Episodes

  • Why Business Leaders Need Negotiation Skills

    Why Business Leaders Need Negotiation Skills
    Aug 23 2026
    First aired August 23, 2026 Annette Mullin spent 24 years with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, nine of them as a crisis negotiator, eventually leading one of the busiest negotiation teams in the country â€" averaging over 100 call-outs a year. She worked patrol, sexual assault, internal affairs, and homicide, becoming LVMPD's first female homicide sergeant, before spending her final years as the department's director of employee wellness in the aftermath of the October 1 Mandalay Bay shooting, the largest mass shooting in U.S. history. Now a negotiation instructor and coach at the Black Swan Group, founded by former FBI lead hostage negotiator Chris Voss, Annette translates those high-stakes lessons into practical tools for leaders, teams, and individuals navigating pressure, conflict, and growth. We talk about the universal need she discovered in every person she ever negotiated with, why the crime itself is almost always a secondary issue, what "tactical empathy" actually looks like in practice, and why most of us were never actually taught how to listen. Watch this episode Youtube episode link here In this episode How the O.J. Simpson case and a criminalistics program in LA sparked Annette's path into crime scene investigation, and why she chose Las Vegas over LAPDJoining LVMPD's crisis negotiation team, and what made Las Vegas's team one of the busiest in the countryBecoming LVMPD's first female homicide sergeant, and the advice that helped her navigate a male-dominated field without making it about genderWhy removing assumptions, and getting curious instead of judgmental, changed how she worked with people in crisisThe universal need Annette discovered every person in crisis shares, no matter how different the circumstancesWhy the crime itself is almost always a secondary issue, and what's usually driving it underneathHow Chris Voss's "tactical empathy" model, from Never Split the Difference, turns negotiation into collaboration instead of a tug-of-warThe five levels of listening Black Swan teaches, and why most of us are trained to listen to respond instead of to understand Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet retired LVMPD crisis negotiator Annette Mullin(02:23) From the East Coast to Las Vegas: the O.J. Simpson case and her path into crime scene investigation(04:42) Joining the crisis negotiation team, and Las Vegas's brutal call-out numbers(06:36) Retiring after serving as director of employee wellness following the October 1 Mandalay Bay shooting(08:15) What drew her to law enforcement as a kid, from Nancy Drew to Quincy, M.E.(10:10) Navigating gender in a male-dominated field, and becoming LVMPD's first female homicide sergeant(14:00) Removing assumptions: why curiosity beats judgment when someone has "a chip on their shoulder"(16:52) The universal need every person in crisis shares, and why that surprised her most(20:05) Why the crime is almost always the secondary issue(24:28) From hostage negotiation to the boardroom: Chris Voss, Black Swan Group, and tactical empathy(28:43) The biggest obstacle to listening, and the five levels of listening Black Swan teaches(31:50) The number one struggle business leaders bring to her, and why practicing in "low stakes" moments matters(34:12) Where to find Annette, Black Swan Group, and the new book Fight Less, Win More About Annette Mullin Annette Mullin is a retired Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department leader with 24 years of law enforcement experience, including nine years as a crisis negotiator and eventual leader of LVMPD's crisis negotiation team, one of the busiest in the country. Over her career she worked patrol, community policing, sexual assault, internal affairs, and homicide, becoming LVMPD's first female homicide sergeant, before serving as the department's director of employee wellness in the aftermath of the October 1 Mandalay Bay shooting. Now a negotiation instructor and coach at the Black Swan Group, founded by former FBI lead hostage negotiator Chris Voss, Annette teaches the principles behind Never Split the Difference, including tactical empathy, to leaders, teams, and individuals navigating pressure and conflict in business and life. Learn more at the Black Swan Group, or connect with Annette on LinkedIn. Favorite quotes "There is a universal need for every person to be heard, to be seen, and to be understood." "Not everybody is like you. Removing assumptions was really key, let them show you or tell you." "If I read a book about working out every week but never lift a weight, I can't expect to see anything different." Resources mentioned Black Swan Group: negotiation training founded by former FBI lead hostage negotiator Chris VossNever Split the Difference by Chris Voss: the book that brings hostage-negotiation principles like tactical empathy into business and everyday lifeFight Less, Win More: Chris Voss's newest book, adapting those same skills for personal relationshipsAnnette ...
