HOW can we forgive?

THE HARD TRUTH: WE CAN'T. NOT ON OUR OWN.

Many of us say "I'll forgive anything...but I won't forgive THAT." We draw lines in the sand. We say "this far, but no further." Often it's something that impacts us or someone we love deeply.

Here's the truth: That line isn't real. Not in Jesus' book.

I don't think we CAN forgive in our human nature. Jesus calls us to such a high standard that it goes beyond our ability. It has to be THROUGH GOD working in you that you can even do it.

MATTHEW 18: PETER'S QUESTION
Peter asked: "How many times shall I forgive? Up to seven times?" (Seven = number of completion. Peter thought he was being generous.)
Jesus answered: "Not seven times, but SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN." (Or 77, depending on translation.)

Jesus isn't giving a literal number. He's saying: FOREVER FORGIVENESS. It's not quantifiable. It's infinite. It's complete.

WHY WE CAN'T DO IT:
Romans 3:10-12 - "None is righteous, no not one. No one understands. No one seeks God. All have turned aside. They've become worthless. No one does good, not even one."

This isn't just Paul. He's summarizing FOUR other Bible passages. This is an over-and-over theme: You're not good. I'm not good. The best person you know isn't good. We're incapable of good.

Yet we're asked to TOTALLY remove the transgressions people lay on us. Set it as far away as possible. Forgive quickly, in the moment. No number of times someone can wrong you where you finally say "Now we're done."

FORGIVENESS ≠ RECONCILIATION

Reconciliation = restoration of relationship. Everything made right. Moving forward as friends, hand in hand.

Forgiveness = in HERE (your heart). I'm not gonna hold that anymore. I'm not counting it against you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean I put myself in a position where you can do it again. BUT, sometimes it MIGHT mean that. Maybe that's between you and God.

THE HILARIOUS PART:
You can't do it yourself (everything you do is evil in your flesh). YET through God you CAN. AND YET...you HAVE to.

God loves doing that. "You can't do it. Only God can. But you totally have to though."

MATTHEW 18:23-35: PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT
A king forgave a servant's MASSIVE debt (10,000 bags of gold—unpayable). That same servant went out and found a fellow servant who owed him a tiny amount. Refused to show mercy. Had him thrown in jail.

The king called him back: "You wicked servant! I canceled your ENTIRE debt because you begged me. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?"

The king handed him over to jailers to be tortured until he paid back everything.

The point: God forgave you an UNPAYABLE debt. How can you not forgive others?

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Jesus commands us to forgive, not seven times, but seventy times seven. But why is forgiveness so HARD?

TWO GREEK WORDS FOR FORGIVENESS:

Aphiēmi (147 times in NT, 42 times from Jesus) - Means "to LEAVE something." Leave behind our emotional tie to the offense.

Charizomai (24 times, all in Paul) - Means "to show MERCY." Give mercy to others like God gave us mercy.

Forgiveness = Leave the emotional tie + Show mercy.

WHY IS FORGIVENESS HARD?
Not because of what forgiveness IS. It's the UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS we pile onto it.

MYTH #1: "Forgive and Forget"
The Bible NEVER says this. We're wired to REMEMBER.
Experiment: Remember 35. Now forget it. What's the number? We can't forget.

BUT we CAN stop BRINGING UP the offense. We can leave that behind.
Emotional abuse is hard because we RELIVE it. In the wee hours of the morning, we relive that episode. We're abused hundreds of times because we relive it constantly.

GOOD NEWS: You don't have to. You can forgive and leave that emotional tie behind.

MYTH #2: Forgiveness Means Denying It Happened
NO. The offense happened. The offense hurt.

PETER'S STORY:
1 Corinthians 15: Jesus appeared to Peter PRIVATELY before the 12.
Peter said "I'll never betray you!" Hours later, denied Jesus THREE TIMES. Wept bitterly—heart-wracking sobs.

Jesus sought Peter out. "Did you deny me three times? Yes. That happened. But I forgive you."

Jesus didn't DENY it. He ACKNOWLEDGED it, then FORGAVE.

Forgiveness isn't pretending it didn't happen. It's leaving the emotional tie behind and showing mercy.

