In this episode we're exploring the strange phenomenon of feeling a sense of guilt, or a compulsion to do something, even when all common sense and our feelings are telling us we need to relax. There's a mix of cultural norms as well as ADHD traits at play here, which can make it even tougher to finally allow oneself to recharge.

In this episode:

• How the corporate world making a virtue out of busyness compounds the ADHD sense of "otherness".
• How relaxation can come from activities that are just sufficiently occupying yet relaxing at the same time.
• Why rest is even less rewarding for ADHD people.
• How an empty diary can induce anxiety.
• When even very busy periods still feel like slacking.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

In this episode we tackle something many ADHD people struggle with which is that hiding-to-nothing, perfectionism. I wondered my whole life where my perfectionism came from and it was until I received my diagnosis that I started to understand a bit more.

I mention Stephen Guise's book How to Be an Imperfectionist -- you can find it on Amazon.

In this episode:

• The ways that perfectionism manifests itself.
• The role that rejection sensitive dysphoria plays in perfectionism.
• How emotional dysregulation triggers the perfectionist.
• Why perfectionism is an inevitable consequence of masking.
• What it feels like to become a "recovering perfectionist."

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

A lifelong struggle I've had is that I have a compulsion to apologise all the time for myself. It's almost like I have to apologise pre-emptively just for being odd or weird or something, and I've come to see the role that ADHD has played in this trait since my diagnosis. In this episode I dig into what I've discovered about this frustrating aspect of my personality, and where specifically I think it comes from.

In this episode:

• How rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) plays a role in over-apologising.
• How experiences when we're young impact our self-worth.
• Why reassurance is great, but never quite sinks in.
• Calibrating where the line is between masking and self-regulation.
• How it can be difficult to unmask even with friends.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

In one of the more raw and personal episodes, we're talking about the ongoing challenge of feeling comfortable speaking up about your traits to your work colleagues in order to relieve some of your stress and anxiety. Even when you've been very open about your diagnosis, this can still be very difficult at times.

In this episode:

• Why even being open about the big picture of having ADHD means disclosure can be stressful.
• Examples of how better understanding ones traits can be helpful, yet daunting to say out loud.
• How shame doesn't just disappear overnight.
• How many years of masking mean that your defences are very firmly established.
• The mindset to take to make progress on the slower job of getting used to talking about your traits.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

In this episode, we're talking about the strange phenomenon wherein you discover that your traits are becoming more pronounced after your ADHD diagnosis than they were before, and seem to be taking more managing. There's a couple of things going on here which we'll unpack.

In this episode:

• The role that confirmation bias plays.
• Understanding what skills regression means and its impact.
• How the initial euphoria of diagnosis is just the beginning.
• Some concrete examples of what this can look like.
• The importance of not making excuses.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

We're going back to basics in this episode with what I think is the fundamental thing to understand about ADHD and people with ADHD. When people ask about it, it's easy to get lost in the morass of traits, diagnosis, presentations and so on, but I think what I've come up with here is the solid underpinning to them all, and something that plays its part in how I talk about my ADHD every day.

In this episode:

• Where people with ADHD have a higher cognitive load.
• How this additional load causes feelings of shame.
• The notion of "privelege" associated with being neurotypical.
• How you can be understanding of ADHD people however they present.
• The specific challenge of lack of emotional regulation.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

In today's episode we're going to be talking a bit about how we can be considerate of our spouse or partner upon diagnosis of ADHD, because it's very easy to get caught up in your own experience without thinking of what it's like for the person you spend your life with to digest.

In this episode:

• Being mindful of becoming an "ADHD bore."
• Understanding that your partner has spent many years forming their own "muscle memory" about your behaviours.
• Why your diagnosis is a team sport, and how you can see it as a way of working together.
• Why you should avoid seeing diagnosis as a "free pass" to carry on regardless.
• Why your ADHD doesn't define you.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.

After a bit of a break I'm back! First things first, I'm answering the question of where I've been the past few months, which actually I hope will provide some insight into how the ADHD mind works on a very applied level.

In this episode:

• How enthusiasm in hyperfocus and lack of emotional regulation turns to pressure.
• How rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) makes creating social media content even harder.
• How taking stock and rebalancing even things you love is absolutely critical.
• The importance of connection with likeminded people through the podcast.
• How tiredness and stress means traits "leak" more.

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Note: This podcast is shared purely as first-hand experiences to help others and should not be considered medical advice. Listeners should seek proper guidance if they have concerns or questions of a medical nature.