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    37 mins
  • Why Comedy Might Be the Best Medicine For Mental Health

    Why Comedy Might Be the Best Medicine For Mental Health
    Aug 16 2026
    First aired August 16, 2026 For over a decade, Dave Mowry couldn't get out of bed, couldn't shower, and couldn't walk to his own mailbox without waiting until dark so a neighbor wouldn't catch the look in his eyes. In 1994, a psychotic break sent the successful businessman and family man into a depression so deep it cost him his house, his career, and 14 years he calls his "lost years." He slept in his clothes for months at a time. At parties, he'd stand against the wall and pray no one came over to talk to him. Then, at his wife's urging, he walked into a stand-up comedy class for people living with mental illness, and by the second session, something shifted: he started looking for the joke inside the pain. Dave is now a bestselling author, a blogger with over a million reads, a peer support specialist, and, in his own words, "a comic who shatters stigma one joke at a time." We get into what clinical depression actually feels like from the inside, why his wife is the true hero of his story, how a ten-week comedy class became group therapy in disguise, the gentle suicide joke that helped save a young man's life, and why people in the mental health field need to stop trying to "protect" the very people they're meant to be supporting. Watch this episode In this episode Why a 1994 psychotic break sent a successful businessman into 14 "lost years" of homelessness and depressionWhat clinical depression actually feels like: the showers he couldn't take, the mailbox trips timed for after dark, and the panic attacks that came out of nowhereWhy "just do something small," like sitting in a different chair, was enough to keep Dave from getting stuck in hopelessnessWhat family members need to understand about mental illness, and how Dave's wife became "the hero of his story"How a NAMI stand-up comedy class turned Dave's pain into laugh-out-loud jokes, and eventually a sold-out show at Helium Comedy ClubDave's gentle suicide joke, why it works, and the night it helped save a young man's lifeWhy people in the helping professions need to stop trying to "save" people with mental illness and start supporting them instead Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet comic and mental health advocate Dave Mowry(01:16) The 1994 psychotic break, and the 14 "lost years" that followed(03:56) What clinical depression actually feels like: showers, blending into the wall, panic attacks(07:10) The exhausting weight of "just getting out of bed"(08:41) Don't get stuck: the small, deliberate choices that kept hope alive(10:15) What family members need to understand: it's not a moral failing(11:26) Dave's wife, the true hero of his story(14:34) Finding NAMI's stand-up comedy class, and the moment humor clicked(17:59) Selling out Helium Comedy Club, and becoming "a thing"(19:51) Blogging, "OMG, that's me," and shattering stigma one joke at a time(25:32) Teaching comedy: the setup, the punchline, and getting students to open up(26:10) Dave's gentle suicide joke, and the night it helped save a life(32:42) Boundaries, mania, and giving himself permission to say no(37:25) Where to find Dave, his books, and how to reach him About Dave Mowry Dave Mowry is a bestselling author, blogger, and stand-up comic who shatters stigma one joke at a time. After a 1994 psychotic break led to 14 "lost years" of severe depression, homelessness, and hospitalization, Dave found his way back through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and a stand-up comedy class for people living with mental illness. He went on to sell out Portland's Helium Comedy Club, teach comedy classes to people living with mental illness, and become a peer support specialist. He's the author of OMG, That's Me! and Healing with Humor, and his blog for bphope.com has been read over a million times. Learn more and get in touch at Dave's website, or reach him directly at davemowry2@gmail.com. Favorite quotes "It's not a moral failing. It's a medical condition." —Dave Mowry "Afterwards, I called my wife for help. She said, 'There are more pills under the sink.'" —Dave Mowry, on the gentle suicide joke that's helped save lives "We don't need to be saved. Support us and all that, but don't try to save us. We don't need it." —Dave Mowry Resources mentioned Dave's website: home to his books and a contact formOMG, That's Me!: Dave's bestselling book on what it's really like to live with a mental illness, available on Amazon and KindleHealing with Humor: Dave's newest book, telling the story of six comedy-class students and their transformationNAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): the organization that connected Dave to the comedy class that changed his lifeHelium Comedy Club (Portland): where Dave's class sold out a 185-seat show Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with,
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    41 mins
  • Why Imposter Syndrome Keeps Leaders Stuck

    Why Imposter Syndrome Keeps Leaders Stuck
    Aug 9 2026

    In this episode, Dana is joined by Kurt Bush, a trauma-informed coach who helps leaders move from imposter syndrome to authentic confidence. Kurt shares his own journey with imposter syndrome, from feeling like a fraud in corporate leadership meetings to realizing his true calling. He explains that to make a change, the pain of staying the same must become greater than the pain of changing, a threshold many of us fear crossing. Kurt introduces the ERT (Encounter + Reflection = Transformation) framework, a practical approach to help you get unstuck. He reveals why the first step to moving forward is often learning to "start stopping" the things that drain your energy, allowing you to create a life that is truly aligned with who you are.

