Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty continue their discussion about trauma. How can recovering addicts find the healing that they need when trauma is still unknown? How can you gather the right team to support you in your recovery work? How can you find peace following big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma? They answer these questions and consider the gift of working on yourself and the power of standing on your own two feet and finding your voice as you navigate your recovery journey.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:27] How can I find the right therapist to help with my trauma work?

[5:25] The importance of gathering the right team to support you in recovery work.

[7:20] Seeking Integrity resources that are available when finances are limited.

[9:28] Differences between big ‘T’ and little ‘t’ trauma.

[12:35] Facing the haunting vision that triggers you.

[19:10] How can I come to peace following such major violations?

[24:02] Approaching brokenness and filling the void that once came with betrayal.

[26:06] The focus of the Seeking Integrity women’s intensives is not on the spouse.

[28:17] Are you ready to accept the consequences of doing whatever you want?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Interview your therapist and find out what experience they have in trauma.”
• “The beginning of trauma work is awareness.”
• “I want you to discover the power of standing on your own two feet and finding your own voice.”
• “For every piece of work you can do on yourself, you are offering a gift to someone else.”

Dr. Rob and Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty explore trauma – what exactly is it, how does it come about, and what can you do about it? They consider the wounded healer, the importance of integrating all lived experiences to become whole again, and the role of self-forgiveness in overcoming trauma. Johanna is passionate about helping individuals heal from incident trauma, ancestral trauma, prolonged trauma, and more, and she cautions listeners against marginalizing the damaging effects of true trauma in favor of everyday difficult life experiences.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:21] A little bit about Dr. O’Flaherty and her passion for trauma recovery.

[3:54] Dr. O’Flaherty is celebrating 47 years of personal recovery.

[5:40] The archetype of the wounded healer.

[7:31] Integrating all of our experiences is an essential part of becoming whole.

[9:18] Trauma happens outside an individual’s coping skills.

[11:20] Trauma will not leave you alone until you do trauma work.

[12:31] Self forgiveness is an essential first step to overcoming reenacting.

[16:44] Ancestral trauma can impact you and the next generation.

[20:42] My husband has been cheating on me. Why does ancestral trauma matter?

[22:50] Incident trauma happens when an event changes a person’s entire life.

[25:45] The impact of combat trauma and prolonged trauma.

[28:02] The concept of trauma has been overutilized. What can you do to heal?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Johanna O’Flaherty

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “We’re all wounded in some form or another.”
• “We have to take back those wounded parts of us that we want to banish out of our minds.”
• “A traumatic event is so extraordinary that it is outside the individual’s coping abilities.”
• “Trauma will not leave you alone. It continues to raise it’s ugly head.”
• “We go into the vortex of the pain to take the power out of the memory.”
• “That which is not transformed is transmitted to the next generation.”

Dr. Rob and Tamara Cooper continue their discussion about codependency, boundaries, and the communal value of sharing your experience with others who have found themselves in similar situations. Tamara highlights the Empowered Women Retreat, a place for betrayed partners to heal in a safe and supportive space, as well as affordable options for healing for those who don’t have the resources for therapy.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:13] How does codependency fit into addiction and trauma betrayal?

[4:15] Addiction is a disease that affects the whole family.

[7:01] The model at Seeking Integrity is entirely supportive and judgement free.

[9:37] Setting boundaries is an essential step toward help and healing.

[11:48] Details about the Empowered Women Retreat.

[15:15] The communal power of sharing your experience with others.

[21:17] Where to turn when your spouse can’t be your go-to person anymore.

[27:25] Offering love to your addict can give them hope in themselves.

[29:05] Options for healing when you don’t have the resources for therapy.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Tamara Cooper

QUOTES:

• “Addiction is a team sport. You don’t just run the race, you drag the whole bench out with you.”
• “If you haven’t walked a mile in the addiction shoe, I wouldn’t suggest you don’t talk about how the shoe fits.”
• “When we set boundaries, that is the ask for help.”
• “As addicts, they don’t feel worthy of love, and they can’t understand why anyone, especially the person they hurt so much, would still have love for them. And that gives them hope for themselves.”