What is your “Reflex Reaction”? When unexpected circumstances arise (as they so often do), do you react with joy and thankfulness or do you respond with irritation, grumbling, and complaining? Throughout the Bible we are instructed, and commanded, to rejoice always. But how do we do that when we are confronted with sickness, grief, and other things we can’t change? As we head into Thanksgiving week, Jim shares a special, simple practice he has been implementing for years: Thank Therapy. At the crux of this practice is the understanding that thankfulness is a choice: an act of will, an intentional decision. While our circumstances may not change, we can change our attitude - and that can make all the difference.

Links:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

Have a question or comment about the show? Email Jim: info@homeword.com

Bible Verse Focus

1 Thessalonians 5:16,17,18

Today’s episode of HomeWord is Part 2 with renowned psychologist, author, and leadership consultant Dr. John Townsend called Ask The Expert. In a special twist on our usual interview style, Jim and John roleplay a teenager and parent Q & A with common questions your teens may be asking. Jim and John go back and forth displaying how attitude, compromise, negotiation and being curious (aka asking additional questions!) help deepen these conversations with your teen - hopefully leading to a more positive outcome. We’ve listed the timestamps below for the questions they work through during this episode. If you enjoy this style of podcast, let us know in the comments!

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Understanding Your Teen Seminar:

About Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/

Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling: https://www.cui.edu/townsend

Townsend Leadership Program: https://drtownsend.com/townsend-leadership-program/

Townsend Personal and Relational Assessment Tool: https://tprat.com/

Books:

Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: https://a.co/d/dxHieyj

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How To Say No to Take Control of Your Life: https://a.co/d/1wfAv9N

All Books by Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/books/

Understanding Your Teen: Shaping Their Character, Facing Their Realities: https://a.co/d/cW4Bx1U

Questions In This Episode:

1. [3:32] I don’t even want to go to school, I don’t like it/School is boring/I know my grades are slipping but why does that even matter?
2. [7:23] Everybody looks at porn, I don’t get what the big deal is and why you’re giving such harsh consequences.
3. [12:43] Church is boring/I don’t want to go to that church/I’m having some doubts/It’s unfair that you force me to go to church
4. [21:10] I know I broke curfew again but I think losing my driving privileges is super harsh.

Jim’s Takeways

When it comes to parenting your teens:

1. Don’t even try to be their best friend.
   1. Be the parent. Have boundaries. Be the authority.
2. Be loving and understanding and help them create a plan with boundaries to live the teenage years.
3. Don’t be afraid to bring in a referee/a moderator when needed.
   1. When you need a breakthrough with your teen, look at adding in a trusted, impartial voice (think pastor/counselor). Sometimes both you and your teen need a fresh perspective on the same issue!

Navigating the pre-teen and teen years is an…adventure. Whether your child is approaching this stage or currently putting you through your paces, Jim’s conversation with renowned psychologist, author, and leadership consultant Dr. John Townsend is full of insight into this tumultuous season of parenting. Focusing on John’s book Boundaries with Teens, they discuss how our children should first be viewed with compassion (we were teens once, too!) and how laying out ground rules, expectations, freedom, and consequences provides clarity and empowerment in their own decisions. This is part 1 of our show with Dr. John Townsend - make sure to tune in next week for Part 2!

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

About Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/

Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling: https://www.cui.edu/townsend

Townsend Leadership Program: https://drtownsend.com/townsend-leadership-program/

Townsend Personal and Relational Assessment Tool: https://tprat.com/

Books:

Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No: https://a.co/d/dxHieyj

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How To Say No to Take Control of Your Life: https://a.co/d/1wfAv9N

All Books by Dr. John Townsend: https://drtownsend.com/books/

Understanding Your Teen: Shaping Their Character, Facing Their Realities: https://a.co/d/cW4Bx1U

The 4 Anchors

from Boundaries with Teens by Dr. John Townsend

1. Love
2. Truth
3. Freedom
4. Reality

I think it’s safe to assume that most of us desire a marriage of intimacy. We long to be close to our spouse emotionally, spiritually, and physically - all God-given desires. But as Jim and author, speaker, pastor, and comedian Ted Cunningham point out, that doesn’t mean it’s easy! Our marriages must be approached with intention. You can’t keep waking up each day, doing the same things, and expecting there to be growth - you have to make the decision to implement changes so your intimacy deepens. If that sounds like a lot of work, don’t worry - Jim and Ted say take it one baby step at a time: small, intentional actions each day can lead to a lifelong legacy of intimacy, strength, and lots of fun.

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Ted Cunningham: https://woodhills.org/im-new/meet-the-team/ted-cunningham/

Embracing Your Season Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/embracing-your-season-raising-littles-and/id1716476740

Books:

Greater Joy TWOgether: https://helpingcoupleswin.com/resources/greater-joy-twogether/

Fun Loving You: https://helpingcoupleswin.com/resources/fun-loving-you/

From Anger to Intimacy: https://helpingcoupleswin.com/resources/from-anger-to-intimacy/

Doing Life With Your Adult Children: https://homeword.com/product/dlwac-book/

Today, Jim welcomes back author and speaker Arlene Pellicane to discuss the top 9 questions she’s asked about screen time and kids from her book Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World. From when to give kids a phone to how your child handles friendship without social media, from video games in the home to opposing parental opinions, from well-intentioned gifts from grandparents to the difference between a physical book and reading on a tablet, this conversation is your one-stop shop for the top questions you have about raising your kids in a tech-driven world! We suggest bookmarking this episode and returning to it whenever you feel doubt, or peer pressure, or just want encouragement for the screen decisions you’re making at home.

