Episodes

  • EP 256: Press Play When Anxious▶️~ 3 Guided Meditations to Calm Pre-Meal Panic + Body Image Struggles in ED Recovery

    EP 256: Press Play When Anxious▶️~ 3 Guided Meditations to Calm Pre-Meal Panic + Body Image Struggles in ED Recovery
    Dec 9 2025
    Sis, this season can be all the chaos. It's time you be present with yourself, take a step back, allow yourself rest, peace, and grace. Friend, you owe you. This episode is DIFFERENT. This isn't just host Lindsey Nichol talking - it's Lindsey GUIDING you through 3 calming meditations specifically designed for your recovery journey. Save this episode. Bookmark it. Come back to it whenever you need it. This time of year, anyone can feel overwhelmed by holiday chaos. But for someone with an eating disorder, the anxiety can be crippling. Pre-meal panic. Body image triggers. Overwhelming thoughts that feel impossible to quiet. Lindsey has walked this path. She knows how overwhelming those thoughts and feelings get, especially during the holidays. That's why she created these simple, powerful meditations to be your companion whenever you need to: Calm pre-meal anxiety before eating with familyGround yourself during a body image crisisShow yourself compassion on the hardest days Whether you're struggling with pre-meal anxiety, having a hard day with your body image, or just need a moment to ground yourself - press play on this episode. Come back to this episode when you're feeling overwhelmed, when you're feeling not enough, and when that anxiety feels like it's on overdrive. The 3 Guided Meditations: Meditation #1: Pre-Meal Calming Meditation (For Anxiety Before Eating) When to use this: Before lunch or dinner when anxiety feels highestWhen sitting down with family for mealsWhen you feel panic rising about food choicesWhen the ED voice is loudest before eating What Lindsey guides you through: Finding comfortable seated positionGentle breathing to become presentNoticing thoughts like clouds passing in the skyHand-on-heart, hand-on-belly groundingAffirmations: "I give my body permission to be nourished""I choose to feed my body with compassion""Food is my medicine. This is a good thing""This is one step in my recovery journey" Breathing mantras: "I am stronger than the eating disorder voice""I have the wisdom to nourish my body""I am more than my body" Duration: ~5 minutes Key truth: These quiet moments of connection with yourself are powerful. This helps you separate from the ED voice and reconnect with your TRUE self. Meditation #2: Body Image Grounding Meditation (For Body Hate Days) When to use this: When you're having a hard body image dayWhen "feeling fat" is overwhelmingWhen critical thoughts about your body won't stopWhen you need to reconnect with gratitude for your body Important reminder: "Feeling fat" isn't actually a feeling - it's often your body's way of telling you something else is going on emotionally. What Lindsey guides you through: Comfortable position (seated or lying down)Noticing where your body contacts the ground (grounding)Body scan from feet to head with gentle awareness: Feet: Connecting to the ground, wiggling toesLegs: Getting stronger, supporting youCore/Stomach: Your true strength, your center (not to be micromanaged)Chest: Rising and falling with each breathArms/Hands: Tools to express love, create amazing thingsHead: Houses thoughts AND dreams, desires, wishes Acknowledging judgmental thoughts without judgmentThanking your body for what it allows you to doSelf-hug + gratitude: "Thank you for allowing me to walk, breathe, be grounded" Key practice: When critical thoughts arise, simply say "I notice I'm having a judgmental thought," then return to observing with curiosity. Duration: ~7 minutes Key truth: Your body is not your enemy. It's not up for negotiation. It's your HOME - where you live. Meditation #3: Self-Compassion Meditation (For Suffering + Hard Moments) When to use this: When you're feeling overwhelmedWhen you don't honor or love yourselfWhen you don't know where to turn nextWhen you need to be as kind to yourself as you'd be to a friend What Lindsey guides you through: Thinking of a recent challenge in recoveryNoticing emotions and physical sensationsHand over heart, feeling steady heartbeatAffirmations: "This is a moment of suffering""Suffering will pass - it's part of life and recovery""I can be kind to myself in this process" Imagining a friend facing the same challengesAsking: "What would I say to them? How would I support them?"Offering yourself that same grace: "I'm doing the best I can""Recovery takes time""I'm worthy of patience and understanding" Key practice: You deserve the same kindness you'd offer your friend, mom, or sister. Duration: ~5 minutes Key truth: Your ED voice may be loud this season, but it doesn't have to control you or your actions. Key Reminders Throughout: Thoughts Are Like Clouds: They can come in (like your breath) and flow out (like your exhale) without you grabbing onto them. Your Truth: These thoughts can pass like clouds in the skyYou are MORE than these thoughtsThis voice is NOT your truthYou can choose recovery in this exact momentYour worth will NEVER be determined by food or weightYou are SAFE here For Beginners: This isn't ...
