• Stephen: For This Adoptee, Reunion Led to Surprises

  • Oct 15 2024
  • Length: 1 hr and 4 mins
  • Podcast

Stephen: For This Adoptee, Reunion Led to Surprises

  • Summary

  • Stephen Grochol is a Financial Planner in San Mateo, CA. He and his wife
    just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and they have two daughters.
    He is a post-Baby Scoop and post-Roe v. Wade adoptee. Born in Oakland,
    CA in 1974 he is the oldest of three. One brother was adopted and the
    youngest was not.

    Stephen’s adoptive parents went through a private doctor for this process.
    He was relinquished immediately after birth and whisked home to Pacifica
    where he grew up. A stroke of luck occurred when his Aunt and
    Godmother procured the names of his birth parents during his delivery.
    As time went on things within his family unit started to unravel. His younger
    brother, also adopted, started suffering mental health issues and was
    ultimately diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar. The family was
    hamstrung by the fact his medical records were sealed by the state of
    California. This was the prompt that Stephen needed to start the reunion
    process, for real.

    His parents were amazingly supportive throughout the entire search for
    reunion. This just made things okay. On his 28th birthday, armed with “the
    adoption file” he was able to quickly track down his birth father. They have
    been in reunion since 2003.

    Tracking down his birth mother was a much more difficult task. Two weeks
    after he was born the birth parents broke up and she joined a church that
    had some “cult-like” qualities. In 2017, Stephen and his birth father used
    Ancestry DNA to narrow the search for her. It worked! It’s here where he
    met a half-sister on his mother’s side. From there he was able to finally
    track down their birth mother on Halloween of all dates.

    The reunion with both parents and the siblings has been filled with joy and
    happiness. There have been several family reunions where Stephen finally
    feels like he’s “wearing the right uniform.” Of course, no reunion is perfect
    but we are pretty close.

    It’s after all this that Stephen has come out of the fog. Listening to Sarah
    and Louise, along with more specialized therapy are major factors for this.
    Stephen is quite familiar with fog as he grew up in Pacifica…. One of the
    foggiest towns in California. Sunny days lie ahead….

    The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler

    Exciting News!
    We will be reading and discussing: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.
    Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.

    Magic Mind/ADOPTIONTRIAL: USE CODE: ADOPTEETRIAL
    USE THE CODE AND LINK TO: receive a 3-sample pack for free.


    RESOURCES for Adoptees
    S12F Helping Adoptees
    Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
    Joe Soll & other adoptee resources
    Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
    Reckoning with the Primal Wound Documentary
    Dr. Li

    Support the show

    To support the show - Patreon.

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