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0:00 - Introduction: Four Pastors, One Church
2:00 - Finishing "All That I've Commanded" Series
3:00 - Luke 17: Forgive Seven Times a Day
4:00 - Two Greek Words for "Forgive"
5:00 - Aphiēmi: To LEAVE Something
6:00 - Charizomai: To Show MERCY
7:00 - What We Leave Behind: Emotional Tie to Offense
8:00 - Why Is Forgiveness So Hard?
9:00 - Myth #1: "Forgive and Forget"
10:00 - The 35 Experiment: We're Wired to Remember
11:00 - Emotional Abuse: Reliving the Offense
12:00 - Peter's Private Meeting with Jesus
13:00 - Peter's Promise: "I'll Never Betray You"
14:00 - Peter Wept Bitterly
15:00 - What Did Jesus and Peter Talk About?
16:00 - Jesus Acknowledged It, Then Forgave
17:00 - Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Denying It Happened

#ForgivenessIsHard #ForgiveAndForget #CanYouForgive #LeaveItBehind #ShowMercy #NewHopeChurch #PastorRandy #SundaySermon #ForgivenessSermon #EmotionalTie #PeterDeniedJesus #JesusForgave #BiblicalForgiveness #HowToForgive #WhyForgiveHard

He is risen! This is the biggest holiday we celebrate, the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

We believe in a God who is intrinsically active in His creation. He made the earth, looked at it, and said "It's GOOD." He made man and woman in His image as His ambassadors, to enjoy life, work, food, relationship. One rule: Don't eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Then Satan slithered in with three lies (the same ones he uses today):
(1) God isn't trustworthy,
(2) There's hidden knowledge you need,
(3) It will make you like God.

Eve ate. Adam ate. Their eyes opened. They saw their nakedness, their shame, their sin. Their relationship with God was SEVERED. This sin was sewn into our DNA, every child after would suffer the same.

God cursed Satan, Adam, and Eve. But He promised: "One day her son will crush your head. You'll strike his heel, but he'll crush your head."

SIN DESTROYED EVERYTHING:
God reset with Noah and the flood. But Noah was a sinner too. Tower of Babel, humanity tried to make a great name for themselves. God scattered them according to the sons of God (that's where pagan nations and their gods came from).

Heaven marred by sin. Earth marred by sin. Sin ruins everything it touches.
God chose Abraham (who couldn't even have kids!) and said, "Through YOUR bloodline, I'm going to save the world. The seed of the woman will come through you."

The whole Old Testament is waiting for that Messianic figure, the Savior who will save us from sin and death. We thought it might be David. Nope. Every guy we thought might be THE guy fell apart.

THEN CAME JESUS:
Born of a virgin. Holy Spirit. God Himself (triune God). Lived the perfect life we can't live. And we KILLED Him for it.

Why? Because He preached things like "Love your enemy" and "If you follow me, you'll die to yourself." People wanted a warlord to save them from Rome. So they killed Him.

But Jesus PREDICTED it. He said it would be like Jonah, in the belly of the great sea beast for three days, then brought out. He predicted His own death and resurrection.

He died. Three days later, He rose from the dead. THAT'S what we celebrate today.

He conquered sin and death. He paid the toll we owed (our lives). He lived the perfect life we were expected to live. All the work is COMPLETED.

BUT WHY? WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT?
Isaiah 59:2 - "Your iniquities have separated you from your God. Your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear you."
God is GOOD. He wants His creation to be GOOD.

It would be one thing for Jesus to just save us from death. But that's not all He does. As Westerners, we often stop there: "Yeah, I'm saved by Jesus." But that's not the POINT.

The point of saving you is to RESTORE YOUR RELATIONSHIP with the God of the universe.

Sin separated us from God. Jesus' death and resurrection didn't just save us from hell, it RECONCILED us to God. It brought us BACK into relationship with Him.

That's the gospel. That's why Easter matters. He is risen indeed.
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Companion Podcasts:
Daily Devotional: "Let's Find Out Together"
Apologetics: "Salty Saints"

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Jesus' final command: "Go and make disciples." But discipleship starts at HOME. Parents are priests over their households, responsible for their children's spiritual development.

THE WEIGHT ON OVERSEERS:
Hebrews 13:17 - Overseers must give an account for your spiritual wellbeing. 1 Peter 5:1-4 - Shepherd God's flock, not for gain but willingly. Acts 20:28-31 - The church was bought with God's blood (like watching a Ferrari). Savage wolves will come. James 3:1 - Teachers judged more strictly.

