Showing results by narrator "Joel Simler" in All Categories

A deviant kid tires of his absent father's antics and summons a curse that will kill him the moment he tells one of his tired zingers. Little does he know that this time, his dad has left for good.

Silver City is not the kind of place you'd want to be with no recollection of who or what you are. Especially if you happen to find yourself naked in a pig barn, with a fresh bullet hole in your forehead. Suffocated with overwhelming anger and seemingly superhuman strength, the dead man sets out to discover who is responsible, why he was targeted, and what the speckled gunk sealing his wounds is. Gangsters, police, and freakish creatures that dwell in the depths of the silver mines, the entire city is working to bring him down.

Hugo didn’t ask for this gift that his father, brilliant biologist Abednego Danner, bestowed upon him; a “gift” that promises a life of greatness. From being a baby that can launch himself from a second-story window unscathed, a boy that can leap canyons and hurl boulders, a football star that can beat an opposing team single-handed, a man capable of crushing an entire enemy platoon with his bare hands; surely such a person could steer the entire world to their whims. But, does the world hold any post for a man of such strength?

Joanna Landau and Michael Golden guide you through the actual steps needed to successfully counter one of the greatest threats facing the Jewish people today: a Next Generation that is less and less connected to both Israel and their own Jewish identity. Whether you’re a devoted advocate for Israel, a Jewish community leader, or just a concerned parent or grandparent, this book is for you.

The galaxy is a colorful place and Crustacea is no exception. Born on a whim of a madman, the planet of psychic crabs evolved through a combination of radiation, cosmic energy and what scientists could only describe as 'the right vibes'. Now, the crustacean leadership must deal with the impending arrival of the first ambassador from the United Commission of planets, renegade lobsters, and foul creatures lurking in the deep.

The Best of Bizarro Fiction: Vol. 2 features 11 carefully crafted surreal tales of the absurd, the hilarious, and the outright horrific. Edited by Matthew A. Clarke.

Sixth graders Dominic, Loop, and Z stumble upon a new magic shop in town and can't wait to spend their summer mastering cool tricks to gain access to the Vault, a key holders-only back room bound to hold all kinds of secrets. And once they get in, they set their sights even higher: a huge competition at the end of the summer. They work on their card tricks, sleights, and vanishing acts, trying to come up with the most awesome routines possible....Problem is, the trip is expensive, and it's money that each guy's family just doesn't have.

Amrapali Anna Singh is an historian and analyst capable of discerning the most cryptic and trivial details from audio recordings. One day, a mysterious man appears at her office in Dutch Harbor, Alaska, having traveled a great distance to bring her three Type IV audio cassettes that bear the stamp of a library in Buenos Aires that may or may not exist. On the cassettes is the deposition of an adventure journalist and his obsessive pursuit of an amorphous, legendary, and puzzling "City of Dreams."

Sunny—short for Sunshine—is the best there is. And she’s got at least ten years on me, so it’s not like there can be anything romantic. Older women have never been my vibe. So I’ll spend the time with her, alone on the boat, and soak up all the things she has to teach me. And do everything in my power to ignore just how good she looks while she does it.