If you’re in an anxious avoidant dynamic, you probably know how quickly small moments can turn into big arguments that feel awful for both of you. What most couples do not realize is that these recurring fights are not random at all. They follow a very predictable pattern rooted in your attachment styles, your needs, and the ways you both protect yourselves when things feel vulnerable.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the most common arguments I see anxious avoidant couples have, why they happen, and what is really going on underneath the surface for each partner. These patterns used to show up constantly in my own marriage, and understanding them changed everything. My hope is that this episode gives you clarity, compassion, and a clearer path forward.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• The most common fights anxious avoidant couples get stuck in

• Why small moments turn into big arguments

• What each partner is really needing in these conflicts

• The hidden patterns driving the tension

• How to begin breaking the cycle together

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

The anxious avoidant dynamic is one of the most common patterns couples fall into, and it can create a powerful push-pull cycle that leaves both partners feeling misunderstood, unseen, and disconnected. In this episode, I’m breaking down why this dynamic forms, how it intensifies under the weight of parenting, and the small shifts that can completely change the way you relate to each other.

I also share real client examples to help you see this pattern in action, why anxious and avoidant styles are so often drawn to each other, and what it actually takes to start breaking the cycle so you can move toward a more secure, connected marriage.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• What makes the anxious avoidant pairing so common

• How the push-pull cycle starts and why it escalates

• The role mental load plays in intensifying this dynamic

• Why anxious partners pursue and avoidant partners pull back

• The specific shifts each partner needs to make to help the relationship feel safer

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

A few weeks ago I talked about avoidant attachment, but I realized I needed to take you deeper. There are actually two very different forms of avoidant attachment, and understanding the difference can completely change how you interpret your spouse’s behavior and how you respond to it.

In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the difference between dismissive avoidant and fearful avoidant attachment, how each one develops, and the specific ways they show up in marriage, especially after kids. I’m also sharing which one my spouse resonates with and how understanding this has changed the way we navigate conflict, emotions, and connection in our relationship.

If your partner withdraws, minimizes emotions, gets overwhelmed by big feelings, or swings between closeness and distance, this episode will help you finally understand why.

Tune in to discover:

• The core fear behind avoidant attachment and why it develops

• Key traits of dismissive avoidant partners and how they show up after kids

• Why fearful avoidant partners crave closeness but also pull away

• How these styles influence conflict, emotions, and communication

• Why understanding your partner’s pattern helps you respond with more confidence and care

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

Get your FREE EBOOK! 3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less): https://marriedafterkids.com/freebie

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

There is one tool that has the power to shift the emotional climate of your marriage faster than almost anything else. It reduces shutdown, lowers stress, strengthens teamwork, and helps you feel genuinely seen by your spouse. But even though it is simple, most couples struggle to use it consistently or effectively after kids.

In today’s episode, I am breaking down why this tool matters so much, what gets in the way of using it, and how to start integrating it into your marriage in a way that feels authentic instead of forced. This one shift can completely transform how connected, supported, and understood you feel.

Tune in to discover:



• Why this tool is one of the strongest protectors against marriage shutdown

• The invisible barriers that keep couples from using it even when they want to

• How overwhelm, attachment, and expectations get in the way of connection

• The mindset shift that makes this tool work even when your spouse is not doing it back

• How to build a culture of connection that strengthens your marriage every single day

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

One of the most common dynamics I see in marriage (especially between anxious and avoidant attachment styles) is the push and pull between emotional and physical intimacy. One partner needs emotional closeness before they can be physical, while the other needs physical connection before they can open up emotionally. And this cycle leaves both partners feeling unseen, frustrated, and stuck.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why this happens, what’s really going on underneath the surface, and how to start changing the pattern so you can both get your needs met. You’ll learn how attachment styles play a major role in this dynamic, why neither partner is “wrong” for what they need, and how small shifts in perspective and action can completely change your connection.

Tune in to discover:

• Why emotional and physical intimacy often feel like opposite needs

• How attachment styles shape your comfort with closeness and vulnerability

• What’s really happening when you both feel unmet and misunderstood

• The mindset shift that helps you meet each other’s needs without resentment

• How to rebuild teamwork and connection, even when it feels impossible

The Holiday Connection Challenge: https://marriedafterkids.com/holiday-connection-challege

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

If your spouse ever seems emotionally distant, shuts down during hard moments, or “stays busy” instead of connecting, this episode will help you understand why. In this follow-up to last week’s conversation on anxious attachment, I’m diving into the five key traits of avoidant attachment and how they impact your marriage.

Whether this is your attachment style or your partner’s, understanding these patterns will completely change how you interpret their behavior and how you can respond in ways that build trust and safety instead of disconnection.

Tune in to discover:

• The core fear that drives avoidant attachment

• What’s really happening when your partner pulls away

• Why closeness can sometimes feel uncomfortable

• The link between logic, emotional shutdown, and invalidation in marriage

• How to build safety and closeness with a partner who tends to pull away

The Holiday Connection Challenge: https://marriedafterkids.com/holiday-connection-challege

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Attachment styles have become a big topic lately, and for good reason. They shape how we love, communicate, and respond in our relationships. In this episode, I’m diving into the five key traits of anxious attachment and how they show up in marriage, especially after kids.

If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking, craving reassurance, or feeling more impacted by emotional distance than your partner, this conversation will help you understand why. I’m sharing personal insights from my own anxious attachment style, what I’ve learned through years of research and client work, and how to begin creating more security, confidence, and peace in your relationship.

Tune in to discover:

• The core fear that drives anxious attachment and how it shows up in marriage

• Why emotional closeness can feel like safety and distance feels so threatening

• How inconsistency and uncertainty fuel anxiety and disconnection

• The link between overthinking, control, and emotional burnout

• How comparison and jealousy often stem from fear rather than fact

The Holiday Connection Challenge: https://marriedafterkids.com/holiday-connection-challege

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Get your FREE EBOOK! 3 Ways To Connect More With Your Spouse (In 5 Min or Less): https://marriedafterkids.com/freebie

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids

Marriage shutdown can feel like one of the most painful and confusing places to be. You’re lonely, resentful, and unsure how to fix it, and even the good moments never seem to last. But there’s one specific part of marriage shutdown that truly scares me, and it’s something most couples don’t even realize is happening until it’s already taken hold.

In this episode, I’m breaking down what makes this stage of marriage so dangerous and what you can do to change it. I’ll share personal stories from my own marriage, the psychology behind why our brains look for someone to blame, and the key mindset shift that can help you and your spouse move from disconnection to teamwork again.

Tune in to discover:

• The hidden reason couples stay stuck in marriage shutdown

• Why focusing on your spouse’s flaws keeps you from healing the real issue

• How your brain’s “protective mechanism” can make things worse

• The dynamic I call the “shutdown spiral” and how to identify yours

• What to do instead to rebuild connection and start working as a team again

The Holiday Connection Challenge: https://marriedafterkids.com/holiday-connection-challege

The Us System: https://marriedafterkids.com/the-us-system

FREE Marriage Shutdown Checklist: https://marriedafterkids.com/marriage-shutdown?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=links&utm_campaign=MSoptin

Connect with me for a FREE Married After Kids Intervention Call:

https://marriedafterkids.satoriapp.com/offers/277730-married-after-kids-intervention-call

Follow me on Instagram so you don’t miss a thing! www.instagram.com/marriedafterkids