William Hale Harrison
AUTHOR

William Hale Harrison

Science Fiction & Fantasy
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Bill Harrison is a fat, balding, bearded and incredibly handsome writer and artist of international repute, author of such international bestsellers as The Old Man and the End of the World series, War and Peace, the Adventures of Tom Sawyer, See Spot Run, and the programming instructions that came with your VCR. As every schoolchild knows, his seminal 1912 painting “Nude Descending Staircase with Cheeseburger” is credited with starting both the Cubist movement and modern-day advertising. His giant white “St Louis Arch” still welcomes travelers to the Gateway to the West, though few people know that it’s constructed entirely of Silly String and the filling from Hostess Twinkies, and weighs only 42 pounds. His connection to the arts goes back to his childhood in the suburbs of Chicago, where he grew up in the same neighborhood as Titian, Rembrandt and Picasso. And although history books make no note of it, as a young apprentice he actually held the ladder for Michelangelo during the painting of the Sistine Chapel. "Beel!' Michelangelo would yell, "You queeta shakin' de damn ladder, eh?!!" Although his fame as an artist is worldwide, many people are unaware that he is also a prodigious inventor. Among his more notable creations are the cathode ray tube, the Hubble Orbiting Telescope, Daylight Savings Time, and cheese. In 2033, he won the Nobel Prize for his work on Time Travel. And he is still the only man ever to have painted a self-portrait for the cover of Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” issue. He now lives in his hidden mountaintop fortress in the remotest regions of South Elgin, Illinois with his gorgeous wife Joan, the former “Sheena, Queen of the Jungle” and his two boxers; “Zoey, The Wonder Dog,” and “Winnie, The Other Wonder Dog.” He is currently worshiped as a god on several islands in the South Pacific, and in our opinion, justifiably so. (Seriously, visit my website at WilliamHarrisonAuthor.com and sign up for my newsletter to hear about new releases and other cool stuff!)
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