HomeWord:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Leave a Message for HomeWord: 949-485-3905

Have a question you want Jim to answer? Email us! info@homeword.com

Arlene Pellicane:

Arlene’s Website: https://arlenepellicane.com/

The Happy Home Podcast: https://shorturl.at/ESpPG

Contact Arlene: speaking@arlenepellicane.com

Books:

Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World: https://a.co/d/fOFdOcL

GrandParenting Screen Kids: https://a.co/d/9oO1jh3

Parents Rising: https://a.co/d/ilCwXHm

31 Days to a Happy Husband: https://a.co/d/bgfxgvy

UPCOMING RELEASE: Making Marriage Easier

All Books by Arlene Pellicane: https://shorturl.at/Af2p5

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt: https://a.co/d/hxs5DTb

Order Jim’s New Book:

A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: https://homeword.com/product/students-guide-to-sexual-integrity-gods-plan-for-sex-and-your-body/

If your kids or spouse came to you and said “I feel like you give your phone more attention than me”, would you be able to take it? Would it spur you to examine your digital use and make a change? On today’s episode of HomeWord, Jim welcomes author and speaker Arlene Pellicane to discuss her book Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World. Learn some of the science behind addiction and what it does to your and your child's brain, why teenagers are saying we should ban phones and social media for 16 and under, and how to truly thrive as a family in a world where tech will probably never disappear. With some staggering statistics yet heaps of encouragement, Jim and Arlene navigate the complexities of this topic with humor and sincerity. We suggest bookmarking this episode and returning to it whenever you feel peer pressure shoving in.

HomeWord:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Leave a Message for HomeWord: 949-485-3905

Have a question you want Jim to answer? Email us! info@homeword.com

Arlene Pellicane:

Arlene’s Website: https://arlenepellicane.com/

The Happy Home Podcast: https://shorturl.at/ESpPG

Contact Arlene: speaking@arlenepellicane.com

Books:

Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World: https://a.co/d/fOFdOcL

All Books by Arlene Pellicane: https://shorturl.at/Af2p5

Order Jim’s New Book:

A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: https://homeword.com/product/students-guide-to-sexual-integrity-gods-plan-for-sex-and-your-body/

If you had the opportunity to heal, would you take it? It might seem like a silly question, but often, we become so accustomed to our pain, suffering, or grief that it feels like a part of who we are. Yet, true healing requires a conscious decision to pursue it. Today, Jim talks with renowned author, speaker, and founder of New Life Ministries, Stephen Arterburn, about his book Healing Is A Choice. Drawing from his personal experiences, Stephen and Jim explore various aspects of healing, such as connection, grief, and the role of community, while addressing lies we may believe that can block our path to recovery. We all experience pain - whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual - but while only God has the power to heal, the decision to seek that healing is ours to make.

HomeWord Links:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Leave a Message for HomeWord: 949-485-3905

Have a question you want Jim to answer? Email us! info@homeword.com

Stephen Arterburn

New Life Ministries: https://newlife.com/

New Life LIVE Broadcasts: https://newlife.com/broadcasts/

Stephen Arterburn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstephenarterburn/

Life Recovery Groups on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liferecoverygroups/

Call New Life: 1-800-NEW LIFE (639-54330

Books:

Healing Is a Choice: https://a.co/d/gleICLZ

Every Man’s Battle: https://a.co/d/1JbVpy5

All of Stephen’s Books

Order Jim’s New Book:

A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: https://homeword.com/product/students-guide-to-sexual-integrity-gods-plan-for-sex-and-your-body/

Can parents combat the constant barrage of negative messaging our children receive from school, social media, and societal pressures? Though it seems like an uphill battle, there is hope! Today, Jim welcomes speaker, therapist, and best-selling author Dr. Chinwé Williams to discuss her book, Seen: Healing Despair and Anxiety in Kids and Teens Through the Power of Connection. Together, they explore how intentional presence, positive affirmations, “just listening” and developing grit in your kids can foster resilience, confidence, and a strong sense of self-worth even in the face of life's challenges. If you have children, work with youth, or are a regular caregiver - this episode needs to be bookmarked.

Jim’s Takeaways

From Seen:

1. When we show up, they feel loved
2. When we see them, they feel understood
3. Just listen, and they feel safe
4. Speak life and they feel worthy
5. Develop grit in their life and they’re going to feel empowered

HomeWord Links:

HomeWord Website: https://homeword.com/

HomeWord Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@homeword

Jim Burns Blog: https://homeword.com/jims-blog/

HomeWord+ Online Courses: https://homeword.com/homeword-plus/

Leave a Message for HomeWord: 949-485-3905

Have a question you want Jim to answer? Email us! info@homeword.com

Dr. Chinwé Williams Links:

Dr. Chinwé Williams Website: https://drchinwewilliams.com/

Books:

Seen: Healing Despair and Anxiety in Kids and Teens Through the Power of Connection: https://a.co/d/9xGh8hk

Beyond The Spiral: Why You Shouldn’t Believe Everything Anxiety Tells You: https://a.co/d/gEdNJ2h

Order Jim’s New Book:

A Student’s Guide to Sexual Integrity: https://homeword.com/product/students-guide-to-sexual-integrity-gods-plan-for-sex-and-your-body/