In this episode of the podcast, David interviews Dr. Bernadette Atanga, a physician and mental health expert with a focus on empowering men through life’s challenges, particularly conflict. Dr. Bernadette shares her extensive experience working with men globally and discusses the unique struggles they face due to societal expectations of emotional suppression. She highlights the importance of mental health in physical well-being, explaining how unresolved emotions often manifest in physical ailments. The conversation delves into the cultural norms surrounding masculinity, the lack of support systems for men, and the need for a men's empowerment movement.

Dr. Bernadette introduces her "PEACE" method, an acronym encompassing Patience, Empathy, Awareness, Communication, and Emotional Intelligence, as a framework to help men heal and rebuild after conflicts like divorce. She emphasizes the significance of acknowledging emotional pain, embracing vulnerability, and redefining masculinity to lead with authentic strength. The discussion also covers co-parenting challenges, the importance of maintaining healthy relationships with children post-divorce, and why patience and self-discovery are crucial before entering new relationships.

Dr. Bernadette shares insights from her upcoming book, Beneath the Armor: Eight Practical Steps for Men to Embrace Vulnerability and Lead with Strength, which provides practical guidance for men to heal and rediscover their identity. The conversation concludes with a powerful reminder that healing starts with a choice and that men must prioritize their own well-being to truly thrive as leaders in their families and communities.

Top 10 Most Important Points from the Interview:

1. Emotional Suppression in Men: Societal norms discourage men from processing emotions, which often leads to internalized pain and externalized anger.

2. Mental Health and Physical Health Link: Emotional stress, such as that caused by divorce, frequently manifests in physical health issues like high blood pressure or unmanaged diabetes.

3. Unresolved Childhood Trauma: Many men suppress childhood pain, which resurfaces during life crises like divorce, affecting their healing journey.

4. The "PEACE" Framework: Dr. Bernadette’s method—Patience, Empathy, Awareness, Communication, and Emotional Intelligence—helps men navigate conflicts and heal.

5. Co-Parenting Advice: Parents must prioritize their children's well-being over personal conflicts, focusing on long-term relationships rather than short-term power struggles.

6. Redefining Masculinity: Men need to move beyond traditional definitions of masculinity tied to dominance and provision, embracing vulnerability and balance.

7. Healing Begins with Truth and Choice: Honest self-reflection and a conscious decision to heal are foundational steps for recovery post-divorce.

8. Cultural Universality of Masculine Struggles: Regardless of geography or ethnicity, men globally face similar challenges around vulnerability and societal expectations.

9. Impact of Divorce on Identity: Divorce often leads to a loss of identity, requiring men to redefine themselves not only for their own well-being but also for their families and communities.

10. Avoiding Rebound Relationships: Jumping into new relationships too soon after divorce often hinders healing and can lead to further emotional complications. Fellas!!!!
    

Dr. Bernadette Contacts:

Linkedin

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On this episode of the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David interviews Daryl Tanner, a counselor, author, and lay minister from San Antonio, Texas. Daryl shares key insights from his book, Great Expectations Today, which offers practical advice for men healing after divorce. Drawing from his personal experiences and decades of work in Christian counseling, Daryl discusses how men can overcome anger, rebuild self-confidence, and find purpose following divorce. He emphasizes faith, forgiveness, and gratitude as essential components of personal growth.

Daryl explains that many men struggle with feelings of failure, anger, and inadequacy post-divorce. He advises men to focus on what they can control and to stop blaming external factors. He also highlights the importance of lowering unrealistic expectations, which can often lead to frustration and disappointment. By setting practical goals and being honest with oneself, men can begin to recover emotionally and spiritually.

Growing up on a farm in Lower Alabama with a strict father and a nurturing, spiritual mother, Daryl learned resilience early on. He credits his upbringing for helping him develop the strength to overcome challenges, including personal setbacks. A self-described daydreamer as a child, he explains how imagination and reading helped him escape difficulties and build a positive vision for the future.

Daryl also addresses the importance of forgiveness, both for oneself and others, to release the emotional burdens associated with divorce. He encourages men to avoid bitterness and instead focus on being present for their children without speaking negatively about their ex-spouse. Daryl underscores the significance of living in alignment with one's faith, finding gratitude in small blessings, and helping others as a way to heal.

The interview concludes with practical advice for men, including cleaning up unhealthy habits, seeking spiritual guidance, and surrounding themselves with supportive people. Tanner also recommends his book as a resource for additional insights and guidance.

Top 10 Takeaways

1. Lower Expectations: Avoid setting unrealistic standards for relationships and life; focus on practical, achievable goals.

