Meet Judge Wesley Tibbals

May it please the court! We’ve got a special guest today who knows a thing or two about the workings of divorce court, and that’s because he’s a judge! That’s right, we figured it was about time that we had an actual judge on to make sure we’re not just making stuff up.
Judge Wesley Tibbals talks with Pete and Seth today about life behind the bench in divorce court. There’s a lot to talk about and Pete and Seth have a lot of questions. Why does it take so long for your divorce to work its way through the system? What’s a judge looking for from the litigants in front of them? What should you look for when searching for a good, experienced lawyer? And what should you expect from the court system?
It’s a wide-ranging conversation that will undoubtedly help anyone decide if they should go in front of a judge for their divorce and if so, how to better handle it. Enjoy!

About Judge Tibbals

Judge Tibbals has served his community for seven years as a Circuit Court Judge with fairness and respect to all. Judge Tibbals, a fourth-generation Floridian, was appointed Circuit Court Judge in the Thirteenth Judicial Circuit in his jurisdiction in 2015. He has presided over family and civil dockets, as well as criminal, delinquency, and dependency court matters in first appearance court. In 2017, and again in 2018, Judge Tibbals received temporary appointments to serve as an Associate Judge on the Second District Court of Appeal. On July 30, 2017, the Chief Judge appointed Judge Tibbals as the Associate Administrative Judge in the Family Law Division and he remains in this position.
In 2018, Judge Tibbals was recognized for his efforts to promote alternative dispute resolution methods in family law cases by Next Generation Divorce, in which he is an honorary member. In 2019, the Hillsborough County Bar Association Family Law Section recognized Judge Tibbals with an award for his extraordinary contributions to family law. Judge Tibbals is a faculty member of the Conference of Circuit Judges, where he is able to teach continuing judicial education courses to judges throughout Florida. In March 2020, Judge Tibbals was one of the first judges in the state to begin using the Zoom videoconferencing platform to allow family law litigants in Hillsborough County access to the courts to resolve their family law cases.
Prior to his appointment, Judge Tibbals was a trial attorney at Akerman LLP for over 15 years representing Fortune 500 companies, small businesses, and individuals. He began his career as an associate with Thompson, Sizemore, Gonzalez & Hearing, P.A., representing private and public sector employers with an emphasis on federal court litigation. He has broad experience in federal and state courts handling business disputes, contractual claims, products liability and labor and employment issues. He was recognized by Super Lawyers Magazine and Florida Trend for his expertise in business litigation.
During his time in private practice, Judge Tibbals committed hundreds of hours to pro bono service as an attorney ad litem in juvenile delinquency court, assisting children in navigating court proceedings when a parent or guardian was unavailable. In 2014, he was recognized by the Hillsborough County Bar Association for his pro bono legal service with the Jimmy Kynes Award, the highest award for pro bono service in Hillsborough County. Judge Tibbals earned his bachelor of arts and juris doctor degrees from the University of Florida, and is a proud Florida Gator.

Links & Notes

• Judge Tibbals’ Website
• Judge Tibbals on Instagram and Facebook
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• 00:00 - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• 00:26 - Meet Judge Tibbals
• 02:50 - Divorce From the Judge's Perspective
• 05:06 - It's Never One-Sided
• 06:50 - Staying Grounded
• 08:26 - Hammers, Not Scalpels
• 10:09 - The Battlefield
• 11:43 - Reading the Signals
• 17:22 - Sponsor: Soberlink
• 19:46 - Judicial Stagefright
• 24:53 - Humanity and Control
• 26:15 - Court Organization
• 28:47 - The Time It Takes
• 39:14 - Being Real
• 41:13 - Handling Questionable Lawyers
• 45:24 - How to Determine Lawyer's Skills
• 47:27 - More About Judges in the System
• 50:05 - Election Season
• 58:06 - Socials and Wrap-Up

Meet Neale Godfrey

When a relationship ends and you haven’t been the one taking care of the finances, figuring out how to move forward can be paralyzing. Luckily, it’s a learned skill and on today’s episode, Pete and Seth are joined by New York Times #1 Best-Selling author Neale Godfrey to discuss finances, kids, gray divorce and more.

It’s important to understand your own finances and to learn how to handle them moving forward. It’s also incredibly important to keep your kids in the loop so they’re aware of how finances are going to affect them. (They are very id-focused beings, particularly the younger ones, after all.)

It’s important to never confuse your net-worth with your self-worth. You’re not the money you earn, or don’t earn. Money is about choice. Live within your means. And what about having your kids work? These are lessons for you to learn and to teach your children.

We also touch on gray divorce and why the numbers are growing for couples divorcing after the age of 50.

Our conversation ranges the gamut in today’s episode, but there are lots of juicy tidbits to help you learn how to be more financially healthy after your divorce, regardless of how old you are or if you have kids when it happens.

More About Neale

Neale Godfrey is the financial voice for women and multi-generations as well as a world-renowned speaker and author, who has inspired millions through her work. She motivates, trains, educates, and frankly, entertains by delivering her core message: Empower yourself to take control of your financial life. Neale brings an important perspective on connecting the financial dots for families, which she delivers to thousands of corporate audiences and financial advisors.

