Episodes

  • Say YES to Yourself More This Year

    Say YES to Yourself More This Year
    Dec 17 2024
    Say YES to Yourself More This Year Do you ever wish you had a less complicated life? Even if your job and life are overcomplicated out of necessity, like launching a rocket or performing brain surgery, you can still simplify everything. How do you do it? Your actions in your life and your job are probably not causing the overwhelm. It's the people and the results that are causing you to feel that way. The easier way to under-complicate is to begin saying "No" to the arbitrary and unattainable demands of others and focus exclusively on the results you want. Here are a couple of ideas: 1) Practice the law of "Good Enough." Perfectionism is overrated. It will waste years of productive time you could use to enjoy life. Set your standards and rise to them. 2) Get good at saying "No." Make that two-letter word your default answer for everything. And remember, sometimes, saying nothing at all gets the same result. 3) Remember that the only thing you must do in life is take a BREATH. Everything else is optional and self-inflicted. Leonardo da Vinci said," Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Why not show everybody how sophisticated you are? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • Happiness Doesn't Require Permission

    Happiness Doesn't Require Permission
    Dec 16 2024
    My friend Sid called to tell me he had found his next big thing. He decided to take flying lessons and couldn't wait to get started. After hearing my Mom's stories over the years, I have always wanted to learn to fly. Her father was a contractor in Wilmington, North Carolina. When an airport client couldn't pay, he offered lessons. She was 15 years old. Her stories of landing on the beaches of North Carolina were thrilling. Flying solo before an arriving hurricane was captivating. We'll forget that she 3-days short of being legally old enough. Her adventurous spirit took control. With a hurricane coming, she wasn't going to ask for permission. She took command, and it put her in the record books. By the time I began flying 50 years later, things were more controlled, and speaking on the radio to Air Traffic Control was required - and challenging. Being nervous, I often asked for permission when I wanted to do something. I would say, "This is Cessna 67508 requesting permission to…" One day, while waiting for their response, my instructor taught me a lesson I could have learned from my Mom, "You're the Pilot in Command. Your seat is moving, and theirs isn't. Don't ask for permission. Tell them what you want and let them work it out." What? I don't have to ask for anyone's permission to do what I want. I never asked again, in flying or anything else in life. I decide what I want to do and do it. If somebody else needs to know what I'm up to, I tell them, work out the solution, and keep moving. If not, I keep moving. Some days, it feels like we need permission from everybody else. Don't fall into that trap. Your destiny is your choice and yours alone. And what happened to Sid? He asked his wife for permission, and she said "no." He never took a single lesson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • Morning Routines Power

    Morning Routines Power
    Dec 13 2024
    One thing that I'm always going to do is refine my morning routine — it's a never-ending process. You hear a lot about using morning rituals to get more done. But what if you could use your mornings to get more done for YOU? In the fast-paced world we live in today, there seem to be two groups when it comes to how to use mornings — personal and productive. Once folks remove themselves from the craziness of jumping out of bed, taking care of the kids, and hitting the drive-through, they choose one of the two. But what if there was a third group that was more satisfying? Before I go on, I must admit that I was not a morning person and didn't like getting up early. I even quit my first couple of jobs as a morning radio host so I could sleep. Later in my career, I would hit my desk at 5 AM and pound through my to-do list as fast as possible. I must have been saying, "I…MUST… GET… IT… DONE!" That didn't work well because I didn't see the purpose of getting out of bed early if it was only to work. For a few years, I spent my mornings reading and meditating before heading to the gym. I got in better shape, but my bank balance was less, and my future goals were seemingly unreachable. Then, one day, out of pure frustration and sporting a brand-new I don't give a heck attitude, I asked myself a question that changed everything - "What's the first thing I should do tomorrow morning that, if I do, will allow me to live a life of my design?" I didn't ask about work or what was on my to-do list. It had nothing to do with getting more done or getting in better shape. I focused on the lifestyle I wanted to live - and it was life-changing. In the years since I made that decision, I've started my days doing the most important thing I deem required to live the life of my choosing, and I've been happier for it. I've also come across dozens of morning do-gooders who are getting everything done except what they dream of doing, and when they realize it's not their fault, everything changes. They get caught up in the buzz of life, and everyone does. But you start making real progress the minute you focus on YOU before anything else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • Unlock Your Goals with Accountability

