Intrinsic motivation develops later in life, especially for neurodivergent individuals.

• The PINCH framework helps identify different motivators for kids.

• Interest in a subject can significantly boost motivation.

• Competition can motivate but may also cause anxiety in some children.

• Collaboration and connection with peers can enhance motivation.

• Parents should experiment with different motivational strategies.

• Transparency and vulnerability in parenting can build trust.

Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster co-founded ImpactParents.com in 2011 because traditional parenting advice wasn’t working for their complex kids and they found no training or coaching available designed specifically to support them as parents of complex kids.

Internationally recognized as leading parent educators, they use a coach-approach to help parents reduce the stress of raising children, teens, and young adults with ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, LD and more. They’re the creators of Sanity School® behavior training, and the authors of many books including Parenting ADHD Now: Easy Intervention Strategies to Empower Kids with ADHD and The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety and More.

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Impact Parents website

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In this episode of the Neurodiversity Podcast, Emily Kircher-Morris answers questions submitted by members of the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy and Support Group on Facebook. The questions cover a range of topics including co-occurrence between ADHD and dyslexia, word disability, gifted kids who are anxious, 504 denial in schools, learning disabilities + high cognition, and many more of your questions. The episode provides insights, strategies, and resources for parents and individuals navigating neurodiversity.

To submit questions for our next AMA, join the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy & Support Group on Facebook!

On episode 247, Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Dr. Megan Anna Neff to explore the complexities of neurodiversity, and the societal stereotypes that affect their lives. They talk about the challenges of diagnosis, the nuances of misdiagnosis, particularly the overlap between conditions like autism and borderline personality disorder, and the significance of self-awareness and acceptance in the journey of neurodivergent individuals. They discuss the phenomenon of autistic burnout, its implications, the challenges in clinical training regarding autism and ADHD, and inherent inequities that exist because of stereotypes and biases.

Takeaways

• Diagnosis can significantly impact self-understanding and acceptance.

• Misdiagnosis is common, especially among women and genderqueer individuals.

• Understanding one's neurodivergent identity can aid in the healing process.

• The medical community often overlooks non-stereotypical presentations of neurodivergence.

• Self-criticism can stem from societal pressures and internalized shame.

• Community and connection are vital for neurodivergent individuals.

• Many undiagnosed autistic individuals are misdiagnosed with personality disorders.

• There is a significant lack of training for clinicians on autism and ADHD.

• Breaking down stigma around neurodivergence requires ongoing effort and advocacy.

• Autistic burnout includes increased sensory sensitivities and emotional fatigue.

• Living in a typical societal structure can lead to burnout for autistic individuals.

• Challenging myths about autism is essential for societal change.

Don’t forget to join the Neurodiversity Podcast Advocacy & Support Group to keep the conversation going!

Dr. Megan Anna Neff (she/they) is a clinical psychologist, researcher, and advocate based in Portland, Oregon. Her work focuses on neurodiversity, spirituality, and holistic mental health. She has published articles and a book exploring diverse topics such as place-attachment, relational psychotherapy, and the African diaspora.

Following her own and her child's autism diagnoses, Dr. Neff became a passionate advocate for neurodivergent individuals. She challenges stereotypes and misconceptions through her writing, speaking engagements, and online presence, including her Instagram platform where she shares educational content and resources.

Dr. Neff is dedicated to bridging the gap between academic research and practical applications in the mental health field. She promotes an authentic and holistic approach to mental health that embraces the whole person and acknowledges the impact of systemic issues on individual well-being.

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Dr. Neff’s Instagram

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The Neurodiversity Podcast is available on Facebook and Instagram, and you can also join our private Facebook group.

Dr. Donna Henderson joins Emily Kircher-Morris to talk about the changes in the assessment process for autism, the importance of empowering therapists to diagnose autism, and the need for equity in masking. Their conversation also explores the double empathy problem and the challenges of balancing unmasking with the needs of neurodiverse individuals in educational settings. They also discuss the PDA profile and its place within the autism spectrum. That’s all waiting for you on episode 246. This is a reprise of an earlier chat.

Takeaways

• The assessment process for autism is evolving, with a shift towards understanding subjective experience rather than relying solely on test scores.

• Therapists are adapting by relying less on formal tests and more on interview skills and understanding inner subjective experiences.

• Empowering therapists to diagnose autism is important for identifying and supporting individuals who may have been missed in the past.

