Before I started studying trauma and neglect, I associated the word regulation with rules and laws. Now it means so much more. And this word may be confusing because at least to me, it has two related but quite distinct meanings:

One meaning corresponds to arousal, or nervous system activation, sometimes also referred to as affect regulation, to use the language of Allan Schore, my first teacher about it.

The second meaning is about relationship regulation, or in other words one of my favorite topics: rupture and repair. Both tend to be sorely absent when there is trauma and neglect. Especially early in life. I often think of both as the "ground zero of development."

That is our topic for today's video, although it is a very rudimentary Introduction.

My recent injury has been a humbling reminder about regulation's traumatic counterpart: dysregulation. When runaway emotion from another time and place take over. Even after years of good trauma work! The best antidote of course, is safe, supportive attachments, with which I am now blessed! What a teacher this has all been!

A favorite old song I love describes Cuba and Puerto Rico as two wings of the same bird, I think of the two meanings of regulation that way.

This episode of All About Nothing is a visit into a chapter of my past. We touch on the intergenerational transmission of trauma, and how my internalization of my father's trauma became a drive to prove my "worthiness" through martyrdom; a look at the island of Cuba as an icon of self-reliance, much like our quintessential child of neglect; and a reflection on how unsafety can keep us stuck in ways that may sustain harm and isolation.

Thanks for joining us.

All Best Wishes of the Season, and a fervent hope for peace in this sorry world!

What do you get when you cross a person hyper-focused on the feelings, needs and reactions of the other, with a person completely isolated and alone and in their own solitary world?

"A one-person psychology."

In this episode we explore this often misunderstood characteristic of many a survivor of childhood neglect.