We often think communication is the key to a strong marriage, but what if the real secret is friendship? In this episode, we’re talking about what it looks like to actually be friends with your spouse, how that can get lost when life gets busy and kids need more from you, and the ways we’ve each seen this play out in our own marriages. We’re also sharing some simple ways to rebuild connection that can help you find your way back to liking each other again.

Key Topics Covered:

• How to show genuine interest in your partner’s hobbies and interests
• The mental load and how sharing responsibilities can create more room for connection
• Why small acts of kindness and quick repairs matter
• Ways to turn toward your partner instead of away during frustrating moments
• Creating more opportunities for fun and shared experiences

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/

Listen to episode 10 with Molly Millwood: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000466502777

Grab the books mentioned in the episode:

To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma by Molly Millwood: https://amzlink.to/az0O8mPASBGdi

Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less by Tiffany Dufu: https://amzlink.to/az0xopPThIfNo

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky: https://amzlink.to/az0P01tackqJA

Read the blog post from The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/blog/thirty-years-later/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today, we’re talking all things motherhood, mindset, and youth sports with Chandler Ashcraft, the creator behind @chanwiththeboys and founder of Moms Away. Chandler brings her background in education and her experience raising four boys to the conversation, sharing why perspective can help us take the pressure off, how to set developmentally appropriate expectations for our kids, and why confidence often comes from being willing to do hard things. We also get into the reality of youth sports, from the pressure to do more to the mental load that comes with keeping everyone’s schedules moving, and how to make choices that actually fit your family.

Key Topics Covered

• How exposure to hard moments builds confidence and resilience
• Teaching kids to take ownership of their attitude, effort, and response
• Why confidence, especially for women, is built through failure and trying again
• How to evaluate the tradeoffs that come with youth sports
• Keeping the long game in mind when making decisions for your family

CONNECT WITH CHANDLER:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chanwiththeboys

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chanwiththeboys

Learn more about Moms Away:

Website: https://www.momsaway.co/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moms.away

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

SITKA SEAFOOD: Visit https://sitkaseafoodmarket.com/pages/herself for $35 Off + free salmon burgers for a year with a continuous subscription. The code HERSELF25 should auto-apply when using this link

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Since it’s Labor Day here in the U.S., we’re bringing back one of our favorite conversations on shifting jealousy and comparison into inspiration and possibility. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other women and feeling jealous, intimidated, or like you’re somehow behind. But what if you could shift that mindset and instead feel genuinely inspired by the success around you? In this episode, we share a recent real-life experience from a mastermind we attended with highly successful business owners and how it challenged us to see comparison differently. Instead of letting the “small fish in a big sea” feeling discourage us, we used it as proof of what’s possible. We talk about the mindset shift that helped us move from comparison to inspiration, why personal growth plays a huge role in that process, and how surrounding yourself with the right people can change the way you view your own potential.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What it felt like walking into a room full of highly successful entrepreneurs.
• The surprising common habits we noticed among women operating at a high level.
• Why taking care of your physical health often supports long-term success.
• The “highlight reel vs. inner life” trap and why it distorts how we see other people’s journeys.
• Questions to ask yourself when someone else's success triggers comparison.
• The hidden sacrifices and personal work that often sit behind visible success.
• Practical ways to shift from jealousy to curiosity and inspiration.
• Why your mindset about others’ success can either hold you back or move you forward.
• How getting support, such as a mindset coach, can help you break out of negative thought patterns.
• The powerful question to ask when a negative thought about someone else pops up.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Have you ever found yourself taking your child’s behavior personally, getting defensive, or reacting in a way you wish you could take back? Today, we’re talking about how the Gottman Institute’s Four Horsemen of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling can show up in our parenting, why our kids’ emotional development means we have to take the lead when it comes to navigating conflict, and how much they learn from the way we handle hard moments. We’re not going to get it right every time, but becoming more aware of our patterns can help us model healthier communication, repair, and relationships for our kids.

