• The One About... Rock Tumbling Through A Simulation Theory

  • Oct 17 2024
  • Length: 54 mins
  • Podcast

The One About... Rock Tumbling Through A Simulation Theory

  • Summary

  • It's time for another mind-bending episode of "On Hiatus," where we tumble through the rocks of reality and come out... slightly more confused than before.

    In this week's episode, "Rock Tumbling Through a Simulation Theory," we join our intrepid heroes, Grant and Jason, as they navigate the treacherous waters of mental health, masculinity, and... geology? Yeah, you heard that right.

    Excited to be off hiatus, Grant, proudly boasts about his year-long tear drought. Congrats, buddy! Nothing says "I'm doing great" like emotional constipation. But hold onto your hand sanitizer, because we're not done taking a nosedive into how Covid turned his world upside down faster than Carol Baskins did to the Tiger King.

    Now, here's where it gets interesting... (Show code secret time: This whole episode was originally part of the conversation from last weeks episode, but thematically it didn't all work as one coheisive unit so Jay, being the humble superstar editor that he is decided to do his job and this is what you get. Podcasting Gold.) So continuing from last weeks conversation (wink, wink) Grant's questioning his manhood because he's not sure he could survive alone in the woods for a week. Newsflash, Grant: most of us can barely survive a week without WiFi, let alone in the wilderness. But our boy takes it up to eleven, imagining himself as the sole survivor of a plane crash. Spoiler alert: in this scenario, the bears are probably placing bets on how long he'll last. (If you'll recall, Jay would be one of those bears)

    Jason, ever the optimist, suggests turning this existential crisis into content for season 4. Because nothing says "ratings gold" like watching two podcasters fumble their way through survival scenarios. It's like "Naked and Afraid," but with more clothes and even more fear. But no tears! Never again with that sentimental sewer drainage.

    In the immortal words of Grant Markham, "But wait, there's more!" We dive headfirst into the rabbit hole of simulation theory. As the Ginger, not yet stimulated to anger, asks "Are we living in my simulation or yours?" The answer might surprise you... or not, because let's face it, if this was Grant's simulation, we'd all be metal detecting through grey matter till a box filled with accountability rocks gets found and immedietly tumbled.

    Speaking of which, Grant's got a new addiction... to rock tumbling That's right, rock tumbling! But who knew turning rocks into slightly smoother rocks could be so expensive? ...and here is where Jason's inner Angry Ginger makes an appearance. We'll just leave it to the audio.

    We wrap up with a spicy discussion on SSRIs, numbing effects, and potential side gigs as shopaholics or sex addicts. You know, just your average Sunday morning chat.

    And here's the kicker, folks: turns out Grant's meds might be turning him into a big spender after all. Who knew polishing rocks could be such a slippery slope? I guess you could say he's really... getting his rocks off. One thing is for sure though... "He's never going to financially recover from this!"

    Tune in next time when we'll probably be discussing Grant's new addiction to collecting dryer lint or Jason's sudden urge to become a professional financial guru specializing in stupid purchase beat downs. Until then, keep questioning reality and tumbling those rocks!

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