Learn how mastering your anxiety with simple, God-given tools like deep breathing can transform your leadership in the moments that matter most.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Audrey Davidheiser in Ep. 284, How to Respond Thoughtfully Instead of Reacting:

"If you feel anxious or rushed or concerned or fearful, deep breaths. Because taking deep breaths from the belly is just a natural way that God has instilled in our brain, that it just kind of resets the nervous system and it allows ourselves to come back up online."

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Leaders reset their nervous system by taking deep, belly breaths when feeling anxious or stressed.
• Leaders make wiser decisions when they calm themselves before responding to difficult situations.
• Leaders enhance their effectiveness by admitting their own anxiety instead of denying it.
• Leaders move from reactive anger to thoughtful action by recognizing when they are emotionally “activated.”
• Leaders cultivate calm as a leadership skill to better focus on their mission and serve others.

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Why is it so hard for pastors and church people to be truly open and honest with one another? In ministry, we talk a lot about authenticity, vulnerability, and grace—but in reality, putting those ideals into practice can feel risky, messy, and even dangerous.

In this episode, Tom Bennardo, author of Open-Hearted People, Soul-Connected Church, draws on decades of pastoral experience to unpack the journey from guarded exteriors to soul-connected community, offering practical wisdom for leaders who want to foster deeper spiritual formation and resilience through messy, honest, and grace-filled relationships.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Markus Watson introduces the idea that some traditions focus on good behavior as the main thing God desires.
• Tom Bennardo strongly asserts that God is most interested in our hearts and souls, not primarily our outward behavior.
• The center of spiritual life is the soul—the inner person—and when our hearts are transformed, right behavior naturally follows.
• Many people develop performance-based Christianity and need to unlearn legalistic mindsets to embrace grace.
• Tom Bennardo describes his journey from legalism to understanding grace as central to authentic spiritual formation.
• The true spiritual transformation flows from inward honesty, authenticity, and a willingness to reveal one's real self to God and others.
• Tom Bennardo defines “open heartedness” as direct, honest engagement of one’s soul—with God, oneself, and others.
• Spiritual growth requires level-three honesty: openly acknowledging the present condition of our soul, not just past mistakes or surface facts.
• Open hearted living involves being vulnerably honest not only with God, but also with ourselves and select others.
• Markus Watson suggests that being open hearted in relationship—with self, God, and others—can provoke anxiety, especially regarding sharing with other people.
• Creating authentic community requires churches to move beyond surface relationships, foster deeper honesty, and cultivate environments where vulnerability is safe and valued.
• Tom Bennardo highlights the importance of leaders modeling open heartedness before expecting it from congregations.
• Spiritual leaders must prioritize genuine relationships rather than merely teaching principles from a distance; transformation is “caught as much as taught.”
• Open heartedness builds resilience in leaders, enabling them to face challenges and change with trust in God rather than rigid control or certainty about the future.
• Tom Bennardo encourages leaders to pursue a collaborative, open-handed approach, trusting God’s guidance and fostering group discernment rather than solitary authority.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• https://tombennardo.com/
• Books mentioned:
  • Open-hearted People, Soul-Connected Church, by Tom Bennardo
• Related episodes:
  • 262. From Fired to Flourishing, with Chuck DeGroat
  • 266. The Church as Shalom Maker, with Terry A. Smith
  • 288. Leadership

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Learn how breaking out of your comfort zone and embracing new perspectives can transform your leadership and help dismantle bias in your church.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Erin Devers in Ep. 282, The Cost of Bias in the Church:

“One of the strategies for reducing bias is to go bigger, to widen your perspective.”

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• People tend to hold onto their biases because they find comfort and safety in the familiar.
• Leaders confuse discomfort with genuine danger, which prevents them from widening their perspectives.
• Leaders can intentionally broaden their outlook by seeking out diverse voices and saying yes to experiences that feel scary.
• Leaders maintain vibrancy and effectiveness by practicing humility and curiosity rather than clinging to expertise.
• Interacting with people from different backgrounds energizes leaders and equips them to lead change more confidently.

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Jews for Jesus helps Jewish people come to know Jesus, the Jewish Messiah. What’s fascinating is how Jews for Jesus has not only remained committed to that mission of sharing the hope of the Jewish Messiah, but has also adapted as the world around it has changed. As ministry leaders, we face the tension between time-honored tradition and the need for fresh approaches—and the story of Jews for Jesus offers some compelling lessons in adaptive leadership.

