• Boundaries Aren’t Mean They’re Your Nervous System’s Safety Plan
    Jan 22 2026
    If guilt hits the second you set a boundary, it’s easy to think you did something wrong. But in narcissistic or emotionally unsafe dynamics, guilt often shows up because you finally did something right: you protected your peace. In today’s Thrive in Five, we’re talking about why boundaries feel so hard after emotional abuse, how your nervous system connects “saying no” with danger, and the simple mindset shift that makes boundaries easier to hold. You’ll also learn a 3-part boundary formula you can use immediately — without over-explaining, defending, or getting pulled into a debate. This episode is for you if you’re ready to stop negotiating your needs and start building real emotional safety in your life. Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start holding boundaries without spiraling, I can help. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. What'd you think? That was me doing my sound test. What? And I feel too lazy tonight to edit it out, so you get to hear it. That's my sound test. Oh, my lighting is trash if you're on YouTube. Sorry. Sorry for you. My lighting is trash. I just put all these eyedrops in that probably are making my makeup a mess, but here I am. What do you get with Christie Jade? You get authenticity at its finest. All right. So today in our Thrivent five, we're talking about boundaries. They aren't mean. They're your nervous systems. Safety plan. All right? So if you feel guilty every time you set a boundary, you're not too sensitive, you're not bad at boundaries. (01:20) You're trained to believe that protecting yourself is wrong. And today we are going to break that programming. Yes, we are. I love a good cycle breakage, right? All right. So here's the truth. A lot of women don't struggle with boundaries because they don't know what to say. They struggle because their body believes that a boundary equals danger. We've been conditioned that way. I hate conditioning, don't you? For the birds. Let the birds go have the conditionedness. What? I'm making up words now. So maybe in your past when you said no, you got punished. This could be childhood. This could be previous relationship, whatever. Maybe you got guilt tripped. I'm all too familiar with the guilt trippings. Maybe you got iced out, the silent treatment or the straight rage, which we know a lot of narcissists do serve as a lovely punishment. Or you got that fine. (02:26) Do whatever you want. Energy where you're like, "Oh, great. What does that mean? That doesn't really mean fine." Yeah. So your nervous system learned. If I have needs, I lose connection. Let that sink in. We've been conditioned. If I have needs, I lose the connection, the connection you hope to have with somebody. So let me give you a reframe that changes everything. Okay? Hear me out. Maybe get a little notepad, write it down on a little post-it. A boundary isn't a demand. Okay? It's not trying to control someone else. A boundary is simply what you will do to keep yourself safe. And don't we? We all deserve safety. Can I get a what, what? Yes. We all deserve safety. So a boundary is just what you will do to keep yourself safe. It doesn't have to be about controlling somebody else. It's about what you're doing for you. (03:32) So it's not, you need to respect me. It's, if you speak that way to me, I will end the conversation. It's not you need to stop texting me at night. It's, "Hey, after 7:00 PM, I can't respond or I won't be responding." Okay? It's not, "You need to understand why I feel this way." It's, "I don't need you to understand. I need you to stop. (04:07) I don't need you to understand." So here's a simple three part boundary that works even with those difficult people. Okay? So the decision, number one, is I'm not available for this. It's the decision. Number two is the limit. This looks like I will not continue this conversation if it becomes disrespectful. So you've decided and you're setting a limit and then the follow through. If it happens again, I'm going to hang up, I'm going to leave, I'm going to mute you physically. No, I'm just kidding. Or ending this. That could be a...