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    16 mins
  • EP 255.5: 11 Recovery Wins That Have Nothing to Do with the Scale (Celebrate Your Small Victories)🎉

    EP 255.5: 11 Recovery Wins That Have Nothing to Do with the Scale (Celebrate Your Small Victories)🎉
    Dec 5 2025
    Sister, friend, we've got to celebrate all that you're accomplishing in eating disorder recovery. And one of those accomplishments? Maybe you're listening to today's show and starting to recognize this is a problem in your life. Celebrate that win. Your life has been measured around LESS. Less food, less weight, less energy. You're more successful by being less, running on less, weighing less, consuming less. But today, we're celebrating victories that have nothing to do with the scale. Host Lindsey Nichol shares 11 recovery wins to celebrate that measure MORE goodness in your life - not lack, not weighing less, not being less. Because girlfriend, you're gaining so much more than the weight you're terrified to gain. This process of recovery, of letting yourself BE (not letting yourself go, but surrendering to who you truly are inside) - that's what we're celebrating today. Stop measuring your worth by a number. Start celebrating these wins. The 11 Recovery Wins to Celebrate: Win #1: When You Eat MORE Celebrate: That snack. Adding nuts to your oatmeal. Adding something versus restricting. Truth: When you eat more, you think bigger. Your mind uses fuel to function. Action: Add one extra thing today - more protein, more than coffee for breakfast, something. Win #2: When You Challenge THAT Thought The thought: "You shouldn't have had that. Now you have to wait until dinner. You need to run an extra hour." Celebrate: When you sit that thought down and tell it to shut up. Truth: "Not today. I'm not running 45 minutes because I had carbs. I'm taking a walk and nourishing my body." Win #3: When You Face a Fear Food Not: Going from nothing to 50 donuts (that's not what we're doing). Celebrate: Integrating something that's been a struggle. Breaking a rigid rule. Examples: Having cashews at dinner when you only "allowed" almonds at breakfast. Two tablespoons of peanut butter instead of one. Action: Try something outside your normal rigid routine. Eat at a different time. Try a new snack. Get conscious with your eating. Win #4: When You Get Intuitive and Reflect Celebrate: Journaling. Getting present with your feelings. Truth: "Today sucks. I don't want to gain weight. I'm feeling heavy. I'm not sure I'm all in. I'm going to let these feelings in, sit with them, and move on." Remember: We cannot heal what we cannot feel. Win #5: When You Exercise for Enjoyment (Or Don't Exercise at All) Celebrate: Moving your body for FUN, not punishment. Examples: Taking a walk just to reflect. Going to yoga to try something new. Skipping exercise to REST. Truth: No one said you weren't allowed. Grant yourself permission. Win #6: When You Want STRENGTH Over Skinny The shift: Wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier. Celebrate: When you're putting yourself first, nourishing your body, starting to believe in the process. Truth: You're going to feel liberated, clearer minded, STRONGER. That's winning. Win #7: When You Go Out to Dinner Without Anxiety Not overnight: You don't go from making excuses to avoid restaurants to enjoying dinner stress-free immediately. Celebrate: When you can be PRESENT in the moment. When you hear the nasty thoughts and say "Not for these 45 minutes." Win: Saying yes to events instead of isolating. Win #8: When You Get OFF the Scale The game changer: No longer allowing the scale to define your worthiness. Truth: Not looking at the number to define what you can eat today or what you have to restrict tomorrow. Celebrate: If you're not weighing yourself every second and you're starting to lay that down - that's MASSIVE. Win #9: When You Notice More Energy and Better Sleep Celebrate: Having more brain function. Getting clearer, more sound sleep. Truth: Your body's not running on SILENCE anymore. Things underneath are working properly because you're nourishing yourself. Notice: Different energy spikes after eating. Give yourself props for this. Win #10: When You Let Go of Shame and Guilt After Meals Celebrate: "I gave myself permission to eat something I normally don't eat. I'm on this pathway to recovery. I know I'm fearful, but I'm creating a healthier place for me." Action: Set down the shame. Ask yourself: "What do I need to do right now to not let this consume me?" Win: That's MASSIVE. Celebrate that victory. Win #11: When You Get SUPPORT and Commit The biggest win: Acknowledging you need help and support. Truth: You weren't meant to do this alone. You just weren't. Question: Wouldn't you want help from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer? Key Takeaways: ✨ Your life has been measured by LESS - recovery is measured by MORE ✨ Eating disorders become a game - the more successful at restriction, the more achievement we feel ✨ We need to measure with a NEW measuring stick - small victories ✨ When you eat more, you think bigger - your mind needs fuel ✨ Challenge the thought - sit it down and tell it to shut up ✨ We cannot ...
