Life: Is It Just Me?

By: Paul Hope & Ryan Rocks
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  • Summary

  • Two Scots and a guest discuss life's big talking points. No judgement, just shared experiences. Season 1 is about the decision whether or not to have kids. @lifeisitjustme on socials & YouTube. Email hello@lifeisitjust.me
    Copyright 2021 All rights reserved.
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Episodes
  • ChildFree - Do I Want Children?

    ChildFree - Do I Want Children?
    Jan 2 2021
    Anna was always childfree (by choice) until her husband came back from vacation and changed his mind. She reached out on the Reddit community r/childfree for help - watch as she talks to Paul & Ryan about the difficult compromises she made. Transcript: ----more----     0:00:01.760,0:00:06.720 Hi, welcome to the show. As part of this series  on the decision about whether to have children, 0:00:06.720,0:00:11.520 we're joined by Anna who's here to give us her  insight. We're not here to make any particular 0:00:11.520,0:00:16.480 judgment, simply to chat about the factors  which real people, just like you, take into 0:00:16.480,0:00:22.480 consideration. Hi Anna, how are you today? hi i'm doing okay i'm just i'm enjoying my 0:00:23.120,0:00:30.240 my day off with my husband good yeah  anna tell us a bit about yourself 0:00:32.000,0:00:39.440 well uh i'm recently married as of last year  made it just in time before the virus made it 0:00:39.440,0:00:53.520 uh um and i am currently working from home full  time so i don't see outside very much but uh 0:00:53.520,0:01:03.920 i usually am i usually don't i'm not the type of  person that enjoys the type the crowds uh um i 0:01:03.920,0:01:13.680 i've always i i don't really hang out too much uh  a lot like i i don't go to parties i never really 0:01:14.800,0:01:21.600 had a similar lifestyle to folks that were  in their 20s. i was different from my peers 0:01:22.640,0:01:27.520 uh i can relate to that i've said that the virus  hasn't really changed my life much i just everyone 0:01:27.520,0:01:34.080 else is doing what i normally do so absolutely  it's funny as soon as you said that anna i thought 0:01:34.080,0:01:38.560 oh that describes me really well as well so me too  i've always been disciplined i'm not sure anna if 0:01:38.560,0:01:43.680 you're familiar with this expression uh on your  side of the pond but here i've often been called 0:01:43.680,0:01:49.920 old before my time does that mean anything to  you yeah it does yes apparently what's me too 0:01:49.920,0:01:55.920 we found each other perfectly here i don't  think i fit the stereotype of folks in my 0:01:55.920,0:02:03.360 generation sure what age are you anna i'm 29 yeah  you're just a little bit older than me i'm 28 0:02:04.560,0:02:08.080 and and somewhat younger than i am  yeah well maybe not going to specifics 0:02:10.320,0:02:13.600 and we can tell from your accent you're not  clearly not from scotland as we are where 0:02:13.600,0:02:18.000 are you from in particular  i'm from the united states 0:02:18.000,0:02:24.640 on the east coast um in the state of  pennsylvania um in the city of steel pittsburgh 0:02:27.360,0:02:35.200 yeah i live in one of the uh more in the rest they  call this area the rust belt so there's a lot of 0:02:35.200,0:02:46.160 aging buildings um a lot of uh how do i describe  it uh there's a a lot of abandoned steel mills but 0:02:46.720,0:02:54.400 a lot of things were revitalized and a lot of our  economy turned into health care and education so 0:02:54.400,0:02:58.800 we had a similar thing in in britain where it went  from kind of manufacturing and things like that 0:02:58.800,0:03:03.840 to more service-based things and it's very similar  it'll be a similar thing for that area i think 0:03:04.480,0:03:10.480 yeah so anna you said you're 29 and  you recently married just before Covid 0:03:11.600,0:03:20.960 yeah we made it just in time i had no idea Covid  was uh i don't think anyone knew Covid was going 0:03:20.960,0:03:29.760 to come around that time i i we i thought getting  married in 2019 was a bit of an off number but 0:03:31.120,0:03:39.600 uh me and my husband at the time were having a  slight disagreement and a comment came up in the 0:03:39.600,0:03:47.680 beginning of 2019 and it was like we're not even  married yet and we had been together uh i think uh 0:03:47.680,0:03:56.720 that time almost seven years um so i said you  know what by the end of this year we're gonna be 0:03:56.720,0:03:59.840 married 0:04:04.320,0:04:11.440 that was well done yeah it was well done under  the wire yeah so anna you don't have any kids at 0:04:11.440,0:04:19.040 present is that right correct okay and we'll talk  more about that and what kind of factors there are 0:04:19.040,0:04:23.120 in that as well but i wonder if we could start off  maybe we're talking about about your upbringing 0:04:23.120,0:04:28.160 you mentioned yourself being um i'm not sure if  introverts may be the right word but certainly 0:04:28.160,0:04:34.800 not feeling as if you did the same sort of things  as your peers what was your life like growing up 0:04:36.320,0:04:45.120 oh growing up uh i i had trouble making friends  uh i didn't really get into fights per se 0:04:46.000,0:04:52.240 but i had trouble getting close to people  that were outside of my family my brothers 0:04:52.240,0:05:01.120 and sisters and my cousins were my best friends  uh those were ...
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • ChildFree - Planning For Tubal Ligation Surgery