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    35 mins
  • Your Midlife 'Crisis' Might Be Burnout (with Jody Brooks)

    Your Midlife 'Crisis' Might Be Burnout (with Jody Brooks)
    Jul 26 2026
    A midlife crisis isn't actually a crisis. That's the challenge Jody Brooks puts to anyone who's ever felt lost, restless, or quietly convinced something's wrong with them somewhere around 40 or 50: what looks like burnout, and what people love to write off as a freakout, is more often a calling. His own arrived at lunchtime at the office, buzzing canteen and all, when he found himself sitting in a restroom cubicle, crying so hard he could barely breathe. No brutal meeting that morning. No disaster. Just the quiet moment his body picked to file its formal complaint: burnout wasn't a "rough patch" anymore, it was a full-body shutdown. I've been a therapist for 18 years, and I can tell you: high performers do this. We white-knuckle through "one more day" (and one more, and one more) until the body stops asking politely. Sound familiar? Jody is a UK-based midlife and burnout coach who once survived 52 flights in eight months of what he calls "jazz hands" performing, and his calling-not-crisis framework is asking you to come home to yourself. We get into how to spot the full-body warning signs before you hit your own cubicle moment, how to settle anxiety in the moment it spikes (not three weeks and one forced sabbatical later), and Jody's wonderfully backwards first step for anyone feeling stuck: don't start something new. Start stopping. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfi9lec7n2o In this episode Why burnout can feel like "just a bad day" until it suddenly isn't, and how to recognize the full-body warning signs before you hit the wallWhy a midlife crisis isn't really a crisis at all: it's a calling to reconnect with who you actually areThe anxiety-regulation technique Jody uses with coaching clients to come back from a stress spiral in real timeWhy you can't be "out of alignment" until you know what alignment actually means, and how to find your starting pointThe "start stopping" exercise for anyone who wants change but doesn't know where to beginHow understanding your core values turns boundaries from something scary into something guilt-free Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet midlife and burnout coach Jody Brooks(01:47) The restroom-cubicle "pile of ash" moment: burnout as a full-body shutdown(04:34) The three-hour drive home, and the decision to stop(06:43) Fear, anxiety, and the "one small thing" that finally breaks us(10:10) Jody's technique for regulating anxiety and stress in the moment(13:59) What alignment really means (and the bus analogy)(19:39) Why younger generations and midlifers experience burnout differently(24:37) The blank-page moment: reclaiming your story through empowerment(25:43) "Start stopping": Jody's first step for anyone feeling stuck(29:21) Boundaries, core values, and why saying no is an act of service(33:17) Where to find Jody and his free resources About Jody Brooks Jody Brooks is a UK-based midlife and burnout coach and the founder of Authentic Coaching. After burning out during a high-pressure international career in education (one stretch included 52 flights in eight months) he developed the nine principles of authentic living, a practical framework that helps people turn crisis into connection and sustainable well-being. Learn more and join his free community at Jody's website, or connect with him on LinkedIn. Favorite quotes "I actually can't go back." —Jody Brooks, on the moment burnout finally broke through "Start stopping. Stopping what no longer serves you." —Jody Brooks "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." —Jody Brooks Resources mentioned AuthenticCoaching.me: Jody's website and free community, home to the "Start Stopping" exercise and the anxiety-regulation technique he mentions on the showJody's nine principles of authentic living (his coaching framework, discussed throughout the episode)Jody Brooks on LinkedIn Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own boundaries stand? Take my free Work Boundaries Quiz: danaskaggs.com/quiz
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    37 mins
  • How You Can Find Hope After Rock Bottom (Aaron Ryan)

    How You Can Find Hope After Rock Bottom (Aaron Ryan)
    Jul 19 2026