• Masking and camouflaging are complex behaviors that can have both benefits and drawbacks, and it is important to find a balance that respects individual needs and promotes equity. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is not simply about avoiding demands, but rather an overriding biological drive for autonomy.

• Misdiagnosis and labeling are common for PDAers, leading to potential negative consequences, especially for minority boys.

• Understanding the core features of PDA, such as difficulty coping with demands, a wide variety of coping mechanisms, and challenges with social hierarchy, is crucial for accurate diagnosis and support.

For details about our courses for teaching twice-exceptional learners, click here.

Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical neuropsychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage, and she is co-author (with Drs. Sarah Wayland and Jamell White) of two books: Is This Autism? A Guide For Clinicians and Everyone Else and Is This Autism? A Companion Guide For Diagnosing. Dr. Henderson provides neuropsychological evaluations and consultations for children, adolescents, and adults who would like to understand themselves better. She is a sought-after lecturer on the less obvious presentations of autism, autistic girls and women, PDA, and on parenting children with complex profiles. She also provides case consultations and neurodiversity-affirmative training for other healthcare professionals.

BACKGROUND READING

Donna’s website

Is This Autism?

On episode 245, Emily talks with Dr. Brandi Walker, a retired Army clinical psychologist, about her experience as a psychologist in the military and the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. They talk about her journey of transitioning from a fuel handler to a psychologist, and when and how she developed an interest in ADHD. There are policies and limitations for recruits with ADHD or autism, and they talk about the implications, along with the waiver process that’s involved. Dr. Walker talks about the experiences of neurodivergent military members, and they have solid advice for young neurodivergent individuals considering joining the military.

Takeaways

• Being a psychologist in the military is a rewarding experience but also comes with challenges due to the shortage of providers and the responsibility of caring for soldiers while also being a soldier.

• Joining the military with a diagnosis of ADHD or autism requires meeting specific criteria and may involve the need for waivers depending on the severity of symptoms and the individual's treatment history.

• Neurodivergent individuals in the military often find themselves masking their symptoms, but the structured and direct communication style of the military can also be beneficial for some individuals.

• Military members who are parents of neurodivergent children face additional challenges due to frequent moves and the lack of a strong support system, but building routines, seeking support, and leveraging strengths can help create a supportive environment for the child.

• Young neurodivergent individuals considering joining the military should prioritize self-care, have open conversations with their providers, and explore alternative paths if medication is necessary.

Pre-order Emily’s new book with Amanda Morin, Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted & Supported now! Release is set for January.

Dr. Brandi Walker is a retired Army Clinical Psychologist and faculty member at Womack Army Medical Center at Fort Bragg, NC. She also coaches military leaders and their teams in an effort to target the reduction of mental health challenges for servicemen and women. Dr. Walker maintains her earnest desire to further what is known about ADHD, and continues to provide therapeutic expertise and researched-informed support to families and individuals that are impacted.

She has spent the last seven years working with various hospitals, clinics, and schools conducting research on children with ADHD, family and sleep variables, and environmental factors. She has initiated the Prince George’s County (Maryland) CHADD Chapter and CHADD’s Southern Regional Support Center, and serves as Chair Past of the Diversity in the Military Committee of the American Psychological Association's Society of Military Psychology (Division 19). She is a Howard University and University of Maryland alumna, and runs a private consulting practice.

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ADDitude Magazine Webinar and other helpful links

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On this episode, Emily Kircher-Morris and Carrie Bonnett discuss the intricacies of executive functioning, its significance in academic and life success, and the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. They explore strategies for improving executive functioning skills, the importance of emotional regulation, and the need for educators to understand and support students struggling with these skills. Emily and Carrie also talk about the importance of motivation, making invisible tasks visible, and the journey of learning and adapting strategies to enhance executive functioning. That’s all on episode 244!

Takeaways

• Executive functioning skills are crucial for getting important tasks done.

• Many people struggle with executive functioning, especially neurodivergent individuals.

• Teaching executive functioning involves education and strategy development.

• Motivation often comes after starting a task, not before.

• Chunking tasks into smaller steps can reduce overwhelm.

• Making the invisible visible helps manage tasks and time.

• Emotional regulation is closely tied to executive functioning skills.

• Negative messaging about executive functioning can impact self-efficacy.

• Educators should focus on understanding and supporting students' unique needs.

• It's important for students to know they are not alone in their struggles.