BUT YOU'RE A PRIEST TOO:
1 Peter 2:9 - ALL believers are a royal priesthood. Parents are priests over their households. You'll stand before God and give an account for how well you led your children to Christ.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY:
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 - Impress commands on your children at ALL times (sitting, walking, lying down, rising). Tie on hands (actions), bind on foreheads (thoughts), write on doorframes (house emanates Christ).
Ephesians 6:4 - Bring them up in training and instruction of the Lord.
Genesis 18:18-19 - Abraham chosen to DIRECT his children and household. God entrusts bloodlines to faithful people passing down teachings.
Proverbs 22:6 - Direct children onto right path; when older, they won't leave it.

Luke 6:40 - Student becomes like their teacher. YOU'RE the teacher.

THE PROBLEM:
Parents drop kids at Sunday school—that's the ONLY time they hear about Jesus. When kids ask Bible questions, parents say "Go ask your pastor." YOU are their pastor. Church gets them for 1 hour/week. The world gets them 24/7.

If you're not discipling your kids, the WORLD IS. It's not asking permission. It's raising them in ITS image.
Many talk about "Jesus" on social media, but it's not the biblical Jesus. Kids are left to their own devices, forming conclusions from Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, school, friends.

THE SOLUTION:
Start with YOUR household first, then radiate outward: You → Family → Friends → Workplace → Strangers. Don't jump from A to Z.
Joshua 24:14-15 - "Choose this day whom you will serve... As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

What gods are in YOUR household? TV? Fox News? MSNBC? Podcasts? Nintendo Switch? What do your kids see you doing?
Go ALL IN on Jesus. Start reading the Bible with your kids TODAY. Lay a foundation. When they hit rock bottom later, they'll have something to stand on.

Church won't raise your kids into Christians. YOU will. And if you don't have the grounding yourself, you can't give what you don't possess.

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Jesus commands: "Don't assume." He says it several ways: Don't assume you know what I'm going to say. Don't be surprised by what I say. Don't think like everybody else and assume that's right.

THREE TIMES JESUS SAID "DON'T ASSUME":

1. John 3 - Nicodemus: "Don't be surprised when I say you must be born ANŌTHEN" (from above OR again). Nicodemus heard "again." Jesus meant "from above."
2. Matthew 10: "Don't assume I came to bring peace. I came to bring a sword." Follow Him anyway—even if it brings division.
3. Matthew 5: "Don't misunderstand—I didn't come to abolish the Law. I came to accomplish its purpose."

THREE THINGS WE ASSUME:

1. WHAT WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IS RIGHT Mark 7: Pharisees got mad disciples didn't wash hands before eating. But the OT NEVER commanded this. Pharisees took a priest tradition and applied it to everyone, dividing people into "holy ones" and "sinners." Jesus called them HYPOCRITES. Yesterday's solutions become today's problems.

2. WE KNOW OTHERS' MOTIVATIONS Joshua 22: Two tribes built an altar. Israel prepared for WAR—assuming rebellion. But they TALKED first. Turns out it was a memorial, not for sacrifice. Israel assumed WRONG. Mind reading is NOT a spiritual gift.

3. INTELLIGENT PEOPLE AGREE WITH US Romans 12:2 - We're prone to GROUP THINK. We listen to people who agree until we're convinced everyone agrees. Paul says: Be TRANSFORMED. Let God change the way you think.

HOW TO AVOID ASSUMPTIONS:

1. Recognize mind reading is NOT a spiritual gift
2. Celebrate differences of opinion (Romans 14)
3. Believe the best of others until proven wrong (Romans 12:10)

BOTTOM LINE: Don't assume. TALK. COMMUNICATE.

Conversations may be awkward. Do them anyway.

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Jesus commands us: "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us." Then He adds: "If you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).

This is an incredibly dangerous prayer. If you harbor anger, if you choose not to forgive, you're literally saying to God: "I don't want you to forgive me either."

THE PROBLEM: WE'RE GETTING ANGRIER
Road rage is UP. Indiana ranks 3rd in the nation for fatal crashes from road rage. Shootings on roadways jumped from 9 in 2019 to 65 in 2021.
Anger at government: 70% of Americans are frustrated or angry (consistently since 2010).

Social media: "Rage bait" was Oxford's Word of the Year. Content designed to make you angry keeps you on the site longer. Studies show: more social media = more anger.

WHY WE'RE ANGRY: Fundamental Attribution Error
When YOU mess up: "Well, circumstances dictated..." When SOMEONE ELSE messes up: "That idiot! They're fundamentally flawed!"
We cut ourselves slack we're not willing to give others.