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    23 mins
  • EP 255: Sis, Stop Identifying as Disordered! You're Not a Number, a Diagnosis, or a Label ~ Get Rooted in the RIGHT Identity for the New Year

    EP 255: Sis, Stop Identifying as Disordered! You're Not a Number, a Diagnosis, or a Label ~ Get Rooted in the RIGHT Identity for the New Year
    Dec 2 2025
    Girlfriend, if you want freedom from your eating disorder in the new year, you can't keep identifying AS the eating disorder. In this powerful new episode, host Lindsey Nichol gets vulnerable about being defined by labels - the number on the clothing tag, the OSFED diagnosis that made her feel "not sick enough," then the anorexia diagnosis that felt like she'd "earned" being officially sick. She shares the moment she realized the energy it took to be everyone's label was debilitating - and how everything changed when she stopped identifying as disordered and started living from her TRUE identity. Here's the truth: If you are defined by your labels, you're also confined by your labels. And no label - no matter how authoritative, no diagnosis, no number, no title - can contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become. You are NOT your eating disorder. You are NOT your diagnosis. You are NOT the number on the tag. You are a saint. An heir. A daughter of the Most High. Royalty. This episode will shift how you see yourself and give you a tangible exercise to discover your true identity as we head into a new year. What You'll Learn: The Label Trap Arianna Huffington's truth: No label can contain who you might becomeHow the ED voice defines you by WHAT you have/do, never WHO you areWhy being defined by labels means you're also confused by them Lindsey's Vulnerable Label Story Obsessed with the number on clothing tagsOSFED diagnosis: feeling "not sick enough"Anorexia diagnosis: feeling "officially sick"The shift: When being someone else's label became debilitatingRealizing she wasn't designed to be a label - she was designed to be HER The Labels Keeping You Stuck "Anorexic," "bulimic," "the girl with the eating disorder""The fit one," "the vegan," "the one on a diet""Perfectionist," "people pleaser," "the sick one"Even "recovered" can become a trapResearch: 80% of New Year's resolutions fail because they're rooted in outcomes, not identity Who God Says You REALLY Are Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)Chosen - royal priesthood, holy nation (1 Peter 2:9)Deeply loved - nothing can separate you (Romans 8:38-39)A new creation - old is gone, new is here (2 Corinthians 5:17)An heir - daughter of the King, royalty (Galatians 4:7) The New Year Identity Shift Most resolutions fail because they're about WHAT you want to doIdentity-based change is more powerful than outcome-based goalsYou can't identify as "the girl with the eating disorder" and expect to live freeWhen you change your identity, your behavior followsStop identifying as disordered, start identifying as WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE Your Tangible Exercise: Step 1: Write down FALSE labels you've been carrying (Anorexic, bulimic, the number on the tag, not good enough, the sick one, etc.) Step 2: Cross them ALL out (These are NOT your identity - they're lies that cannot contain who you might become) Step 3: Write down WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE I am fearfully and wonderfully madeI am chosenI am deeply lovedI am a new creationI am an heirI am a daughter of the Most HighI am royaltyI am a saintI am NOT my eating disorderI am created for freedom Step 4: Read these truths OUT LOUD (Let your ears hear what God says about you) Step 5: Live from THIS identity (Not from labels, not from diagnosis, not from what people call you) Key Takeaways: ✨ If you're defined by your labels, you're also confused by your labels ✨ No label can contain who you might become ✨ The ED voice tells you WHAT you have/do, never WHO you are ✨ You are NOT: your eating disorder, your diagnosis, your size, your past ✨ You ARE: a saint, an heir, a daughter of the Most High, royalty ✨ 80% of New Year's resolutions fail - identity-based change is what works ✨ Stop identifying as disordered, start identifying as who God says you are ✨ When you change your identity, your behavior follows Powerful Quotes: "No label, no matter how authoritative - one given to you by a doctor or a boss - no title, no dollar sign can ever contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become." - Arianna Huffington"If you are defined by your labels, you're also confused by your labels""The eating disorder voice loved defining me by WHAT I had and WHAT I did. But it never told me WHO I was""The energy it took to remain someone else's label was absolutely debilitating""I wasn't designed to be a label. I was designed to be ME""You weren't designed to be 'anorexic.' You were designed to be a daughter of the Most High""If you keep identifying as 'the girl with the eating disorder,' you will keep living like the girl with the eating disorder""You are NOT your eating disorder. You are a saint, an heir, a daughter of the Most High, royalty""When you're rooted in THAT identity - when that becomes your foundation - everything changes""You can't keep identifying AS the eating disorder and expect to live free""No label can contain the full perspective and constellation of who you ...
