Episodes

  • Bone Tomahawk
    Nov 15 2024

    If you like dysentery, the old west is for you. If you like filth, the old west is for you. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to live utterly at the mercy of the elements and corrupt lawmen while you work your tenant field of sorghum for two cents a day that you can spend on bathtub whiskey at the local saloon, then your only option is to somehow travel back in time to live in the old west. Or move to Texas. For the rest of us, however, we’re generally content to see all that unpleasantness from afar on the silver screen, which is why they make so many movies about the American frontier, but none quite like Bone Tomahawk, a 2015 western/horror directed by S. Craig Zahler. This gritty genre blend wasn’t much commercially, but garnered plenty of praise critically, which meant that it was only a matter of time before western fan Elliot watched and subsequently forced his brother to do the same. Now that both brothers have taken it in, what do they think? The only way to find out is by starting the episode, so before you amputate your gangrenous leg, maybe take the edge off with an exciting new installment of Magellans at the Movies!

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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Shoplifters
    Nov 8 2024

    There truly is nothing like crime to bring a family together. Why are criminal organizations organized by families? Why do family businesses that get big also commit massive fraud? The answer is obvious: taking stuff that doesn’t belong to you is just the spit shine that your fraying familial ties are in need of. After all, it’s by embezzling listener donations that Elliot and Nathan fund their wild weekends in Vegas, and thereby foster the close sibling bond that makes this program what it is. Don’t just take my word for it, though, take it from the true intellectuals of modern society: movie directors! Specifically, director Hirokazu Koreeda’s 2018 family drama Shoplifters. This is one of those movies that people effusively praise at parties in lieu of developing a personality, and which of our favorite hosts will be effusively praising the film, I wonder? Only one way to find out, so grab that pomegranate and make a beeline for the exit so you can listen to the episode in the comfort of your own home rather than the cold austerity of a jail cell.

    Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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    Check out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

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    56 mins
  • Halloween (1978)
    Nov 1 2024

    As the month of wraiths draws to a close and we all look forward to the far calmer, gentler event of the American election day, stay just a little bit longer in the spooky season with Magellans at the Movies. And what better way to commemorate the holiday of Halloween than reviewing the 1978 John Carpenter directed slasher film for which it was named? This is the movie that popularized the masked, reticent killer stalking teenagers and offing them one by one, so if that structure appeals to you, you’ve almost certainly seen it before. Even those of us who find less favor in the dramatized suffering of our fellow man are likely to have enjoyed Halloween, or at least its influence, once or twice in our lives, so before the world gets cheerful with the anticipation of Christmas, get fearful with the dread of what may be lurking in the shadows in your room . . . Everyone’s entitled to one good podcast, no matter the time of year, so let’s get started with ours!

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    57 mins
  • Kingsman: The Secret Service
    Oct 26 2024

    To be a spy is to live in the terrible knowledge that some day, somehow, someone is going to get a bizarre and destructive notion in their head to blow up the sun so that their coal stocks increase in worth or something. Thankfully, the brave men and women of the world’s intelligence agencies train every day for just such occasions, but have you ever wondered how it all gets started? Have you ever wanted to see the making of a classically British gentleman spy? Your answers to those questions may go some way towards predicting how you will respond to Kingsman: The Secret Service, a 2014 spy action movie directed by Matthew Vaughn. Kingsman is, indeed, the story of a young man’s forming into a Bond-esque super spy so he can stop a dastardly plot only slightly less ridiculous than destroying the sun. Kingsman was popular enough to spawn a franchise that is with us to this day, so clearly most people will answer in the affirmative to the aforementioned questions, but what say the hosts of Magellans at the Movies? That’s what we’re here to find out, so slip on your suit and lace up those Oxfords for another suave episode!

    Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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    58 mins
  • Magellans on the 2000s
    Oct 20 2024

    Ah, to be alive in the 2000s. A time when you could enjoy . . . uh . . . roller blading? Look, I won’t lie to you: humanity has had better decades. The 2000s saw the unspeakable tragedy of 9/11, followed by the forever wars in the Middle East that made Vietnam look like a brief spat between friendly neighbors. Still, they continued to make movies during this period of uncertainty and unrest, and at least ten of them were quite good. “Which ten?” I hear you ask. Well that, my dear reader, is the subject of today’s episode of Magellans at the Movies. That’s right, folks, we’re going back to Lord of the Rings, Nolan’s Batman, and much much more as we sift through the entertainment rough in search of a few diamonds. Won’t you come along and join us? No? Drat. Well if you change your mind, you know where to find us!

    Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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    1 hr and 32 mins
  • Joker
    Oct 11 2024

    Jokes, we all love ‘em! They make us laugh, they make us think, on certain days they can be exchanged for candy, but as every self important comedian will tell you if you're trapped in a conversation with them, jokes can be a vehicle for scathing social criticism in deft hands. In, uh, slightly less deft hands, however, sometimes the best you can hope for is comedy that boils down to an unironic iteration of “We live in a society.” Now despite having the word joke in the title, Todd Philips’ 2019 comic book drama Joker isn't supposed to be funny, but it does boil down to an unironic iteration of "we live in a society". Joker absolutely raked in cash on release, but popularity has always been a poor indicator of quality, as is demonstrated on today's episode of the neither popular nor quality program Magellans at the Movies. Whether your life is a tragedy, a comedy, or an indie, come one come all and start the episode!

    Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • The Sixth Sense
    Oct 4 2024

    Ghosts. Surely the most logistically puzzling of supernatural fiends, the mechanics of ghosts, their creation and destruction, and their predilection for mostly just knocking stuff off tables or opening and closing doors in grainy camcorder footage are all questions people have asked about our phantasmic friends, but answers remain sparse. Fortunately, when you’re making a movie you can just make stuff up and authenticate it through the fact that you’re telling a fictional story and therefore what you say goes. That’s certainly how M. Night Shyamalan likes to do things, to, uh, let’s say uneven success. We’re not here to talk about Shyamalan’s recent struggles, however, we’re here to talk about The Sixth Sense, a 1999 chiller thriller about a boy and some decidedly unfriendly ghosts, at least initially. The Sixth Sense was so successful on release that it essentially made Shyamalan’s career, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that he’s been trying to recapture the magic ever since. You can see why, though, this movie is tense, dramatic, moving, and boasts of one of the most famous twists in cinematic history, all of which will be discussed at painful length by the brothers Magellan in today’s new episode! If you see dead people, just close your eyes and lend us your ears for all the movie goodness!

    Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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    57 mins
  • Avatar
    Sep 27 2024

    Avatar was made in 2009 by perennially smug not-eur James Cameron and we’re reviewing it. Yay.

    Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.com

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    1 hr and 9 mins