As the creator for the topic of “kids and money” and trailblazer for financial literacy, Neale Godfrey has worked tirelessly over the last 35 years to connect the family around the topic of money.

Neale began her journey in 1972 as one of the first female executives at The Chase Manhattan Bank (the world’s largest bank at the time). She later went on to become President of The First Women’s Bank and founder of The First Children’s Bank in FAO Schwarz. Neale was also involved with the Institute for Youth Entrepreneurship in Harlem.

Neale is the New York Times #1 Best-Selling Author of Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children and has authored a total of 28 books to empower kids and their parents to have a healthy relationship with money.

Neale has represented global companies as a National Spokesperson; including Microsoft, UPS, Lincoln Financial, Fidelity, AIG, Nuveen, Aetna, Coca-Cola, among others. She has also appeared as a financial expert on programs such as; The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, and The Today Show, on major news networks such as; CNN, CNBC, and FOX Business, and starred in the PBS Special, “Your Money, Your Children, Your Life."

Neale is a popular contributor for Kiplinger, a former contributor to Forbes.com and Huffington Post, and a former Nationally Syndicated Columnist for the Associated Press.

Neale has served on White House and Governor’s Task Forces, as well as on the Board of Directors of UNICEF, UNWomen, Young President’s Organization — YPO (Member since 1987), The NY Board of Trade, and Morris County Chamber of Commerce.

Links & Notes

• Neale Godfrey’s Website
• Neale on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• 00:00 - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• 00:26 - Meet Neale Godfrey
• 01:45 - Financial Struggle Post-Divorce for Women
• 04:57 - A Learned Skill
• 06:10 - A Gendered Conversation
• 08:32 - Net-Worth vs. Self-Worth
• 13:01 - It's a Business
• 13:55 - Hidden Assets
• 18:29 - Pre-Nups
• 27:16 - Sponsor: Soberlink
• 29:46 - Kids, Money, and Divorce
• 37:52 - Kids and Jobs
• 42:13 - Gray Divorce

“We owe it to them to ensure they’re not collateral damage due to this divorce.”

Meet Sarah Armstrong

Sarah works at Google but decided as a side gig to write her book “The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved” largely because it gave her the opportunity to share what she’d learned during her own divorce with others. And that’s not to say her divorce was a cakewalk. It was hard. It provided challenges for her, her ex, and their daughter. But through it all, they maintained the belief that they had to do what was best for their daughter. Hence, the good divorce.

Seth and Pete talk to Sarah about the decision to make the divorce a good one and how it shaped everything from that point forward. They talk about what it means to ‘do what’s best for the children.’ They discuss logistics, scheduling conflicts, and soccer games. They also talk about the battles over things like first right of refusal.

It’s also important to think beyond the years your kids will be under your roofs. What about when they’re older? Are you working to build that relationship beyond 18? How should you act when they’re young? Should you consider counseling for your child?

It’s a wide ranging conversation that digs into a lot of topics that can help you as you work through your own divorce.

About Sarah

Sarah Armstrong, good divorce proponent and author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce, is vice president, global marketing operations, at Google and proud mom of Grace, who will be a sophomore in college in the fall of 2022. Sarah is a mentor to other women in business, and longtime volunteer at various nonprofit organizations, including Jack & Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation, Georgetown Alumni Admissions Program and Trinity Table Soup Kitchen.

Prior to joining Google, Sarah was a partner at McKinsey & Co. and worked at The Coca-Cola Company in global marketing for twenty years, where she led Worldwide Agency Operations across 200 countries. Sarah started her career at Leo Burnett (Chicago) in Media. Sarah’s work has been recognized around the world, resulting in her being named one of Ad Age’s “Women to Watch” and included in Ad Age’s Book of Tens (“Top Ten Who Made Their Mark in 2009”).

Sarah was raised in Birmingham, Michigan with two younger brothers and happily married parents (for over fifty years and still going strong). She attended Georgetown University, as a scholarship athlete, earning a Bachelor of Science degree from the School of Business Administration with a major in marketing. She was a four-year starter on the Georgetown University Volleyball Team.

Sarah loves traveling the world and has been fortunate to travel to 55+ countries. She enjoys exploring new cities with Grace whenever possible. Sarah lives in San Francisco.

Links & Notes

• Sarah’s Website
• Find Sarah on LinkedIn or Facebook
• The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved
• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!

• 00:00 - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• 00:26 - Meet Sarah Armstrong
• 01:18 - Advocating for Good Divorce
• 04:30 - Her Own Divorce
• 06:45 - Having a Good Divorce
• 12:56 - Minimizing the Gaps
• 17:35 - Sponsor: Soberlink
• 19:58 - Other Routines
• 24:35 - Kids Adapting to Change
• 29:21 - Making New Lives Work Apart
• 30:22 - Right of Refusal
• 31:45 - Showing Consolidarity
• 35:25 - Navigating as a Working Mom
• 38:22 - Universal Truths
• 39:44 - Introducing New Significant Others
• 42:39 - When They Struggle With Change
• 48:01 - Counseling
• 49:15 - Your Family of Choice
• 52:09 - Sarah's Book and Website