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    19 mins
  • EP 254:🖤Black Friday Special🖤~ Finding Gratitude in ED Recovery (Even When It's Hard) + The 3 Things I'm Most Thankful for Right Now

    EP 254:🖤Black Friday Special🖤~ Finding Gratitude in ED Recovery (Even When It's Hard) + The 3 Things I'm Most Thankful for Right Now
    Nov 28 2025
    Hey girlfriend, happy day after Thanksgiving. Maybe yesterday was really hard for you. Maybe you broke a boundary. Maybe you're beating yourself up right now. Maybe you barely survived Thanksgiving dinner and you're exhausted. You made it through. You're here. And today, we're going to talk about gratitude anyway. In this special mini episode, host Lindsey Nichol gets vulnerable about a season when she couldn't feel grateful for anything - when she was so trapped in her eating disorder that gratitude felt impossible. She shares what she's genuinely, deeply thankful for this season, and invites you to find your own gratitude too - even in the mess, even in the middle of the struggle. Because here's the truth: Gratitude doesn't require perfection. It doesn't require having it all together. It doesn't require that yesterday went well. Gratitude just requires being willing to look for the light, even in the hard. Plus: A special Black Friday opportunity to invest in yourself and your recovery (because the best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing). This is a quick dose of hope, vulnerability, and possibility for the day after Thanksgiving. You survived yesterday. Now let's find the gratitude together. In This Mini Episode, You'll Hear: If Yesterday Was Hard Maybe you broke a boundary at Thanksgiving dinnerMaybe you're beating yourself up todayMaybe you barely survived and you're exhaustedYou made it through - and that mattersToday we're talking about gratitude anyway When Gratitude Felt Impossible Lindsey's vulnerable truth: there was a season she couldn't FEEL gratitudeNot that she wasn't grateful - she literally couldn't access the feelingTrapped in the eating disorder, consumed, numb, disconnectedSitting at Thanksgiving tables saying generic things but not feeling itJust surviving, just getting through, counting and calculatingIf that's where you are today - Lindsey sees you, she's been youRecovery gave her gratitude back - the ability to not just say it but FEEL itThat's possible for you too What Lindsey Is Thankful For This Season: #1: Her Clients and Listeners (YOU) This community of women fighting for their freedomDoing the hard things, showing up even when it's scaryWomen in one-on-one coaching keeping promises to themselvesWomen in Recovery Collective supporting each otherMessages saying "this episode came at the exact right time"You inspire her every single dayYou remind her why she does this workYou remind her that recovery is possibleThank you for trusting her with your stories #2: Recovery Is a Journey That it's not linearConstantly evolving, growing, teachingUsed to think recovery meant "fixed" - arriving at perfectionBut recovery taught her it's not about arriving, it's the JOURNEYLearning and growing and evolvingBecoming more of who she's meant to be, one choice at a timeGrateful she gets to keep learning and discoveringGrateful she gets to mess up and extend herself graceRecovery isn't a destination - it's a way of lifeChoosing yourself every day #3: Keeping Promises This might sound small, but it's everythingFor so long, she broke every promise to herselfEvery broken promise reinforced she couldn't trust herselfRecovery taught her that keeping promises builds self-trustProves to herself she's worthy of showing up forNow she keeps her promises - not perfectly, but consistentlyThat has changed everythingShe can look in the mirror and know when she says she'll do something, she does itThat's freedom. That's recovery. Your Gratitude Invitation What are YOU thankful for this season?It might feel hard, especially if yesterday was roughBut look for it anyway - gratitude doesn't require perfectionMaybe you're thankful you made it through Thanksgiving (even if messy)Maybe you're thankful for one person who showed up for youMaybe you're thankful you're still here, still fighting, still tryingMaybe you're thankful for your body (even if you don't love it) because it's carrying youMaybe you're thankful that recovery is possible, even if you're not there yetFind it. Write it down. Speak it out loud. Let yourself feel it.Gratitude is a practice - the more we practice, the more we can access it Black Friday Investment Opportunity Today is Black Friday - you're getting a million emails about salesBut Lindsey wants to offer something different: investing in YOURSELFThe best investment you'll ever make is in your own healingTwo special opportunities available today through Sunday Special Black Friday Offers (Through Sunday Only): Option 1: Recovery Collective - $47/month What You Get: Live group coaching calls every other week (one hour each)Texting chat community for support between callsConnection with other women who GET ITAccountability, tools, and strategies for your recovery journey This is for you if: You need community and supportYou want guidance but aren't ready for one-on-one yetYou're tired of doing this aloneYou want connection with women who understand Join here: ...