2. Forgiveness is Key: Forgiving both yourself and others is essential to emotional and spiritual healing.

3. Focus on What You Can Control: Let go of the things you can't control, including your ex-partner's behavior.

4. Rebuild Confidence: Start by cleaning up unhealthy habits, exercising, and improving your diet.

5. Be Grateful: Shift your mindset by appreciating blessings, no matter how small.

6. Faith and Spirituality: Strengthen your relationship with God through prayer, Bible reading, and self-reflection.

7. Anger Management: Address underlying anger issues to avoid carrying emotional baggage into new relationships.

8. Help Others: Being a blessing to others can provide a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

9. Parent with Purpose: Focus on being a positive role model for your children without criticizing your ex.

10. Discover Inner Strength: Recognize and nurture the unique talents God has given you to thrive in life.
    

Daryl’s Book: Great Expectations Today!: A Happier Life Filled Wth Greater Abundance. Expand Your Inner Power and Become the Person You Have Always Wanted To Be.

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In this episode of the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David interviews Dr. Benjamin Ritter, a leadership and career coach with over a decade of experience working with top companies like Amazon, Google, and Pinterest. Dr. Ritter specializes in helping individuals align their values with their careers and navigate life transitions, such as divorce or job loss. The conversation focuses on the parallels between losing a job and going through a divorce, both of which can leave individuals feeling stuck, lost, and disconnected. Dr. Ritter emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, self-care, and intentional living to overcome these challenges.

Key themes include the concept of "living for yourself," which involves aligning your life with your values and goals rather than external expectations. Dr. Ritter also discusses the importance of building confidence as a skill, creating a supportive environment, and taking small, actionable steps to move forward. He highlights the need for men to prioritize self-care, redefine their sense of purpose, and develop "executive presence" in both personal and professional contexts. The episode concludes with actionable advice for men recovering from life-altering events: focus on personal goals, build confidence, and evaluate relationships to ensure they align with your aspirations.

10 Important Topics Discussed

1. Parallels Between Job Loss and Divorce

-Both events involve a loss of identity, routine, and purpose, requiring individuals

to rebuild their lives.

1. Living for Yourself

-The importance of aligning your life with your own values and goals rather than living for others.

1. The Concept of Being Stuck

-Feeling stuck often stems from a lack of clarity, routine, and purpose, which can be addressed by identifying small, actionable changes.

1. Building Confidence as a Skill

-Confidence is not innate but can be developed through practice, self-reflection, and intentional actions.

1. Self-Care for Men

-Men often neglect self-care, but prioritizing physical, mental, and emotional well-being is crucial for recovery.

1. Executive Presence

-Developing executive presence involves defining your values, being reliable, and engaging fully in the moment.

1. The Role of Community and Support

-Losing a job or relationship often results in losing connections, making it essential to rebuild a supportive network.

1. Small Steps Toward Recovery

-Taking small, manageable actions—such as journaling, joining a group, or volunteering—can help create momentum.

1. Redefining Purpose and Direction

-Purpose can be rediscovered by focusing on meaningful activities, helping others, and reframing your perspective.

1. The Importance of Environment

-Surrounding yourself with people who support your growth and align with your goals is critical for personal development.

Dr Ritter’s Website

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This podcast episode from Don’t Pick The Scab features Mac Pierre-Louis, an attorney and mediator specializing in co-parenting and conflict resolution. Mac, who practices law in Texas and Florida, shares insights from his work helping parents mediate disputes and resolve custody issues amicably. He emphasizes the importance of avoiding court battles by seeking agreements that prioritize the child’s best interests over financial or personal disputes. Mac explains legal processes like modifications, where court orders can be revisited if circumstances change, and highlights how children’s voices are factored into custody cases, particularly when they turn 12.

Mac discusses common challenges in co-parenting, such as disagreements over financial contributions, allegations of selfish motives, and differing parenting styles. He explains how mediation can help parents understand each other’s perspectives, reduce emotional conflict, and focus on pragmatic solutions. Tools like injunctions, which set mutual rules for parenting, can address concerns over behavior or boundaries across households.

The episode also delves into the psychological aspects of mediation, with Mac describing techniques like active listening, reframing perspectives, and avoiding “amygdala hijacking,” where heightened emotions impair reasoning. He stresses the importance of boundaries, both for parents and mediators, to foster respect and effective communication. Mac also shares anecdotes about his mediation experiences, including the nuances of online mediation and the importance of using technology to maintain engagement.

Ultimately, Mac advocates for peaceful resolutions, highlighting mediation as a collaborative alternative to court battles. He encourages parents to focus on their children’s well-being, let go of the need to control the other parent’s household and create agreements that foster respect and cooperation.

10 Most Important Points:

1. Introduction to Mac Pierre-Louis: Attorney and mediator specializing in co-parenting and conflict resolution for parents in Texas and Florida.

2. Modifications in Custody Agreements: Court orders can be revisited due to material and substantial changes in circumstances, like a child turning 12 and expressing preferences.

