If you’re struggling with chronic insomnia, it’s not because you haven’t tried hard enough.

It’s not because you’re broken.

And it’s not because you haven’t found the right sleep hygiene hack.

It’s because insomnia becomes conditioned over time—and this conditioning keeps your nervous system on high alert every night.

In this episode, I want to show you why that happens… and what to do about it.

​

The Heart of Chronic Insomnia: Sleep Anxiety and Hyperarousal

At its core, long-term insomnia is a psychological and physiological loop.

You begin to feel anxious about sleep.

That anxiety activates your nervous system.

Your body enters a fight-or-flight state.

And that physical hyperarousal blocks your ability to fall and stay asleep.

This happens even when you’re exhausted.

You might feel wired at bedtime.

You might toss and turn while your mind spins.

You might even jerk awake just as you’re drifting off.

These are all signs that your nervous system is on high alert.

So how does this keep going?

There are 3 common patterns that fuel insomnia over time:

• Unhelpful perceptions
• Unhelpful reactions
• Unhelpful behaviors

Unhelpful Perceptions

This includes misunderstandings about sleep and insomnia.

You might think:

“There’s something wrong with me.”

“My body just doesn’t know how to sleep.”

“I’ll never function again if I sleep badly tonight.”

You may also carry extreme fears about the long-term effects of insomnia.

These thoughts feel real—but they’re often based on misinformation.

As your mind catastrophizes, your body believes the threat is real.

Cue more stress.

Cue more hyperarousal.

Cue more sleeplessness.

Throughout this system, you’ll learn to shift your perceptions.

By understanding how sleep actually works and how insomnia is maintained, your fear naturally decreases.

When the fear drops, your nervous system begins to calm down.

Unhelpful Reactions

These are the emotional and cognitive patterns that keep your sleep anxiety alive.

You might feel emotionally volatile when you don’t sleep well.

You might spiral when you feel tired during the day.

You might try to force yourself to sleep.

Or berate yourself for not being able to.

These reactions keep you trapped.

With tools like mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion, you can learn how to reduce emotional overreactivity and soften your nervous system response.

Unhelpful Behaviors

This includes what you actually do in response to insomnia.

You might:

• Spend extra time in bed trying to make sleep happen
• Take long naps
• Cancel plans to “protect” your sleep
• Avoid life activities that used to bring you joy

These behaviors unintentionally reinforce your fear of insomnia.

They train your brain to believe sleep is fragile and must be “protected.”

But this pressure only makes things worse.

​

Conditioned Hyperarousal: Why Your Body Reacts Automatically

Here’s the kicker.

After enough nights of poor sleep and high anxiety, your nervous system starts associating nighttime with threat.

Even if you’re not consciously anxious, your body remembers.

This is known as conditioned hyperarousal.

You might feel sleepy at 9pm.

But the second your head hits the pillow, you’re wide awake.

You might even sleep fine one night, only to find yourself triggered the next.

That’s not your fault.

It’s a...

If you’ve ever wondered how your insomnia actually started and why it’s been so hard to fix… this email is for you.

Because insomnia develops in a fairly predictable way.

And the science explains why so many people end up stuck in it long after the original stressor is gone.

There are three ingredients that lead to chronic insomnia:

Risk factors, a triggering event, and then sleep anxiety.

Let’s walk through this.

Step 1: Risk factors make you vulnerable

These are things in your life that increase your chances of developing insomnia.

Examples include:

• A family history of insomnia
• Prior sleep difficulties
• Being female or getting older
• High sensitivity to feeling bad when you don’t sleep
• Perfectionism or Type A tendencies
• Anxiety, depression, or trauma history
• Health anxiety
• A strong need for control in life

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone.

They don’t cause insomnia directly.

But they do make you more likely to struggle when something stressful happens.

Step 2: A triggering event causes short-term sleep disruption

This is usually a stressful situation that temporarily disrupts your sleep.