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    12 mins
  • EP 253.5: When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your ED ~ How to Set Boundaries This Holiday Season

    EP 253.5: When Your Family Doesn't Understand Your ED ~ How to Set Boundaries This Holiday Season
    Nov 25 2025
    Your family doesn't understand your eating disorder. They make comments about your food. They trigger you at every holiday gathering. You're walking on eggshells, feeling attacked, and wondering if recovery is even possible around them. Girlfriend, this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable moment - her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time, saying "I had no idea what I was doing during your recovery. I just knew I needed to help you." This emotional conversation revealed a profound truth: families don't understand because they're trying to understand while dealing with their own pain. In this powerful episode, Lindsey addresses both sides of the struggle - what to do when your family doesn't understand your eating disorder, AND what loved ones need to know about supporting someone in recovery. Because the truth is, hurt people hurt people. And your family's "attacks" might actually be their way of coping with fear, denial, and their own feelings of helplessness. Whether you're dreading Thanksgiving dinner, anxious about Christmas gatherings, or just trying to survive family events without being triggered - this episode gives you the boundaries, scripts, and strategies you need to protect your recovery while staying connected to the people you love. This is for you if you're struggling. This is for you if you're supporting someone. This is for all of us navigating the complexity of family, recovery, and the holidays. In This Episode, You'll Hear: Lindsey's Mom's Tearful Phone Call Her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time"I had no idea what I was doing through your healing journey""I just knew you were my only child and I wasn't gonna have it"How she educated herself about eating disorders but still felt lost"Most of the time I had no idea what to do next"The growth that's happened over the years in their relationshipWhy this conversation was so powerful and needed The Truth About Family Not Understanding When your family doesn't understand, it can be paralyzingEven though Lindsey's mom didn't understand HOW to support her, she loved herThe message: Love doesn't always know how to show up correctlyThere is so much happening in your mind that family can't seeThe growth that happens over time as you work through recovery together Why This Matters for YOU You don't have to sit in this mess and let it become who you areThis is just a speed bump in your journeyIf you're a parent struggling with what to do next, you don't have to have it all figured outIt's important to get as educated as possible to support your loved oneThe importance of boundaries on BOTH sides during recovery The Reality: Your ED Affects Everyone This illness affects and hurts every person close to youYes, it's isolating, but it echoes to everyone around you like dominoesYou can be in your own feelings thinking it's not harming people, but it isIf you don't have energy, you're snapping at your kidsIf you aren't nourishing yourself, you're not giving your best to othersYou may be triggered by family comments, but they're dealing with their own emotions too Why Your Family Seems Unsupportive Everyone in your life has their own way of coping with what you're struggling withIf you're resisting recovery, your family might be resisting change tooThey may seem unsupportive or attacking, but this is THEIR way of handling and copingLindsey's mom was terrified and avoiding judgment from othersShe told NO ONE - not even immediate familyShe took it on as self-blame: "What did I do wrong as a parent?"Your illness is NOT isolated - it's impacting everyone, even if it feels isolating to you The Walking on Eggshells Reality Lindsey's mom felt like she was walking on eggshellsShe never knew if she'd trigger Lindsey or push her in the opposite directionShe never knew what mood Lindsey was in or what she'd eaten lastWhen she asked questions, it was to gain understandingBut Lindsey couldn't give that understanding because she was trying to figure it out herselfThere was positive intent 9 times out of 10Even anger or denial often comes from positive intent The Phases of Denial Lindsey was in denial of the disorderHer mom was ALSO in denial that this could happen to her childHer mom was angry - all those feelings were valid and realBeing in denial works in many ways on both sidesYou might not feel "sick enough" but that's not the pointEven loved ones go through phases of denial before they can help Hurt People Hurt People This is how pain gets passed on generation after generationLindsey doesn't want you to just break chains of EDShe wants you to break chains FOR your loved ones and yourselfMeet anger with kindness and understandingBe compassionate while honoring your pathThis is hard because we want to be left alone in the disorder Boundaries & Strategies You Can Set: Strategy #1: Use Your Voice Brené Brown says: "When we are busy pleasing and perfecting and ...
