Like many of you, I've had questions about BDSM for a long time. I've had preconceived ideas of what it was and wondered how it fits into my faith and the style of intimate play my wife and I enjoy.

I have also received emails and DMS from many of you listeners asking me about BDSM in the context of a faithful Christian marriage. I've been hesitant in doing an episode about this for a long time, until I found the right guest.

I used to think BDSM was dark and evil--a thinly disguised form of rape, aggression, and violence. I also thought it was antisocial if it was about enjoying inflicting pain on others, in some sort of a sick and twisted way. But then again, even a couple in a "vanilla" missionary position could be doing it with dark and evil intent. While sex in vanilla missionary position or BDSM play can be done in a loving, faithful, beautiful, playful, and deeply erotic way that deepens a couple's connections.

In short, it's not really the act, but the intention behind the act that really matters.

After listening to this episode, you may want to try some of this couple's suggestions to enhance the joy and intimacy in your marriage.

I met Alan and his lovely wife Leila through a men's group that I belong to. They're a faithful, wonderful, and upstanding couple married for nearly three decades.

I'm very grateful that they were kind and courageous enough to come on my podcast to share their experience with BDSM. They answered many of my questions and I hope you find this episode really insightful, too.

Note that this is going to be a two part episode. This is part 1 with part 2 being released next week.

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Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy.

Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! Stay tuned for updates on this exciting retreat!

 Men's Only and Women's Only small group coaching program -  The next cohort starts January 22nd. We meet weekly for 12 weeks to do a deep dive into the intimacy of your marriage. And this includes a comprehensive course and all materials and coaching to help you apply everything you learn. You'll walk away from this three month program a better husband or wife and power to take your marriage to the next level.

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Ever feel like you wish your wife was a little less vanilla? Every wish your spouse would be more enthusiastic about trying new things in the bedroom (or out of the bedroom for that matter)? Ever ask your spouse what their fantasies are, and they look at you with a blank stare or an "I don't know"? Ever get frustrated when, after a discussion about your sex life and things get better for about a week or so, and then fizzle and go back to the way they used to be?

A husband recently emailed me with these concerns, and with his permission, I will be giving you some ideas about this topic today for both the higher and lower desire spouses.

(Link to referenced episode with Dr. Cami Hurst)

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Are you ready to make some changes in the new year? Are you tired of struggling in your marriage and sex life? Here are some things that can help!

Intimately Us app (free and paid versions) - a fun and easy way to increase novelty, get education, and increase communication and connection.

Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles

Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy.

Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Small group cohorts within this program also offer intensive help and support. New men's and women's small groups are starting in January!

Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life.

Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy

Let us help you get results like these amazing couples in 2025!