Episodes

  • Ep. 65. New Jersey (Part 1)

    Ep. 65. New Jersey (Part 1)
    Sep 6 2022
    Ah, New Jersey, where the men are angry sentient grease, the women are mistresses, the children are diners and strip malls, the young adults are pollution and capicola is gabagool. All this and more absolutely inexplicable nonsense as we're joined by Marti's future brother-in-law, Nick Tazza of Algernon Cadwallader to discuss the state that god forgot.

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    1 hr and 16 mins
  • Ep. 64. Minnesota (Part 1)

    Ep. 64. Minnesota (Part 1)
    Aug 23 2022
    Welcome to Minnesota featuring Tane Graves from the mighty Tightwire. Minnesota has been called a lot of things: the place where Fargo is (it's not), mean Wisconsin (eh..more true than you may think), and the Canadian south (completely true). Come for the snow, stay for the hot dish, then die and hear the whisperings all about how you really let yourself go in those last few months from beyond the grave. 

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    38 mins
  • Ep. 63. Return to America (Part One)

    Ep. 63. Return to America (Part One)
    Jul 12 2022
    After what I'm sure seemed like an aimless 40-year roam through the desert without your favorite podcast, we're back! Friend of the show Tim Browne of Elway fame joins us once more and we do what we do best: aimlessly bullshit. There are facts! There are stories! And there's probably some other stuff too. I forget. 

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    7 mins
  • Ep. 62. Pennsylvania (Part One)

    Ep. 62. Pennsylvania (Part One)
    May 24 2022

    We are joined by the star of Uncle Peckerhead, Jeff Riddle this week. Anyhow, what can we say about Pennsylvania that we couldn’t say about any spot anywhere where people eat horseshit to celebrate sports victories and throw batteries at their enemies like some sort of perverse tradition? Come for the liberty bell, stay for the deeply encrusted grime that saturates every single surface in every city. OR, go to the country and fuck someone with a beard through a sheet. 

    The choice is yours, yo.


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    38 mins
  • Ep. 61. Georgia (Part One)

    Ep. 61. Georgia (Part One)
    May 3 2022
    What can you say about Georgia that can't be said about John Wayne Gacy: it fucks children up for life, it's fat, it's adorable and every once in a while the incomparable Corey Ryan Forrester pulls out long enough for us to chat with him. This is one for the ages. Corey is a lot funnier than most and also a lot smarter than most. Which, he's from Georgia? Weird. 

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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Ep. 60. Massachusetts (Part One)

    Ep. 60. Massachusetts (Part One)
    Apr 19 2022
    Massholes, massdongs, masclams and mastits, get ready for the most uncompromisingly grating episode yet. This week we visit Massachusetts with Tom from new Red Scare Industries signees No Trigger. Massachusetts truly has everything: racists, chowder, racism, insufferable sports teams, and also racism. If you haven't signed up for our Patreon yet, you'll miss out on stories that include someone getting stabbed in the head with a toothbrush and a fire of sorts. If you're one of our patrons, congrats on not being a cheap fuck. 

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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • Ep. 59. Utah (Part One)

    Ep. 59. Utah (Part One)
    Apr 5 2022
    When the ground is salt and the beer is illegal, where do you turn? That’s right, weird religion. Join us as we discuss the only state in America where you can kinda get away with having a few wives. We’re happy to host Justin Yates, engineer to the stars, as we dissect this impossibly boring layer of earth’s discarded pie crust. 

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    1 hr and 21 mins
  • Ep. 58. Stories!

    Ep. 58. Stories!
    Mar 29 2022
    What happens when you hit up your homie from Utah to do your podcast? His tour bus breaks down and he blows it completely. So instead, we bring you quite possibly the most epic They Come To America yet. Marti and Beex bring you facts about literally everything and stories from our Illinois lives. One of these stories is only 2 weeks old. Don't sleep on this one, because unlike the rest of em, it's good. 

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    1 hr and 22 mins