• Men, save your marriage

  • By: Terry Ray
  • Podcast

Men, save your marriage

By: Terry Ray
  • Summary

  • Hello gentlemen and welcome to the ‘Men, Save Your Marriage Show’. My name is Terry, I’m your host. I did an autopsy on my failed marriage and now, I use the lessons I learned to help other men on how to save their marriage before it fails completely. I’m going to share with you the things I wish someone would have shared with me before my marriage failed. Each episode dives into the root causes of marital struggles, offering insights and strategies to reignite connections, rebuild trust, and become the leader your home needs. Whether you’re facing communication breakdowns, emotional distance, or just feel like your marriage is slipping away, I am here to guide you with wisdom, humor, and hard-earned lessons from my own journey. Your marriage isn’t over—this is the wake-up call you’ve been waiting for. Subscribe now, and let’s get to work saving your marriage!
    2024
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Episodes
  • #17 - Growing Together – How to Support Her Dreams Without Losing Yourself
    Mar 5 2025
    #17 - Growing Together – How to Support Her Dreams Without Losing Yourself
    • Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage!

    • Today, we’re tackling an important but often overlooked topic: How to encourage your wife’s personal and professional growth while balancing your own ambitions.

    • Many men either over-prioritize their wife’s dreams and lose themselves or focus only on their own goals, leaving their wives feeling unsupported.

    • The key? Mutual growth and balance. Let’s dive in.

    1. The Importance of Mutual Support in Personal and Professional Growth
    • Marriage isn’t a solo race—it’s a team sport.

    • When both partners feel supported in their goals, the marriage thrives.

    • What happens when support is missing?

      • Resentment builds when one spouse feels like their dreams don’t matter.

      • Lack of growth leads to stagnation, which can make a marriage feel lifeless.

      • When only one person grows, it creates distance between partners.

    • Healthy support looks like:

      • Encouraging your wife’s dreams without feeling like it threatens your own.

      • Being her biggest cheerleader while expecting the same in return.

      • Communicating openly about goals so you grow together, not apart.

    Key Takeaway: Supporting each other isn’t about sacrificing your own identity—it’s about making sure both of you reach your full potential.

    2. Tips for Balancing Her Dreams and Yours

    1. Get Clear on Each Other’s Goals

    • Have a real conversation about where you both want to go in life.

    • Questions to ask each other:

      • “What’s a personal or professional goal that excites you?”

      • “What support do you need from me?”

      • “How can we make sure both of our goals fit into our life together?”

    2. Schedule ‘Dream Meetings’

    • Set a time every month or quarter to check in on goals.

    • Make adjustments so neither person feels overshadowed or unsupported.

    3. Take Turns Being in the Spotlight

    • Sometimes, one spouse’s career or goal will take priority for a season. That’s okay—as long as it’s balanced over time.

    • Example: If your wife is starting a business, you may take on more at home for a while. Later, when you’re launching something new, she does the same.

    4. Define What ‘Support’ Looks Like

    • Everyone needs different types of support. Does she need encouragement? Practical help? Financial investment?

    • Make sure you’re supporting her in the way she actually needs, not just how you assume she wants.

    Key Takeaway: When you balance each other’s dreams, you create a marriage where both of you feel seen, valued, and excited about the future.

    3. Setting Boundaries to Avoid Losing Yourself
    • Supporting her dreams doesn’t mean abandoning your own.

    • Common mistakes men make:

      • Overcommitting to her goals while neglecting their own.

      • Feeling guilty for prioritizing their ambitions.

      • Assuming that if they succeed, their wife will automatically feel supported.

    • How to Set Healthy Boundaries:

      • Protect personal time. Have at least one hobby, goal, or pursuit that’s just for you.

      • Communicate when you need support. Don’t just give—receive, too.

      • Make sure you’re both carrying the load. Don’t let one person’s dream become a burden on the other.

    Key Takeaway: A strong marriage is built when both people are growing—not when one person sacrifices everything for the other.

    Closing Thoughts
    • Growth in marriage isn’t about choosing between her dreams and yours—it’s about growing together.

    • Take action: Have a conversation this week about both of your goals.

    • Share this episode with another man who needs to hear it.

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    21 mins
  • #16 - Money Problems – Navigating Financial Stress Together
    Mar 4 2025
    #16 - Money Problems – Navigating Financial Stress Together
    • Synopsis: Financial struggles are a leading cause of marital strife. Talk about how to have open, honest conversations about money, make joint financial decisions, and support each other through financial stress.

    Episode Guide:

    • Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage!

    • Today’s episode is all about money—one of the biggest sources of stress and conflict in marriage.

    • Financial stress can break even the strongest relationships, but it doesn’t have to. I’ll show you how to budget, save, and communicate about money in a way that strengthens your marriage rather than tearing it apart.




    1. How Financial Stress Impacts Marriage and Leads to Conflict

    Money problems are rarely just about money. They’re about trust, priorities, and communication.

    • Common Financial Fights:

      • One spouse spends impulsively while the other is a saver.

      • Debt creates anxiety, blame, and resentment.

      • Different money mindsets—one sees money as security, the other as freedom.

      • Hiding spending or financial decisions (financial infidelity).

    • Effects of Financial Stress on a Marriage:

      • Increased arguments, resentment, and tension.