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    14 mins
  • Boundaries With a Narcissist : Why Explaining Yourself Makes It Worse (And What to Say Instead).wav
    Jan 20 2026
    If you’re trying to set boundaries with a narcissist and it keeps turning into an argument, you’re not doing it wrong — you’re just dealing with someone who treats your boundary like a debate. In this episode, I’m breaking down why explaining yourself often makes things worse with toxic people, how over-explaining becomes emotional ammunition, and what to say instead so your boundary is short, clear, and unshakable. You’ll learn how to stop trying to be understood by someone committed to misunderstanding you — and start protecting your peace in a way that actually works. Your Next Step in Healing If you’re ready to stop over-explaining, hold the line without guilt, and build boundaries that actually stick, coaching is where we do this together in real life — with real scripts, real support, and real nervous system safety. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your identity, raise your standards, and create a life that finally feels like yours. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources ✨ Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 ✨ Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ ✨ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ ✨ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact fiercemamac@gmail.com Coming Up Next More tools for high-conflict communication, protecting your peace, and staying grounded when toxic people push back. TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Where did I go? I can't see myself. All right, there we go. Hello people, Queens, hope you are doing very well and we're getting into the new year now. It's kind of a crazy place out here in the United States. I'll put a pin on that one and we'll talk about the narcissists of the world. All right, we're going to talk about boundaries today. All right. So if you keep trying to explain your boundary in the perfect way, hoping they'll finally get it, this episode is your wake up call because with a narcissist, more explanation doesn't create more understanding. It actually creates more ammunition. So today I will break down why explaining yourself actually backfires and exactly what to say instead. (00:54) Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. All right. So welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I'm Christie Jade. And today we're going to talk about one of the biggest traps women fall into when they're trying to set boundaries with a narcissist. Explaining, overexplaining, clarifying, defending, and oh, the favorite justifying. So basically giving the full TED Talk to someone who already ... He's decided, she or he has decided to misunderstand you. So why explaining yourself actually makes it work? Worse. So what most women believe, if I can just say it the right way, they'll respect it. But with a narcissist, boundaries are not treated like information. They're almost treated like a challenge. So when you explain, they don't hear, "Oh, she's communicating. (02:09) How lovely." No. They hear, "Oh, good. Time for a negotiation," and they love a good negotiation, don't they? Or even worse, they may think, "Oh, good. A list of the exact emotional buttons to push for this specific individual." You're kind of giving yourself away. So the difference between healthy people and narcissists with a healthy person, an explanation leads to understanding. Clarity leads to connection. A boundary leads to adjusting things in the relationship, right? But with a narcissist, the explanation leads to a debate. Have you had that one happen? Yeah, me too. Clarity leads to them finding loopholes and a boundary leads to punishment. They don't like boundaries, right? So they are going to do what a narcissist loves to do, which is punish anybody who goes against what they want 100%, which when you set a boundary, that's you saying, "I'm not going to just throw myself at everything you tell me to do your way or the highway," and they don't like that. (03:28) So if you've been feeling like, no matter what I say, it turns into a fight, you're not failing, right? It's not you. You're just using healthy communication to what? An unsafe person. (03:43) So you are trying to do it the right way. Setting healthy boundaries with a healthy person ...
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    19 mins
  • Narcissist Driving You Crazy? Try This! (TOP EPISODE)
    Jan 15 2026
    I am not feeling too hot so reposting an oldie but goodie! Hope you enjoy it! Episode Description (Show Notes): You left… but you still feel hooked. You blocked them… but you still think about them. You know they were toxic… so why does part of you miss them? Welcome to the trauma bond. In this episode, Christy breaks down: What a trauma bond really is Why you feel addicted to someone who hurt you The exact steps to finally unhook and come back to YOU If you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or obsessed after narcissistic abuse—this is your wake-up call (and your soft place to land). 💕 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Related Episodes You’ll Love: Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 Stay Connected: email: fiercemamac@gmail.com Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): So you block them, you want no contact, whatever it is, they're toxic. So why does part of you still miss them or just obsess over them? Why do you feel guilty or worse even tempted to go back? I've been getting some messages lately with listeners who really are trying to stay away and out of the life and not take the bait, but it is hard for them. So let's go into it. If you've ever felt like you're addicted to the narcissist, this episode is for you. We're talking about the trauma bond, what it is, why it's so hard to break, and how to finally unhook and come back to you because you're the queen, right? (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we were clean that peace, protect our power, and rebuild self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm Christy Jade, and today we are going deep into something most survivors wrestle with. I'd probably say all of them, even after they leave it is the trauma bond. That soul tie feeling, the obsessive loop that goes round and round in your mind, that craving for someone you know is harmful. And we can get shame about this, right? Kick that shit to the curb. We don't have time for your shame. Alright? So you're not crazy. You are trauma bonded and we're going to talk about it. So what is a trauma bond? It is a psychological and physiological attachment. ...
