On Episode Nine, Matt continues being Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and targets the most famous New York M&M vendor. ⁠⁠Heather Edgley⁠⁠ joins us to get us thinking objectively!

Our Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

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Challenge: "From the perspective of an inanimate object"

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BUG'S SONG

Title: Sammy

Lyrics:

I am Sensitive, I know

I get riled up at the smallest things

and start screaming at the top of my lungs

I am working on it

but my job is very stressful

Holy shit is that a frozen pizza?

Time to cry my eyes out,

out of my mind with self-doubt

doubt you could live without me

me? I defend you proudly

cause I'm your last protector

Hi, my name is Sammy, I'm your over-sensitive smoke detector

Any locality may by ordinance require that smoke alarms

be installed in any building containing one or more dwelling units

in accordance with the uniform statewide building code

in other words: you need me

I know you're all frustrated by my beeping

but where there's smoke, there's fire

so where there might be smoke there MIGHT be fire

ok I'll work on it

but you've cooked that egg for 20 seconds!!!

Time to cry my eyes out, out of my mind with self-doubt

doubt you could live without me, me? I defend you proudly

I am your last protector

Hi, my name is Sammy, I'm your over-sensitive smoke detector

They say when God opens a door

he must also open a door on the other side of the room

just one door will not stop me from yelling

That's just how airflow works

that's just a little physics tip for you

inside a song inside a music podcast

but to calm me down... I just need... HER

Celia, Celia, Twirl for me love

no concealing how I'm feeling when I watch from above

Celia, Celia, this never gets old

they've learned to turn you on first before they look at the stove

Celia, Celia... the Ceiling Fan

Celia, Celia... the Ceiling Fan

(They're making bacon and I can't even fake a beep-beep because of you, Celia)

(It may be my low battery that's talking they ain't changing me 'till Autumn, Oh Celia)

(Learn good habits, change those batteries on daylight saving time, for realia)

(and while you're at it change your air filters too, basic home maintenance, celia)

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MATT'S SONG

Title: No Visitors

Lyrics:

no one visits me here but you i wish i could give you a little something in return under the silt, rocks and pillars of breezeblocks i was a queen once just like you in a temple on top of a hill on the rim of the woods and you want ask me something i can tell yeah i used to tell them stories in the vapour choking air and they kept me round because i told them what they want to hear now i call it like i see it so they took my crown away and i don't talk that much anymore these days cause no one visits me here but you no one visits me here but you tell me what do you see in me nobody's looked at me like you look at me for apollo knows how long i thought i needed fable and theatre for you trust me much at all but i guess a temple is wherever you go to find your god and you want to ask me something i can tell you don't need to keep your worries to yourself