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💡 SPOTLIGHTED BOOK : Wild Mind by Bill Plotkin

📚 GUEST READER : Andrei Stoicescu

💬 CONVERATION HIGHLIGHTS:

• growing from a place of unknowing
• not knowing where/when you will learn - it can happen at any time
• we often forget that we are a part of nature
• eco-psychology lens
• we live in an ecosystem and don't recognize our interdependence
• eco-centric -- start from the place of recognizing the nature and niche around us
• you can work with metaphor without understanding it
• you can live beyond knowledge and understanding
• you don't know what "cold" is before you experience it
• we communicate through our energy, not just our words
• Four facets of the self - Interpersonal View of the Self
  • Feeling Things
  • Using your Senses
  • Using our Intellect
  • Using our Imagination
• What happens if these facets are mature/immature?
• Many of us are stuck in perpetual adolescence
• We often develop our facets based on what the world needs of us at the time
• Knowing your mature facet, and look toward the other facets to help you grow
• Miscommunication can occur when our strong facets collide with other facets
• What happens on your team when it's dominated by certain archetypes/facets?
• Dysfunction on teams occurs when we don't understand ourselves more deeply, and those of our colleagues
• Meet yourself from the different facets and treat yourself with compassion
• Shifting our strategies that worked in childhood that don't work as adults
• Improve your leadership not through tactical ways, but through self-exploration
• Beginner's mind and humility in leadership
• Look for the patterns in your life
• Seeing the gift in the other facets of of self
• All of us have a "wounded self" - can we have compassion for our self and that of others
• Turn a sacred wound into a sacred scar
• Break the promises you made to yourself when you were young
• When we choose not to do the work, we pay in non-financial ways, so why not pay someone to help you do the work.

📚 OTHER BOOKS MENTIONED:

• Soul Craft, also by Bill Plotkin

ℹ GUEST BIO AND LINKS:

Born in an industrial town of a soon to come out of communism Romania, I fell in love with books and stories in primary school. I have loved music and singing for as long as I can remember and I dabbled with acting until I went to university. I left Architecture after 4 years of studies (out of 6) and quit working in Architecture and Design (after 5 years), started doing odd jobs until, at 25, I ended up in a (then) more than 100.000 employee corporation where I received an Employee of the Year award (in my service center) after my first year for opening a new business line. I joined a (then) small ESG Research provider as an Engineer and worked my way up to Director of Engineering in 4 years. Even before the pandemic came I felt that I need a shift in how I approach things in life so I quit climbing the corporate ladder and started studying Philosophy and Psychology. I hold the same position with my employer and do my best to be there with my team, colleagues and friends. I continued to make music throughout my life and am now working to create my own music-oriented company that will hopefully launch next year.

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrei-stoicescu/

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LIVRE: Les structures fondamentales des sociétés humaines de Bernard Lahire
INVITÉ : Aïda Koné

Resumé:

• Comprendre les groupes humains
• Psychologie - focus sur l'individuel
• Sociologie - focus sur le groupe
• Racines communes entre les groupes
• Identifiez les différentes strates -- dimensions biologiques, sociales et culturelles
• Pour un facilitateur ou coach d'équipe, c'est bien de savoir où tu vas réagir le groupe -- par quelle couche
• Les couches sont bien mélanges
• Comment on est élevé, c'est la couche culturelle
• Métaphore utilisée -- le barba papa - le bâton, c'est la biologie, les aspects sociaux et culturels se tournent autour du bâton
• On a plusieurs dimensions dedans nous - empathique/coopératif et compétitif/dominant - l'un ET l'autre, pas l'un OU l'autre
• On se ressemble fort quand on a un grand danger - catastrophe naturelle
• Les liens de forces sociologue -- il y a 10 dans le livre -- un est le rapport de domination
• Les humaines sont l'animal qui reste dépendant sur nos parents le plus longs possible
• La hiérarchie est naturelle pour nous, donc il faut qu'on prenne attention quand on crée une culture
• Connaissance de soi -- c'est quoi ma culture personnelle et ma response de domination/contrôle?
• Pas tout le monde préfère une entreprise avec le management horizontale
• Le conflit a un aspect positif -- les gens son engagée
• Les valeurs sont exprimées dans le conflit
• Pas tous les conflits ont besoin d'un modérateur/trice
• On s'adapte à la culture ou on est
• Voit l'aspect positif dont on ne perd pas l'espoir
• Les femmes a le rôle de porter les bébés, donc ça donner le rôle d'hommes plus tôt à l'extérieur
• On est dans une transition vers l'égalité entre hommes et femmes
• Petites étapes pour garder l'espoir
• Il n'y a pas une hiérarchie entre biologie et culture

