As long as a walking stick. A billiards cue. Thin as a nub of wax at the base, thick as a man’s fist at the tip.

These are just some of the eye-watering descriptions of what King Ferdinand VII – Spain’s worst ever king – was allegedly hiding beneath his britches...

This week, H&S are lifting the sheets of the royal bedroom to meet a king who wrecked an empire, traumatised his young brides, and left the Spanish court buzzing with scandal – all because of his deeply unfortunate anatomical affliction.

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With great esoteric power, comes great esoteric responsibility.

Aleister Crowley was considered many things, a poet, an artist, a master of the dark arts, and a prophet of Thelma. But who was the man behind the mask? And how did he go from being a leading figure and social commentator to dying in relative obscurity?

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Bodies unearthed in the desert seemed like the final piece in the puzzle for McStay Family Murders. However, the four years that had passed left more questions than answers, and a whole lot of people with a whole lot in their pockets.

Despite all the mystery, Chase Merrit found himself firmly on the stand. Rightly or wrongly? Listen to find out.

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In October 1993, River Phoenix crashed out of Johnny Depp’s exclusive club, fell onto the pavement, and died. An hour earlier, the 23-year-old rising star had snorted a lethal combination of cocaine and heroin known as a ‘speedball’ in the toilets. As he staggered around the club, no one offered Phoenix anything more than a valium to "take the edge off”.

How did Johnny Depp’s club become such a den of iniquity and excess? And more importantly, how did it survive after the death of Hollywood’s golden boy?

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The year was 1917, and revolution was in the air in Russia. After sustaining heavy losses in WW1, the fall of the House of Romanov seemed inevitable. And one night the Tsar, his wife, and their five children, were shot, stabbed, burned with acid, set on fire, blown up with grenades and buried deep in Koptyaki forest.

But then, rumours began to circulate that there had been survivors of the massacre… And over the years, numerous women came forward claiming to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia. What follows is a story of “delusion, fabrication, sham, romance, burlesque, travesty and humbug”. Press play to solve the mystery.

Listen to our episode on Rasputin here

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How does a family completely vanish? That was the question that plagued investigators after Michael McStay reported his brother Joe McStay missing on the 15th of February 2010, along with Joe’s wife Summer, and their two children, Joe Jr and Gianni.

It took four years to discover the fate of the McStay family: a fate that cast a lens across their entire lives. Everyone from Joe’s business associates Chase Merrit and Dan Kavanaugh, to Joe’s own brother Michael, had something to gain from the family’s disappearance – but who had the mentality to kill them for it?

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Turning lead into gold and living forever: that’s about the summation of our modern understanding of Alchemy. Informed by high-fantasy films and pop history, it now brings to mind dark, arcane ceremonies in castle ruins, playing God in the pursuit of limitless riches and immortality.

However, the reality is that Alchemy spanned thousands of years and countless cultures. It was the precursor to modern science, and undoubtedly changed humanity’s understanding of the world around us. This is the ShortHand.

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Alien autopsies, flying saucers, and top secret government programs: three things alleged to be hiding in ‘Area 51’. Officially known as Homey Airport or Groom Lake, this secret government testing facility in Nevada has been the epicentre of UFO folklore for over a century – yet the CIA only admitted its existence in 2013.

So what’s really going on behind those big metal gates? Listen to this week’s ShortHanded to find out!

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