If I say the god I believe in doesn’t carry a brief case

And the devil is in need of a shave

If I dare to ask the question

Will you stop me and tell me to behave

If I question every answer

If I fold beneath the sheets

If my soul is eaten with cancer

Will you still believe

I take up arms so defensive

I take up position so wide

I act not to be offensive

I act until I die

My god needs no worship

No slavery in sight

No servants at the door

No widows plight

I take up arrows of good fortune

And plunder what is left

Of your sanctions comes my thunder

Of you love I am bereft

Stolen from me before birth

I reach out and yearn

Taken from what I’m worth

But in you I never learn

Take up arms of good sorrow

Spears turn into earthly tools

In your yoke I will borrow

The wisdom of wisdom fools

I look now for life’s long lesson

And find it lacking in plain view

I beg forgiveness for my transgression

I wish your judgement were not true

I wish now for an answer

A way to make it all worthwhile

Take god away this cancer

And put back my childish smile

Finding meaning without reason

Finding reason where meaning once stood

No changing within the season

No words that come out good

I ask now for the guidance

To find a way through it all

I ask now not for your silence

I ask now not to let us fall

This thing we’re creating, it’s not natural but it comes from it. At least we used to be. Now we are part robot. And we don’t mind it.

In fact

We love it.

We get withdrawals if we are moments away from it.

This thing we’re building. It is not natural. It will suck the life out of everything and keep going.

I would tell you to watch, but you won’t miss a second. You’ll click replay.

Because that’s what you like. And they know it. They knew it before you did, and that is the scary thing.

At least it should be.

But you don’t seem bothered.

You never really do. As long as you can get your rocks off. And play your role. It’s panto. And your happy.

And so am i.

If I don’t engage, I am shunted. If I do, I am de-framed.

So, I do. But I don’t. but I so do at times. We all do. There is no point denying it, when we don’t, for the longest while, we find contemplation. And things growing we never noticed before. And then we reach out for it, its all over again.

They paint algorithms with our lives so that we live on eternal.

And we wonder why mother has left the building.

She might not be going for a pack of cigarettes this time. And we know we are right. But we are easily distracted and hypnotised by machines.

I am robot.

Photo by Alex Knight:

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people say they are going to go dark and they don’t mean it

they say they are disconnecting, going off-grid but it is all just utter bullshit

and I am no different

I mean clearly look at me typing into a computer to write a post on my website to share on social media in the vain hope that someone might be in some way touched by it

Narcissist that I am

But I would love to be a painter

A sculptor

For then I would not touch high definition

As I would be touching on life

So, I would like to go off-grid

Buy some woodland

Live off the land

And be a good neighbour and caretaker to all the beings that live within it

Grow my own food

But only some of this will happen and not in the rose-tinted way I would like them to

And some things won’t happen at all

And I will have to be okay with that

Because one day we all go

You will go, I will go, everyone will go from this world into another

And we are so tied to this one that that process can be painful

And can break our heart

So let it

It’s meant to

Don’t be fooled by the Hollywood bullshit endings

There are no great speeches

There are no grand finales

And certainly, no encore for the likes of you and me

Not this time

so, living off the land sounds nice

and we should all give it a go

or at least die trying

but in harmony with it, not the other way

a million fucked up consciousness club together to buy a second-hand car

and then drove it through your mall

and the worst thing is you saw it coming, all along, and you were too paralyzed with fear about your own incompetence that it came true

well, that’s the way it goes junior

but remember what the film said

“c”

And then the line died,` and with it the party

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Photo by James Frid:

Written and read by Sam I am from SleeplessDystopian.com