It might be:

• Work pressure
• A loss or grief​
• A new baby
• Financial stress
• A health scare
• Big life changes
• Or even excitement

These events can make it harder to fall asleep or stay asleep for a while.

This is completely normal.

In most people, once the event passes, sleep returns to normal.

But for others… it doesn’t.

Step 3: Anxiety takes over

When the short-term disruption doesn’t resolve, a deeper pattern starts to form.

You begin to worry:

“What if I can’t sleep again tonight?”

“How will I function tomorrow?”

That worry feels real—and your body reacts like it’s in danger.

This triggers nervous system hyperarousal.

You enter fight-or-flight mode… in bed.

Your heart races.

Your muscles stay tense.

Your thoughts spiral.

You get sudden jerks as you’re falling asleep.

You wake up in the night, wired.

You constantly monitor how close you are to sleep.

Your body isn’t broken.

It’s just been trained to associate nighttime with danger.

This is why insomnia persists—even when the original stressor is long gone.

So, what’s really going on?

Insomnia is not a disease or a defect.

It’s a learned pattern of fear and nervous system activation around sleep.

And that’s actually good news.

Because what is learned can be unlearned.

Why this matters

Understanding that the root of insomnia is sleep anxiety and hyperarousal shifts everything.

It’s not about fixing your sleep directly.

It’s about calming your anxiety and retraining your nervous system to feel safe at night.

That’s what the End Insomnia System is built to do.

It’s not a set of sleep hacks.

It’s a full transformation that helps you:

• Rewire your response to insomnia
• Reverse hyperarousal
• And reduce the fear of not sleeping

So sleep starts happening naturally again.

One final note

This isn’t your fault.

Insomnia develops from a storm of life stress, personality traits, and your body doing its best to protect you.

But it’s also something you can work through.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

You’re not broken.

You’re not alone.

And you’re not stuck with...

I and 100s of others have used the End Insomnia System to recover from insomnia for good and sleep great again for life.

Have you ever had doubts that a new system that goes after the root cause of insomnia - hyperarousal - might not work for you?

If so, you’re not alone.

Many people struggling with insomnia feel skeptical at first.

And it’s understandable.

You’ve probably tried countless things that didn’t help or, worse, made things more frustrating.

But let’s explore some common doubts you might have and why they don’t mean the End Insomnia System can’t work for you.

Objection #1: “I have insomnia, but I’m not anxious.”

Maybe the word “anxiety” doesn’t feel like it fits.

That’s fine.

Instead, try focusing on what happens in your body at night when you can’t sleep.

Do you feel tired but wired?

Agitated?

Frustrated?

Is your heart pounding?

Are your muscles tense?

Are your thoughts racing?

That’s not just “normal restlessness.”

That’s a textbook fight-or-flight response.

Your nervous system is reacting to a perceived threat.

That reaction is anxiety - whether you feel mentally anxious or not.

You don’t need to identify as “an anxious person” to recognize your body is stuck in high-alert mode.

And that’s what’s interfering with your ability to fall and stay asleep.

Now ask yourself:

If you truly felt no fear about insomnia or its consequences, would your sleep still be an issue?

In almost every case, the answer is no.

​Objection #2: “I’ve been disappointed so many times. Why should I trust this system?”

Totally fair.

Most people reading this have tried everything - supplements, sleep hygiene, CBT-i, and walked away frustrated.

The difference here is that the End Insomnia System doesn’t focus on making sleep happen.

Instead, it helps you dismantle the anxiety that prevents sleep from happening naturally.

This system doesn’t offer a quick fix. There are none, trust me.

It provides a step-by-step process for unwinding the nervous system patterns that keep you stuck.

And while it takes time, the long-term results are real.

If you’re tired of surface-level fixes, this is a different approach entirely.

Objection #3: “Maybe I’m just broken.”

This one hurts the most - and it’s one of the most common.

You’ve had so many sleepless nights, you’ve started to believe something is deeply wrong.

