Life in your 40s can hit hard, and if you're feeling the weight of it all right now, you are not alone. In this episode, Abby gets real and personal about a difficult situation she's been navigating with one of her kids, and how the stress of it has started to feel like so much more than just "situational anxiety." Between caring for our families, keeping up with the house, showing up at work, and being everyone else's emotional rock, it can feel impossible to also take care of ourselves. But here's the thing: it IS possible, and it looks different for everyone.

Key Topics Covered:

• What situational anxiety actually is and how it can slowly start to feel all-encompassing.
• Why our 40s often bring a wave of hard life events, for us and the people we love most.
• Amy's observation about why Abby handles stress better than almost anyone she knows.
• The difference between situations we can't avoid and ones where we actually do have a choice.
• Practical things we do to take care of ourselves when life feels overwhelming.
• Why our brains crave predictability and what to do when life refuses to give us that.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

INFRARED SAUNA: https://amzlink.to/az05Rg8T8ZNO5

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What does it really take to create lasting behavior change, especially in the middle of busy motherhood? In this conversation, our friend and behavior change expert Karin Nordin shares a refreshing, research-backed approach rooted in compassion rather than discipline. Drawing from her background in health communication and her own personal struggles, Karin breaks down why traditional advice around habits often falls short and what to focus on instead. This episode offers a practical and realistic framework for moms who want to follow through on their goals without burnout, all while embracing a more flexible and sustainable way to create change.

Key Topics Covered:

• The trampoline metaphor and how it helps reframe all-or-nothing thinking.
• Why the word “habit” may be overemphasized and commonly misunderstood.
• The difference between discipline and conscientiousness and why it matters.
• Real-life examples of what qualifies as a habit and what does not.
• Coaching strategies for implementing a consistent morning workout routine.
• How to approach changes in eating patterns without relying on restrictions.
• What a ritual check-in is and how to use it effectively.
• Why routines should stay under 30 minutes.
• The shift from focusing on consistency to prioritizing frequency.

Get your free Procrastination resource here: https://bodybrainalliance.com/herself

Follow Karin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karinnordinphd/

Karin’s Website: https://bodybrainalliance.com/

For more information on Karin's programs: bodybrainalliance.com/change-academy

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What actually creates deep, meaningful friendships? In this episode, we explore the idea of radical honesty and why it might be the missing piece in your closest relationships. Inspired by a therapist’s take and rooted in Amy’s long-held belief, we unpack what it really means to show up truthfully with the people in your inner circle.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why radical honesty is essential for deeper friendships.
• The impact of people pleasing on adult relationships.
• Navigating anxious attachment and overthinking.
• Recognizing and breaking co-dependent patterns.
• The role of tone and delivery in honest conversations.
• Simple, practical one-liners to start being more honest today.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

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Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Long-term relationships often come with recurring challenges that don’t fully resolve, no matter how many times you revisit them. In this episode, we open up about the patterns that keep resurfacing in our own relationships and what it looks like to navigate those tensions with more awareness and intention. From communication differences to division of responsibilities, we share how we’re learning to approach these sticking points differently, including adjusting expectations, asking for what we need, and recognizing when support might need to come from outside the partnership.

• Differences between verbal processing and internal processing in communication.
• Navigating humor versus emotional support in sensitive moments.
• The tendency for partners to jump into problem-solving mode.
• Identifying when to lean on friends or therapists for deeper support.
• Perceived imbalance in household and family responsibilities.
• The role of recognition and appreciation in partnerships.
• Gaining perspective through shared experiences and role reversal.
• The added strain of parenting a child with special needs on a relationship.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Listen to Episode #333: Our Holy Grail Advice for Relationships : https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/333-our-holy-grail-advice-for-relationships/id1489878793?i=1000761069923

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Reflecting on the past ten years feels especially meaningful as Abby turns 40 and we both hit a decade of motherhood. While there’s no version of the last ten years where everything would’ve been done “perfectly,” there’s so much growth, perspective, and beauty in what we’ve learned along the way. This conversation is your reminder to look back on your own journey with a glass-half-full mindset because you’re likely doing better than you think. From redefining rest and challenging the idea that your best years are behind you to letting go of the “start next week” mindset, we’re sharing the lessons that have shaped us and the ones we wish we had embraced sooner.