    Unlock Your Goals with Accountability
    Dec 12 2024
    Over the years, I've witnessed dozens of people set themselves up for failure by following seemingly wise advice - "When you set a goal, make it public and tell everybody you know so they can support you." In my experience, that could have worked better - especially on long-term goals. The reason is that nobody outside my close relationships knows me well enough to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. That makes it challenging to provide support in meaningful ways, difficult for me to accept, and unneeded pressure on everybody. It takes little thinking to realize the best accountability relationship needs to be based on respect and a sincere connection to have the most impact. That means there is no need to crowd-source accountability when you only need two people to keep you on track. The first partner is the one you listen to the most - YOU! Accepting responsibility for your accountability is the most potent skill you own. But since you are the boss of YOU and don't always listen to yourself, you need somebody else you trust and respect who is willing to call you out on your stuff. Once they agree, let them do their job. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • Steps to Getting What You Want — and Keeping It.

    Steps to Getting What You Want — and Keeping It.
    Dec 11 2024
    Creating a difference in your life is a non-stop process that requires simple actions to help you get what you want. And it is, after all, about getting what you want and keeping what you love. You’ll always go through these steps: 1) Decide. Everything begins with your decision to head off in a new direction. While sometimes you may feel like you’ve made a decision, if you’re not moving, you haven’t. 2) Define. Aimless wandering is fun when that’s what you’ve decided to do. Otherwise, it’s frustrating, exhausting, and takes place more than you think. When you define your path, you get to walk your path. 3) Deploy. As dull as the advice may be, putting your plan into action is the only way to get what you want. If you don’t deploy, you don’t get it. 4) Defend. After working hard to get what you want, you can guarantee that something or somebody will try to take away your results. That’s not good or bad. That’s life. When you find what you love, defend it so you never lose it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • Clear Your Clutter, Clear Your Mind

    Clear Your Clutter, Clear Your Mind
    Dec 10 2024
    I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t. They keep hanging on; their life depends on it. Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here: 1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do. 2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday. Both can go on for years, leading to frustration as you long for something else. I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life. After exploring it from every angle— Should I keep it? Should I put it to the side and come back to it? Should I toss it and start over? Should I… should I… should I. I finally said the only thing that came to mind - “The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want. Let me ask a question— How would you feel if you dropped everything holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?” She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said— “I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!” We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30-day cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward. A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • 10 Daily Rules for a Happier You

    10 Daily Rules for a Happier You
    Dec 9 2024
    Every day, we all jump into the craziness of life with little thought to the basic rules we use to run our day. Here are a few of mine. You can borrow them if you would like: 1) Do what makes your heart sing. You'll always feel better when you are dancing down your path. 2) Believe anything is possible. As soon as you believe - everything IS possible. 3) Be nice to others. Expect them to do the same. No further explanation is required. 4) Believe in people and encourage their dreams. When you do, they'll return the favor. 5) Do the right thing. If you mess up, say you're sorry, try again. 6) Meet people where they are in their lives and walk with them to where you both want to go. 7) Do what you say you will do. It's always better to under-promise and over-deliver. 8) Make lemonade out of lemons. Everything is fixable if you have the right mindset. 9) Keep things simple. Yup. 10) Relax. Life is short. Double yup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    10 mins
  • The Gift of Making a Decision

    The Gift of Making a Decision
    Dec 6 2024
    The Gift of Making a Decision As we approach the most spiritual time of year, I find more and more of my thoughts are focused on what my future will bring. But instead of drafting a list of goals, my mind seems to settle into a different place— What if I could give myself a gift that instantly gives me what I want? What if I don't have to chase my dreams and start living them instead? What if there was nothing in my way - ever? While that way of thinking may seem out of touch today, it's not. It happens daily for millions of people worldwide, and it can happen to you, too. Here's a simple truth— Everything changes instantly and, very likely, forever when you decide. If you hate your job and decide to quit, everything changes. Everything changes instantly if you decide you need space for yourself, turn your phone off, and walk in the woods. If you say "Yes" to yourself and "No" to others more often, your experience changes. I could go on forever, but I don't need to. If you've been alive for any time, you understand that you are only stuck until you decide not to be stuck. Once you make that decision, you are moving again. That's life. Is it easy? Are there limitations? Are there consequences? Maybe, but many of them are good! The point is that any directional change in your life is possible when you decide to recalculate your path. So this year, why not give yourself the gift of considering the possibility that the only thing standing in your way is you? If that's the case, why not get out of your way and do what you say you want to do? Yes, I know you may not know what to do. Yes, I know you may not know how to do it. Yes, I know you may be wondering how your life will be. All of that is true. But you know that you want something different? Do you know what's not working? Do you know what you don't want in your life? That should be all the motivation you need to go for your dreams. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    11 mins