I was a workaholic through and through. Eventually, it all caught up to me.I kept telling my Copy Chief at Tony Robbins company that burnout would be the only way I would fail at this job.I constantly monitored my energy levels and quickly cut loose anything or person that drained my energy.I once went to the doctor while I was getting divorced and told him how fucked up my world was and how much stress I was dealing with. I was starting to get acid reflux from all the stress I was under. I thought I had a heart condition from the sharp pain in my chest.I mentioned I was seeing a girl who was stressing me out.He said, “Be selfish.”Indeed, I was so glad I broke up with that girl when I did because I recognized that she disturbed my peace and drained my energy, which would impact my work.I had finally smartened up about the impact my significant others have on my work.There is a direct connection between how much my significant other bothers me and the quality of my work.I learned this while my marriage was falling apart. I was too stressed out to work. I went from being the rising star in the company to being the bottom of the barrel.I was hanging on to my job for dear life. At the same time, my ex was actively trying to inflict as much pain on me as possible. I had several nasty run-ins with my in-laws as well.In retrospect, I realized that she wanted to punish me, and all of those arguments we had after I left were utterly pointless. They only served to cause me as much pain as possible on the way out.There I was, trying to save my marriage one last time.I should have cut her off immediately.I’ve learned that your inner child always takes note of when you fail to protect them. This was one such time. I failed to protect my income, and therefore, I lost it.This was the very last time I allowed myself to be taken on a roller coaster like that. When my ex decided to throw me out… I knew in the back of my mind that this would affect my job.But I didn’t have it clear enough that I didn’t deserve that treatment.I was like a dog getting its face rubbed in s**t.I was willfully enabling her to add insult to injury. To make myself an even bigger Martyr.In my defense… this was the season when I was transitioning from Chauffeur to Mike Tyson. I was wobbling back and forth between the two mindsets.I was in an unstable place mentally and emotionally.After that, I decided to take Wellbutrin.This is an antidepressant that also works as an ADHD treatment. I take it to protect my mood, so I never find myself in a place like that againI learned a lot about burnout and how to manage it. I learned some exquisite lessons.Every eighteen months or so, I get burnt out.There’s no need to tell you what happens.You know.Just getting out of bed can be a challenge.You get a whole night’s rest but are still tired the next day.Nothing seems to restore your energy.WTF is up with that?Burnout is your body’s way of saying you’ve gone too far.It assumes you’re not in touch with your inner child.You’ve ignored their needs for so long; now your body’s shutting down.It’s very easy to get sucked into a workaholic environment.I once worked at a place where my Copy Chief went on a two-week vacation. Yet she was still present at every morning meeting while on vacation, with her kids in the background.F**K THAT COMPANY.This is late-stage capitalism, y’all.They want to work you to death like a beast of burden and then replace you with someone cheaper at the first opportunity.Some companies are all too happy to exploit you for long hours and punish you for not being part of the cult.Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.Late-stage capitalism is dog-eat-dog.The rich exploit the poor.The last thing I want to do is find more reasons for an employer to use me.That’s what buying into the workaholic company culture gets you.I struggled with burnout because I worked too much. When I started as a freelance copywriter, I was dangerously inexperienced.Like Abe Lincoln, I failed to the top.To compensate for my lack of experience, I worked seven days a week for several months.All work and no pay make Jack a dull boy. So, I was depressed.Why was I so driven?There were easier ways to make money.That’s the part that needed healing.I had no understanding of that.I just knew I was driven, and nothing would stop me.As Master Hakuin says in Master Hakuin’s Chant in Praise of Zazen:* What is it we seek?* What is it we lack?* The cause of our suffering is ego delusion.I’m a workaholic because I’ve used work as a coping strategy for growing up in a dysfunctional home. From a very young age, I’ve felt compelled to leave.I was twelve, and I had no money. I realized that being financially dependent on my father kept me tied to him and tied to this miserable family dynamic.I started thinking two or three steps ahead from the very beginning, which gave me a great advantage.I’ve met more than a few trust fund babies with businesses that ...