      • Loss of intimacy—stress about money often spills into other areas, including emotional and physical connection.

      • Feeling like financial opposites instead of teammates.

    Key Takeaway: Money isn’t just math—it’s emotional. The goal isn’t just to make more or spend less but to get on the same page with your spouse.




    2. Strategies for Budgeting, Saving, and Managing Money Together

    1. Start with a ‘No Blame’ Money Talk

    • Set aside time to discuss money without accusations or judgment.

    • Focus on goals, not past mistakes.

    2. Create a Simple Budget Together

    • Step 1: Write down total income.

    • Step 2: List out fixed expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc.).

    • Step 3: Track variable expenses (food, gas, entertainment).

    • Step 4: Identify problem areas—where is money slipping away?

    • Step 5: Set a plan for debt reduction and savings.

    3. Use the 50/30/20 Rule as a Starting Point

    • 50% Needs (housing, food, insurance)

    • 30% Wants (entertainment, vacations, hobbies)

    • 20% Savings/Debt Payoff

    4. Establish a ‘Money Meeting’ Routine

    • Check in weekly or monthly to review finances and adjust the plan.

    • Celebrate wins (paid off a credit card, stuck to the budget, built savings).

    5. Set a ‘Fun Money’ Allowance

    • Each spouse gets a no-questions-asked amount to spend on whatever they want.

    • Prevents resentment and sneaky spending.




    3. Encouraging Open & Transparent Communication About Financial Goals

    • Money should be a team effort, not a battle.

    • Avoid the ‘financial parent/child’ dynamic—one spouse controlling all the money decisions breeds resentment.

    • Talk about financial goals early and often. Don’t wait for a crisis.

    • Ask each other:

      • Where do we want to be financially in 1, 5, 10 years?

      • What financial habits do we need to change?

      • How can we support each other without judgment?

    • Make a game plan together. Whether it’s paying off debt, saving for a house, or planning for retirement, work as a team.

    Key Takeaway: Open communication about money isn’t about controlling each other—it’s about creating a shared vision for your future.

    • Money is a tool—it shouldn’t be a weapon in your marriage.

    • If you’ve been avoiding financial conversations, start today.

    • Pick one strategy from this episode and apply it this week.

    • Share this episode with another man who needs to hear it.

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    20 mins
  • #15 - Re-establishing Emotional Intimacy
    Feb 25 2025

    Episode Guide:
    Welcome to Men, Save Your Marriage!

    • Today, we’re talking about emotional intimacy—what it is, why it’s crucial, and how to build it consistently.

    • If your marriage feels distant, disconnected, or just “off,” this episode will give you practical tools to rebuild emotional closeness with your wife.

    1. What is Emotional Intimacy and Why Does It Matter?

    • Definition: Emotional intimacy is the deep sense of closeness, trust, and understanding between you and your spouse. It is feeling truly seen, heard, and valued in your marriage.

    • Why It Matters:

      • A marriage without emotional intimacy is like a house without a foundation—it might stand for a while, but eventually, it will crumble.

      • When emotional intimacy is high, small conflicts don’t turn into big fights. Instead, they become opportunities for growth.

      • Without emotional intimacy, physical intimacy suffers. Many men want more sex in their marriage, but they’re skipping the foundational step—emotional connection.

      • It builds a secure, fulfilling partnership where both of you feel supported and understood.

    2. Practical Exercises to Foster Emotional Closeness

    Building emotional intimacy doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about small, consistent actions that build trust and connection. Here are some exercises to try:

    1. Daily Check-Ins

    • At the end of each day, ask each other:

      • “What was the best part of your day?”

      • “What was the hardest part of your day?”

      • “How can I support you better tomorrow?”

    • The goal isn’t to fix problems but to listen and connect.

    2. The 60-Second Hug or 6-Second Kiss

    • Hugging or kissing your wife for an extended time releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone).

    • Most couples rush past physical connection—slow it down and be present in the moment.

    3. Love Letter or Voice Memo Challenge

    • Once a week, write a short note or send a voice message telling your wife something you appreciate about her.

    • Keep it simple: “I noticed how hard you worked today, and I love that about you.”

    4. Ask Deeper Questions

    • Go beyond “How was your day?”

    • Try:

      • “What’s something you’ve been thinking about a lot lately?”

      • “What’s a dream you have that we haven’t talked about?”

      • “What’s one thing I could do to make you feel more loved?”

    • When she answers, don’t jump to solutions—just listen.



    3. The Importance of Consistency in Maintaining Intimacy

    • Intimacy is built over time, not overnight.

    • Too many men wait until there’s a crisis to start working on their marriage. By then, their wife is emotionally checked out.

    • Consistency beats intensity. A one-time grand gesture won’t fix years of neglect, but small, daily efforts will rebuild trust.

    • Set reminders if needed. Put a note in your phone to check in, send a message, or schedule a date night.

    • Be patient. If emotional intimacy has been low, rebuilding it takes time. Stay the course.




    Closing Thoughts

    • Building emotional intimacy is one of the greatest investments you can make in your marriage.

    • Start small. Pick just one exercise from today and do it this week.

    • If you’re serious about saving your marriage, don’t just listen—take action.

    • If you found value in this, share it with another man who needs to hear it.

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    23 mins

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