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    18 mins
  • How Highly Sensitive People Actually Heal
    Jan 13 2026
    Highly sensitive people don’t heal by pushing harder, thinking more positively, or forcing themselves to “move on.” If you’ve done the therapy, gained the insight, and understand what happened — but your body still feels tense, on edge, or exhausted — this episode explains why. In this episode, we talk about why traditional healing advice often fails highly sensitive people, what healing actually means for a sensitive nervous system, and how safety — not mindset — is the missing piece. You’ll learn why insight alone isn’t enough, how your body responds differently than your mind, and what real, sustainable healing looks like when you stop overriding yourself. This episode is especially for you if you’ve ever thought, “I know better… so why do I still feel like this?” Your Next Step in Healing If you’re highly sensitive and want support learning how to heal without pushing, forcing, or abandoning yourself, this is exactly the work I do with my clients. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ • Free Facebook Community: 00:00): Hello, queens. It's Christie. If you are a highly sensitive person like myself and you've done all the things, the therapy, the journaling, understanding, even that alone, we're good at that, aren't we? But your body still feels tense on edge. You get the visceral reactions and you get the mind spins, right? This episode is for you. Yay. So stay tuned here. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. But highly sensitive people, they don't get better by pushing harder. They heal by learning how to feel safe in their bodies, our bodies, because I'm one of them. And when this happens, and that's why I'm so into somatic healing, but when it happens from the body, that is when the transformations truly take place. (01:09) So welcome back to the podcast. If you are a follower of mine, I think I've told this story how I did acupuncture years ago. I'll tell it again, just in case. But I did acupunctures in my 20s. I am now 45, yes, as many, probably about 20 years ago, almost exactly. And I did it once. I was so excited to do it too. And I had a not great reaction. (01:38) I have been told since then I should have just stuck with it to move it through. But I was like, "Hell no." Because I got a fever and my mono resurfaced from the year before, who gets mono as a 20 ... Oh, I was 28 and then it came back at 29. So that's how old I was. So 28 to 29. So I was 29 and mono crept back into my life. That was just crazy. But I guess people say, "Oh, they went too fast or whatever." I don't know. I was like, "F that, never want to do it again." But I have heard so many amazing things and you know I'm such a big proponent of healing through the body and my body reacts so well. I do feel like some people are more in tune to body healing. I don't know if it's openness or, I don't know, physiology or what, but I know I react very well to yoga, to somatic healing, to breathwork, to all the energy body healings. (02:41) So it keeps flashing in me. You know you get nudges. So I've been getting the acupuncture nudge. Well, I got one months and months ago and I wrote to this local lady who has a good reputation and she was like, "Oh, I'm going to be out on leave, baby leave." So I was like, man, she was like, "Oh, this other person can do it. " And I was like, "Nope." Because when I get a nudge, I get specific nudges and it was toward her. I was like, "Nope, I don't want anyone else." So I just went la-da-da-da-da. And then the other day I got another nudge and was like, "Oh, I should see if she's back." And she's been back and there's also a sail and I was like, "Okay, God's going ding, ding-dong, get your needle on. " So needless to say, or needles to say, sorry, I had to, that was so bad. (03:37) I'm going to try acupuncture again tomorrow, pray for me. And for multiple things, there's so many things I could use it for. Just like nervous system regulation, but also my nerves will go to my stomach, so I can have very sensitive stomach, especially in high stress seasons of life. And I'm going through a remodel. So there we are. That's where we are with that one. And also TMI, but I'm an overshare. My monthly mayhem, I call it, my monthly period is pretty much torture. It's been for a very long time and we're going to give this a go and see if it helps because I can't take certain things or whatever. So I've heard it can help tremendously, so we're going to try...