Key Topics Covered

• Why criticism can feel like an attack or humiliation to a child
• How to tell the difference between taking a break and stonewalling
• Why self-regulation has to come before trying to coach your child through a conflict
• How to soften the start-up and communicate your feelings more clearly
• The importance of taking responsibility and modeling a genuine apology

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u

MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We’re so excited to welcome Dr. Marisa Franco back to the podcast for the third time to talk about something so many of us struggle with: feeling worthy. We’re diving into why simply telling ourselves to “love ourselves” doesn’t always work, how our past experiences continue to shape the way we see ourselves today, and what it can look like to meet ourselves with more understanding instead of trying to force ourselves to feel differently. We also talk about how our own self-worth impacts the way we show up for our kids and how we can help the next generation build a healthier relationship with themselves.

Key Topics Covered

• Why insecurity can actually be an adaptive response
• How attachment theory can become another form of perfectionism
• Why some people struggle to receive compliments
• The connection between self-worth, memories, and our emotional responses
• How to recognize, regulate, and respond to difficult emotions

CONNECT WITH DR. MARISA FRANCO:

Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco

Check out her website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/

Pre-order Marisa’s new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment here: https://amzlink.to/az0RRIqPA4gxb

Listen to her past episodes on HERself:

59. The Challenge and Triumphs of Adult Friendships https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000505703230

314. Attachment Styles in Adult Friendships https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000739104904

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

SITKA SEAFOOD: Visit https://sitkaseafoodmarket.com/pages/herself for $35 Off + free salmon burgers for a year with a continuous subscription. The code HERSELF25 should auto-apply when using this link

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What do you do when you and your partner keep having the same fight over and over again? Learning how to navigate those gridlocked arguments can help you stop spinning your wheels and start finding a way forward, even when you don’t see eye to eye. Today, we’re breaking down practical ways to approach these recurring disagreements, including how to look beneath the surface of the argument, stay connected when you don’t agree, and find a livable solution together. Because sometimes the goal isn’t to finally agree, but to learn how to handle the disagreement in a healthier way.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why some relationship conflicts are unsolvable
• How childhood experiences can shape the way we handle conflict
• Why vulnerability can help you break out of a cycle of defensiveness
• How to find common ground when you disagree
• What to do when pushing for a solution isn’t working

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, but it's rarely about the money itself. This week, we unpack why couples get stuck in the same financial arguments, how our childhood experiences and money beliefs shape the way we spend and save, and what it really takes to get on the same page with your partner. We also share practical ways to have healthier money conversations, better understand each other's financial habits, and build a stronger partnership instead of keeping score.

Key Topics Covered:

• The four common money personalities and how they influence financial decisions
• Why regular money check-ins help couples stay connected and avoid resentment
• How financial anxiety can show up as overspending, oversaving, or avoiding money altogether
• The impact of lifestyle creep, comparison, and keeping score in a relationship
• Four simple questions to uncover your own money beliefs and start better conversations with your partner

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF

MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/

GOTTMAN INSTITUTE ARTICLES ABOUT MONEY: https://www.gottman.com/blog/money-bankrupting-marriage/

“MONEY MAPS” FROM THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE: https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Resetting a tough day doesn't always require a complete restart. Sometimes it's about catching an unhelpful thought, asking for what you need, or making one small change that shifts your momentum. Today we're sharing five simple ways we turn our own days around when we're feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck, along with real examples from our lives that have helped us respond differently. If you've ever felt like a bad morning means the whole day is ruined, this conversation is for you.

Key Topics Covered:

• How to identify and reframe unhelpful thought patterns before they spiral
• Why taking one small action today is more powerful than waiting for tomorrow
• How clearly communicating your needs can reduce resentment at home
• Simple ways to build momentum by changing your environment or routine
• How gratitude and remembering you're on the same team can shift your perspective

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.