Remember, you have until 11:59 pm Pacific time on Friday night, October 4th to join our Educator Hub! Remember that this is the final chance to sign up until after the holiday season. If you’re an educator, you should look and see if this community might be helpful in making your classroom a more neurodiversity-affirming place. Click here to check it out.

Carrie Bonnett earned her BBA in Marketing from the University of Notre Dame. However, her career trajectory shifted after a transformative volunteer experience at an underserved school, where she discovered a passion for teaching. This newfound passion led her to pursue a graduate degree in teaching at the University of Portland.

Over the course of her 20-year career in education, Carrie has taught in both private and public schools across the United States, working with diverse student populations. Her experience includes supporting and teaching executive functions, even before she had a formal understanding of the concept. She has served as a classroom teacher at both the middle and high school levels, as well as a substitute teacher for all grades. Currently, she is an adjunct instructor at the University of Portland, where she teaches early-career teachers.

She holds endorsements in Social Science and English Language Arts and is a certified teacher in the State of Oregon. Additionally, she has received training in the Seeing My Time® curriculum.

BACKGROUND READING

Carrie’s website

There’s a nagging feeling most of us experience from time to time, that tells us maybe we’ve fooled everyone. We shouldn’t have been placed in a certain position, or we’re not qualified to take on a project. On episode 243 we revisit a talk with Lindsay Lee, the author of a study about impostorism. Why do we experience it? What can we do to tamp it down?

Check out the Creating Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools webinar we hosted earlier this week! You’ll find great information that will help make your classroom or school a place where all students can thrive. If you like the webinar, we’d love to have you as a member of our Educator Hub, click here to join!

Dr. Lindsay Lee is an educational scholar focused on ensuring that all advanced learners, regardless of their background or circumstances, have access to the resources and support they need to reach their full potential. She is currently working as a research analyst and professional development creator & facilitator on a Jacob K. Javits-funded project to optimize gifted identification practices across the United States. Her research interests include equitably identifying advanced students, psychological and educational measurements, talent development across domains, and developing learning environments that encourage creative growth. She has published several research and practitioner articles, as well as book chapters on these topics.

In addition to her research, Lindsay is also an active member of several professional organizations, including the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) and the American Educational Research Association (AERA). She has presented her research at numerous conferences and has received recognition for her work, including the 2021 NAGC Carolyn Callahan Doctoral Student Award and the 2022 NAGC Research & Evaluation Network Dissertation Award.

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On episode 242, Emily Kircher-Morris talks with Dr. Matt Zakreski about the importance of neurodiversity-affirming practices in therapy, and how intersection of giftedness and neurodiversity emphasizes the importance of neurodiversity-affirming practices in therapy, the significance of understanding twice exceptionality, and the role of diagnosis in accessing resources. Dr. Zakreski advocates for equity in supporting neurodivergent individuals and encourages listeners to pursue their passions and find supportive communities.

Takeaways

• Giftedness can be met with resistance in traditional settings.

• Neurodiversity-affirming practices focus on strengths.

• Twice exceptional individuals face unique challenges.

• Diagnosis should be a tool for accessing resources.

• Finding the right support can be challenging.

• Equity is essential in addressing diverse needs.

• There are multiple pathways to success for neurodivergent individuals.

• Pursuing passions is key to fulfillment.

• Community support is vital for neurodivergent individuals.

Register here for our free annual fall event for educators, which is coming this Monday, September 23! If you’re an educator who’s passionate about creating neurodiversity-affirming learning environments for students, this event is for you. You can sign up free, and if you can’t make it to the live event, you’ll have access to the recording afterward. Join Emily and a live panel of experts by clicking here to register.

Dr. Matt Zakreski has shaped his career around his passion for serving gifted kids, starting with being a counselor (and a camper) at the Center for Talented Youth summer program as a teenager. He’s cofounder of The Neurodiversity Collective, LLC, and in his practice he offers therapy, consultation/coaching, and assessment.

Matt is a board member of PAGE, the Pennsylvania Association for Gifted Education, and works closely with multiple organizations around the country. He consults schools, presents at conferences internationally, conducts webinars, and leads discussions at his local library.

He earned BAs in Psychology and Communications at Wake Forest University in Winston Salem, NC. He assisted with research at Harvard Psychophysiology Lab at the Harvard University Business School in Cambridge, MA before making his way to graduate school at Widener University, where he earned his Doctorate in Psychology from the Institute of Graduate Clinical Psychology. He currently serves as an adjunct professor in the psychology department at Goldey-Beacom College in Wilmington, DE.

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