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    20 mins
  • Why Highly Sensitive People Are More Impacted by Certain Personalities
    Jan 8 2026
    Have you ever wondered why some people don’t just irritate you — they completely dysregulate you? In this episode, we explore why highly sensitive people are more deeply affected by emotionally unpredictable or manipulative personalities, and why this has nothing to do with being weak or “too much.” If you’ve been healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and still find yourself over-explaining, self-blaming, or staying longer than you should, this episode connects the dots with compassion and clarity. This conversation is about understanding patterns — not judging yourself — so you can finally stop managing other people’s emotions and start protecting your nervous system. Your Next Step in Healing If this episode hit close to home and you’re realizing this pattern has repeated — and you’re tired of trying to figure it out alone — you don’t have to. I work 1:1 with women healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse who are ready to feel calmer, clearer, and more grounded in their relationships and decisions. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ 📩 Questions or support: 00:00): Queens, if you are highly sensitive, there is a reason certain people don't just annoy you. They completely dysregulate you. And it's not because you're weak or dramatic or overreacting. It's because your nervous system notices things others were trained to ignore. It's actually a gift. Love it. I've got the gift. Do you? Stay tuned. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. All right. So tonight's episode is a continuation of Tuesdays, and there will be one more on next week's Tuesday episode, and then we'll get back to a Thrive in Five on Thursday. But I also just wanted to say hello. I was thinking in this new year, I might share a little more about just myself, even my journey, and just even some of my day-to-day stuff, because I want to feel a little more connected to my audience. (01:14) And I'd love you to hop over into my Facebook group. If you didn't know, I have a private Facebook group, and it is for all women, and it's private. And I ask questions to make sure no shady people coming in there, except myself. Just kidding. And yeah, but I just want to share more and be a little more engaged on a personal level. So a couple things I have going on to share with you. Number one, I finished my manuscript. I am going to be writing a narcissistic abuse recovery book. I am so excited. Well, I wrote it. Currently, I am going through one more pass and then my editor will be starting to do the developmental editing on it starting in March. And then from there, I'm still working on if I want to self-publish or traditional publish, my gut is saying traditional publishing, and I've got a couple calls lined up to talk with people about that. (02:17) It's really exciting stuff. This is one of my dreams. I always wrote. This is like we're having a biography. Don't worry, we'll get to the good stuff too, but this is good stuff, right? You know a little more about me? Maybe I can learn a little more about you. So when I was young, I loved, loved to write. I wrote poetry because what? Highly sensitive. Poetry stories. I have written a few novels. (02:46) I've published poetry book out there. So I've always been in the writing realm. And this is now my baby book because it's like my purpose work mixed with just this dream I had to complete a book that I felt safe sharing with the world and that would help people. So I am so excited. I can't talk about the title or anything yet, obviously, until I'm promoting it. But I am so grateful for you guys to be supporting me through listening to this podcast. It has kept me going, kept me motivated. All of your emails and just even seeing how many listens and though my podcast has grown to top 1.5% in the world ...