    ChildFree - Planning For Tubal Ligation Surgery
    Jan 2 2021
    Jilly is childfree (by choice) so has opted for bilateral salpingectomy (tube removal) surgery as an alternative to contraception. This method of sterilization is permanent contraception to allow her to remain childfree/never have children and prevents the need for other birth control to prevent pregnancy. Her family don't know that they plan to remain a childless couple - find out all about her decision and how she plans to tell them. Transcript: ----more---- 0:00:00.080,0:00:05.280 hi welcome to the show as part of this series  on the decision about whether to have children 0:00:05.280,0:00:09.360 we're joined today by julie who's here to  give us her insights we're not here to make 0:00:09.360,0:00:14.160 any particular judgment just to chat about some  of the factors which real people just like you 0:00:14.160,0:00:21.280 take into consideration hi guys how are you  doing hi ryan how are you good to see you again 0:00:21.280,0:00:24.720 i'm good thank you and we don't  talk enough paul we need to fix that 0:00:24.720,0:00:27.280 well this is what we're here for this  is why we're doing life is it just me 0:00:27.920,0:00:32.400 this is what it's all about well we're about to  find out julie's here to talk to us julie tell us 0:00:32.400,0:00:41.520 a bit about yourself uh so i'm obviously female  um we'll be 30 later this month so close enough 0:00:41.520,0:00:47.600 well happy birthday for when that comes  i'm getting old um you said that yeah well 0:00:50.640,0:00:57.200 i don't want kids so i'm going for  surgery instead and your surgery is this 0:00:57.200,0:01:04.880 friday four days from now as of this recording  tell us a bit then just briefly about the actual 0:01:04.880,0:01:11.760 surgery and what we'll delve into that later  yeah so i am going for a bilateral self-injecting 0:01:11.760,0:01:18.480 if that's how i say it or by self so they're going  to entirely remove both looping tubes um which 0:01:19.760,0:01:23.440 it's just it's better than a lot of the  other traditional tubal operations because 0:01:24.080,0:01:28.080 much less much lower chance for like ectopic  pregnancies it lowers your risk for a lot of 0:01:28.080,0:01:35.600 ovarian cancers on top of just no babies okay  okay they had to do a lot of research because 0:01:35.600,0:01:39.360 there are quite a few options on exactly how  to get different ways to get sterilized well 0:01:39.360,0:01:44.080 that was going to be one of our questions  and obviously it still is it still is yes 0:01:46.320,0:01:52.480 um self-injecting me that's the the procedure  you're having yep yep i said that right great 0:01:52.480,0:01:59.440 yeah and bilateral self-injecting so and some  people would think that that's quite an extreme 0:01:59.440,0:02:04.160 step to take obviously you've not got there  lightly you've taken a lot of consideration 0:02:04.160,0:02:09.040 you just said that you've done a research what  were the other options could you kind of outline 0:02:09.040,0:02:14.000 some of the other options that were available  so i mean some of the other like more well not 0:02:14.000,0:02:18.240 popular but more commonly known ways i'm doing  is just doing a tubal ligation which is either 0:02:18.880,0:02:23.920 they pinch or use little clips on the tubes  basically just block any flow or they'll 0:02:23.920,0:02:30.480 just cut small portions off and like cauterize  the ends um but there's a lot more things can 0:02:30.480,0:02:34.480 go wrong with that like you said higher risk of  ectopic pregnancies if they use devices there's 0:02:34.480,0:02:40.400 a chance of your body not liking the fact that  there's devices in there and getting infections 0:02:40.400,0:02:46.000 or sometimes the eclipse will move right and  margaret so that just none of that sounded fun 0:02:48.080,0:02:53.120 so just by looking at all of the pros and cons i  wanted to do with the the bicep instead and then 0:02:53.120,0:02:58.720 when i went in for my consultation the ob gyn  i went to said that they pretty much only do 0:02:58.720,0:03:03.920 biceps now anyway because they're much  shorter surgery they're easier to do and 0:03:04.640,0:03:07.920 mainly because the added benefits  of lowering ovarian cancer risks so 0:03:08.800,0:03:14.720 at least in my area that's the more common one  to go for okay and where is it roughly you don't 0:03:14.720,0:03:19.120 have to give us like your postal address  or anything roughly where are you located 0:03:19.120,0:03:24.640 i am in new hampshire in the united states  okay okay and but we're going to delve into 0:03:26.240,0:03:32.880 the the surgery i guess itself and some of  the reasons um later on but i wanted to just 0:03:32.880,0:03:37.200 get to know a little bit about you and your  your upbringing before and and how you sort 0:03:37.200,0:03:40.880 of got to this place if that's the right way of  putting it so if you could start there please 0:03:41.520,0:03:47.680 so yeah...
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    38 mins
  • I'm ChildFree - My Tubal Ligation Surgery Experience