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    22 mins
  • EP 253: Lights Off, Shirt On? Let's Talk About Sex! 5 Reasons Eating Disorders Block Intimacy + What Exactly to Do About It

    EP 253: Lights Off, Shirt On? Let's Talk About Sex! 5 Reasons Eating Disorders Block Intimacy + What Exactly to Do About It
    Nov 21 2025
    Okay girlfriend, we're going there. We're talking about the thing nobody talks about when it comes to eating disorders: sex, intimacy, and what's happening (or NOT happening) in your bedroom. If you've noticed your sex drive has disappeared, you're avoiding intimacy with your partner, you can't be present during sex because you're too busy worrying about what your body looks like, or your relationship is suffering and you don't know why - this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol gets incredibly vulnerable about her own experience with blocked intimacy during her eating disorder - how she was physically shut down, emotionally unavailable, and performing instead of experiencing. She shares the research-backed reasons why eating disorders completely sabotage intimacy (spoiler: your body is literally in survival mode), and gives you practical tools to address it. This isn't just about emotional connection - we're talking about SEX. Physical intimacy. The bedroom. Your relationship with your spouse or partner. Because your eating disorder isn't just stealing your relationship with food and your body. It's stealing your relationship with your partner too. In this episode, you'll learn: The 5 reasons why intimacy gets completely blocked when you have an eating disorderWhy your libido has disappeared (hint: hormones, energy, survival mode)How body shame follows you into the bedroomWhy you can't experience pleasure when you're disconnected from your bodyHow to check your "intimacy temperature" and get honest about where you areExactly what to say to your partner about what's going onPractical steps to start reconnecting This is real talk. This is vulnerable. This is the conversation we need to have. So grab your favorite Tarjay journal and let's get into it. Content Note: This episode discusses sexual intimacy and eating disorders openly. Best listened to in a private space. In This Episode, You'll Hear: Lindsey's Vulnerable Truth What intimacy looked like when she was in the thick of her eating disorderBeing in a relationship while physically and emotionally shut downNot being present during sex - performing instead of experiencingConstantly worried about what her body looked like during intimacyAnxious thoughts: "Is my stomach flat enough? Can he feel certain parts? Should the lights be off? Should I keep my shirt on?"The realization: She wasn't experiencing intimacy, she was performing it The Research Nobody Talks About Women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunctionLower libido, avoidance of intimacy, relationship dissatisfaction are commonWe suffer in silence, fake it, avoid it, make excusesAnd our relationships suffer while we pretend everything is fine The Question We're Answering Why is intimacy blocked when you struggle with an eating disorder? And what can you actually DO about it? The 5 Reasons Why Intimacy Gets Blocked: Reason #1: Your Body is Literally Shutting Down When you restrict food, your body goes into survival modeSex, reproduction, intimacy are NOT essential for survivalYour hormones tank: estrogen, progesterone, testosterone plummetYour libido disappears completelyYou lose your period (amenorrhea)Your energy is non-existentResearch shows women with anorexia and bulimia have significantly disrupted hormone levelsAll of these hormones impact sexual desire and functionIf you have zero sex drive, if intimacy feels like a chore, if you're exhausted - your body is saying "I don't have resources for this"Your body is trying to keep you alive, not reproduce Reason #2: You're Disconnected From Your Body When you spend every day hating, criticizing, punishing your body - you disconnectYou dissociate from physical sensationsThe problem: You can't experience pleasure in a body you're not connected toIntimacy requires being IN your body, feeling sensations, being presentBut when you're trapped in your head analyzing what you look like - you're performing, not experiencingResearch: Women with eating disorders report significantly higher body image concerns during sexual activityThis directly correlates with lower sexual satisfaction and avoidance behaviorsYou can't enjoy intimacy when you're worried about appearance the entire time Reason #3: The Shame is Paralyzing Body shame doesn't stay in the mirror - it follows you into the bedroomWhen you feel disgusting in your own skin, how are you supposed to let someone see it? Touch it?The shame is so heavy that many women avoid intimacy altogetherMaking excuses, shutting down, pulling awayBeing vulnerable and exposed when you feel shame about your body is terrifyingIntimacy requires vulnerability - shame blocks that completely Reason #4: You're Emotionally Unavailable When you're consumed by an eating disorder, there's no room for anything elseYour entire mental and emotional bandwidth is taken up by food thoughts, body checking, planning, restricting, compensatingYou don't have capacity to show up emotionally for...
