Showing results by author "Paul Jennings" in All Categories

Stare, if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. Nine stories that you would never dream of. From one of Australia's most popular authors.

It's unbearable... The bird's perch is swinging to and fro and hitting me on the nose. I can see my eye in its little mirror. Unbearably weird... You have the foulest feet ever. There are flies for lunch. A goat swallows your opal. And you have lived before.

Sprocket's lost his memory; Amy's lost her dad. So now the two of them are on a quest that will take them to the weirdest nudist colony in the world - a hidden community whose dangerous experiments are keeping the nudists alive artificially. Now that their secret is out, are Amy and Sprocket's lives in peril?

"This is unbelievable. This is unreal. What is going on here? First I get a toilet seat stuck around my face and now this little parrot is following me around."

Unseen events like... the dead coming back to life...

Stephen's bra is starting to slip. His pantyhose are sagging. His knickers keep falling down. Oh, the shame of it. He stole a gizmo, and now it's paying him back. Another crazy yarn from Australia's master of madness.

Stare if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. How will you stop a thousand rabbits breeding in your bedroom?

Stare if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. What happens when you grow younger?

I'm undone....Yes, I know. I'm a fink. A rat. A creep. Nobody likes Eric Mud and it's all my fault. But I don't deserve this, do I?

From Australia's multi-award-winning master of madness Paul Jennings comes the long-awaited and much-asked-for new collection of strange and startling stories guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Have you ever swallowed a live fish? Seen bugs in hailstones? Had luminous teeth? Used a smell-detector? Been a ghost? No? Then read about eight kids who have!Eight twisted tales to leave you tongue-tied!

On the other side of the fence horrible, gobbling squeals came from THE SLOBBERERS as they fought over the bloody trail I had left behind.

A collection of different adventures and lands by best-selling and award-winning author Paul Jennings. A Different Dog. The forest is dense and dark. And the trail full of unexpected perils. The dog can’t move. The boy can’t talk. And you won’t know why. Or where you are going. You will put this story down not wanting the journey to end.

Oh yuck. The mice were running up my trousers. They wriggled under my shirt. They were even inside my underpants. Mice, madness, and mayhem.

The dog sniffs Jimmy's legs. Jimmy sniffs the dog's legs. The dog sniffs Jimmy's bottom. Jimmy sniffs... aaargh. Horrible, horrible, horrible. It's a dog?s life for Jimmy when the Gizmo gets really gross. A third Gizmo yarn from Australia's master of madness.

In the telling of his own tale, children's author and screenwriter Paul Jennings demonstrates how seemingly small events can combine into a compelling drama. As if assembling the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, he puts together fragments, memories and anecdotes to reveal the portrait of a complex and weathered soul.

Jack did something awful with an ice cream: now it's his turn to get licked. The girl sucks Jack's eye. Her tongue is huge and spongy and dribbly. The tip of it goes up one nostril.

Singenpoo wanted me to follow. She had written a sign the only way she could. What a relief. What a cat. Singenpoo does a disappearing act. And she might not be back.

"Get the doctor," said Dad. "The poor thing is green." "Give it to me," said Mum and took the baby away from Chris. At once it screwed up its nose, closed its eyes and stopped breathing. It started turning purple again. A father at eight years old? It could only be a Paul Jennings story. And it is.

"Charge!" came Gramps' excited voice. I gasped. The frog general was as big as a full-grown cow. He started to roll his tongue back into his mouth. He was going to slurp me up and slide me down his throat.

Reptile spun the wheel and expertly changed gear. We screeched round a corner. I was flung back against the seat. Desperately I hung on to the howling baby. 'When your father finds out what you've done', I yelled at the blond boy, 'you're in for it.' I stared at them trying to take it in. I was being kidnapped at high speed in a military vehicle by a bunch of little brats.... Uncovering deadly secret after deadly secret, Amy and Sprocket are lured deeper into a mystery that gets more exciting with every minute.

"I burst out of a clump of bushes and froze. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky were several massive shapes. What if Eileen had infected something else? What if the hospital had cockroaches? Or bedbugs? What if the frogs weren't all dead? I stifled a scream."