Trashy Royals

By: Hemlock Creatives
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  • Summary

  • Whether it's the debauchery of ancient Roman emperors, the Tudor crime family, the shenanigans behind the Chair of St. Peter, or the Austrian elites’ attempts to save themselves by trading their daughters to other royal houses, it turns out that our betters have always been among our worst. Join Alicia and Stacie from Trashy Divorces as we turn our jaded eyes to a different kind of moral garbage fire: Trashy Royals! Thursdays. Brought to you by Hemlock Creatives.
    2018-2023 Hemlock Creatives
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Episodes
  • 98. Bring Out Your Dead: Royal Fascinations with Dead Bodies

    98. Bring Out Your Dead: Royal Fascinations with Dead Bodies
    Jan 30 2025
    We regret to inform you that today's legal regime of protecting corpses from desecration is a modern development, and even worse, royals have a rich history of relying on them for all sorts of things. Today we get into the alleged curative powers of corpses, especially among Spain's Hapsburg leaders a few centuries back. Don Carlos himself, whom we covered last week, is said to have recovered from that serious head wound he received with the help of a local miracle-maker named Diego de Alcala - a Franciscan lay brother who had died some hundred years before. Apparently the Spanish royals frequently slept beside the corpses of the venerated long dead. For instance, Isidore the Farmer was born around 1070 in Madrid and, over the course of his life, developed a bit of a legend for alleged miracles and feeding the poor. In death, his legend continued to grow, resulting in him being declared a Saint in the Catholic Church in 1619, then having his teeth pulled out to be placed under Charles II of Spain's pillows to aid his many ailments in 1696. Speaking of Charles IIs, England had one, too, and he also had a penchant for human body parts. In his case though, the medicinal aspect was attained through consuming a tincture made from human skull fragments. And best of all, "The King's Drops" became all the rage across Europe for a century or more, which was certainly one way to put the remains of your ancestors to work for you. Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast. To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    50 mins
  • 97. Don Carlos, Prince of Asturias

    97. Don Carlos, Prince of Asturias
    Jan 23 2025
    We've often marveled at the incestuous nature of royal marriages in Europe, but the inbreeding really came to a head in 16th century Spain, when King Philip II married and had a son with his double first cousin, Maria Manuela of Portugal. Carlos, their baby boy, came into the world with significant disadvantages; his legs were different lengths and his spine curved abnormally, causing problems with his gait and posture. These are issues to be compassionate about, but Carlos's behavior from infancy forward tended toward the violent and sadistic. He injured his wet nurses by biting them, and was known to torture animals and humans alike as a child and adolescent. It's unclear whether his behavioral issues might have been inherited as well; among his four great-grandparents (most people have eight) and six great-great-grandparents (most people have sixteen) was Juana I of Castile, better known to us as Juana the Mad. While Carlos was clearly unfit to become a monarch, Philip II was in a bit of a bind because he had no other sons, and his wives - he would be married four times in total - kept dying on him. Carlos's mother, Philip's first wife, died from complications from delivering him, Mary I of England died four years into their childless marriage, Elisabeth of Valois - originally betrothed to Carlos - died after nine years of marriage and several daughters, and finally, Anna of Austria was able to produce a living heir before she died after ten years of marriage. In the meantime, Philip found himself going to extreme lengths to protect his kingdom from his son - perhaps even by murdering him. Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast. To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    57 mins
  • 96. Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury

    96. Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury
    Jan 16 2025
    One of the more fascinating women of the Tudor era was actually one of the last Plantagenets, Margaret Plantagenet, later Margaret Pole, Countess of Salisbury. Daughter of George, Duke of Clarence (he of Malmsey wine fame), and a niece to both King Edward IV and King Richard III, Margaret and her brother were taken into the care of King Henry VII after Richard's defeat at Bosworth Field. Henry's wife, Elizabeth of York, was Margaret's cousin, and perhaps because of his insecurities about his claim to the throne, Henry preferred to keep the remaining Plantagenets close. As a consequence, Margaret had a front-row seat to some of the most consequential moments in the reigns of Henry VII and Henry VIII, including as a lady-in-waiting to Catherine of Aragon, who would become a close a friend across the decades. But she also suffered mightily; Henry VII imprisoned and then executed her brother, and after the death of her husband, Hank VII kept her nearly destitute through the confiscation of the Salisbury estate, rightfully her brother's Earldom. When Henry VIII succeeded his father - and Catherine of Aragon made a big return - Margaret was made whole, becoming one of only two women in 16th century England who was a peer in her own right. Her success as a landowner did not sit well with the increasingly paranoid Henry VIII, who spent her last decade cracking down on her children, and eventually put Margaret into the Tower of London for a couple of years before Henry ordered her executed on the Tower Green on May 27, 1541. A contemporary report has it that she taunted her inexperienced executioner to the last. Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast. To advertise on this podcast, reach out to info@amplitudemediapartners.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 1 min

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