    Two in the morning. Sitting on the toilet, clothed, bawling into a pillow, because a broken PC was the last thing standing between him and the self-employed life he wanted so badly he could feel it in his teeth. That's where my guest this week hit rock bottom: not one dramatic collapse, but months of computer problems piling on top of a dream that felt like it was never going to happen. A client shared one quote with him that day, and Aaron Ryan has carried it in his back pocket for almost twenty years since: "The temptation to quit is always greatest just before your greatest success." Aaron is an award-winning, bestselling author of the six-book Dissonance alien invasion saga (one installment is being pitched to streaming networks right now), plus dozens of other titles across sci-fi, historical fiction, and children's books, and he's also a working voice actor. We talk about the "Illuminati" he ran into at the top of the voiceover industry, the sting of writing 300 blog posts meant to encourage people only to be told they were "nothing," and why he walked away from that world entirely to go back to his first love: storytelling. Aaron also shares his best advice for anyone starting out as a writer (be authentic, steer clear of generative AI, and grow thick skin fast), and the 9/11 historical novel he wrote as an act of catharsis, imagining a world where the attacks never happened. If you've ever felt like an imposter next to people who seem to have it all figured out, or you're right on the edge of giving up on something you can feel in your teeth, this conversation is the reminder that the breakdown right before the breakthrough is often just... the process. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHeG1Oqaspc In this episode The quote Aaron has carried for almost 20 years, and the two memory sticks that changed his entire careerWhy running into "the Illuminati" of the voiceover industry, and being told his encouragement blogs were "nothing," turned out to be his breakthrough in disguiseAaron's advice for anyone who wants to write a book: be authentic, avoid generative AI, and grow thick skin fastWhy holding a finished book in your hands matters more than whether anyone buys itHow Aaron turned personal catharsis into fiction, including a 9/11 historical novel where the attacks never happenWhat "breakdown to breakthrough, wash, rinse, repeat" really looks like over a creative career Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet award-winning author Aaron Ryan(01:38) The Dissonance saga, Hollywood pitches, and film festival wins(03:04) The young author's club at age 10, and being "fated" to write(04:39) Advice for new writers: be authentic, avoid AI, grow thick skin(07:38) Imposter syndrome, and the 7,500 books published on Amazon every day(09:57) "The Electric Boy": writing his first "book" at age seven(13:20) Why Aaron writes sci-fi, post-apocalyptic, and dystopian fiction(16:57) The "Illuminati" of the voiceover industry, and walking away from it(22:46) 2007: leaving full-time work, and the PC that wouldn't stop breaking(24:12) Bawling into a pillow at 2am, and the quote that changed everything(26:31) Breakdown to breakthrough, wash, rinse, repeat(28:31) Aaron's favorite books: The End Omega, and a 9/11 novel where the attacks never happen(35:00) Where to find Aaron and his books About Aaron Ryan Aaron Ryan is an award-winning and best-selling author, speaker, panelist, workshop presenter, and voice actor. He's the author of the six-book Dissonance alien invasion saga (currently being pitched to streaming networks), the Christian dystopian series The End, the 9/11 historical fiction novel Forecast, and dozens of other titles across sci-fi, historical fiction, and children's books. He lives in Washington with his wife, two sons, and a small menagerie of pets. Learn more at Aaron's website, or join his free community for screenplay updates, discount codes, giveaways, and appearances. Favorite quotes "The temptation to quit is always greatest just before your greatest success." —a line Aaron Ryan has carried in his back pocket for almost 20 years "If you can steer clear of AI, please do. Don't outsource your work to a chip." —Aaron Ryan "I must create or I'm gonna blow up, I'll explode." —Aaron Ryan Resources mentioned AuthorAaronRyan.com: Aaron's website, with links to all his books and social channelsAaron's free Facebook community: screenplay status updates, discount codes, giveaways, and appearancesDissonance, Aaron's six-book alien invasion sagaThe End Omega, the finale of Aaron's Christian dystopian seriesForecast, Aaron's 9/11 historical fiction novel Related episodes From Rock Bottom to Mountain Top: Interview with Kevin Palmieri: another guest's road from the bottom back up From Tragedy to Triumph: Rhonda Britten's Path to a Fearless Life: more on turning devastation into a fearless second actFrom the Edge of Suicide to the Grace of Grief: another raw ...