    I'm ChildFree - My Tubal Ligation Surgery Experience
    Jan 2 2021
    "How dare you have a uterus and not use it!" Childfree (by choice) Jilly recently underwent bilateral salpingectomy surgery - a type of sterilization to allow her to remain childfree/never have children. This alternative to contraception avoids the need for other types of birth control to prevent pregnancy. Now that she is sterilized and will remain a childless couple, she tells Paul & Ryan about her surgery. Transcript:----more---- 0:00:00.400,0:00:05.200 and with the power of the internet power of a a  magical time machine that is the internet we are 0:00:05.200,0:00:10.880 here jumping forward two and a bit weeks  and we're back with jelly and ryan hi guys 0:00:13.280,0:00:16.080 and obviously for continuity  we're in exactly the same outfits 0:00:18.160,0:00:22.560 i should have thought about that shouldn't we  yeah i don't think i was wearing a white t-shirt 0:00:22.560,0:00:27.280 the last time but anyway too i do have a a better  mustache than i did you remember i was having to 0:00:27.280,0:00:32.080 grow my mustache for movember the charity well  this is the final product what are the thoughts 0:00:33.680,0:00:38.400 yeah lots of growth i'm gonna keep them to  myself i knew you would i knew you would 0:00:38.960,0:00:45.600 that's a huge beard anyway whatever jelly good to  have you back how are you thank you i know pretty 0:00:45.600,0:00:51.520 good um yeah pretty much coming up on this  is week three i believe whatever recovery so 0:00:52.480,0:00:55.920 things are healing just taking  care of the incisions so 0:00:57.440,0:01:03.840 okay um talk us through then take us back  to the day of the op i remember messaging 0:01:03.840,0:01:06.960 you the night before just to say sort of good  luck looking forward to hearing how it goes 0:01:08.720,0:01:14.960 i know i know i set a reminder how did  the take us through that morning waking 0:01:14.960,0:01:19.280 up and the whole the whole process  yes um yeah so it wasn't about to 0:01:19.280,0:01:25.840 eat or drink anything from midnight until  surgery um so apart from having a raging headache 0:01:27.520,0:01:32.400 um but we went in first thing in the morning um my  husband came with me after they needed someone to 0:01:32.400,0:01:37.360 drive me there and back um and they were only  allowing people to bring one person with them 0:01:37.360,0:01:42.880 into the hospital anyway so that was him but i  let him stay for the whole thing which was nice 0:01:42.880,0:01:49.600 um but yeah so when got checked in they just did  like some general post off stuff got a post off 0:01:49.600,0:01:56.400 pre-op stuff got like my v put in stuff um that  was probably the longest weight was beforehand 0:01:56.400,0:01:59.600 getting into surgery just because they  still had some stuff they had to set up but 0:02:00.880,0:02:07.600 that was no big deal um i mean i pray up nurses  talk to me the surgeon came over to talk to me the 0:02:07.600,0:02:13.040 anesthesiologist came over to talk to me so pretty  much everyone came over and talked me through 0:02:13.040,0:02:18.640 their bits of it which i really appreciate because  i like knowing how things are going to go um 0:02:19.600,0:02:27.200 so we're really into surgery under pretty quickly  that went well um it's only maybe half an hour 0:02:27.200,0:02:33.360 i think for the whole like surgery time so  pretty quick um didn't take me that long all 0:02:33.360,0:02:36.720 to come back out of anesthesia and then just  wait around till they give them a paperwork 0:02:38.720,0:02:45.520 um but yeah the probably the most irritating after  effects was because they have to like fill your 0:02:45.520,0:02:52.000 abdomen with um gas so they have more room to work  with that then like presses against nerves up in 0:02:52.000,0:02:56.880 your abdomen causes a lot of like shoulder and  upper chest pain for a few days afterwards yeah 0:02:58.320,0:03:05.040 so that was part of the most uncomfortableness  healing afterwards um i had heard that was a 0:03:05.040,0:03:09.600 possibility so he's just prepared for it but it  was kind of just you know have some feeding pads 0:03:09.600,0:03:14.560 and waited out kind of thing but that was way more  bothersome than like any of the incision sites 0:03:15.120,0:03:21.040 well that and my throat after the intubation  tube but okay yeah that was pretty sore 0:03:21.840,0:03:26.880 but yeah it wasn't a big thing to do or  anything everyone was there was really nice and 0:03:27.920,0:03:30.320 i was definitely like the youngest  person in there for surgery 0:03:31.200,0:03:34.480 because i could see their their board was right  outside my recovery room when i was watching the 0:03:34.480,0:03:38.720 different like ages and things scroll through  which i'm like oh everyone's like or is it 50 0:03:38.720,0:03:45.200 years old so i don't know why i just found  that amusing but i was younger that day but 0:03:46.480,0:03:52.720 how are you feeling and...
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    24 mins

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