Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, we ponder the confluence of factors that has brought together the unholy trinity of Roger Moore, Guy Hamilton, and JW Pepper. Thankfully this mess is saved by Christopher Lee’s superb Scaramanga. Join us as we jump on his junk to journey through a melange of Asian cultures in The Man with the Golden Gun.

* The pre-titles sequence provides an opportunity to push through a long list of poorly-thought-through puns. The comedy turns to horror when the titles sequence credits mention the Hamilton/Pepper combination.

* Bond teaches the viewer much more than they could possibly need to know about Scaramanga, before once again abusing the far-too-generous leave allowances at MI6.

* Now that Bond is off the clock, his first stop is a Middle-Eastern strip club. His much-less-glamorous second stop involves some Middle-Eastern laxatives.

* Once that is out of his system, Bond makes his way to Macau to play some Travel Trouble at the casino.

* In Hong Kong, Bond demonstrates how easy it is to break into any old hotel room you want. Then we learn the classy way to assault a lady is to offer her some post-traumatic champagne.

* Bond narrowly avoids death at the Bottoms Up Club, before being whisked away to M’s crooked office aboard a shipwreck.

* Bond leaves Hip to meet Hi Fat and Chew Mee - as Guy Hamilton does his best to cram in every cultural convention from the entire continent of Asian nations, including a completely unnecessary scene at a karate school.

* Speaking of completely unnecessary parts of this film, once again a boat chase leads to us meeting up with Sheriff JW Pepper… Ugh.

* Bond turns Goodnight into a pile of pillows, before forcing her to listen as he and Andrea come together.

* Bond and Scaramanga finally meet at Thai kickboxing, which leads to one of the coolest Bond stunts (backed by the least-cool sound: a slide-whistle) before Scaramanga’s car flies away with Goodnight in the trunk.

* Bond flies to Scaramanga’s island lair with three goals. We applaud the film’s location scouts, we hypothesise that Scaramanga is a “dark side” version of Bond, and we consider the irony of Bond’s demise being potentially triggered by a bikini-clad bottom.

* We finish on some junk - Bond packs one last assassin into a suitcase, before M mystifyingly calls Scaramanga’s direct line.

Official SPECTRE etc Theory (OffSeT) #9: Guy Hamilton is not a skilled director. Matt has been pushing this barrow for almost the whole run of podcasts, and it would seem he has finally beaten the rest of SPECTRE Etc into submission. Formerly, Matt has railed against Hamilton speeding up footage unnecessarily, adding scenes that contribute nothing to the plot, and showing a lack of depth perception on the greenscreen. This film’s jarring mashup of menacing thriller and schoolboy farce is the last straw!

And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition to force the Bottoms Up barmaid responsibilities to be limited to nothing more than cracking cans of beer!

Worst Impersonation Trophy:

After winning a couple of WITs since Connery left, Col bounces back by rattling off a series of excellent impersonations. Col masterfully mimics Goodnight, that little boy, and even Mrs Pepper… But then Col’s impersonation of Roger Moore negotiating has Col crashing back to Earth. Unfortunately Roger is going to be with us for a while - Col will have to stick to the co-stars!

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