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    37 mins
  • How Your Body's Intuition Can Heal You (Rebecca Russell)

    How Your Body's Intuition Can Heal You (Rebecca Russell)
    Jul 12 2026
    Four years of chronic pain. A fibromyalgia diagnosis. Muscle relaxers, pain pills, migraines, MRI after MRI. And through all of it, my guest this week kept hearing the same quiet voice: something doesn't fit. Rebecca Russell listened to it anyway, tracked down a neurosurgeon, and asked for one test nobody else had run: a discogram. It found the bulging disc that had been the actual problem the whole time, and eighty-five percent of her symptoms disappeared after surgery. Rebecca is a metabolism and lifestyle coach, certified essential oil specialist, and author who's spent more than three decades turning her own health crises, a prediabetes warning in her thirties and years of unexplained chronic pain, into a holistic approach she now teaches other people. We talk about the difference between managing symptoms and finding root cause, how to bring up wanting to try something holistic without blowing up the relationship with a doctor you've trusted for decades, and the "black year" she spent as a stay-at-home mom feeling brain-dead and guilty for wanting more, before a community-college pamphlet turned into an unexpected ten-year path to becoming a published novelist. If you've ever been told your labs are "normal" while you know something is wrong, Rebecca's message is blunt and useful: do your homework, and don't let anyone, including a doctor you love, talk you out of your own intuition. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa0h2DJgFWg In this episode Why Rebecca trusted her own intuition over four years of doctors telling her to just manage the pain, and the one test that finally found the root causeHow a lifestyle overhaul helped Rebecca avoid a lifetime of medication after a prediabetes warning in her thirtiesThe self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-love formula Rebecca built to help people figure out what they actually needWhy she calls herself "the Queen of Homework," and how to research a health decision your doctor won't have time toHow essential oils helped Rebecca get off a nightly sleep medication, and how each oil ties to an emotional needHer "black year" as a stay-at-home mom, and the writing-class pamphlet that turned into a decade-long path to publication Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet metabolism and lifestyle coach Rebecca Russell(02:10) From Harlequin romance novelist to competitive athlete(04:52) The rec ice hockey high, and the fibromyalgia diagnosis that followed(07:08) Watching family members struggle on the traditional medical path(09:04) The American Diabetes Society's shift toward prevention and reversal(11:39) The discogram: the one test nobody else had run(13:34) The statin Rebecca refused, and the thyroid issue that was the real cause(16:05) How to bring up holistic options without losing your traditional doctor(19:50) Why Rebecca calls herself "the Queen of Homework"(20:23) Essential oils, sleep, and getting off a nightly medication(24:35) The "black year": stay-at-home motherhood, guilt, and losing her sense of self(28:22) The writing-class pamphlet that led to a published novel ten years later(35:15) Boundaries, self-acceptance, and letting other people's opinions go About Rebecca Russell Rebecca Russell is a metabolism and lifestyle coach, author, and certified essential oil specialist who believes resilience begins with how we care for our bodies. After being told she was likely headed toward type 2 diabetes, she chose a different path and has spent more than 30 years embracing a holistic lifestyle to change the trajectory of her health, including recovering from a four-year battle with chronic pain that led to a fibromyalgia diagnosis. Learn more at Rebecca's website, where you can request a free wellness consultation. Favorite quotes "Listen to your body. Listen to that intuition." —Rebecca Russell "Root cause is so important." —Rebecca Russell "You have to know yourself well enough to know what you need to be happy." —Rebecca Russell Resources mentioned RebeccaRussell.com: Rebecca's website and free wellness consultation offerRebecca's book, which includes companion journal pages for each chapter (available as a free download through Rebecca directly)The American Diabetes Society's preventative, low-carb approach to autoimmune conditions including diabetesUncover Your Light, a nonfiction anthology on stories of hope and resilience featuring a chapter by Rebecca Related episodes How to Trust Your Intuition After Trauma: more on learning to listen to your own body and instincts again How Your Survival Brain Is Sabotaging Your Happiness: the science behind why we override our own signals How to Reclaim Your Energy When You're Burned Out: pairs with Rebecca's root-cause approach to chronic health struggles Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube....