3. Avoiding Court Battles: Mediation focuses on agreements that prioritize the child’s best interests and avoid unpredictable court rulings.

4. Financial Disputes: Parents often accuse each other of prioritizing money over the child’s needs; Mac emphasizes neutrality and practical solutions.

5. Injunctions in Parenting Agreements: Parents can create mutual rules (e.g., no drinking before custody, consistent discipline methods) to ensure boundaries across households.

6. Mediation Psychology: Techniques like reframing, active listening, and addressing emotional triggers are essential for resolving disputes.

7. “Amygdala Hijacking”: Emotional reactions can impair reasoning, but mediators help parents shift to rational decision-making.

8. Boundaries and Self-Respect: Healthy boundaries foster mutual respect and prevent abuse or overstepping in co-parenting arrangements.

9. Challenges of Online Mediation: Mediators must use technology effectively to maintain engagement and interpret non-verbal cues.

10. Letting Go of Control: Parents must accept that they cannot control what happens in the other parent’s household unless safety concerns arise.
    

Mac Pierre-Louis Website

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The Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast episode featuring Andra Davidson, a certified divorce coach and mediator, focuses on supporting divorced men over 40 as they navigate the emotional, social, and practical challenges of divorce. Drawing from her personal experience of divorcing after 20 years of marriage, Andra shares insights into overcoming feelings of overwhelm, rebuilding self-confidence, and co-parenting effectively. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, humor, and setting goals to help men recover and grow into the best version of themselves.

Andra introduces her "Better Than Before Divorce" program, which uses a strength-based approach to help clients identify their skills, set goals, and develop strategies for recovery. She also highlights the value of letting go of control over uncontrollable factors, such as an ex-spouse’s actions, and focusing on what can be managed. Her newsletter, Divorce Is a Shit Sandwich, provides a humorous yet practical perspective on navigating divorce, encouraging men to find moments of levity during this challenging time. And, how do you eat a shit sandwich, one bite at a time.

Key takeaways include the importance of building a support system, practicing self-compassion, and celebrating small wins to rebuild confidence. Andra’s practical advice and relatable approach make this episode a valuable resource for men seeking to navigate divorce and emerge stronger.

10 Important Points:

1. Divorce is the second most challenging life event after losing a loved one.

2. Men often struggle with accessing support systems and expressing vulnerability.

3. Self-care is essential for maintaining energy and focus during recovery.

4. Letting go of control over uncontrollable factors is key to emotional well-being.

5. Rebuilding self-confidence involves reflecting on past successes and small wins.

6. Co-parenting requires focusing on creating a stable environment for children.

7. Humor can be a powerful tool for coping with the challenges of divorce.

8. Setting clear goals helps men envision and work toward a better future.

9. Building a support system is crucial for emotional and practical recovery.

10. Divorce can be an opportunity for personal growth and transformation.

Better Than Before Divorce Website

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Welcome to the “Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast,” where we help men over 40 recover from divorce with a mix of practical advice, humor, and heartfelt conversations. In this episode, David sits down with Markus Wolf, a health and fitness coach who works with men to rebuild their confidence, physical health, and mindset after divorce. Markus brings his unique perspective, blending personal experience, fitness expertise, and a no-nonsense approach to self-belief.

Markus Wolf is no stranger to challenges. From being a high school dropout to holding 25 jobs in five years, Markus admits to being “the epitome of a quitter.” But his story took a turn when he discovered health and fitness, which gave him the discipline and confidence to rewrite his life. Now, he’s on a mission to help other men transform themselves inside and out, focusing on fitness as a cornerstone for rebuilding self-belief and creating a better life after divorce.

There’s also a heartfelt discussion about parenting and co-parenting. Markus opens up about his struggles with anger, his journey to becoming a more patient father, and the importance of showing your kids the “real you” – flaws and all. He stresses that parenting isn’t about perfection but about connection and teaching your children how to face challenges with confidence.

The episode is packed with wisdom, humor, and actionable tips for men looking to rebuild their lives after divorce. Markus reminds listeners that recovery isn’t about sprinting to the finish line; it’s about taking small, consistent steps toward a better, more fulfilling life.

Top 10 Topics from the Episode

1. Fitness as a Catalyst for Change: How health and fitness can help men rebuild confidence and rediscover themselves after divorce.

2. Mindset Matters: Why focusing on gratitude and small wins is crucial for self-belief and overcoming negativity.

3. Parenting Through Divorce: The importance of showing your kids the authentic “you” and teaching them resilience through your actions.

4. The Power of Community: Why men need to prioritize social connections and find supportive networks.

5. Sleep and Self-Care: How sleep impacts testosterone, energy levels, and overall well-being – especially for men over 40.

6. Motivation vs. Self-Belief: Why the problem isn’t lack of motivation but a lack of belief in yourself – and how to fix it.