HOW TO FORGIVE:
Stop saying "I can't forgive" - That's a lie. You CHOOSE not to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. So is anger.

Learn the difference between HURT and INJURY - Injury requires treatment. Hurt can be forgiven. Deal with injury appropriately, but recognize most offenses are hurt, not injury.

Forgiveness doesn't eliminate consequences - A thief can apologize, but legal consequences remain. Forgiveness doesn't erase effects.

Forgiveness benefits YOU, not them - If you choose anger, it consumes you. If you forgive, you're FREE from bondage to that offense.

Recognize how God has forgiven YOU - That slap on the cheek doesn't seem so big when you look at Jesus on the cross.

Choose to forgive DAILY - It's not one-time. Every day you can pick that offense back up. So every day, choose to forgive again.

BUT WAIT—Can We Rebuke AND Forgive?
Luke 17: "If another believer sins, rebuke that person. Then if there's repentance, forgive."

"Judge" has two meanings: (1) Come to a right decision, (2) Condemn. Jesus says don't CONDEMN. But DO judge (come to right decision). Rebuke the sin. Help them see what they did. Then FORGIVE.

BOTTOM LINE:
When something bad happens, DON'T choose anger. That's natural—but it's WRONG. When you choose anger, they get angrier, you get angrier, and it snowballs into a car-wrecking disaster.

Choose forgiveness. It's unnatural. It must be learned. But it sets YOU free.

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Jesus' disciples asked, "Lord, teach us to pray" (Luke 11:1-4). Jesus gave them a simple model: "Father, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come soon. Give us each day the food we need and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. And don't let us yield to temptation."What strikes me about that prayer? It's SIMPLE. No flowery words. No "thee" and "thou." Just straightforward, everyday words, everyday needs. And it's SHORT—about 15 seconds.Prayer is simply a conversation with God, just like you'd talk to a friend.

WHY DID JESUS PRAY?

FIVE REASONS:
TO BUILD RELATIONSHIP - Luke 3: At Jesus' baptism, as He prayed, the Father said "You are my dearly loved Son." Do you just present a list of wants? Or build relationship?

FOR GUIDANCE - Four times Jesus spent ALL NIGHT in prayer before major decisions (choosing the 12, starting public ministry, Gethsemane). Are your big decisions informed by prayer?

TO GIVE THANKS - Luke 10: Jesus stopped mid-day to thank the Father. When you become aware of God's presence, do you stop and thank Him?

FOR PERSONAL STRENGTH - Gethsemane: Jesus was in such agony His sweat fell like drops of blood. An angel came and strengthened Him. When you need strength, do you pray?

FOR OTHERS—INCLUDING ENEMIES - Luke 6: "Pray for those who hurt you." Pray for everyone you contact. If they're not friendly, you DEFINITELY have something to pray for.

HOW SHOULD WE PRAY?
The Lord's Prayer is 15 seconds. It's just a conversation. In John's Gospel, it doesn't say Jesus "prayed" it says He "looked to heaven and said." That's prayer: talking to your friend.Jesus prayed FREQUENTLY but not always in scheduled blocks. The urge to talk to His Father came on Him, and He did it, sometimes in front of crowds, sometimes alone.

TRUE CONFESSION:
I struggle with extended prayer times. My mind wanders. But it hit me: Prayer is a CONVERSATION. I don't schedule times to talk to my wife. I see her and talk. The conversation lasts 3-4 minutes. An hour later, we do it again.That's what I do with God all day long. Driving, someone comes to mind, I pray. It's not a separate 15-minute block—it's CONSTANT.BUT WAIT—
Does that mean we shouldn't have 15-minute prayer times? Of course not! Jesus spent ALL NIGHT in prayer. We need BOTH: extended times AND constant conversation throughout the day. Be bold enough to stop and say, "May I pray for you right now?"FOUR QUESTIONS:
When and how do I pray to build my relationship with God? If you don't, start.

When and how do I pray for guidance and strength? I was taught I can do anything if I try hard enough. I can't. Neither can you. We ALL need strength.

When and how do I thank God? Keep a Thanksgiving journal. Write down what you thank God for. When you get depressed, open it up.

When and how do I pray for others? Friends, enemies—doesn't matter. Pray for those you can influence.

BOTTOM LINE: PRAY.Lord, teach us to pray like You prayed. We need You. We need that relationship. We need Your guidance, Your strength, Your empowerment to bless others.

Jesus looked at 12 ordinary guys and said: "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give." (Matthew 10:5-8)

Then they DID. Not by their own power, by God's power working through them.

