When all your life you were independent and fought all the battles on your own without help. There were dark moments where you thought you would never make it out. Many wondered why you never asked for help. It was the way you were brought up. If you showed your emotions or asked for help. Then you were considered weak. Your younger self being on your own with no one, it wasn’t terrifying because you have been doing this all your life. Your adult life feeling alone and still not asking for help. These days you would rather be quiet and figure your situation on your own without anyone knowing you are in pain and need help. Too many take for granted that the strong ones still need to be checked on. We are strong, but sometimes being strong all your life gets tiring. You know you have been through this storm before and you know you will have to go through it again, but this time around you know it’s something you can handle. It made you stronger and it made you realize a small break was all that you needed. The great escape wasn’t an escape at all. It was finding yourself again through all the chaos and pain.

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When you are tired of fighting. When you don’t trust no one anymore because your trust gets broken. The darker the storm the more the enemy will attack. He is attacking you because you are a threat. You keep walking with God, even when you get lost. You still run back to God. You don’t tell no one you are a Christian, You show it through your actions. You will make mistakes and have to forgive the ones you hurt as well. I’m ready for combat and am ready for each battle God has us walk through. You will have your moments in private but in public no one will know the battle you are going through. You chose to remain strong and firm because you know God has all of this under control. We just have to learn how to put all of our worries in his hands and to trust him.

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Having two people in your life sick with no cure. It could be your brother or father. The news gets even harder to bear or accept. I see right through me because at every angle I feel like I’m being attacked in my life. I can’t catch a break or be able to catch my breath. Even through my own health battles I can’t understand why I have to go through all of this? When people around me seem calm, even though it may seem calm on the outside it usually means there is a war going on inside. I will get through this because I have God. I see right through me knowing that this season I am in, my old self is fading away. This year I realized all the situations I went through, I learned my lessons, but I also realized that God was removing my old self and transitioning me to my new self. A stronger and wise self who will still hurt and have pain, but will be wiser.

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