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    42 mins
  • Why Successful Entrepreneurs Set Boundaries (Chris Shurian)

    Why Successful Entrepreneurs Set Boundaries (Chris Shurian)
    Jun 28 2026
    My guest this week has a word for himself I'd never heard before: "entrepreholic." Over 39 years, Chris Shurian has built, operated, bought, broken, and resurrected companies in remodeling, construction, manufacturing, real estate development, foreign investment, hospitality, restaurants, and retail. He's also survived cancer and finished two Ironmans. And in 2008, when the economy crashed, he was so extended, so "all in, all in, all in," as he puts it, that he spent the next two years meeting with his banker once a week just to survive it. We talk about what it actually felt like to launch out on his own the first time (scary, but young enough that the stakes felt low), the mindset that got him through the 2008 collapse (he sold his boat and his Corvette for cash instead of losing them to the bank, because he'd paid cash for his toys in the first place), and why he now believes setting boundaries isn't a personal luxury for entrepreneurs, it's a core business strategy. Chris also shares the "work to live" question that reframed his whole career, and why four focused hours in his office can outperform someone else's fourteen. If you're building something and starting to feel like the business owns you instead of the other way around, Chris's story of setting his own hours from day one, and watching his business and his customers adapt to it, is worth the whole episode. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nsQRwz6r5I In this episode Why "life balance isn't a luxury, it's a core business strategy" for entrepreneursThe mindset shift that turned "scared" into "excited" for Chris during the 2008 financial collapseWhy paying cash for the boat, the Corvette, and the cabin saved Chris's family when the bank came callingHow setting one firm boundary (a standing day off, a closed office door) trains your business and your customers to respect itWhy entrepreneurs who "jump ship" too early into a new opportunity often sabotage the one that's already workingThe life balance wheel exercise Chris still uses with his coaching clients today Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet self-proclaimed "entrepreholic" Chris Shurian(01:58) The word "entrepreholic," and why it's different from "serial entrepreneur"(04:57) What launching out on his own for the first time actually felt like(06:54) The fence-building side hustle that turned into a contracting career(09:50) Bartering, visibility, and getting your work seen(13:11) Building a remodeling empire, and the year everything grew too fast(14:59) Neuroplasticity: reframing "scared" as "excited"(17:23) The 2008 crash: two years of weekly meetings with the banker(18:09) Why paying cash for the boat and the Corvette saved the family(20:08) Imposter syndrome as a coach, and the value of hard-won experience(24:30) Where Chris lost his own boundaries: jumping ship on the main business too early(28:20) "Do you live to work, or do you work to live?"(33:50) Where to find Chris and his coaching About Chris Shurian Chris Shurian is a self-proclaimed "entrepreholic" who has spent 39 years building, operating, breaking, and resurrecting companies in remodeling, construction, manufacturing, real estate development, foreign investment, hospitality, restaurants, and retail. In his own words: "I've won big, lost big, survived cancer, finished two Ironmans, and I still show up with the enthusiasm of a guy launching his very first venture." He now coaches business owners and entrepreneurs, drawing on decades of building, losing, and rebuilding. Learn more at Chris's website, or connect with him on LinkedIn. Favorite quotes "I've won big, lost big, survived cancer, finished two Ironmans, and I still show up with the enthusiasm of a guy launching his very first venture." —Chris Shurian "I am absolutely a work to live kind of guy." —Chris Shurian "I can get more done in four hours in my office than some people get done in two or three days." —Chris Shurian Resources mentioned BootstrapsAndBattleScars.com: Chris's platform, coaching, and podcastChris Shurian on LinkedInThe life balance wheel, an exercise Chris uses with coaching clients to spot where their life is out of balance Related episodes Setting Boundaries for Well-Being and Success: more on why boundaries drive success instead of limiting itEntrepreneurial Success: Habits of a Maverick: another entrepreneur's take on the habits that make the long game possible Vision and Heart: One Entrepreneur's Journey: another founder's road through building, losing, and rebuilding Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own ...