In this episode, Aaron Abramson, CEO of Jews for Jesus and author of Mission Design, shares how Jews for Jesus has reimagined its strategies for sharing the gospel, as well as how leaders can cultivate a posture of learning and flexibility without compromising core convictions.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Jews for Jesus began as a movement to share the gospel with Jewish people, focusing on presenting the message in accessible and relevant ways.
• Aaron Abramson clarifies that believing in Jesus as the Messiah does not require abandoning Jewish identity.
• The earliest followers of Jesus were Jewish, and the concept of Gentiles joining Jesus was initially controversial in the early church.
• Markus Watson asks Aaron Abramson to share his own journey of faith and what led him to believe in Jesus as the Messiah.
• Religious and cultural barriers often make it challenging for Jewish people to consider faith in Jesus.
• Jews for Jesus historically used bold street evangelism, including handing out creative broadsides and literature on college campuses.
• Aaron Abramson observes that the primary strategy for evangelism shifted as cultural contexts and modes of communication changed.
• The rise of digital communication made traditional street evangelism less effective for connecting with Jewish people.
• Aaron Abramson describes pivoting to a process of empathetic listening and learning from the communities he was trying to reach.
• Teams at Jews for Jesus began to adopt audience-centric communication, tailoring their approach for different Jewish communities and subgroups.
• Aaron Abramson explains the development of new outreach models, such as setting up coffee shops and arts ministries as relational spaces.
• Ministry teams use design thinking, prototyping, and iteration to refine new strategies and measure their impact.
• Changing methodologies and staying adaptive allow Jews for Jesus to remain effective in reaching diverse Jewish audiences.
• Markus Watson highlights the importance of continually learning and adapting, affirming that keeping a posture of learning leads to meaningful change.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Jews for Jesus website
• “So Be It” Youtube channel
• Books mentioned:
  • Mission Design, by Aaron Abramason
  • Center Church, by Tim Keller
• Related episodes:
  • 187: Tackling Adaptive Challenges in Church Leadership, with Angie Ward
  • 264: Building a Future-Focused Church, with Kara Powell, Jake Mulder, and Raymond Ch

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Explore how real transformation in spiritual leadership begins with listening deeply to your community and letting curiosity—not certainty—shape your mission.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Shannon Kiser in Ep. 280, Empowering Leaders for Creative Mission:

“Fresh expressions always start with listening and being attentive to who God is putting on your heart.”

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Leaders cultivate fresh expressions of church by listening deeply to their communities.
• Adaptive leadership emerges when leaders prioritize curiosity about people over quick solutions.
• Experiments in ministry prompt learning rather than simply measuring success or failure.
• New missional creativity grows out of attentive relationships, not just innovative ideas.
• Leaders empower others by embracing humility and care before offering expertise or vision.

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What if the best leadership isn’t about having the answers, but about asking the questions that draw out wisdom, connection, and creativity from those around us? What if the most transformational moments in ministry happen not when we speak—but when we invite others to share, reflect, and dream with us?

In this episode, J.R. Briggs, author of The Art of Asking Better Questions discusses how asking great questions can open new possibilities for ministry leaders and lead to healthier, more effective leadership—for ourselves and our churches.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• JR Briggs describes how questions neurologically "hijack" our brains, engaging us much more deeply than simple information does.
• Questions foster both clarity and engagement, enabling deeper connection and creativity between people.
• JR Briggs identifies several cultural obstacles to asking questions, including conversational narcissism, a lack of curiosity, and the fear of awkwardness.
• Healthy questions play a crucial role in building connection and trust, especially in an age marked by loneliness.
• JR Briggs attributes his passion for asking questions to observing his father's genuine curiosity and care for others.
• The quality of your life depends on the quality of questions you ask yourself, God, and others.
• Deliberate practice, such as collecting good questions and “gaming” conversations, strengthens one’s ability to ask better questions.
• JR Briggs outlines four levels of questions: information, interaction, understanding, and transformation, each deepening relational impact.
• JR Briggs encourages leaders to move beyond transactional questions and pursue transformational conversations grounded in trust.
• Curiosity, wisdom, humility, and courage are essential virtues for asking effective questions.
• Markus Watson notes that leading with questions, rather than only answers, builds stronger relationships and trust as a pastor.
• Great leaders amplify others and cultivate deep curiosity, according to JR Briggs’s research and coaching experience.
• Questions create space for spiritual direction, hospitality, and genuine pastoral care within ministries.
• Slowing down and asking questions in tense moments, instead of having knee-jerk reactions, can lead to greater understanding and connection.
• Jesus used questions extensively—over 300 in the New Testament—to provoke thought, deepen engagement, and transform lives.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Kairos Partnerships
• Books mentioned:
  • The Art of Asking Better Questions, by J.R. Briggs
  • Canoeing the Mountains, by Tod Bolsinger
• Related episodes:
  • Episode 240: Leading with Wisdom from Above, with Uli Chi
  • Episode 270: Evangelism as Consolation, with Andrew Root
  • Episode 278: Preaching in Today’s Post-Christian World, with Mark Glanville