You’ve probably googled endlessly.

You’ve read scary theories on Reddit.

You’ve convinced yourself that something inside your brain or body is irreparably damaged.

But here’s the truth:

You are not broken.

Your nervous system has been trained to associate night with threat.

And it’s doing what it’s supposed to do when there’s danger: keeping you alert and awake.

This is not a defect.

It’s conditioning.

And conditioning can be reversed.

​​

Objection #4: “My insomnia is too unique for anything to help.”

Maybe you fall asleep fine, but wake up at 3 a.m.

Or maybe your mind races the second your head hits the pillow.

Or maybe you feel calm at night, but still can’t sleep.

The manifestations of insomnia vary.

But the mechanism under the surface is almost always the same:

A nervous system stuck in threat mode.

A mind trained to over-monitor sleep.

A cycle of fear and struggle that’s gotten deeply ingrained.

This system addresses that cycle—no matter how your insomnia shows up.

Objection #5: “My psychology is too complex for this to work.”

You may...

I know how terrifying insomnia can be.

I’ve lived through it myself for 5 brutal years.

I created the End Insomnia System because nothing else worked.

And I tried everything.

This system wasn’t born in a lab.

It came from my own desperation.

Let me take you back to how it all started.

My descent into insomnia

It began after a particularly stressful period in my life.

The stress eventually passed.

But the insomnia didn’t.

Even once the circumstances calmed down, my body remained on high alert.

I dragged myself through each day, exhausted and tense.

My brain was foggy.

I was irritable, anxious, and scared.

Scared of another night.

Scared of how I’d feel the next morning.

Scared this was never going to end.

I kept telling myself it would resolve on its own.

But it didn’t.

In fact, things only got worse.

The turning point

I would lie awake for hours.

Then finally fall asleep—only to jolt awake again, heart pounding.

Sometimes I’d feel panic setting in as soon as I got into bed.

Other times, I’d toss and turn all night in a kind of frozen dread.

I couldn’t relax.

I couldn’t think clearly.

And I couldn’t find anyone who seemed to truly understand what I was going through.

Even people trying to help didn’t get it.

Sleep was becoming the central force in my life.

And it was wrecking everything.

I stopped enjoying things.

Stopped seeing friends.

Stopped feeling like myself.

It was a lonely path to walk.

So I started chasing solutions.

I tried everything

Here’s just some of what I tried:

• Sleeping pills
• Sleep hygiene
• Herbal teas and tinctures
• Relaxation apps
• Exercise
• Weighted blankets
• Blackout curtains
• Pre-bedtime routines
• Cold showers
• Hot showers
• Vitamin D
• Vitamin B12
• No caffeine
• No alcohol
• No screens 2 hours before bed
• Sunlight first thing in the morning, blue-light glasses
• Sleep restriction therapy and CBT-i

Some helped for a few nights.

Most didn’t help at all.

None of it lasted.

After CBT-i failed me—despite being “the gold standard”—I knew I had to do something different.

I wasn’t willing to spend the rest of my life sleep-deprived and afraid.

What finally made things click

I started researching what actually causes long-term insomnia.

What I found changed everything.

Insomnia almost always starts from stress.

But it persists because of sleep anxiety and nervous system activation.

When you’re afraid of not sleeping, your body goes into survival mode.

And the more you worry about sleep, the more you unknowingly train your nervous system to stay alert at night.

This is called conditioned hyperarousal.

And it explains why you can feel calm all day, but your heart still pounds the moment you lie down.

That insight finally helped me understand the real problem.

But I still didn’t have a clear path to fix it.

What helped me finally escape insomnia

Around this time, I found an approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

It had been proven effective for anxiety, trauma, and hyperarousal.

But it had barely been applied to insomnia.

So I teamed up with a therapist.

We studied the research.

We filled in the gaps.

We added in tools from nervous system work, psychology, and mindfulness.

We tested everything.

I experimented on myself.

And slowly…

Things began to shift.