7. Reframing Fitness Goals: Shifting from aesthetics to using fitness as a tool for mental clarity, stress relief, and personal growth.

8. The 1% Forward Rule: How small, consistent progress can lead to big changes over time.

9. Parenting with Purpose: Building confidence in your kids by teaching them how to face adversity and connect with you authentically.

10. Building Habits Post-Divorce: The importance of creating routines, such as regular conversations with other men, to foster growth and accountability.

Remember: It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Contacting Markus Wolf

Email - markuswolfcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/coachmarkuswolf/

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In this lively and transformative episode of Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, I sit down with the one and only Dr. Robb Kelly, an expert in neuroscience, trauma recovery, addiction, and mental health. Dr. Robb brings his larger-than-life personality and incredible life story to the mic, sharing his journey from the depths of addiction, trauma, and homelessness to becoming a celebrated healer with a 98% success rate. With humor, vulnerability, and actionable advice, this episode is packed with wisdom for men over 40 navigating life after divorce.

Dr. Robb’s story is one of redemption, resilience, and the power of letting go of what others think. From his spiritual awakening on the rainy streets of Manchester to reconnecting with his daughter decades later, his experiences offer hope for listeners who feel like they’ve hit rock bottom. This conversation is raw, real, and filled with tools for healing.

Wait for it - Dr. Robb has a great free offer at the end of this podcast. Take him up on it. I did!

Here are 10 key topics covered in this episode:

1. Trauma as the Root Cause: Why unresolved childhood trauma impacts divorce recovery.

2. Letting Go of Resentment: How to release anger and move forward.

3. The Power of Self-Care: Why taking care of yourself first is crucial.

4. Neuroscience in Healing: Techniques like brain spotting to rewire the mind.

5. The Importance of Identity: Rediscovering who you are after divorce.

6. Co-Parenting Done Right: Putting the kids first and working with your ex.

7. The Role of Spirituality: How Dr. Robb’s awakening changed his life.

8. Self-Compassion: How to speak kindly to yourself and build confidence.

9. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity: The influence of your social circle.

10. Practical Tools for Recovery: Oxygen breathwork and mirror exercises to reprogram your mind.

    
    

Dr. Robb Kelly’s insights will leave you inspired and ready to tackle your recovery journey. Listen now and discover how to turn your crossroads into a new beginning!

Robb Kelly Recovery Group

Dr. Robb on Facebook

Dr Robb on Instagram

Dr Robb on Linkedin

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Welcome to today’s episode of the Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast, where we focus on helping men rebuild their lives after divorce. In this episode, we’re joined by Michael Mendribil, a naturopathic doctor, functional medicine practitioner, and transformative coach. Michael’s journey is one of resilience, self-discovery, and healing, and he brings a wealth of knowledge and personal experience to the table. From navigating divorce himself to overcoming life’s toughest challenges, Michael has dedicated his career to helping others heal and thrive.

Michael shares his deeply personal story, including his experiences with divorce, financial struggles, and the emotional toll of caregiving for a spouse with Alzheimer’s. Through these challenges, he discovered the importance of prioritizing self-care, building resilience, and reframing life’s difficulties as opportunities for growth. His insights are particularly valuable for men over 40 who may feel stuck, emotionally depleted, or unsure of how to move forward after divorce.

In this episode, Michael emphasizes the importance of addressing both the emotional and physical aspects of recovery. He discusses how chronic stress, poor sleep, and unhealthy habits can take a toll on men’s health during and after divorce. Michael offers practical advice on how to rebuild physical health through better nutrition, exercise, and stress management techniques. He also highlights the role of naturopathic and functional medicine in helping men regain their energy, focus, and overall well-being.

Top 10 Takeaways from the Podcast:

1. Prioritize self-care – You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

2. Acknowledge your emotions – Recognize that it’s okay to not be fine and seek support when needed.

3. Reframe divorce as an opportunity – Use this time to rediscover yourself and create a new vision for your life.

4. Focus on physical health – Improve your sleep, nutrition, and exercise habits to rebuild your energy and resilience.

5. Break the stigma around seeking help – Therapy, coaching, and support groups are valuable tools for healing.

6. Build resilience through routine – Establish daily habits like journaling, mindfulness, and self-reflection.

7. Connect with others – Share your struggles with trusted friends or groups to build a supportive community.

8. Address chronic stress – Manage stress through mindfulness, time in nature, and other relaxation techniques.

9. Rediscover your passions – Reconnect with hobbies or interests you may have set aside during your marriage.

Healing is a process – Be patient with yourself and embrace the journey of growth and self-discovery.

Michael Mendribil, ND

Tel: +1 203-861-7810

Email: michael@mendribil.com

Visit: MichaelMendribilND.com

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