Why Upgrade? Now that government funding has been snipped like a spaniel’s scrotum, many of us public radio vets will continue to provide unfiltered insight, irony, and the kind of “why” reporting that refuses to kiss power’s ring. Corporate coffers can’t buy integrity, but your subscription can.

You ever wake up, stretch, and realize the nation’s steering wheel is now in the hands of a man I’ll politely call His Imperial Kumquat — only to discover he’s steering with his elbows while juggling nuclear policy with the enthusiasm of a drunk circus clown? You have? Good. Then you’re already ahead of the curve.

Because Washington DC — Our Leadership, the Dowager Empress of the Ballroom — has once again graced you with a spectacle so grand, so operatic, so deeply stupid, it makes the Roman Senate look like a Montessori school. We’re now living in a country where “nuclear testing” is tossed around with the same seriousness as a TikTok dance challenge, except this time the challenge is not to see who can get more likes but who can vaporize fewer cities.

And the punchline? We’re told not to worry — because apparently nobody actually asked for nuclear explosions. No, no. His Imperial Kumquat simply suggested we should test things “on an equal basis” with Russia and China. Like it’s a bake-off. Like he wants to make sure our mushroom clouds rise at the same elegant angle as theirs.

Meanwhile Russia’s out there test-driving nuclear-powered doomsday toys — a cruise missile that apparently runs on Chernobyl fumes and whatever dignity the Kremlin has left, and a torpedo that sounds like something a Bond villain ordered off Etsy. And China? They haven’t popped one since the last time fax machines were still considered cutting-edge. But that hasn’t stopped Washington DC from panting like a bulldog left in the sun too long, insisting we need to “keep up.”

Of course, those boring, sober people known as “scientists” — you know, the ones who prefer math over swagger — keep reminding us that actual nuclear explosive testing is obsolete. Not just unnecessary, but the policy equivalent of duct-taping a lit match to a can of hairspray and calling it “innovation.”

But the bureaucratic pyromaniacs in Washington DC have already burned through treaties like they were old parking tickets.

The Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty? Torn up.The Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty? Dumpstered.Non-Proliferation obligations? Misplaced somewhere under the national couch.

And just when you thought the grown-ups might reclaim the room, we get a “first use” doctrine floated like an idea on a bar napkin.

The Dowager Empress of the Ballroom doesn’t just move the goalposts — she burns them down, salts the earth, and then quietly leases the land to a defense contractor.

And all the while, quietly in the background, the United States bombs Iranian facilities like it’s ordering a side of fries. Israel — a country that allegedly, officially, absolutely does not have nuclear weapons (wink), is right there helping out, while Washington DC does a little two-step pretending not to notice the nuclear arsenal behind the curtain.

Into this circus wanders a man who has spent his life studying nuclear policy like a fire marshal studying a rave thrown inside a fireworks warehouse. He’s the executive director of the Los Alamos Study Group. He’s taught science, commanded hazardous materials incidents, led environmental crackdowns, lectured at Princeton, and probably forgotten more about radioactive stupidity than Washington DC has ever known.

He’s watched Washington set its own eyebrows on fire so many times that at this point he’s just checking to see if they’ll finally commit to roasting the whole head.

You know him.You’ve probably read him.Today, we rely on him.

Greg Mello.

Why Upgrade? Now that government funding has been yanked, many of us public radio vets will continue to provide unfiltered insight, irony, and the kind of “why” reporting that refuses to kiss power’s ring. Corporate coffers can’t buy integrity, but your subscription can.

Why Upgrade? Now that government funding has been snipped like a spaniel’s scrotum, many of us public radio vets will continue to provide unfiltered insight, irony, and the kind of “why” reporting that refuses to kiss power’s ring. Corporate coffers can’t buy integrity, but your subscription can.

If Hollywood and Washington DC had a love child during a blackout, it’d still be less chaotic and more predictable than Karel Bouley. This is a man who started life wanting to be Streisand, got slapped with a tuba instead, and decided, “Fine, I’ll just conquer every medium known to man.” And he did — drag bars, dance floors, newsrooms, red carpets, radio booths — leaving a trail of stunned employers and confused bigots who still don’t understand what hit them.

While Our Leadership was busy setting new records for national embarrassment, Karel was out there actually accomplishing things: singing with legends, photographing icons, rewriting California law after his partner died because the state couldn’t fathom gay people having rights, and becoming half of the first out gay couple to dominate major-market drive-time radio — right after Dr. Laura, which is comedy gold all by itself.

He’s survived more station shakeups, culture wars, management coups, and American mood swings than any one man should endure, and he did it all while writing, performing, recording, producing, podcasting, and outliving every political attempt to shove queer people back into the broom closet. At 62 he’s still working, still ranting, still creating, still vegan, and still loud enough to give Washington DC heartburn.

If you’re wondering what a lifetime of refusing to shut up looks like, here he is. Karel didn’t become Streisand — he became the nightmare straight America accidentally built.

- Karel,With the safety of drag performers, trans youth, and queer teachers now openly debated like they’re zoning ordinances, what would you tell someone thinking of relocating abroad just to breathe?

- Karel,You’ve lived through police raids, AIDS hysteria, and culture wars — does today feel like a rerun, or something more coordinated and national in scale?

- Karel,And finally, is the American queer future still rooted in hope and progress… or do you think rhetoric becomes the latest political party trick? So, how do we keep the LGBTQ family from being carved into “acceptable” and “expendable” pieces?

Why Upgrade? Now that government funding has been yanked, many of us public radio vets will continue to provide unfiltered insight, irony, and the kind of “why” reporting that refuses to kiss power’s ring. Corporate coffers can’t buy integrity, but your subscription can.