Autres livres mentionnée:

• Humankind by Rutger Bergman

BIOGRAPHIE D'AÏDA:
J'accompagne les dynamiques collectives en contexte de transformation avec les postures de coach d'équipes, facilitatrice, designer et formatrice.
Je suis particulièrement sensible aux enjeux de la transition écologique qui nous invitent à questionner nos interactions entre humains et avec le vivant dans son ensemble.

J'ai 48 ans, j'ai fait des études d'arts appliqués et ai travaillé dans la communication et le marketing avant de m'orienter vers l'accompagnement

LIEN LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aida-kone

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Spotlight Book: That's What She Said by Joanne Lipman
Guest : Dominique Ara

Conversation Highlights:

• soft skills are people to people
• transgender experiences can give a peak into how our gender biases show up
• hard to recognize that we live in a man's world
• not only men interrupt women - women do it too
• we're not dreaming - the experience of the world is different if you are a man or a woman
• need more sponsors versus mentors
• mentors - give us advice, been there before, tactical approaches
• sponsor - pave the way for us, put our name forward for
• mentorship can create more women acting like men
• the way we are conditioned can set up how we see the gender differences
• how to integrate when you are the "only"
• when you're trained to look at the differences in order to better integrate
• women have learned to talk "men"
• empowerment - the permission to not "act as if" but to act as I am
• team up with the people who think like me
• 20% of the people can change a system
• the power of getting together with others to change the system
• men are not the "bad guys" - they are shamed for being a man
• men are good people who have been conditioned into this system
• when courtesy becomes condescending
• when men don't say anything when they could/should
• the risk of speaking up that men feel -- they may disagree, but they don't speak up because they don't want to lose power/rank among the men
• coming in new to an organization where there is already a hierarchy - create a shared community and purpose that flattens the hierarchy
• when bad habits come back under pressure/stress
• understanding when/how I feel threatened, and what behaviors come up when under threat
• until proven otherwise, men are seen as competent -- until proven otherwise, women are seen as Incompetent
• what if women don't have imposter syndrome or confidence issues - it's just that the system forces women to prove ourselves more
• blind auditions in symphonies/orchestras - erases some of the bias
• Iceland as the number 1 ranked country for gender equity -- and it's not the women involved, it's the men
• the action men take need to NOT discredit themselves
• alliances between men/women to amplify one another's voices
• educate our boys differently

12 TIPS from the book:

1. Interrupt Interrupters
2. Use Amplification and Brag Buddies
3. Diversify interviewers, not just the applicants
4. She'll help your bottom line
5. She's not sorry, she's not lucky, and she's not asking you a question
6. Yay, that's not a compliment
7. She's pretty sure you don't respect her
8. Don't decide for her
9. Don't be afraid of tears
10. She's ready for a raise, but she won't ask for her
11. Hire women your mom's age
12. She deserves a promotion, she just doesn't know it yet.

Other Books Mentioned:

• Belonging by Owen Eastwood

GUEST BIO:
Dominique provides teams and organizations with the best appropriate medicine to heal interpersonal communication diseases. She aims to energize and empower people to transform their future by expressing their full potential today. Dominique helps corporation executives to align their core values into everyday life. She is a senior-certified coach in Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ).

You can find out more at:
https://dominique-ara.com/en/about/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dominique-ara/

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