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Discover why leading in today’s church means listening deeply to people’s questions, griefs, and dreams—before ever stepping into the pulpit.

Tod Bolsinger and Markus Watson discuss this quote from Mark Glanville in Ep. 278, Preaching in Today's Post-Christian World:

"People are walking to church now, not with the Bible under their arm, but with complex and genuine questions, with hopes, with dreams, with griefs on their heart, sometimes with a complex relationship with the Bible itself.”

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

1. Church leaders face the complexity of guiding people who bring diverse backgrounds, questions, hopes, dreams, and griefs.
2. Pastoral leaders prioritize listening to the congregation before offering teaching or guidance.
3. Leaders shape sermons and leadership approaches by engaging deeply with people’s real-life experiences and struggles.
4. Adaptive leadership requires creating community among people who differ in their spiritual journeys and relationships with scripture.
5. Effective preaching and leadership begin with meaningful relationships and conversations, not just expertise or information delivery.

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As ministry leaders, we often imagine that building trust is the ultimate goal—once we have it, the road to transformation should be clear. But what happens when trust alone isn’t enough? The truth is, trust is only the starting point. Moving beyond it requires us to invest our trust in ways that actually make change possible, even when it means taking risks and facing loss together.

In this episode, Tod Bolsinger, author of Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, shares why trust is essential but insufficient for transformative leadership, how we can begin to discern our congregation’s unique calling, and what it takes to wisely invest trust as we guide people through the challenges of adaptive change.

THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Tod Bolsinger asserts that there is no transformation without trust.
• Leadership requires energizing a community toward its own transformation for the sake of a shared mission.
• People will not trust a leader to guide them through difficult change if they don’t trust them with current, familiar responsibilities.
• Leaders build trust through both trustworthy character and technical competence.
• Relational congruence means consistently showing up as the same person in all relationships, reinforcing trust.
• Even leaders of good character need to be experienced by others as trustworthy in daily interactions.
• Technical competence in areas such as scripture, soul care, and organizational skills is non-negotiable for pastoral leaders.
• Trust is the bank account that leaders must invest (and spend) when leading adaptive or transformational change.
• When transformation is pursued, trust levels may decrease as change creates uncertainty and resistance.
• Tod Bolsinger notes that maintaining trust means not squandering it on trivial matters, but instead strategically investing it in real transformation.
• The process of transformation begins with clarifying a congregation’s unique charism—its distinctive gift to the broader community.
• Charism emerges from actual values and stories, not from aspirational wish lists or debates about what a church “should” be.
• Discerning a congregation’s charism requires telling stories about the times they were most proud of the church.
• Identifying a congregation’s charism is followed by asking how it can address the pain points of the community, thus connecting internal giftedness with external needs.
• Transformation always involves loss, and truly adaptive change means some may leave, but new vibrancy and alignment with mission can develop as a result.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Church Leadership Institute
• Books mentioned:
  • Invest in Transformation: Quit Relying on Trust, by Tod Bolsinger
• Related episodes:
  • 230. The Power of an 8-word Mission Statement, with Tod Bolsinger
  • 264. Building a Future-Focused Church, with Kara Powell, Jake Mulder, and Raymond Chang
  • 272. Beyond Church Revitalization, with Josh Hayden

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