In week 5 of "All That I've Commanded You," Pastor Zach tackles the command we often skip: miracles, healing, and God's supernatural work TODAY.

THE CORE MESSAGE:
I'm not a cessationist (someone who believes miracles stopped after the early church). Why? I don't see that anywhere in my Bible. People all over the world report miracles TODAY.

The Great Commission is self-replicating. YOU have been given authority (by God's power alone) to heal the sick, raise the dead, and drive out demons. Not by YOUR power, by God's.

TWO TRUTHS IN TENSION:
WE PRAY DILIGENTLY AND EXPECT MIRACLES - Jesus healed constantly. "By your faith you have been healed." We should ask boldly.

WHEN MIRACLES DON'T HAPPEN, WE STILL PRAISE GOD - Sometimes God says NO. Jesus in Gethsemane prayed for another way. God said NO—the cross was the only way. Nobody had more faith than Jesus, yet God said no.

THE SHADRACH, MESHACH, ABEDNEGO APPROACH:
"Our God will rescue us from the furnace. And even if He doesn't, we still won't bow. We'll bow to the God of the universe."

God's going to come through. And even if He doesn't, He's still God, He's still good, and I trust Him.

THREE REAL MIRACLE STORIES:
PASTOR TONY SMITH:
Christmas Eve - major heart attack, 5% heart function, total organ failure. Doctors: "We don't know how you're alive." Hundreds praying. Organs restart. Heart climbs from 5% to 30%. Doctors: "We don't understand how this is possible." Two weeks later: eating lunch with pastors, preaching again.

STEVE (Stage 4 Cancer):
Given a year to live. Sees Jesus laughing at the end of his bed. Prays: "Just give me a fighting chance." Specialist uses the EXACT same words. 10 years later: cancer-free, alive, following Jesus. Jesus was laughing because He'd already conquered Steve's death, physically AND spiritually.

COREY (Age 32):
Hodgkin's AND non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Risky surgery. Nurses circle around, pray over him. "I knew God had me. I wasn't afraid." His response: "I believe God will heal me. But if He doesn't, I'm okay going home. My family knows Jesus. Whatever time I have, I'll spend telling everyone about Jesus."

THE D.L. MOODY STORY:
D.L. Moody preached two identical sermons. First service: total apathy. Second service: HUNDREDS saved. What changed? Between services, a bedridden woman locked herself in her room and prayed past midnight.
Was it hundreds praying? Or ONE person on their knees? It takes ONE God and ONE faithful servant.

YOUR ROLE:
Can YOU be that person? Totally sold out to Jesus in prayer?
When you're sick: Don't suffer alone. James says go to your elders, have them anoint you with oil and pray. We don't see that enough.

BOTTOM LINE:
We pray diligently. We expect miracles. And when it doesn't go our way, we trust the God who heals and uses ALL things for good.

Miracles happen. God is still moving. Open your eyes.

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0:00 - Introduction & Series Context
1:00 - Today's Topic: Miracles & Healing
3:00 - Jesus Tells the 12: "Go Do What I Do"
4:00 - I'm Not a Cessationist - Here's Why
6:00 - The Great Commission Is Self-Replicating
7:00 - Why Did They Keep Healing in Acts?
9:00 - "By Your Faith You Have Been Healed"
10:00 - Jesus in Gethsemane - When God Says No
11:00 - God Uses Suffering for Good
12:00 - Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego - "Even If He Doesn't"
14:00 - Tony: 5% Heart Function, Total Organ Failure
15:00 - Mike Wiggin Gets Inside Info
16:00 - Heart Doctor: "He's Going to Die"
18:00 - We Arrive - Tony's Eating a Salad
20:00 - Two Weeks Later: Preaching Again
21:00 - STORY 2: Steve's Stage 4 Cancer
22:00 - Steve Sees Jesus Laughing at His Bed
25:00 - STORY 3: Corey's Lymphoma Diagnosis
26:00 - Age 32 - Hodgkin's & Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma
27:00 - Nurses Circle and Pray Before Surgery
28:00 - "Whatever Time I Have, I'll Tell Everyone About Jesus"
29:00 - D.L. Moody Story - Two Services, Two Results
31:00 - Second Service: Hundreds Saved
32:00 - The Bedridden Woman Who Prayed All Night
34:00 - Don't Suffer Alone - Go to Your Elders
35:00 - Closing Prayer
36:00 - Outro