Topics We Cover:

• Why rest doesn’t have to be earned and how to actually make time for it.
• Letting go of the “work for the weekend” mindset.
• The reality of building meaningful, trustworthy friendships in your 30s and 40s.
• Why “starting next week” isn’t a strategy.
• Abby’s journey with binge eating and the importance of starting now.
• The reminder that it’s never too late to change your habits or lifestyle.
• Honest reflections on early motherhood and what Amy wishes she knew.
• The power of asking for help and leaning on your support system.
• Simple resets, including the impact of a 20-minute break.
• Real-life topics like period cups and navigating everyday womanhood.
• Encouragement to reflect on your own growth over the past decade.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

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Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This week, we’re answering your questions straight from Instagram, and a clear theme emerged: relationships. From navigating constant arguments after the kids go to bed to figuring out how to move forward when you and your partner feel completely out of sync, we’re sharing honest insights, personal experiences, and practical mindset shifts that have made a real difference in our own marriages. We talk through what it looks like to step into your partner’s perspective, why some relationship challenges aren’t actually “fixable,” and how to approach them in a way that works for your unique dynamic. We also open up about intimacy, including the factors that impact sex drive and why this conversation matters more than we often admit.

Topics We Cover:

• A counterintuitive strategy that helped break the cycle of nightly arguments.
• How differing timelines and priorities can create tension in relationships.
• A mindset shift that can help you better understand your partner’s perspective.
• What to consider when small annoyances start turning into constant nitpicking.
• Why some household tasks may not be the best ones to delegate.
• The difference between “equal” and “fair” when it comes to division of labor.
• Why many relationship challenges aren’t fully solvable and how to navigate that reality.
• The two types of sex drive and how they show up in long-term relationships.
• Two common factors that can significantly impact intimacy.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Listen to Episode 21 with Vanessa Marin, Sex Therapist: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/21-herself-expert-vanessa-marin-sex-therapist-all-of-your-sex-questions-answered

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

This episode was inspired by a post from one of our favorite Instagram therapy accounts, @millennial.therapist, titled “Let’s Stop Postponing.” It sparked an honest conversation as we walked through each point and reflected on how these patterns show up in our own lives. From expressing appreciation to making decisions, navigating emotions, and leaning into joy, we share where we feel confident, where we are still growing, and how these small shifts can create meaningful change in our everyday lives.

Key Topics Covered:

• Letting people know what they mean to you and the impact of expressing appreciation in real time.
• Navigating big decisions with more trust and less hesitation, with different personal perspectives.
• Allowing space for emotional release instead of holding everything in.
• Taking accountability and offering genuine apologies when needed.
• Asking for support and clearly communicating personal needs.
• Approaching hard conversations with more confidence and emotional maturity.
• Wearing clothes that make you feel good instead of saving them for later.
• Exploring hobbies and rediscovering what feels fun and fulfilling.
• Celebrating small, everyday moments instead of only major milestones.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

Follow Dr. Sara Kuburic on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/millennial.therapist/

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

After Amy sparked a conversation on Instagram about expecting more independence from her boys, it became clear just how many moms are wondering the same thing: when do you start, and how do you actually follow through? In this episode, we’re sharing how we’ve gradually increased expectations in our own homes, why contributing to the household matters, and how to get your kids involved in a realistic, sustainable way..

Key Topics Covered:

• When to start expecting more independence from kids.
• Why contributing to the household builds confidence and responsibility.
• The importance of predictable routines at home.
• Practical ways kids can help with laundry, kitchen tasks, and shared spaces.
• Managing clutter in mudrooms and sports bags.
• How to handle different expectations for siblings of different ages.
• A helpful mindset shift for explaining responsibilities to kids.
• How personality types can influence chores and participation.
• Why starting small leads to long-term success for both kids and parents.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.