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    36 mins
  • Why Loneliness Hits the Young Hardest (Dr. Anthony Silard)

    Why Loneliness Hits the Young Hardest (Dr. Anthony Silard)
    Jun 21 2026
    Picture a hand-written sign taped to a bus stop in Japan: "I'm 87, I don't have a family. Would some family take me?" No one answered. He died a couple of months later. That story, from my guest this week, is the starkest snapshot I've ever heard of what loneliness researcher Dr. Anthony Silard calls a global epidemic, and the twist is who it's hitting hardest: not the oldest of us, but the youngest. Anthony is a professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology and an internationally recognized authority on relationships, emotional intelligence, and personal transformation, and he's the author of the new book Love and Suffering: Break the Emotional Chains that Prevent You from Experiencing Love. We get into the real difference between loneliness (which he calls the trash) and solitude (the treasure), his four-plateau model for moving toward love, and why parents need to be their kid's "emotion elevator" instead of handing over a screen every time a feeling gets hard. Anthony also makes the case, backed by his own research, for ditching "forgive and forget" for good: forgiveness is something you do for yourself, trust is something you decide about the relationship, and they are not the same choice. If you've ever wondered whether you're lonely or just alone, or you've been calling resentment "forgiveness" without realizing it, this conversation hands you the language for both. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkiYyQ_Nj-U In this episode Why today's loneliest generation isn't the oldest, it's the youngest, and what's driving itThe real difference between loneliness (trash) and solitude (treasure), and how to move toward the secondWhy "forgive and forget" is bad advice, and what to do instead: forgive and remember, lightlyThe difference between forgiveness (for you) and trust (for the relationship), and why you can have one without the otherWhat it means to be your child's "emotion elevator," and what happens when that job gets outsourced to a screenWhy comparing yourself to everyone else on your bus is quietly making loneliness worse Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and guest intro: meet Dr. Anthony Silard, author of Love and Suffering(01:49) Why Anthony studies loneliness: his own early experience with it(03:14) The exponential rise in loneliness since the first iPhone(06:15) The loneliness epidemic by the numbers: the Cigna study, the UK's minister for loneliness, and the 87-year-old's sign(09:34) Loneliness vs. solitude: trash and treasure(12:14) Why today's loneliest generation is the youngest, not the oldest(16:58) Being your child's "emotion elevator," and the conversational duet(23:01) The decline of empathy, and the truth about the "self-absorption" myth(27:30) Why "forgive and forget" is bad advice(28:27) Forgiveness vs. trust: two different decisions(31:14) Where to find Anthony and his free books About Dr. Anthony Silard Dr. Anthony Silard is a professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology and an internationally recognized authority in relationships, leadership, emotional intelligence, relational healing, and personal transformation. He earned his doctorate at IESE Business School in Barcelona and is one of the two most-published researchers on loneliness in organizations, alongside Sarah Wright in New Zealand. He's the author of Love and Suffering: Break the Emotional Chains that Prevent You from Experiencing Love (2025) and the previous book Screened In: The Art of Living Free in the Digital Age, and he coaches CEOs and senior leaders at companies including Toyota, Apple, Google, and Boeing. Learn more at Anthony's website, or grab his two free books, "The Myth of Happiness" and "The Myth of Friendship." Favorite quotes "Loneliness is a negative distressing emotion associated with being alone. Solitude is a positive strengthening emotion associated with being alone." —Dr. Anthony Silard "Resentment is what you feel while the other person's out dancing." —Dr. Anthony Silard "Trust is necessary for relationship development." —Dr. Anthony Silard Resources mentioned Love and Suffering: Break the Emotional Chains that Prevent You from Experiencing Love, Anthony's book on his four-plateau "love progression model"Screened In: The Art of Living Free in the Digital Age, Anthony's previous book on screens and relationshipsTwo free books: "The Myth of Happiness" and "The Myth of Friendship," available at TheArtOfLivingFree.orgThe Cigna loneliness study (2018 and 2020) cited on the rise in adult American loneliness Related episodes Beyond Forgive and Forget: The Real Secret to Letting Go: a deeper dive into exactly the forgiveness-vs-trust distinction Anthony draws in this episode Curiosity: The Bridge to Connection: more on what it actually takes to move from isolation to real connection Vulnerability, Authenticity, and Connection: An Interview with Coach Lee Hopkins: another conversation on what genuine connection requires Subscribe & connect If this episode...
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    34 mins