I began to feel calm at night—even if I...

If you’re like many people with long-term insomnia, you’ve probably tried everything.

Pills. Teas. Blackout curtains. Supplements. Sleep hygiene checklists.

You’ve rearranged your bedroom, created the “perfect” nighttime routine, and cut caffeine completely.

And yet here you are, still not sleeping.

• You’re exhausted, frustrated, and on the verge of giving up.
• You want to sleep more than anything, but nothing seems to work.
• Your nights are filled with effort.
• Your days are shadowed by dread and fatigue.

And maybe, deep down, you’ve started to wonder if there’s something uniquely wrong with you.

Something no book, protocol, or expert has been able to fix.

Here’s the truth:

You are not broken.

But you have been misled.

Most approaches to insomnia try to make sleep happen.

They focus on control and effort.

But sleep is not something you can force or have any control over.

And trying to control sleep is exactly what keeps you stuck.

This is where the End Insomnia System comes in.

A new solution based on what actually causes insomnia

Insomnia doesn’t persist because of blue light, a bad mattress, or the fact that you haven’t tried magnesium glycinate.

Long-term insomnia is driven by a very specific combination of two things:

1. Sleep anxiety
2. A chronically activated nervous system

This combination creates a loop where your fear of not sleeping keeps your nervous system alert, which prevents sleep, which fuels more fear.

The End Insomnia System is designed to break that loop.

It teaches you how to calm your nervous system, reduce sleep-related anxiety, and stop making sleep into a performance you need to nail.

Therapy, mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and real-world results from people who’ve used it to sleep again—naturally, without gimmicks.

This is probably you if any of this sounds familiar:

• You constantly think about sleep and how to fix it
• You feel stuck in a loop of exhaustion and dread
• You’ve tried every tip and trick and still can’t sleep
• You obsessively Google sleep solutions but nothing sticks
• You’re scared this is how your life will be forever

You are not alone.

There is, in fact, a real path forward.

This system is not about hacks

It’s not a miracle supplement, ritual, mental exercise, or secret herbal tea.

It’s not about tricking your brain into sleeping.

And it’s not Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I), which way too many people find too rigid and ineffective.

Instead, you learn how to:

• Build your body’s natural sleep drive
• Lower your nervous system’s alertness at night
• Reduce the pressure you put on sleep
• Respond differently to tired days
• Handle setbacks without spiraling
• Stop trying to make sleep happen—and let it be

This is a long-term shift in how you relate to sleep.

It’s a process of retraining your body, rewiring your thoughts, and reclaiming your life from the grip of insomnia.

Yes, there are ups and downs.

This isn't a straight line.

But as you begin to suffer less and react less, sleep starts to return.

Not through effort—but through letting go of it.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8...

If you’ve been seeing progress in your sleep, that’s something to celebrate.

It means the End Insomnia System is working for you.

But let me be upfront about something most people don’t want to hear:

Setbacks are part of the process.

Not just common.

Necessary.

They’re how your nervous system learns to stop fearing sleep again.

Let’s walk through how setbacks happen, what to do when they hit, and why they’re actually key to long-term recovery.

Setback Scenario 1: The Fear of Losing Good Sleep

This one catches many by surprise.

You start sleeping better.

Relief washes over you.

But then, something creeps in — the fear of losing it.

You start thinking things like,

“What if this doesn’t last?”

“What if I go back to square one?”

That fear reignites sleep anxiety.

And just like that, you’re putting pressure on sleep again.

You’ve moved from a state of non-attachment back to performance mode.

And performance mode is enemy territory for sleep.

Setback Scenario 2: The Big Day Spiral

Even after progress, special events can trip you up.

A work presentation.

A wedding.

An early flight.

Something important is happening tomorrow — and you really want to sleep well for it.

Understandably, your anxiety ramps up.

You want to show up at your best.

But when you need sleep too much, it doesn’t come.

This performance pressure causes your nervous system to tense again, reactivating the old loop.