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    27 mins
  • Highly Sensitive or Just Exhausted? Why Some People Affect You So Deeply
    Jan 6 2026
    Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling completely drained — replaying what was said, questioning yourself, or wondering why certain people affect you so deeply? In this episode, we explore the difference between being highly sensitive and being chronically exhausted from emotional unpredictability. If you’ve been healing from narcissistic or emotional abuse and still wonder why your body reacts so strongly in certain relationships, this episode offers clarity, relief, and a nervous-system-based explanation that finally makes sense. This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s about understanding how your body adapted — and what it actually needs to heal. Your Next Step in Healing If this episode explains you — and you’re realizing you’ve been trying to heal through willpower instead of safety and support — you don’t have to do this alone. I work 1:1 with women healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse who feel deeply, think deeply, and are ready to feel grounded, clear, and safe in their own bodies again. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade 📩 Questions or support: 00:00): If you are here because you have been healing from narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse, I want you to know this episode is still for you. This isn't me changing direction. It's me adding some context because so many people who were deep or are deeply affected by toxic relationships of any kind are also highly sensitive. Lucky us, we get to be a good old target. So no one really explains why that matters. So we're going to talk about a little bit of this, a little bit of that today. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. (00:52) Okay. So if you've ever wondered why certain people leave you completely drained, why you replay conversations in your head, why you feel things so deep, and maybe you've been told you're too sensitive, or why healing felt kind of linear, this episode might finally explain some of that to you. And more importantly, it might help you stop blaming yourself. I hear a lot of clients with a lot of shame and blame, and we're here to kick that to the curb. Okay. So are you highly sensitive or just attuned? So let's talk about what being highly sensitive actually means. Without the labels or the quizzes, highly sensitive people are not weak. They are deeply perceptive. So your nervous system picks up on the tone shifts in a conversation on emotional undercuts, right? Unspoken things, unspoken tension, and you pick up on inconsistencies. So you don't just hear words, you actually feel energy. (02:01) So someone could be saying one thing and you're feeling another. So you could sense, maybe you sense lying or deception. So you can be highly sensitive, but also a people pleaser. So that can be a mix of where you may even feel something's off, but you have been told you're too sensitive or you think too much or you're too analytical. So you kind of second guess yourself when you do actually get these kind of intuitive hits. So like I said, you don't just hear the words, you feel the energy. You're just an energy queen. That's all. It's great. So in safe environments, this is actually a gift. So yay, but not all environments are safe as we know. So in an unsafe or emotionally unpredictable environment, that same sensitivity can become very exhausting. So why do some people affect you so much? Here's the part not everyone explains in the narc world, right? (03:08) But your sensitivity didn't cause this harm. So yes, in a way, we can attract a certain somebody by being seen as someone who is empathetic and has a bleeding heart or whatever. But don't let go of it. Okay? We want to keep that. It's still okay to have, but it actually magnifies the impact. So it doesn't cause the harm, it magnifies the impact. If you grew up ...
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    14 mins
  • New Year, New Identity: Who Are You Without the Narcissist Controlling Your Life?
    Dec 30 2025
    If the new year feels confusing, quiet, or emotionally heavy after narcissistic abuse, this episode explains why — and what it actually means. After narcissistic abuse, healing isn’t about becoming a “new you.” It’s about shedding the survival identity you were forced into and reclaiming a self-led identity rooted in safety, peace, and self-trust. I offer longer-term 1:1 coaching containers designed to help you stabilize your nervous system, rebuild self-trust, and reclaim your peace in a grounded, sustainable way — especially during emotionally charged seasons. ✨ 3-Month Coaching Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ ✨ 6-Month Coaching Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ ✨ 12-Month Coaching Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Questions or support: 00:00): Oh, we are coming up on the New York Queens. It is almost 2026. And if the new year feels strange to you, a little out of the ordinary, maybe you're not rushing into your goals or your vision boards. I love a good vision board, by the way. If you feel quieter like you want to be not so peopley, it's not because you're stuck. It's because the version of you that survived narcissistic abuse is no longer who you are becoming. Today, we're going to talk about identity after narcissistic abuse and who you are when you're no longer being controlled, manipulated, or emotionally hijacked by somebody else. (00:49) Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen. This one's for you. Let's start here. This part really, really matters. The identity you had to become to survive. Okay? When you are in a narcissistic relationship, you don't have any kind where you are being controlled. You don't just lose time and energy. You lose access to yourself. I call it the solid brick. We're born this beautiful golden brick that has all these amazing things. That's us. That's our authentic self. And as we grow, and this could be in childhood, if it's also society and other people's shoulds and whatever, we've got all this dirt and stuff just covering that shiny, beautiful gold brick. If you are in a toxic or narcissistic relationship, it's basically a bunch of bullshit all over you, right? (02:00) Until you come onto the other side, grab hands with Christie Jade and we pull you out, wipe you off, shine you up, get your crown back. But you are losing access to that self, that golden version of you. So you may have had glimpses of it. You could have never really known it fully because it was lost also in childhood. You could have had parents and then toxic relationships after you were out of your house, what other situation is. But you become the version of you who stays alert, the version who anticipates others' moods. You know the eggshell walking on them. Yeah. The version who explains, well, over explains, softens, edits what you say adjusts or the version who survives by being easy. The people pleasing can come in there. And here's the truth no one really says out loud, but yours truly will because you know I'm a truth speaker. (03:05) Women don't leave a narcissist and step into freedom. They leave and they bring the survival identity with them. Okay? (03:20) That freedom is not something you just walk into immediately. So if you're thinking, why don't I know what I want? Not necessarily just relationship wise and different aspects of life. Why do I still feel on edge? Why doesn't the new year feel exciting? It's because your nervous system has not caught up to the fact that you are safe now. So why does the new year feel weird after narcissistic abuse? The new year brings space. It's a new space and the space can feel terrifying when chaos was familiar. I just had this talk with one of my clients today. You are so familiar with chaos. It's not saying you want it. It's not saying, "Oh, I desire chaos or I thrive off drama or whatever." It's just, especially if you've been going through something like this for years, it can really be terrifying when you now ...
