Somehow, SaysWhovia, we are still in the first month of this thing. Everything happens so much all the time now.

But hark!

Does Dan here clown goings-on in New York City? He does. Which means that it’s time to talk to Maureen about her home, the Greatest City In The World, the one with the clown crime mayor, the magic rocks, the rats, the endless construction, and the newest invention—the trash can. Because if Dan can’t clown on New York, then what CAN he do?

Chicago has news too. Chicago has better news, Dan wants Maureen to know.

Meanwhile…everything. But, this is about coping! Let’s get together and get a big green tower! Join us! Come in from the cold!

Hold hands and stay together at all times, SaysWhovia. There be dragons.

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Have you ever made a list, SaysWhovia? Stuff you need from the store. Ingredients for dinner. Things you need to do. Things to pack. Ways to undo all American institutions by basically letting a bunch of fascist raccoons into the attic? Well, Dan has made a list of all the things that happened this week. No. He made a list of SOME of them, because no one has the whole list. And he has decided to read this list to Maureen. Only he knows why. IT IS A VERY BAD LIST.

On the plus side—bingo! And a visit from a shoe. And apparently Dan was wiretapped once?

Let’s take Dan’s phone away, SaysWhovia. Just for a little while.

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OK, so yeah, things could be better.

Elon's little fash dipshits are running around, and it sure does seem like America is coming to an end, but Maureen has a new boyfriend!

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Apparently it’s been a week?

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Sayswhovians! Yes, Trump was inaugurated again this week. Yes, Elon Musk threw up a nazi salute. Yes, everything has gone to full shitshow very quickly. And yes, Maureen is sick.

But, she's hopped up on just enough of the good drugs to record an impromptu episode with Dan this afternoon after they had to cancel their regularly schedule one due to illness.

So, hello, it is a new era. It sucks. We are glad you are with us.

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There’s a lot going on, SaysWhovia. While Dan and Maureen will get into some of it (with appropriate content markers around one subject so you can listen safety!)—they spend a lot of time in the land of dissociation, where the main subjects are radio jingles, cigarettes, and weird birds. On this ground, we will build our city.

We got this, SaysWhovia. We’ll stick together. Don’t get frannick.

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Gather close, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have built a shelter. It’s made of blankets and pillows. Come in and hide with us. Oh, except Dan is back reading the news again. A lot of it is bad! But also, Rudy is in a lot of trouble, so that is nice. We can enjoy that. Also, let’s play “which former Trump flunkies are the most nervous right now?"

But also, let’s get serious about the compound. WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN A TRAIN STATION?

Choo choo!

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*party blower* Welcome to 2025, SaysWhovia! Let’s go into this together, the third Trump era, full of LOVE and TOGETHERNESS and BINGO.

Yes. It’s time to play bingo. And make space.

Get your cards ready. Let’s do this one together.

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