Setback Scenario 3: The Surprise Drop

Sometimes, it just hits.

Out of nowhere.

You’ve been sleeping better.

Then suddenly — you’re back to lying awake at 3 a.m., heart pounding.

You can’t trace it to anything specific.

This is old wiring in the nervous system reactivating.

It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.

It means a pocket of stored hyperarousal is surfacing to be cleared.

This, too, is part of the healing process.

The Way Through: Reapply the System

No matter the cause, the solution to every setback is the same:

Return to the tools.

Don’t try to analyze or solve the setback.

Don’t spiral.

Don’t force sleep.

Do the work you already know:

• Let go of controlling sleep
• Reconnect to your values
• Practice self-compassion
• Use mindfulness to observe, not react
• Stop tracking your sleep
• ​

Most importantly, remember:

The tools still work.

You’re not back at the beginning.

You’ve changed.

Your relationship with insomnia has changed.

You just need to remember what you already know.

Expect Setbacks, Don’t Fear Them

The more you expect setbacks, the less they knock you off course.

Setbacks are not signs that the system failed.

They are signs that your nervous system is finishing its work.​

Each setback is an opportunity to prove that you’re no longer afraid.

To see that poor sleep is not dangerous.

That you don’t need to protect against it.

That you can live your life, even when tired.

Setbacks Build Confidence

Think about it this way:

If you had never had another bad night, you might still fear that insomnia could return.

You might live in the shadow of “What if?”

But when you experience a setback, face it, and recover…

You prove to yourself — for real — that insomnia has no power over you

That proof rewires your brain.

It builds trust.

And eventually, you lose your fear of sleep trouble altogether.

The Final Shift: From Setback to Stability

Recovery...

If you’ve been working through insomnia, it’s normal to feel unsure where you are on the journey or whether progress is even happening.

The truth is, there is a rough path most people follow when working through the End Insomnia System.

It’s not perfectly linear.

You may jump between stages or feel like you’re in more than one at a time.

But understanding the path ahead can give you clarity, motivation, and self-compassion:

Phase 1: Lost and Suffering

You’ve tried everything - melatonin, weighted blankets, supplements, perfect sleep hygiene - and nothing works.

You’re exhausted, frustrated, and scared that things might never change.

This is the phase of desperation and confusion, where you are stuck in the vicious cycle of effort and fear.

​

Phase 2: Finding Hope

You start learning what’s really driving your insomnia.

You realize it’s not just about sleep hygiene, but about breaking the fear-based cycle.

You haven’t slept better yet, but understanding the problem brings relief.

Hope begins to spark.

​

Phase 3: Making Key Behavior Changes

You stop chasing sleep and start gently letting go of unhelpful efforts.

You adjust your routine in ways that support your natural sleep rhythm, and start facing the discomfort of doing less to try to make sleep happen.

There may be some setbacks, but you begin to see that letting go helps.

​

Phase 4: Experiencing Some Anxiety Reduction

This is where the real work begins.

You start practicing mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion during the day and at night.

Sleep still fluctuates, but you get glimpses of peace.

You’re less afraid of poor nights and building confidence that you can handle them.

Meditation, values-based action, and nervous system regulation tools begin to pay off.

​

Phase 5: Feeling Non-Attachment

You’re still having ups and downs, but you worry less.

You know you can function after bad nights.

You stop identifying as someone with insomnia.

There is more ease, more flexibility, and more of your life coming back online.

You’re not free from insomnia yet, but it no longer dominates you.

You’re sleeping better and living better.

​

Phase 6: Sleeping Consistently Better

You’ve now built a sleep-compatible nervous system.

You’ve shifted out of fight-or-flight.

Most nights are good, and even the rough ones don’t throw you off course.

You are grateful, calm, and moving through life without sleep anxiety.

This doesn’t mean perfection, but it means freedom.

You’re no longer afraid of the night.