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    27 mins
  • Why Narcissists Get Worse at Christmas (And Why It Triggers You So Deeply)
    Dec 23 2025
    Christmas is supposed to feel joyful — but for many women healing from narcissistic abuse, it feels heavy, tense, and emotionally exhausting. If you notice anxiety creeping in, your body staying on high alert, or old wounds resurfacing at Christmas — even if you’re no longer in the relationship — this episode will help you understand why. In this Christmas special, we’re breaking down why narcissists often get worse during the holidays, how Christmas activates trauma stored in the nervous system, and what you can do to protect your peace without forcing yourself to feel festive. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why narcissists are especially triggered by Christmas and family-centered events How holiday expectations create the perfect environment for manipulation and control Why your nervous system reacts before your mind can explain it Common ways narcissists sabotage Christmas, both subtly and overtly How to create a more regulated, emotionally safe holiday experience Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free) Learn how to set and hold boundaries without spiraling into guilt or over-explaining. https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 If you’re ready for deeper, supported healing — especially during emotionally charged seasons like the holidays — I offer longer-term 1:1 containers designed to help you stabilize, rebuild, and reclaim your peace over time. 3-Month Container Focused support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and begin rebuilding peace and self-trust. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Container Extended support to deepen the work, practice boundaries in real life, and integrate new patterns with consistency. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Container Long-term mentorship and steady support while you rebuild your life at a grounded, sustainable pace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Questions or support: https://christyjade.podbean.com/e/ep-5-the-grey-rock-method-how-to-disconnect-from-narcissistic-abusers/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, queens. If you have ever found yourself thinking, why does Christmas feel so heavy? Or why am I on edge when everyone else seems excited? This episode is for you because when you've dealt with a narcissist, Christmas doesn't really feel festive. It feels like pressure, performance, and emotional landmines. So today we're going to talk about why narcissists get worse at Christmas and why your body reacts before your mind even knows what's happening. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back? Well, you're in the right place, Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dried ice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here. To feel free, I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:07): Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun, because I'm sparkly in fun, so of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep that chamomile tea, silence all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Okay. So welcome back. I'm Christie Jade. If you are new here, welcome, welcome. This is Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. All the fun things about understanding the narcissist, recovering from the narcissist, starting your new life maybe without the narcissist or how to navigate if you do have to keep in touch with the narcissist, right? But the holidays can be so tricky in all of those ways. So if you're listening to this wall wrapping presents, sitting in your car, hiding in the bathroom, maybe with the chocolate, or trying to hold it together while everyone else is talking about how magical the season is, I want you to know something. (02:11): Nothing is wrong with you. If Christmas brings up dread instead of joy, if your chest feels tight, if you feel on edge, emotional or maybe numb and disconnected, this episode is going to help you. All right? So why do narcissists get worse at Christmas? You may have guessed this or felt like they do, but why would they? Let's start there. Christmas is emotionally loaded. A lot of expectations, as we all know, traditions, family pressure, kids making memories, performance, right? There's a lot of performing going on and narcissists thrive in environments like this. Christmas gives them built-in attention,...
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    25 mins