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    21 mins
  • EP 252.5: You Are Not Your Eating Disorder ~ Finding Your Worth & True Identity in Recovery **Must Listen Fav!**

    EP 252.5: You Are Not Your Eating Disorder ~ Finding Your Worth & True Identity in Recovery **Must Listen Fav!**
    Nov 18 2025
    Girlfriend, if you're struggling with self-worth, feeling like you'll never measure up, or can't separate yourself from your eating disorder - this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable and inspiring episode about finding worth from within and discovering your true identity beyond the eating disorder. After a powerful moment during yoga listening to Lauren Daigle's "You Say," Lindsey was reminded of a truth that changed everything: You are not your eating disorder. Your true, authentic self lives underneath all of that. In this encouraging episode, Lindsey walks you through: Why eating disorders consume our identity over timeHow to separate yourself from the disorderThe trap of measuring your worth by external things (weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions)A beautiful self-compassion exercise you can do right now when you feel unworthyHow to cultivate self-acceptance and kindness toward yourselfThe difference between your false identity (the ED) and your true identity (who you really are) This isn't just inspiration - this is an invitation to remember who you are beyond the eating disorder. To find worth from within. To practice self-compassion on the hard days. And to stop settling for a false version of yourself. If you're having a down day or need encouragement, grab your favorite Tarjay journal and let's sit together. You are worthy just because you are. In This Episode, You'll Hear: The Yoga Moment: Lauren Daigle's "You Say" How Lindsey was practicing yoga with Christian musicWhen Lauren Daigle's song "You Say" came on and brought all the feelsThe powerful lyrics about fighting voices that say "I'm not enough"How the song speaks about finding worth and identityThe theme of surrender: laying failures and victories at God's feetWhy Lindsey encourages everyone (Christian or not) to listen to this song The Worth Trap: Measuring Yourself by External Things How people struggling with eating disorders tie worth to external factorsThe trap: worth measured by weight, appearance, achievements, what others thinkWhy this gives temporary relief but not lasting joyHow it leaves you feeling you'll never measure up or be enoughThe cycle of seeking external validation that never satisfies Identity Consumed: You Are Not Your Eating Disorder The truth: Eating disorders consume our identity over timeIn order to truly heal, we must separate ourselves from the disorderYour true, authentic, best self is NOT the voice on repeat in your mindThat voice saying you're not enough, you'll never measure up, you're weak - that's the ED, not youYour real self, your warrior self, your champion self lives underneathThe false identity vs. the true identity Finding Worth From Within (And Above) Your identity must be rooted in who you are at your coreYour journey to internal worth is filtered by false identity right nowYour true, authentic identity lives underneath all of thatYou're worthy just because you ARE - you cannot earn itFor those with faith: trusting that God has you right where you areFor everyone: your worth is inherent, not earned Creating Awareness: The Identity Shift How to become aware that you are not your eating disorderObserving the difference between your thoughts and the ED's thoughtsGetting in community with people who support and build you upListening to music that reminds you of truthInvesting in yourself and seeking support (coaching, therapy, community)The importance of separating yourself from the disorder voice The Self-Compassion Research Kristin Neff: world-leading expert on self-compassionResearch on self-compassion's impact on positive mental healthWhat self-compassion means: treating yourself with love and understandingEven when life is full of pain and failure, choosing kind words over criticismChoosing to stop judging yourself and start honoring yourselfLeaning into believing there is more for you Mindful Awareness Practice Eating disorders are framed around exaggerated, negative beliefsThe ability to observe negative thoughts with clarity and opennessLearning that feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're just feelings and thoughtsIt's okay to not feel enough in this moment - that doesn't mean you aren't enoughThis moment doesn't define your foreverThe land of "not knowing what to do next" is temporary The Self-Compassion Exercise: Hand Over Heart A guided practice you can do right now (or come back to)Think of your biggest challenge - the thing you're most terrified ofPlace your hand over your heartFeel the warmth, the touch, the beatAcknowledge: You're human. You're here. You have purpose. You're worthy just becauseLet the heaviness of the challenge be there - don't fight itBreathe in, breathe out the heavinessTalk to yourself with compassion: "This is just a season"Validate the hard: "This moment is so hard. This day is so much. I'm scared"Let the feeling sit, then breathe it out - it's temporaryOffer kindness as you would to your best friend or ...