​

Phase 7: Working Through Setbacks

Every journey includes setbacks.

Maybe a stressful event or an old memory throws you off.

The key here is applying what you’ve learned - without panic or pressure.

You handle it, bounce back, and prove to yourself that insomnia has lost its grip.

With every challenge you face, your resilience grows deeper.

​

Phase 8: Life Beyond Insomnia

You’ve moved on.

Sleep is just something that happens.

You are not haunted by your past struggles.

Bad nights come and go like the weather, but your life is full, meaningful, and vibrant.

The tools you used to recover have become a part of who you are - more present, resilient, and self-aware.

Let go of the timeline

You might be wondering, “How long will this take?”

But focusing on a timeline only builds pressure, which makes sleep harder.

Instead, shift your focus to consistent daily actions. A

pply the tools, stick to the process, and allow the transformation to unfold naturally.

This is a journey...

Making progress with insomnia isn’t just about what you do.

It’s also about how you think.

Certain beliefs and mental loops can keep you stuck in the cycle of poor sleep, while small but intentional shifts in your mindset can dramatically change how you respond to bad nights, tired days, and the fear that fuels insomnia.

Here are 7 mindset shifts that will support your insomnia recovery:

​1. You Are Not an Insomniac​

It’s easy to let insomnia become part of your identity.

Maybe friends check in about your sleep, or you joke about how little you get.

But the more central insomnia becomes in your story, the more it reinforces itself.

Try this: stop calling yourself an insomniac.

You are a person who is dealing with insomnia, not defined by it.

Avoid sleep talk in social settings.

Focus on the things you want to talk about once insomnia is behind you.

And when you do need support, make sure it’s from someone who understands what truly helps—someone who will reinforce progress, not fear.

​2. Hard Nights and Tired Days Are Opportunities​

This might sound strange, but the best opportunities to overcome sleep anxiety are the bad nights and groggy mornings.

Why?

Because insomnia gets weaker when you face what you fear and realize you can handle it.

That’s the principle behind exposure therapy: you reduce anxiety by willingly facing the uncomfortable thing and discovering you’re okay.

Each rough night is a chance to build that strength.

Each tired day is an opportunity to prove that you can still function—and even enjoy life.

​3. Bring Out Your Inner Rebel​

Watch for lingering sleep efforts that sneak into your routine.

Perhaps you still avoid caffeine altogether, certain foods, or evening activities in the hopes of getting better sleep.

Now is the time to rebel against those self-imposed rules.

Not only do they restrict your life, but they send the message that you are fragile—and you’re not.

​4. Don’t Blame Sleep for Everything​

Insomnia makes life harder, but it isn’t the root of every problem.

Financial stress, relationship tension, or pressure at work may still exist after insomnia resolves.

When you place too much blame on sleep, it increases the pressure to fix it fast.

That desperation only makes things worse.

Life includes stress, whether you sleep well or not.

Recognizing that will help take some weight off your sleep’s shoulders.

​5. Remember the Good Things in Your Life​

Insomnia doesn’t cancel out everything good in your life.

Even in hard times, there are things worth appreciating.

Pause once in a while to reflect on what you’re grateful for - your family, health, home, or even small moments of peace.

Gratitude won’t magically fix things, but it helps shift your perspective and soften the sharp edges of fatigue and frustration.

​6. Be Patient​

Reading the ideas in this system will help, but change comes from experience—not just understanding.

You need time to apply the tools and gather evidence that things can improve.

Stick with it. The goal isn’t perfection or instant sleep, but steady progress and reduced anxiety.

​7. Stay the Course​

There will be setbacks.

You might have a string of bad nights and feel tempted to abandon the plan or try something extreme.

Don’t.

This system works by building long-term resilience, not chasing short-term results.

Measure progress in weeks or months, not single nights.

The hard moments will pass.

Trust the process.

​Final Thought​

Insomnia can feel like it’s taken over your life.

But mindset is where you begin to take it back.

Every time you