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    19 mins
  • EP 252: "I Hate My Stomach, Now What?" Real Talk + 7 Tools for Your Food Freedom Journey🩷

    EP 252: "I Hate My Stomach, Now What?" Real Talk + 7 Tools for Your Food Freedom Journey🩷
    Nov 14 2025
    "Lindsey, I hate my stomach. I can't stop thinking about it. It's ruining my day, my mood, my recovery. What do I do?" If your stomach is your biggest trigger in recovery - if you can't stop looking at it, obsessing over whether it looks bigger, spiraling every time you see your reflection - this episode is for you, girlfriend. Host Lindsey Nichol gets real about stomach hate in recovery and shares something her client needed to hear today: "I may not love my stomach every day, but if I'm being honest? I didn't love my stomach every day when I was in the trenches of my eating disorder either." So here's the question: Which hard do you want? Hard #1: Hating your stomach while you're restricting, obsessing, body checking, over-exercising, and missing your life. Hard #2: Sometimes not loving your stomach, but being FREE. Living your life. Eating with family. Being present. Having energy. Both are hard. But only one leads to freedom. In this episode, Lindsey shares her own stomach struggles - how she used to search for evidence it was "blowing up," how it would send her into spirals of restriction and over-exercise, and what she does NOW on the days when she doesn't love her stomach. Plus, she gives you 7 practical tools you can use on your hardest days. This is real talk with practical help. No toxic positivity. No "just love yourself." Just honest truth and actionable tools for when your stomach triggers you. In This Episode, You'll Hear: Lindsey's Stomach Story: The Disorder Days How she was super conscious of her stomach feeling or looking biggerSearching for evidence it was "blowing up" - every mirror, reflection, windowThe spirals: restriction, over-exercise, mood switchesFeeling out of control and reacting - being short or avoidant with loved onesHow stomach hate controlled her entire day, every day The Truth Bomb: Choose Your Hard Hard #1: Hating your stomach while trapped in the eating disorderHard #2: Sometimes not loving your stomach but being FREEThe reality: Even at her lowest weight, Lindsey STILL didn't love her stomachThe question: What other options do you have?Why you have to choose which hard you want to live with Why the Stomach Specifically? Why the stomach is such an easy target for self-criticismHow society and social media have trained us to hate our stomachsWhy the stomach becomes the "safe" target instead of dealing with real feelingsThe truth: Restriction makes stomach issues WORSE (digestion, bloating)Reality check: Stomachs are SUPPOSED to change throughout the dayAren't stomachs supposed to be FULL? That's their job What Lindsey Does NOW on Hard Days Wears baggy clothes, not restrictive clothingAvoids opportunities to stare in the mirror and body checkReminds herself of the truth: stomachs are allowed to changeThinks about her little girl self who never cared about her stomachRemembers being pregnant and LOVING watching her stomach growAccepts that not loving her stomach doesn't mean she's failed The Shift That Changed Everything The realization: She was NEVER going to like her stomach at any size or weightHer stomach wasn't the problem - it was a tool for self-sabotageUsed stomach hate when feeling out of control or "not enough"The only way through was acceptance and perspective shiftUnderstanding that stomach hate is usually about something else entirely 7 Tools for Your Hardest Days Stop the Body Checking - Walk away from mirrors, put on baggy clothesAsk the Real Question - What am I really feeling? What am I avoiding?Function Over Form - Your stomach digests food, that's its jobRemember Your Little Girl Self - You didn't care about your stomach as a kidChoose Your Hard - Trapped and hating it OR free and sometimes not loving itWear Comfortable Clothes - Stop punishing yourself with restrictive clothingTalk Back to the Voice - "My stomach is allowed to change and that's okay" Key Takeaways: ✨ You didn't love your stomach in the disorder either - so what are you really choosing? ✨ There are two hards: choose yours - trapped with stomach hate OR free with occasional stomach discomfort ✨ Your stomach is not the problem - it's a symptom, a distraction from real feelings ✨ Restriction makes stomach issues WORSE - bloating, digestion problems increase with restriction ✨ Stomachs are supposed to change - throughout the day, after meals, when sitting vs standing ✨ The stomach is an easy target - easier to hate your stomach than deal with underlying fears ✨ You'll never be satisfied at any size - if stomach hate is really about control and self-sabotage ✨ Body checking makes it worse - the more you look, the more you spiral ✨ Function over form - your stomach's job is to digest food, not be flat 24/7 ✨ Little girl you didn't care - the goal isn't loving your stomach, it's living without it controlling you ✨ You don't have to love it to live - freedom doesn't require stomach love, just stomach acceptance Powerful Quotes from This Episode: "I may not love my ...
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    17 mins